At this point in my life I have reached success to the point I wouldn't get married with out a pre-nup. Woman claim if you loved them you wouldn't need it, well if they loved me they wouldn't have a problem with it, besides people can change - its not a crime. I am not a bitter person and chances are slim I would be angry about it, but seeing as I've spent the last 15 years of my life busting my ass to make something of myself I am NOT going to just hand half of it over if things aren't to work out, that makes no sense to me, after all I've made it on my own with no help. I understand why people get married and I would love to get married if I met the right girl, but as I am getting older I find it easy to lose interest in woman quickly - I guess I am not meeting the right kind of woman.

In regards to seeing a friend go through an upsetting divorce, yes its hard, but you don't know what happened behind closed doors. Sure this guy is the type of person you'd recommend as being a good guy, doesn't mean he loved her the way she needed to be loved. When a woman feels loved by a man, she will not wander, its when she feels unappreciated and neglected that's when your in for a lot of trouble.

 

Its called marrying your best friend. And if you STILL divorce.. well.. you arent very good at making friends

 

I think that what is being said here is that you just don't know what your future spouse will do. It seems to me like women have their own private agenda that even their husbands aren't privy to. I mean leave it to a woman to go out and actually marry some guy just to divorce him for his money. That's completely fucked but its been done so many times its common place.

Perhaps it's just that women have such high expectations (taught to them growing up?) that the marriage bores them after a few years. I don't know. California has ruined my view of marriage.

 

Unlike many others when I turned 26 I had the sudden urge and desire for marriage. It took me nine years to find the right woman for me. I married her in October, 2002. Only one month later we found out she had brain cancer. One week after diagnosis she slipped into a coma. Four weeks after that she died quietly in her sleep, having never woken up from the coma. She was only 35 years old. I miss her every day, some days so badly it causes me physical pain.

Two and a half years after she died, I got married again. In fact, it was a mere 2 weeks ago. I rebuilt my life in the face of unrelenting sadness and despair. My new bride is my joy and my heart's desire. I was lucky to find the right woman in the first place, even luckier to find someone else that I could love enough to marry.

Life offers so many chances, there is never just one. I never thought in a billion years that I could ever love someone that much again. It can and does happen. I feel bad for your pal who got cheated on. That blows in major ways. Tell him from me to keep his head up. It hurts now more than he can imagine. It gets better.

Why did I get married, not once but twice? It is what I was meant to do. We all have to find our way. My way is not yours and vice versa. For those who never feel the desire for marriage, make the most of the single life you have. For those who married the wrong person, and you know it now, get out of it. For those who are unsure but feel pressured by a significant other, don't give in. Make the choice that is right for you. You will know it when you decide.

Good luck.

Chris

 

Most girls in India are like that. My dad wants me to go there and find a wife.

 

 

^^^^

I third that!

 

She was only alive for one month of your marriage?

 

chris,


I'm really sorry to hear about your first wife. That is something that noone should have to endure, or have happen to them. I'm glad you were able to find someone to be happy with again. Cancer is a tough fight, I know, it took both my parents within a 4 year time span when I was 10. You seem to have come out of that experience with a clear head, some never do. It's amazing how someone elses story can make you rethink your own ideas. Thanks for bringing me back down to earth...........

Chris

 

Inspiring.

 

Wow, I am at a loss of words - thanks for sharing that, I think its a shot of reality we all needed.

 

After this thread ...

I feel like sasha knows me. LOL @ ABreece as usual. Good points by the ric-ster. Beetroot's got the picture. And marriage is an awful investment in CT. (and disillusionment about marriage in CA? How about disillusionment about everything)?

LOL @ my own reply-to-all.

But Chris' story just got me all

 

How to put this nicely.. the amount of.. errors.. grammatical and just in general in your post.. lead me to believe that maybe the women that your boys are marrying arent.. the picks of the litter...

 

Thanks ric and crb-silver-tl for sharing your touching stories. They do not only remind us of what can be lost, but also lift us up with hope and better appreciation of the people in our lives.

 

That makes no sense whatsoever. Just b/c they were typing fast and didn't spell check or re-read their posts on an automotive bulletin board on the internet means that they're not marrying the pick of the litter? What a retarded post.

 

Sloppy/stupid people make sloppy/stupid decisions sometimes.

 

Agreed, but just b/c someone is sloppy on an internet car forum doesn't mean that's how they really are.

Sometimes in some forums I'm a 16 y/o cheerleader

 

So how many guys have you hooked up with?

 

LOL...

none. I've never done that. Sadly, if I do have any free time (which has been tough this year), this is the only board I spend my time on... but my point was more that things aren't always what they seem online, and that was a rough statement to make.

 

Oh my fucking god - is that "Whiskers" browsing this?

 

 

https://acurazine.com/forums/members/whiskers-160626/

 

Im loving it!!!!

 

"formally known as wsklar"

typo?

 

AWESOME!

 

Typo??? Where???

 

 

Young tl, to answer your question, we were only married for a month when she was diagnosed in November, 2002. She did not pass away until January 1, 2003. So technically, our marriage lasted only 2.5 months before she died. However she was in a coma and unresponsive for six of those weeks.

Thank you all for your kind words. I would not wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. We were engaged for a year prior to getting married, and we had only dated for two months when we got engaged, so we only knew each other for about 18 months total before she died. All of the old cliches applied. Love at first sight, finding your soul mate, knowing marriage was right for both of us at exactly the same time.... you name it.

During the time we were together, we only had one argument. We planned and had a perfect wedding and honeymoon. She was able to have the wedding that she always had dreamed of. There was no prouder or happier groom than me. Everything about our relationship was the best. When she got sick, I of course wondered why. We had both waited so long and worked so hard. Someone said this to me and it fits perfectly. What happened to her was going to happen whether I was in her life or not. God put me into her life and her into mine so that I could be there for her and provide her with the joy she deserved albeit for a such a short time. She died knowing that I loved her more than anything else in the world. More importantly, she loved me too. What everyone did not realize is that the joy she gave to me continues to shine in my heart even today. That is a gift that survives death. If I had it to do all over again, I would not change a thing. Well, maybe I would have married her sooner so we could have had more time together as man and wife.

Without that joy in my heart from her, I would never have been able to recover and move my life forward. I am able to love again because of the love she gave me. I know that she watches over me and she is glad that I found someone to be with that loves me and that I love too. Thanks again guys.

Chris

 

Username hierarchy:

Elephantman_nosefacehead > Whiskers > catbarf > *

 

Whew, glad I beat out catbarf.....

 

I think when you start out a discussion on marriage talking about how the woman automatically gets half plus alimony, you're starting off on the wrong foot. Sure, you want to think things through, but there are ways aroud the downsides mentioned. The best time to think about a prenup is durig teh honeymoon phase before marriage when everyone has a rosy idea about the other party. But it sounds like marraige is not for the original poster....yet.

 

Bolded a qoted section for emphasis....

Yours is an amazing story of conviction and a capacity to love. And - I believe you are right, that sometimes one does not seek it out, it rather seeks you out.....

 

neither can I

 

I firmly believe that a man has nothing to gain from marrying other than to have his life destroyed by a woman.

Seen it happen over and over and over and over. All my friends/coworkers (all professionals, good people) have gone through it and it utterly destroys them. What is the worst are the starter marriages that last 1-2 years.

Nothing to gain and everything to lose. Everything.

 

seriously, i don't see marriage doing anything a long relationship doesn't do. So basically what you are saying is no one should be in a long relationship

 

No, I'm saying you never give a woman the legal power to destroy you and everything you've worked for/built (that's what marriage is)

 

One major difference is that if you come with money, she takes half of it. I'm seriously thinking of a prenup. If I were marrying a rich woman, I'd suggest a prenup for her.

 

I wouldn't marry someone who thought so little of me and my convictions that he'd ask for a prenup... once I made the decision to marry, I'm not getting divorced for any reason unless he suddenly turns into a murderous psychopath and threatens to eat my babies or something like that. And since he likes babies more than I do, I doubt that will happen.

 

So you'd rather be miserable, but married, than happy and divorced?

 

You're assuming that I made a bad choice in my husband... I'd rather work out my problems than give up and take all his money.