Conflict in a relationship is a part of life. It exists as a reality of any relationship, and is not necessarily bad. Conflicts can be productive, creating deeper understanding and respect. At the same time, they can be destructive, causing resentment, hostility and ultimately ending the relationship. Conflicts are critical events that can weaken or strengthen a relationship.
Many people avoid or deny the existence of a conflict or conflicts. They think by avoiding the whole situation before it began is the best way to handle the situation. Some prefer to give in rather than struggle through the conflict. Some raise their voice and get mad blaming the other person to get their way. Others appear to compromise by being slightly manipulative in trying to win the argument. There are only a selected few that can control their temper, be understanding, and genuinely seek a fair solution for both parties. The key to a healthy relationship starts by knowing when to take a step back when arguing with your partner even though you are right.
Perhaps you can help strengthen your relationship by identifying your own weaknesses and correct them first.
Are you the type that must always get your way? (If you are, your lack of sensitivity, consideration and respect of your significant other will cause hurt and create resentment.)
Are you the type that starts yelling when ever you are in a conflict? (If you are, raising your voice to create fear and power, ultimately your relationship will be mortally wounded.)
- Are you the type spends too much time with your friends and not enough with your significant other? (If you are, perhaps you might want cut back on your partying time, lessen your work schedule. Relationship counts how much bonding between the two of you, not how many months you been together.)
- Are you committing Adultery or likely to commit adultery (If you plan or is having an affair with another individual, perhaps it is time to reverse the situation. Put yourself in your significant other’s shoes. Would you want to be cheated on? It is time to think about how deep you value your current relationship. Is it worth risking what you’ve had for this new person? Would you be ok without her / him? )
- When in a conflict, are you the type that cannot express yourself? (If you are shy, try writing notes and letters to further express your true inner feelings.)
- Are you constantly finding yourself in a conflict with your significant other? (If you are; are you fighting because you are too stressed out from work, friends or family issues? Thus you are taking the anger out on your significant other.)

Here are a few healthy conflict resolutions you might find helpful:

Identify the problem: Both of you should sit down and have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem, conflicts, needs and preferred outcomes. Clarify to each other by letting your partner listen to what you want and listen to what your partner wants. This will help both of you understand why there is a conflict, but remember to avoid the “blaming you message.” And use your active listening skills when listen to your partner’s side.

Generate possible solutions: Write down the things you both agree on and upon your shared goals and interests. Avoid evaluating and judging each idea until it looks as though no more are going to be suggested.

Evaluate the alternative solutions: Consider each suggested solution and scratch out ones that are not acceptable to either of you. Keep narrowing them down to one or two that seem best for you both. In this stage you both must be honest and be able to say things like, "I wouldn’t be happy with that," or "I don’t think that would be fair for me."

The best solution: The solution that is acceptable to only both of you. Make certain there is a mutual commitment to the decision.

Implement the solution: It is one thing to arrive at a decision, another to carry it out. So make sure both of you is willing to agree upon.

Follow-ups: Not all mutually agreed upon solutions turn out to be as good as initially expected. Therefore, try it out and make it a routine to ask your partner how the solution is working. Both of you should have the understanding that decisions are always open for revision, but that modifications have to be mutually agreed upon, as was the initial decision.

Handling a conflict with a loved one, or someone you want to have a good, long-term relationship with is difficult since you care so much about them. With a loved one you have to be concerned with his/her best interests. When in an argument, both of you need to be open, honest and remain respectful. Being deceptive, manipulative or disrespectful will on further damage your relationship. Mutual trust is a necessary core issue in a healthy, long-term relationship and neither partner should do anything to weaken it. Having a negative, distrustful attitude is detrimental to a relationship. So if you find yourself having difficulty handling your current relationship. You could take my advice and try it out, or if you find yourself in a very difficult relationship and cannot handle it yourself, please seek professional help. If you value your current relationship and want it to last, don’t give it up so easily.

You can always pm to me if you have questions or need help. I am no relationship expert, but I do have a phD in psychology. Just remember, you are not alone