On Halloween I started seeing this girl because I met due to a friend. Things with another girl I was seeing before this went sour. Anyways, we exchanged pics first and then talked on the phone a few times and then we decided to meet up for Halloween on the first date. It went well and I was really surprised as how I connected with her so quickly. We talked for about an hr at Borders about a lot of things. Since then we've been talking on the phone everyday. We've only gone on one date cause she had surgery. I sent her a get well card. She's about 4 yrs younger than me. She's 23 and I just turned 27. My only dilemma is that since we talk about a lot of things on the phone, she already told me how many times she's been with a guy, that in high school she experimented with pot and ecstacy, and she had quit smoking for 2 yrs. Then she told me that her dad was a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for 4 yrs. I'm thinking to myself wow, she has told me a lot in just 1 date. Just worried now that we're going too fast and by the time we meet up again this Saturday it might become akward silence since we've talked sometimes 2-3 hrs each night on the phone. What do you think I should do? Thanks!

 

Take it slow, I think she just trusts you, which is why she is sharing some of her "secrets" with you. As long as she doesn't show up at your front door with a moving truck next week, looking to move in, I wouldn't worry about it. The fact she trusts you is great, some woman trust no men and it makes it difficult to have any sort of relationship with them. Good luck

 

I don't see a problem. That was bound to happen with the amount of talking you do on the phone.

 

don't think so much.

 

just don't get her preggie....................

 

I would stop talking on the phone so much. I'd much rather hear about someone's experiances during dinner, etc., otherwise you might not have anything to talk about. I don't see a problem with her telling you all that though. It's better to know some things right away.

 

wow...that's pretty heavy. I see tons of drama in your future.

 

i think she wants to get that stuff out of the way, rather than you find out later and be pissed. just think about it, if youve been going out for 6 months and then she told you all this stuff

 

I think it's a good sign that she's telling you this. It sounds like she's learned her lessons. Better now than later.

 

Sounds like she got baggage and is crying out for attention.

She's fucked up in the head and nothing can change that.

 

Or she is a really up front chick who has her shit together. pretty hard to tell without actually talking to the girl in person

 

When I first read the title, I thought you had a stamina problem.

 

me too, except I thought this was another "busting to fast thread"

 

Sounds like she feels she can trust you and she's being vulnerable. She's expecting that in return from you.

 

Thanks dudes for all your advice! I'm still a little overwelmed by all she has told me about her.

Oh goodness I won't talk too long with her on the phone anymore. I mean it's good to talk, but I'll just limit it now a little bit more. Actually last night I liked talking to her, but I was really wanting to play MLB 2K5 World Series Edition a little, so I played the game while talking to her on speakerphone, but had the game on mute.

 

 

hey you just wait buddy....any guy that claims he's never done something else while talking to a chick is a damn liar....

 

i no, i've done that but she hated me after cuz i couldn't remember wht she said


Her: I went to see the Longest Yard along with some friends

Me: Did you win? (while playing nfl 2k5)

Her: Yea, i won bitch (hangup)

 

Yeah, I actually used to play GT4 (with the wheel) while talking to a girl. I actually played better while not thinking about how to drive.

 

Don't worry about the amount of time you're spending on the phone. If it feels right to talk that long and you enjoy it, then stop paying attention to the time and just talk until it feels right to end the convo. I think it's a good thing that you're able to carry on such a great convo from the start! I wouldn't set any 'time limits' -- just take it as it comes. And if you go out and have a few moments of silence - that's okay too....it's natural! If you get along as well as you say you do - it'll all work out in the end, feel 'right' and go smoothly...don't worry about it...don't think about it....enjoy!

 

If she told you all that on the phone after one date??? She is needy! Tread with caution my friend!

 

I concur and whats that surgery thing all about?

 

I dated a girl like that once, then one that was the polar opposite and the 2nd one never blurted out that kind of stuff so soon.

 

Yeah it's one of two ways, either she's real cool and upfront ORRRR shes fucking nuts.

I have experience with this, I was talking to a girl for a little while who came out with that sort of thing right off the bat..... I quickly discovered she was a wack-job.

Be careful.

 

thanks for all your advice, well i'm going out to see her tommorrow night. i'll see how things go.

 

Ok, I just got back from my date, oh boy can I get your opinion on this date?
I planned that we should go for seafood and meet around 5:30pm. So, I get there in the parking lot, I thought I was going to be late, I arrive and before I get in the door, she calls and says that she'll be 10 mins late. So, I wait in the car for her to call me and it's already 5:45 and she still hasn't arrived. So, I move parking spaces cause a big truck parked next to me and I couldn't see if she has arrived. So, then she calls me at 5:50 and I meet her in the front and then I see her, but the place is packed. I told her that I wish we could've met earlier at 5pm, but she said sorry. She had to work today until 3pm. We had to go somewhere else to eat, and I walked her back to my car and I had a rose waiting for her, which she loved. We then ate at Fuddruckers, not as romantic as the seafood restaurant. We order and we talked a lot, but she kept kinda again talking about her ex-bf and other things that I didn't want to hear, plus she was getting distracted by this noisy and rowdy family right by us, so we couldn't talk a lot. I think the date is going well we talked and ate there until 7:45. When we get back to the car, kind of had a min of silence and went mini golfing next. Both of us got annoyed at these 2 kids who cut in front of us. So, neither of us were having a good time there and I made some comments like I tend to get silly a little. I don't think she understood what I meant and kinda gave me a disapproved look. So, after that we went to a billiard hall. I thought things were going well, but everytime I got close to talking to her, she took a little bit of a step back. Don't know what that means. At the end I got a hug from her, but that's it. She said that we can talk tommorrow after she work, but no good night kiss on the 2nd date. Getting mixed signals here to ask her on a 3rd date if there will be one.

 

Pass.

 

Walk away, you made a good effort, but if there isn't some sort of spark after that much time with someone its not worth any further effort.

 

seafood down to fuddruckers? ouch. unless it was red lobster, that wasn't a good move.

 

what in the name of christ is a fuddruckers?

 

Its like groundround, only different.

 

actually it was red lobster. the wait was well over 1 hr. i wanted to wait, but i felt bad for her cause she told me she hadn't really eaten anything. so, fuddruckers was 1 block away and i just went there instead.

i think these were bad signs though:

1. Both times we went out on Halloween it rained and last night it rained.
2. Red Lobster was deterred and at Fuddruckers we kept getting interrupted by this noisy couple and children so we couldn't have an great conversation.
3. Went mini golfing, but again we both didn't have a good time cause of the 2 annoying kids who cut in front of us.
4. Went to a billiards place, it was her idea, but i didn't have a good time cause i'm not that good at billiards and all the cigarette smoking was getting to me, couldn't stand being in a smoke infested room for longer than 30 mins.

you think it really is time that is no hope?

 

Does she have your number? if so wait for her to call you, when she asks why you didn't call her, just tell her you didn't think she was into you. If you are paying for everything STOP talking to her, if a second date equals three seperate events, which she arrove late to, and you are paying for it all and haven't even gotten a kiss yet she's playing you for a fool. I've been there, sometimes you want things to work out just so you don't feel like you failed, even if you can tell this isn't the one for you. Honestly if a girl I was persueing was significantly late for a second date I would have second thoughts about what will happen down the road.

Obviously no one else was there, but the two of you. This just doesn't sound promising. I've dated a LOT and you know right away that it will work or it won't, and its not the end of the world if it doesn't. That's what dating is all about, finding out who you are and what your looking for from a potential wife - sadly as you get older being hot becomes lower and lower on the list, though its never frowned upon. I've had some great dates, where you just know this is a cool chick and both of us can have a great time. I've also had some horrible fucking dates that I wish never happened, its a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs.

I don't know how old you are, but I am under the impression you haven't dated much. When you get into it, its easy to land a lot of dates and only keep the cream of the crop, if the first date goes less then great there is little to no reason for a second. Date woman who want to be around you, you will in turn find what it is you really are looking for from woman.

 

i dont see a problem. she just feels comfortable with you. thats is a good thing esp for the first date. i wouldnt really worry im sure you will find plenty of stuff to talk about in future dates if you 2 really hit it off.

edit didnt see your last post. things go wrong sometimes. i wouldnt read to much into it. i tend to do that and shit ALWAYS gets fucked up.. it was just a bad night with a good girl. still beats sitting at home alone right?

 

Well, including my ex-gf, I've been on 7 dates with 7 diff girls this yr, now 8 girls. Well I just turned 27 recently. I feel like on our 1st date she and I got along well, we talked a long time at Borders, but on the 2nd date everything was going against us. I think it was more of the environment more than actually us on our 2nd date. But, you guys said that I should drop her anyways?

 

man i wouldnt listen what half of these guys say.. for real do what you think is best. do what makes you happy not what a bunch of guys on the internet say u should do

 

very true. its all up to you. i wouldnt say its a bad idea to give it another try, problems arise, sometimes you cant help it. after the next date see how you feel

 

Don't make us your soul reason for action either way. We just have the information presented from you, from what I see it doesn't look good. However, we don't know how you get along with her and any of the good that happened, it just doesn't sound like it has potential from the second date. Trust your instinct, if it smells like shit and looks like shit, its probably shit.

I don't like to take chances with dating, its to easy to get hurt, if you don't click with this girl you have no other sings to continue, my

Bare in mind I have a three date rule, meaning, if I don't ejaculate in, on or near her by the third date there is no forth. To be successful with dating you have to have strict rules and adheare to them or your going to get hurt emotionally.

 

Does she have to be aware of the ejaculation part?

 

Does that include knowing how to spell???LOL