mesmerize

aight y'all... i have an issue not a bad issue necessarily, just a confusing one that is driving me crazy!!

i met this guy at school a couple weeks ago... we started talkin & a couple days later we went out to dinner... nuthin fancy cuz we both had to work the next morning, but it was still fun. i didn't see him for about 2 weeks after that cuz we have really conflicting schedules, but he still called me a few times & we had some really looong phone conversations.

now a couple days ago we finally went out to dinner again... this time it was more of a real date, or at least it felt that way (he picked a kinda fancy restaurant and all that). afterwards we went back to his apt and chilled w/his roommate... i had class in the morning so i decided to leave & he walked me out to my car, then we stood there in the parking lot just talkin for almost another hour... he's just really cool to talk to... i'm ridiculously picky, but i honestly can't find anything wrong with him.

okay HERE's the issue... when i finally told him that i really needed to go home, he kinda stood there in front of me for a sec and i'm thinkin "okay what's he gonna do..." (in my dating experiences, this is obviously when the guy makes a lil move, right? i mean it's the second date... hug, kiss, handshake, SOMETHING!!)

but he didn't. we just said our goodbyes and he walked back to his apt and i got in my car... so of course right away i start thinkin he doesn't like me or somethin... but since then he's texted me a couple times & called me once, and he says he wants to see me again.

what's going on here?? usually i can at least think of a few hypotheticals, but this time i just feel like "umm what?!"

pgatour1

he might just be a pussy.
He also might be afraid to make that move not sure if you want it or not and he really likes you so he doesnt' want to screw it up.

I wouldn't worry about it, oh and BTW don't play into that i'm a girl and can't make a move or hint at a move thing.

Tony, who thinks you need some time with a real man

I hate using Junkster's idea BTW, but it's so funny

Ken1997TL

Maybe he's being really cautious because he likes you, a lot. Us guys kinda freak out when we find someone we are love. Or maybe he doesn't want to be rejected. One of you needs to make a first move, otherwise it'll be nothing but guessing games.

pgatour1

see that's what I said...i'm awesome at this.

and sweetie, make a move first...what's the big deal, no one will know. and it will actualyl make him feel better about himself

mesmerize

i kinda doubt that he's just a pussy... he's not cocky, but he has a nice kinda confident vibe that makes him seem like he wouldn't be afraid to try somethin.

oh and... P.S. - i'm a girl and can't make a move or hint at a move. :P

(okay, it's not that i can't, i just don't usually have to and i'm not sure i want to!!)

mesmerize

the thing is... i've had guys get like that with me a couple times... all googly & stuff
...and they didn't act the way this guy acts. they just acted kinda nervous around me in general.
he definitely doesn't. but who knows, i'm not makin any assumptions yet either way.

pgatour1

oh get over it...

he probably just likes you and doesn't want to mess it up...it's simple, girls know this. We are simple

maybe you're the best looking girl he has dated and he is like...oh shit what do I do

maybe you're not, who knows. make a move...GET EM DONE!


sidenote: I need new boat shoes...these smell.

EDIT: there is this insanely hot girl in my accounting class that I have been flirting with. We have had lunch a few times and I have been such a pussy. I so don't want to make a move and screw it up... I really want to see this girl naked. I think at Friday nights big party i'll take care of it.

TSX 'R' US

Is he more of a shy-ish type of guy?

I think he just doesn't want to screw things up... Heck...I'm that way..whenever I meet a really nice gal...I don't want to screw things up and I make sure I know she likes me first. Otherwise I'll look like an @$$ trying to make a move on her...

pgatour1

exactly

that's probably just it.

I have screwed it up with at least 7 or 8 girls, because I made a move too fast...it happens. But odds are you get lucky more times than not.

I figure failure to success ratio is about 1:10

mesmerize

git 'er done!!

mesmerize

from what i've seen so far, he doesn't seem 'shy-ish' at all...

mesmerize

okay even when you guys are sayin you hesitate cuz you don't want to screw things up... does that mean you won't even HUG a girl or anything?

i mean i'm not all that concerned that he's not tryin to get in my pants yet... i'm all about takin it slow, believe me... it's just the fact that there has been NO physical contact whatsoever that concerns me a lil bit! ya know?

pgatour1

Yes MAM!

I plan on it...but she is definitely Top 3 hottest girls I have been with, I have to work this one carefully (oh and spend a lot of money)...I'm still impressed I got her.

I'll have to try and get some pics this weekend. She is so hot.

Go take care of that guy,

pgatour1

ok ok here is what you do, alright...this is like you sort of making the first move but you're not.

Here pay attention to me.

Either go to his place or have him come to yours. Put on a movie, shut all the lights and sit on the couch. Start out sepearte from him...then mins into it if he doesn't make any kind of move just go lay near him, maybe on him or on his shoulder. If he doesn't make a move from that he is half a fag, don't talk to him again. more than likely he will hold you closer or something along those lines. Then take it from there.

TSX 'R' US

well....that depends... I have a hard time initiating...but it just depends on how comfortable I am with her before I initiate a hug or a kiss on the cheek...

TSX 'R' US

The laying head on his shoulder part is
That should be a clear sign for him...I hope...

Eggplant-EX

He likes you enough not to try. He does not want to risk scaring you off.

Be patient if you like him and don't put pressure on him. You girls have no idea how difficult it is for a guy to make the moves. I for one hate having to call a girl and then ask her out.

GOOSE

everyone is right on so far, especially pgatour.

I have nothing to add, except listen to their advice, cause they're right.

And us guys really are simple.

pgatour1

wow, hold on while I savor that moment.

I never heard that before, it brings tears to my eyes.


p.s. I read that as except pgatour at first, that's what i'm used to.

Shadzilla

Well, this was your first real date, if you don't count the first time when you just went and hung out a little. Point is, there are some girls who dont like to kiss on the first date (I personally haven't experienced this, but I've seen it on numerous dating shows on tv). He probably assumed you were one of these girls, and he didn't want to turn you off by moving too fast too soon. I wouldn't worry about it at all. Now if you get to like the third or fourth date and he still hasn't touched you, then either A) he's a prude, or B) he's gay and just wants to be friends.

chef chris

True.

The dude likes you, don't sweat it. Keep having those long conversations, cause those will be missed when they go away, trust me.

SilviaGTO

honestly i think youre over reacting. sounds like you both had a great time and hes still calling/texting so

maybe he wasnt sure what you thought of him and didnt want to push it.

Just enjoy it as it goes, dont sweat it so much.

evilone

well maybe he just doenst want to push the situation right now. he might not be kissing you or something because he isnt sure how u would react i bet if you went out a again he would make a move.

chef chris

You know, he may suffer from halitosis............................

SG81

iTrader: (1)

although you may be against it, i say you make the first move. he probably really likes you and doesn't want to screw up the "friendship". otherwise, both of you are going to keep your feelings inside, and eventually one of you is going to think the other isn't interested, at all, and before you know it the "friendship" is a memory.

UNCTYPE-S

one word...SHY

u might have to make the first move unless u give it another 284723729 other dates to have him initiate.

supermegaglossy

see, we girls want a guy who ALREADY feels good about himself.


girl, just give him a kiss on the cheek when you say goodbye next time! that should get the ball rolling, and it's not considered a full-on "first move" (at least in my book) because it's not on the lips!

Waddy

Maybe you have found what is wrong with him, the fact that he doesn't have the nuts to make a move on you. I mean I could understand if he didn't try to kiss you, but only if you had already hugged shook hands, stared deeply into your eyes, SOMETHING, but he's given you nada.

If you don't want to make the first the move, don't. If he doesn't make a move on the enxt date you've got to curb him. You obviously need a man that knows when to turn it up a notch and if he is still "silently confident" on your next date or time alone together, then it's time for him to be "silently confident" elsewhere.

I don't care how hot a girl is, you gotta put yourself out there man just don't try to slobber all over her but by the second date she should at least know that you "might" be interested. It's good to tease girls, make them wait, make them wonder if you like them because once you do make the move they will be damn happy to oblige. But you can't just hang out with them all christian like and expect them to stick around.

Guys grow some nuts, make a move the worst that can happen is she rejects it and at that point you know you can stop wasting your time.

pgatour1

exactly, good point.
Guys have to stop being pansies and just make the move sometimes.
Hey, even I have been known to be a pansy every once in a while, until I thought about it.

"No you're special, I don't want to fuck you, I wanna make love to you....and a man hear's that shit and he says OK." "his friends go so did you fuck her yet." "no she's special"
"That was the best damn cracker I ever had...what was that a saltine, no no that was ritz...god damn gimmie one more please." "then after a few months, you found out you just got some regular old crackers...it's a pussytrap." hahah some lines from "Raw" with Eddie Murphy (not in any order)


A girl knows within the first 5 minutes of meeting you if she is going to fuck you. She is just waiting for you to make the move. If you make the move and fail, then you know sooner than later that this is a no go.

Waddy

^Eddie Murhpy Raw still makes my abs hurt

Did you catch it again last night HBO like I did?

Nicky Pass

I think that he's walking on eggshells! Seriously, make the first move....its a BIG TURN ON!

pgatour1

haha you know I did. I can do that from memory and I still laugh my ass off at it.


If anybody else moves...Imma knock them out? cause i'm Ed, and if you mess with Ed you're dead.
Yeah you see that big nigger over there, He's about 6' 5" now i'm only 5' 2" i'm not big guy...but I'm Italian.

I love him holding his balls doing the Italian voice...he honestly sounds and looks like half my dads friends from HS.
(The Italian guy yelling at his GF is great.)

Waddy

Fuckin Mooley!

EDDI-EEEEEE, what have you done for me lately EDDI-EEEEEEE, I want HALF!

So now you standing there with a big mama burger, the ketchup soaked through the bread so now the bread is pink, you got onions and peoppers and all kinds a shit sticking outta the burger and all the kids are making fun of you. That ain't no McDonalds.

pgatour1

hahah someone posted that last week and I replied with Delirious...I was going to try and find it once I realized it was from Raw...but ahh well.

"R-E-P-T-T-C motherfucker you know how to spell it"
Lillian I'm making new rules, lillian cannot use the phone, lillian can not go outside.
This is my house
You shot Jimmy Walker in the lips?

evilone

waddy is our resident english professor and pimp

65 Fury Convert

He's obviously :ghey:

mesmerize

well thanks for the input guys & girls... i guess i'm just gonna have to wait & see what happens the next time i hang out with him, since there's not much i can do at the moment... i'm still not sure about makin the first move, but we'll see...

and waddy i love your advice... i don't always agree with it, but you sure do tell it like it is!!

TLD

Did you read my kissing thread? The girl made the first move and I thought it was great. She knew I thought she was hot and that probably made it easy for her so if you won't make the first move, does that mean you're not sure if he likes you or not? Make that first move and don't look back. If he doesn't appreciate your boldness, he's either gay or he was never into you, but how will you know if you don't try? I don't mind making the first move at all, but when a girl makes the first move, I find that confidence extremely sexy.

Doc.Booty

You need to make a move. Show up at his place naked with a 6 pack of beer.

4pumpedCL

That's strange that he didn't even give you a hug. Maybe he's been hurt really bad once before and is a little hesitant to get involved again....or he's just afraid to make a move because you intimidate him.