Getting Divorced :(
11-20-2004, 02:34 PM
#41
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Switching to another topic, I just bought the comptech supercharger brand new and I need to get rid of it. a friend of mine told me he could fabricate me a custom exhaust for a turbo. anyways I'm tryin to sell it for $3800 whoever buys it would have to pay for the shipping. email me if you're interested: Pimping_Rides@Hotmail.com
11-20-2004, 09:45 PM
#42
Interesting. Interesting.
Originally Posted by EmuMessenger
Hmm, that is an interesting story. Well, I knew divorce was far too common, but I guess a lot of my TL brothers are in the same boat.
It is 2:09 and I am still in bed. I got out to eat lunch, but it sounds like I need to get moving.
Thanks for sharing your story.
It is 2:09 and I am still in bed. I got out to eat lunch, but it sounds like I need to get moving.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Hey Emu-
I spent a lot of days in bed also. It's definitely tough to get moving. It's been three months now since I found out about my wife's affair and, trust me, the depression doesn't go away quickly.
However, a few positive thoughts have recently started creeping into my brain. For example, I realize now that, if/when we do divorce, I will be able to move anywhere I want to, change jobs, etc. Even though my life feels like a mess, the prospect of going and doing something new is a little exciting.
You're going to have a tough time over the next months, but eventually positive thoughts will creep into your mind also. I try to remember that there are many paths in life that can lead to happiness. You got derailed from the path you were on, but you'll find another one.
11-20-2004, 10:03 PM
#43
Still sluggin' it out
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Coming from a divorced family, it DOES get easier with time. The good thing is, you are still very young and there are no kids involved. You can Thank God for that one. It makes it ALOT HARDER when you have kids in the equation. My mom was 43 when she got divorced.
Just immerse yourself in your work and/or your family. Anything to get your mind off of the present set of circumstances. Try to move out also. Staying there is like making beds in a burning house: you're not accomplishing anything and you're only making it harder to move on. GOOD LUCK sir
Just immerse yourself in your work and/or your family. Anything to get your mind off of the present set of circumstances. Try to move out also. Staying there is like making beds in a burning house: you're not accomplishing anything and you're only making it harder to move on. GOOD LUCK sir
11-20-2004, 10:10 PM
#44
What your problem is?
Man, this thread turned into a pity party....
I hope all you guys that got seperated or are going through it are okay..... I feel sorry for all you guys, this is one of the reasons why I am scared as hell to get hitched. Emu, I hope it all works out for you man, it is a good thing she wants it to go smoothly, but I would get a lawyer anyway. I have heard that some couples that divorce on good terms retain the same lawyer to save costs (don't know much about it, but might be something to look into)....
wstevens, bro your story is terrible.... man, you are definetly strong....
hang in there guys.... atleast you guys still got the TL...lol..
I hope all you guys that got seperated or are going through it are okay..... I feel sorry for all you guys, this is one of the reasons why I am scared as hell to get hitched. Emu, I hope it all works out for you man, it is a good thing she wants it to go smoothly, but I would get a lawyer anyway. I have heard that some couples that divorce on good terms retain the same lawyer to save costs (don't know much about it, but might be something to look into)....
wstevens, bro your story is terrible.... man, you are definetly strong....
hang in there guys.... atleast you guys still got the TL...lol..
11-20-2004, 10:21 PM
#45
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by wstevens
Hey Emu-
However, a few positive thoughts have recently started creeping into my brain. For example, I realize now that, if/when we do divorce, I will be able to move anywhere I want to, change jobs, etc. Even though my life feels like a mess, the prospect of going and doing something new is a little exciting.
.
However, a few positive thoughts have recently started creeping into my brain. For example, I realize now that, if/when we do divorce, I will be able to move anywhere I want to, change jobs, etc. Even though my life feels like a mess, the prospect of going and doing something new is a little exciting.
.
I was thinking about that today. I cannot stand my job and was thinking about moving and starting over AGAIN.Anyone interested in buying some furniture and pinball machines?
Thanks again.
11-21-2004, 08:28 AM
#46
Interesting. Interesting.
Originally Posted by indoMFP
hang in there guys.... atleast you guys still got the TL...lol..
Hey Indo, I know this was meant as a joke, but it's a good point. You know how many times in the last month I have just gone out for a good drive? The TL is a great car to to go out on one of those "I just gotta think" drives.
11-21-2004, 08:29 AM
#47
GEEZER
I was devistated after I divorced my first wife. I have been married now 7 and a half years to the most wonderful woman(2nd wife) on teh planet. 
It will be OK....Everything happens for a reason.
It will be OK....Everything happens for a reason.
11-21-2004, 10:46 AM
#48
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Man EMU i'm sorry to hear about the divorce..I read almost all of the posts here, not once did you or anyone mention counceling. Have you tried it? What exactly caused the separation? Was it you? Was it her? Was it both of you? The was I was raised, divorce almost isn't an option, but ultimately if it has to happen, it will happen.
I dated once a girl who came from a divorced family, she was an only daughter. Real nice girl, got along with both parents fine, and the parents got along fine as well. Only problem with her was that she always needed attention and got upset when I would have to work or had something else to do when she wanted to spend time with me. I spent as much time with her as I can. At some point I spoke to her parents about a possible future with her, they both were not as positive about it as I would think they would be about their daughter committing and getting married. All she had in her mind was getting married with a divorce in mind. It pretty much scarred her for life. It ruined our relationship and we broke up. I barely speak to her when I see her, she'd be lucky if I waved or smiled as I looked her way, but I don't care.
Anytime I was in a long term relationship that didn't work, I made it a priority to get over it at fast as I can and move on. Of course it's different once you made that committment, you're that much more ahead of where I ever was. I met my wife from a friend. We spoke on the phone the first time for like 4 hours. After that conversation I felt like I knew her forever. Long story short, 3 months later we get engaged, and 3 months after that we got married. No regrets whatsoever after 18 months of marriage. We barely argue about anything, we always find a way to work it out. I don't think I've ever been mad at her for more than 10 minutes. I know the story won't help you, just sharing some info with you
Being that you have no kids is a good thing, It seems that as hard as it might be for you, it's 100 times harder for a kid.
Many that are responding have no experience with this kind of situation, merely "winging" it with advice. None of us without the experience can give you any advice that would be as valuable as someone with experience. All I can say is be strong, and try VERY hard to move on without depressing yourself anymore. Try to keep yourself preoccupied with other things so you won't have to think about it. Take up a hobby, sport, whatever! It will help you bounce back and move on with your life.
Good Luck!
Ed
I dated once a girl who came from a divorced family, she was an only daughter. Real nice girl, got along with both parents fine, and the parents got along fine as well. Only problem with her was that she always needed attention and got upset when I would have to work or had something else to do when she wanted to spend time with me. I spent as much time with her as I can. At some point I spoke to her parents about a possible future with her, they both were not as positive about it as I would think they would be about their daughter committing and getting married. All she had in her mind was getting married with a divorce in mind. It pretty much scarred her for life. It ruined our relationship and we broke up. I barely speak to her when I see her, she'd be lucky if I waved or smiled as I looked her way, but I don't care.
Anytime I was in a long term relationship that didn't work, I made it a priority to get over it at fast as I can and move on. Of course it's different once you made that committment, you're that much more ahead of where I ever was. I met my wife from a friend. We spoke on the phone the first time for like 4 hours. After that conversation I felt like I knew her forever. Long story short, 3 months later we get engaged, and 3 months after that we got married. No regrets whatsoever after 18 months of marriage. We barely argue about anything, we always find a way to work it out. I don't think I've ever been mad at her for more than 10 minutes. I know the story won't help you, just sharing some info with you
Being that you have no kids is a good thing, It seems that as hard as it might be for you, it's 100 times harder for a kid.
Many that are responding have no experience with this kind of situation, merely "winging" it with advice. None of us without the experience can give you any advice that would be as valuable as someone with experience. All I can say is be strong, and try VERY hard to move on without depressing yourself anymore. Try to keep yourself preoccupied with other things so you won't have to think about it. Take up a hobby, sport, whatever! It will help you bounce back and move on with your life.
Good Luck!
Ed
11-21-2004, 11:06 AM
#49
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Hey Ed, thanks for the kind words.
We were in counseling a few years ago, and recently (8 months ago) I was not interested in returning to counseling. We have both been in individual counseling for the better part of this year. When I was ready for couples counseling, she was not interested and wanted me to work on myself while she did the same, then she left and moved to Georgia. I repeatedly told her there was no way we would be able to work through this if we did not get help together, too, but she was not ready/interested. Indivudually, we have both grown a lot this year, but I believe distance was the final straw.
As for the source, the repeated lay-offs, moves and general somber mood around the house is a good start.
I definitely take some of the blame, but it takes two. She also had a nervous breakdown after I lost my job in February and quit her job. Essentially, I was not working and the only person with an income quit her job and that probably contributed to the downfall, too. I could not find the bandwidth to support her and spend time on my job search. Not to mention her parents always told her she did not need me, they would take care of her. These are the same parents that did not talk to her for a year, but wanted to reconcile when they found out their other daughter was moving to Japan.
Enough dirt for now.
We were in counseling a few years ago, and recently (8 months ago) I was not interested in returning to counseling. We have both been in individual counseling for the better part of this year. When I was ready for couples counseling, she was not interested and wanted me to work on myself while she did the same, then she left and moved to Georgia. I repeatedly told her there was no way we would be able to work through this if we did not get help together, too, but she was not ready/interested. Indivudually, we have both grown a lot this year, but I believe distance was the final straw.
As for the source, the repeated lay-offs, moves and general somber mood around the house is a good start.
I definitely take some of the blame, but it takes two. She also had a nervous breakdown after I lost my job in February and quit her job. Essentially, I was not working and the only person with an income quit her job and that probably contributed to the downfall, too. I could not find the bandwidth to support her and spend time on my job search. Not to mention her parents always told her she did not need me, they would take care of her. These are the same parents that did not talk to her for a year, but wanted to reconcile when they found out their other daughter was moving to Japan.
Enough dirt for now.
11-21-2004, 11:26 AM
#50
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Originally Posted by Shoofin'TL
Anytime I was in a long term relationship that didn't work, I made it a priority to get over it at fast as I can and move on. Of course it's different once you made that committment, you're that much more ahead of where I ever was.
Many that are responding have no experience with this kind of situation, merely "winging" it with advice. None of us without the experience can give you any advice that would be as valuable as someone with experience. All I can say is be strong, and try VERY hard to move on without depressing yourself anymore. Try to keep yourself preoccupied with other things so you won't have to think about it. Take up a hobby, sport, whatever! It will help you bounce back and move on with your life.
Good Luck!
Ed
with every word shoofin was saying... its true we are just "winging" some advice at you because we are un-experianced in this department, basicly due to some of our ages and others because this just hasn't happened to us... The priority to get over it as fast as possible is very good advice... I think you should make that your priority too... might help you in the long run... 
***hint***I have to disagree though with "None of us without the experience can give you any advice that would be as valuable as someone with experience." EVERY man will tell you at some point or another that if you go party and get some
in your face... its good therapy... Yes, try to keep yourself preoccupied like shoofin said... especially if its with a pair of 
and i agree that it will help you bounce back and move on with your life... maybe with a better pair of 
I see your future... you are going to be a 60 to 70 year old guy... with a nice 21 year old chick on your side that just wants to bang you till you are dead...
which sounds good to me... and if its not with a nice 21 year old chick... it might be with multiple 21 year old chicks... 
you'll be a 
11-21-2004, 05:00 PM
#52
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by AcuraTLjatt559
spooky whats up with millions of smilies in one post?
so how r u doing emu?
so how r u doing emu?
Although, I am still/back in bed (4:58PM) I am feeling a little better. I have been thinking about what I am going to do with my life and I am starting to think about moving. Not sure what, yet, but thinking. So far, I have given some consideration to Northwest Arkansas and San Antonio. I'd love to move back to Philadelphia, but property is soooooooo expensive there now, I do not think I am up for that.
11-21-2004, 05:54 PM
#53
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Maybe it would be a good idea to take a trip to see some of those places. It would get you out of the house and thinking more on your future.
Who knows - you might find the perfect place to help you start over. If not - consider it a vacation.
Who knows - you might find the perfect place to help you start over. If not - consider it a vacation.
11-23-2004, 10:03 AM
#54
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Emu,
I'm in the same boat as you brother. I'm not done with my divorce yet, though. My wife just abandoned me for some other dude...thank God I didn't know him. It's officially been a year as of Nov. 13th that we've been separated. It just seems as if I can't get this divorce over soon enough. If for some reason, and I really hope not, you find out that she had or has been seeing someone else, then it would be wise for you to file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. Believe me it's hard, but it's the right thing to do. I still love my wife very much, and that won't ever go away. But I think one has to put those feelings aside and think clearly on the situation at hand.
Definitely take the advice of indulging yourself in work and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Over the past year, I've become more close to my friends and family than I ever was before. I spent almost 3 months wandering aimlessly around my house, looking at pictures of me and my wife, and thinking about all the things we used to do together in the house, etc. Try and get out! And I don't mean go get hammered every night or sit at the tittie bars, but just get away from all the things that remind you of her. Put all her belongings and things up and away where you can't see them. It took me a while to become independent from my wife. I was so used to doing everything with her. Hell I even had to put myself on Zoloft for a while just so I could have a level head about things.
Now here's the tricky part. If you love your wife, you'll do everything possible to make sure that you keep her forever. Exaust all possibilities and options before you decide to give up on her. DO NOT let her trick you!!! My wife pulled the whole "try and be friends thing" with me for a month before I figured out that she was trying to sweet talk me into giving her more money, property, etc.
Now here's the FUNNY part. This entire month my wife has been apologizing profusely to me and told me she tried to come back so many times but was too ashamed to do so. She says she still loves me and misses me terribly. She also says she's been trying to reach out to me for the past few months. I'm very confused with all this! I don't know if this is another trick or if she's truly being genuine. She's lied to me so much this past year that I don't know if I can believe her. I've talked to her the past couple of weeks, and even saw her once. That was the first time in 6 months that I had seen her. All the feelings that I had pushed aside came rushing back to me, and right now I don't know how to deal with it.
Okay guys, sorry for the sob story. Emu I hope some of this helps. Please keep us posted on how things are doing. Remember we are here for ya!
Chip
I'm in the same boat as you brother. I'm not done with my divorce yet, though. My wife just abandoned me for some other dude...thank God I didn't know him. It's officially been a year as of Nov. 13th that we've been separated. It just seems as if I can't get this divorce over soon enough. If for some reason, and I really hope not, you find out that she had or has been seeing someone else, then it would be wise for you to file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. Believe me it's hard, but it's the right thing to do. I still love my wife very much, and that won't ever go away. But I think one has to put those feelings aside and think clearly on the situation at hand.
Definitely take the advice of indulging yourself in work and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Over the past year, I've become more close to my friends and family than I ever was before. I spent almost 3 months wandering aimlessly around my house, looking at pictures of me and my wife, and thinking about all the things we used to do together in the house, etc. Try and get out! And I don't mean go get hammered every night or sit at the tittie bars, but just get away from all the things that remind you of her. Put all her belongings and things up and away where you can't see them. It took me a while to become independent from my wife. I was so used to doing everything with her. Hell I even had to put myself on Zoloft for a while just so I could have a level head about things.
Now here's the tricky part. If you love your wife, you'll do everything possible to make sure that you keep her forever. Exaust all possibilities and options before you decide to give up on her. DO NOT let her trick you!!! My wife pulled the whole "try and be friends thing" with me for a month before I figured out that she was trying to sweet talk me into giving her more money, property, etc.
Now here's the FUNNY part. This entire month my wife has been apologizing profusely to me and told me she tried to come back so many times but was too ashamed to do so. She says she still loves me and misses me terribly. She also says she's been trying to reach out to me for the past few months. I'm very confused with all this! I don't know if this is another trick or if she's truly being genuine. She's lied to me so much this past year that I don't know if I can believe her. I've talked to her the past couple of weeks, and even saw her once. That was the first time in 6 months that I had seen her. All the feelings that I had pushed aside came rushing back to me, and right now I don't know how to deal with it.
Okay guys, sorry for the sob story. Emu I hope some of this helps. Please keep us posted on how things are doing. Remember we are here for ya!
Chip
11-23-2004, 10:04 AM
#55
Photoshops, and Polls!!!!
oh guys, you're all really begginging to scare me now...
im engaged...and soon to be wed...any advice to make sure this doesnt happen
(dont get married response is not valid)
im engaged...and soon to be wed...any advice to make sure this doesnt happen
(dont get married response is not valid)
11-23-2004, 10:18 AM
#56
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by chipplaysdrums
Emu,
I'm in the same boat as you brother. I'm not done with my divorce yet, though. My wife just abandoned me for some other dude...thank God I didn't know him. It's officially been a year as of Nov. 13th that we've been separated. It just seems as if I can't get this divorce over soon enough. If for some reason, and I really hope not, you find out that she had or has been seeing someone else, then it would be wise for you to file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. Believe me it's hard, but it's the right thing to do. I still love my wife very much, and that won't ever go away. But I think one has to put those feelings aside and think clearly on the situation at hand.
Definitely take the advice of indulging yourself in work and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Over the past year, I've become more close to my friends and family than I ever was before. I spent almost 3 months wandering aimlessly around my house, looking at pictures of me and my wife, and thinking about all the things we used to do together in the house, etc. Try and get out! And I don't mean go get hammered every night or sit at the tittie bars, but just get away from all the things that remind you of her. Put all her belongings and things up and away where you can't see them. It took me a while to become independent from my wife. I was so used to doing everything with her. Hell I even had to put myself on Zoloft for a while just so I could have a level head about things.
Now here's the tricky part. If you love your wife, you'll do everything possible to make sure that you keep her forever. Exaust all possibilities and options before you decide to give up on her. DO NOT let her trick you!!! My wife pulled the whole "try and be friends thing" with me for a month before I figured out that she was trying to sweet talk me into giving her more money, property, etc.
Now here's the FUNNY part. This entire month my wife has been apologizing profusely to me and told me she tried to come back so many times but was too ashamed to do so. She says she still loves me and misses me terribly. She also says she's been trying to reach out to me for the past few months. I'm very confused with all this! I don't know if this is another trick or if she's truly being genuine. She's lied to me so much this past year that I don't know if I can believe her. I've talked to her the past couple of weeks, and even saw her once. That was the first time in 6 months that I had seen her. All the feelings that I had pushed aside came rushing back to me, and right now I don't know how to deal with it.
Okay guys, sorry for the sob story. Emu I hope some of this helps. Please keep us posted on how things are doing. Remember we are here for ya!
Chip
I'm in the same boat as you brother. I'm not done with my divorce yet, though. My wife just abandoned me for some other dude...thank God I didn't know him. It's officially been a year as of Nov. 13th that we've been separated. It just seems as if I can't get this divorce over soon enough. If for some reason, and I really hope not, you find out that she had or has been seeing someone else, then it would be wise for you to file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. Believe me it's hard, but it's the right thing to do. I still love my wife very much, and that won't ever go away. But I think one has to put those feelings aside and think clearly on the situation at hand.
Definitely take the advice of indulging yourself in work and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Over the past year, I've become more close to my friends and family than I ever was before. I spent almost 3 months wandering aimlessly around my house, looking at pictures of me and my wife, and thinking about all the things we used to do together in the house, etc. Try and get out! And I don't mean go get hammered every night or sit at the tittie bars, but just get away from all the things that remind you of her. Put all her belongings and things up and away where you can't see them. It took me a while to become independent from my wife. I was so used to doing everything with her. Hell I even had to put myself on Zoloft for a while just so I could have a level head about things.
Now here's the tricky part. If you love your wife, you'll do everything possible to make sure that you keep her forever. Exaust all possibilities and options before you decide to give up on her. DO NOT let her trick you!!! My wife pulled the whole "try and be friends thing" with me for a month before I figured out that she was trying to sweet talk me into giving her more money, property, etc.
Now here's the FUNNY part. This entire month my wife has been apologizing profusely to me and told me she tried to come back so many times but was too ashamed to do so. She says she still loves me and misses me terribly. She also says she's been trying to reach out to me for the past few months. I'm very confused with all this! I don't know if this is another trick or if she's truly being genuine. She's lied to me so much this past year that I don't know if I can believe her. I've talked to her the past couple of weeks, and even saw her once. That was the first time in 6 months that I had seen her. All the feelings that I had pushed aside came rushing back to me, and right now I don't know how to deal with it.
Okay guys, sorry for the sob story. Emu I hope some of this helps. Please keep us posted on how things are doing. Remember we are here for ya!
Chip
Great, but sad story. I have all of the same feelings you do. She has only been gone for six months, but her furniture, pictures and all sorts of other crap is everywhere in the house. I have thought about putting some stuff in boxes, to try and help. My problem is isolation. I like to isolate myself, in fact, I did not even go to work today. I am relatively new to Memphis and all of my friends and family are 1000 plus miles away. With Thanksgiving Thursday and my bithday Saturday, I am taking this a little harder than nomal, I guess.
I was/am willing to do anything, but she says she can/will not ever live in Memphis again and does not want to continue having a strained relationship with her parents. Her parents do not like anyone she brings home. Long, sorted story.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
11-23-2004, 10:41 AM
#57
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Originally Posted by Jerky
oh guys, you're all really begginging to scare me now...
im engaged...and soon to be wed...any advice to make sure this doesnt happen
(dont get married response is not valid)
im engaged...and soon to be wed...any advice to make sure this doesnt happen
(dont get married response is not valid)
Its how you deal with the changes and hard times that will lead to success of failure of your marriage.
11-23-2004, 03:05 PM
#58
Still sluggin' it out
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Emu,
I know isolating yourself feels like the answer but IT'S NOT. Get out and get your mind off of the things & places that remind you of her. Work could be the one place that gets your mind off of the problems at home and if you turn all of the turmoil into positive energy, it can help make you more successful. Not that it's comparable by any means but when I broke up with a long-term girlfriend, all I did was go to the gym. Eating and lifting filled that void for almost year. Needless to say besides getting stronger, I went from 170 lbs to 200 lbs which obviously didn't hurt.
I know isolating yourself feels like the answer but IT'S NOT. Get out and get your mind off of the things & places that remind you of her. Work could be the one place that gets your mind off of the problems at home and if you turn all of the turmoil into positive energy, it can help make you more successful. Not that it's comparable by any means but when I broke up with a long-term girlfriend, all I did was go to the gym. Eating and lifting filled that void for almost year. Needless to say besides getting stronger, I went from 170 lbs to 200 lbs which obviously didn't hurt.
11-23-2004, 04:36 PM
#59
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Love my 99
Emu,
I know isolating yourself feels like the answer but IT'S NOT. Get out and get your mind off of the things & places that remind you of her. Work could be the one place that gets your mind off of the problems at home and if you turn all of the turmoil into positive energy, it can help make you more successful. Not that it's comparable by any means but when I broke up with a long-term girlfriend, all I did was go to the gym. Eating and lifting filled that void for almost year. Needless to say besides getting stronger, I went from 170 lbs to 200 lbs which obviously didn't hurt.
I know isolating yourself feels like the answer but IT'S NOT. Get out and get your mind off of the things & places that remind you of her. Work could be the one place that gets your mind off of the problems at home and if you turn all of the turmoil into positive energy, it can help make you more successful. Not that it's comparable by any means but when I broke up with a long-term girlfriend, all I did was go to the gym. Eating and lifting filled that void for almost year. Needless to say besides getting stronger, I went from 170 lbs to 200 lbs which obviously didn't hurt.
Thank you, your point is well taken. Although, I actually envy you for other reasons. I moved here from Bensalem (20 minutes from you) and frequently miss the area, especially, the great restaurants!
11-23-2004, 05:25 PM
#60
00' WDP BABY!!!
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sorry bro for your heartaches. i've read the whole thread up to here and i hope u can make the best of life from here on out and take it one step at a time.
11-23-2004, 05:29 PM
#61
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Thread Starter
Originally Posted by AzNAzz
sorry bro for your heartaches. i've read the whole thread up to here and i hope u can make the best of life from here on out and take it one step at a time.
11-23-2004, 05:48 PM
#62
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Originally Posted by EmuMessenger
Thank you, your point is well taken. Although, I actually envy you for other reasons. I moved here from Bensalem (20 minutes from you) and frequently miss the area, especially, the great restaurants!
11-23-2004, 06:10 PM
#63
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Love my 99
Yeah, the restaurants are really good (not to rub it in or anything). And then there's always the steaks down at Pat's or Geno's in South Philly (or my favorite, Jim's on South St.)
Jim's in number 3 for me. White House in AC is number 1, Tony Luke's is 2.
11-23-2004, 06:21 PM
#64
Burning Brakes
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Originally Posted by EmuMessenger
Thanks, man. It seems impossible now, but I know it will get easier over time. Right now, I am in the crushed phase.
I'm still mentally broken and its been over a year.
I actually bought the TL as some therapy because driving was the only thing I got some joy out of.
11-23-2004, 07:32 PM
#65
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by spidey07
Get some counseling. It will help.
I'm still mentally broken and its been over a year.
I actually bought the TL as some therapy because driving was the only thing I got some joy out of.
I'm still mentally broken and its been over a year.
I actually bought the TL as some therapy because driving was the only thing I got some joy out of.
I hear ya! The minute I figure out whether or not I will be financially solvent, I am thinking about a new car, too.
11-24-2004, 04:13 AM
#66
I slap people
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You guys may say i am too young and inexperienced with relationships to comment on anything here... o well, u might be right.. BUT i did just break up with my gf of 1.5 years last week so therefore i feel like saying something even if my thoughts have already been posted.
working out does wonders, and going out with friends will help as it ensures you that you still have the care and support from many.
as for me, i started playing online role playing games with my cousins.. this helped me the most because i get so freakin addicted that i draw my attention from memories w/ my girl to knowing how to find the "wonder sword of fire" or some shit.
And.. maybe it would be a good idea to take a vacation to get away and explore possibilities of a new way of life. Emu, why dont ya take a vacation to hawaii with a friend, lay on the beach w/ a drink, start scoping and beasting on the mass flocks of fly half naked hunnies. And if you are still feeling down, stop by my house in seattle and i am sure i can cheer you up by displaying my skill of farting on command. It's an air-sucking technique.
working out does wonders, and going out with friends will help as it ensures you that you still have the care and support from many.
as for me, i started playing online role playing games with my cousins.. this helped me the most because i get so freakin addicted that i draw my attention from memories w/ my girl to knowing how to find the "wonder sword of fire" or some shit.
And.. maybe it would be a good idea to take a vacation to get away and explore possibilities of a new way of life. Emu, why dont ya take a vacation to hawaii with a friend, lay on the beach w/ a drink, start scoping and beasting on the mass flocks of fly half naked hunnies. And if you are still feeling down, stop by my house in seattle and i am sure i can cheer you up by displaying my skill of farting on command. It's an air-sucking technique.
11-24-2004, 07:07 AM
#67
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by AngryAndy
You guys may say i am too young and inexperienced with relationships to comment on anything here... o well, u might be right.. BUT i did just break up with my gf of 1.5 years last week so therefore i feel like saying something even if my thoughts have already been posted.
working out does wonders, and going out with friends will help as it ensures you that you still have the care and support from many.
as for me, i started playing online role playing games with my cousins.. this helped me the most because i get so freakin addicted that i draw my attention from memories w/ my girl to knowing how to find the "wonder sword of fire" or some shit.
And.. maybe it would be a good idea to take a vacation to get away and explore possibilities of a new way of life. Emu, why dont ya take a vacation to hawaii with a friend, lay on the beach w/ a drink, start scoping and beasting on the mass flocks of fly half naked hunnies. And if you are still feeling down, stop by my house in seattle and i am sure i can cheer you up by displaying my skill of farting on command. It's an air-sucking technique.
working out does wonders, and going out with friends will help as it ensures you that you still have the care and support from many.
as for me, i started playing online role playing games with my cousins.. this helped me the most because i get so freakin addicted that i draw my attention from memories w/ my girl to knowing how to find the "wonder sword of fire" or some shit.
And.. maybe it would be a good idea to take a vacation to get away and explore possibilities of a new way of life. Emu, why dont ya take a vacation to hawaii with a friend, lay on the beach w/ a drink, start scoping and beasting on the mass flocks of fly half naked hunnies. And if you are still feeling down, stop by my house in seattle and i am sure i can cheer you up by displaying my skill of farting on command. It's an air-sucking technique.
As for Hawaii, that sounds fun, but I am the only one of my friends without a house full of kids. That does not seem like an option.
Lastly, I love Seattle and am intrigued by your gas, but I am not sure that will help at this time. Thanks.
11-24-2004, 07:49 AM
#68
Interesting. Interesting.
Hey Emu-
Just wondered what music you were listening to. Prolly lots of depressing songs like me. I've hit replay on Coldplay's "The Scientist" about a million times. Ditto for The Beatles' "Let it Be"
Just wondered what music you were listening to. Prolly lots of depressing songs like me. I've hit replay on Coldplay's "The Scientist" about a million times. Ditto for The Beatles' "Let it Be"
11-24-2004, 08:40 AM
#69
Burning Brakes
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Originally Posted by EmuMessenger
Interesting perspective. I bought Halo 2 on release day and have not even opened the shrink wrap. I cannot motivate myself to walk upstairs.
As for Hawaii, that sounds fun, but I am the only one of my friends without a house full of kids. That does not seem like an option.
Lastly, I love Seattle and am intrigued by your gas, but I am not sure that will help at this time. Thanks.
As for Hawaii, that sounds fun, but I am the only one of my friends without a house full of kids. That does not seem like an option.
Lastly, I love Seattle and am intrigued by your gas, but I am not sure that will help at this time. Thanks.
Boy does that sound familiar. Dude you just gotta yell at your self inside sometimes 'get up, get going, let's do this, you have to move on, you have to get going, let's go'
I hope you see a counselor soon, or at the very least talk to your doctor and let him know what's going on so that your physical health doesnt' suffer.
As others have said excercise is great, so is just taking a walk.
Journal, write out a plan, follow through with it. Its going to take a lot of strength but I know you have it, we all do.
11-24-2004, 09:21 AM
#70
Go USC Gamecocks!
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Originally Posted by spidey07
can't motivate to walk upstairs?
Boy does that sound familiar. Dude you just gotta yell at your self inside sometimes 'get up, get going, let's do this, you have to move on, you have to get going, let's go'
I hope you see a counselor soon, or at the very least talk to your doctor and let him know what's going on so that your physical health doesnt' suffer.
As others have said excercise is great, so is just taking a walk.
Journal, write out a plan, follow through with it. Its going to take a lot of strength but I know you have it, we all do.
Boy does that sound familiar. Dude you just gotta yell at your self inside sometimes 'get up, get going, let's do this, you have to move on, you have to get going, let's go'
I hope you see a counselor soon, or at the very least talk to your doctor and let him know what's going on so that your physical health doesnt' suffer.
As others have said excercise is great, so is just taking a walk.
Journal, write out a plan, follow through with it. Its going to take a lot of strength but I know you have it, we all do.
Well said Spidey. Emu it took me almost 2 months to get myself together and get motivated. YES IT WAS HARD! But I did it and I'm really glad I did. Like Spidey mentioned, you should probably go see the doc and maybe get on some anti-depressents or something. Seriously man, I thought by doing this that I was now considering myself as "some crazy person" who has to take his medicine to be stable. But it really helped me level things out in my head. While you don't feel totally "happy", you don't feel always feel all the hurt and pain that comes along with what your dealing with. And yeah, I happened to go out and by myself a Chuck Norris Total Gym and busted my ass on that thing for 5 months straight! Exercise really does help you take your mind off things. I also bought my TL a month or two after all this happened to me. Now that REALLY gave me a lift!
11-24-2004, 09:54 AM
#71
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Wow, thanks guys. This is good information. This is just a hard week for me. Thanksgiving tomorrow and my birthday Saturday, coupled with my nearest friend/family member 1000+ miles away. Just a rough week.
Hopefully, next week will be a little different!
Hopefully, next week will be a little different!
11-25-2004, 04:40 PM
#72
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
If anyone here is an attorney, would you please tell me what you think the bold font means?
Thanks..
Tennessee divorce law provides for an equitable distribution of marital property. Separate property, which was acquired before the marriage, is deemed the property of the spouse so acquiring such property. For all other property, acquired during the marriage, the Tennessee divorce courts are required by statute to divide the property equitably between the parties without regard to any marital fault, using such factors as the contribution of each spouse in acquiring the property, the liabilities and needs of each spouse, the employability and earning capacity of each spouse and length of marriage, among other considerations.
Thanks again.
Does it mean it does not matter who paid for what after marriage, or it DOES matter.
Thanks..
Tennessee divorce law provides for an equitable distribution of marital property. Separate property, which was acquired before the marriage, is deemed the property of the spouse so acquiring such property. For all other property, acquired during the marriage, the Tennessee divorce courts are required by statute to divide the property equitably between the parties without regard to any marital fault, using such factors as the contribution of each spouse in acquiring the property, the liabilities and needs of each spouse, the employability and earning capacity of each spouse and length of marriage, among other considerations.
Thanks again.
Does it mean it does not matter who paid for what after marriage, or it DOES matter.
11-25-2004, 09:37 PM
#73
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Originally Posted by EmuMessenger
Does it mean it does not matter who paid for what after marriage, or it DOES matter.
... It sounds like everything must be divided up that was acquired during the marriage. How they decide who gets what is by looking at who bought it (you can probably show some kind of credit card statements to prove you bought certain things), who needs it the most, and who is financially better off.
That's what I got from it...
11-26-2004, 12:03 PM
#75
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by SG81
sorry to hear, but i'm sure things will definitly get better with time
Thank you. At least the Eagles are still in first.
11-28-2004, 09:52 AM
#76
Banned
dont get married response is not valid
Spidey, your approach is provocative and not much strategic when there is a possibility of counciliation.
A coworker is in process of divorce. He got 50% shared custody, no child support and keep all his retirement funds, despite he has 4x the amount of hers, and 70% more income. He also got the house for under market value.
** No sure that any lawyer would ever get that much. **
EmuMessenger, be happy that no children are implied. Anyway, 60% of women are just crazy.
11-28-2004, 10:39 AM
#77
Instructor
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Emumessenger,
There’s some good advise here. I will add to it from experience, I got divorced about 11 months ago. History, 21 year relationship – married for 15 years, 3 kids, yadda, yadda, yadda.
First, do seek legal council. You need to have someone objective looking out for your interests. I bet she has one. No matter what you say about an amicable breakup, you need to look out strictly for “you” now. I would also highly recommend that you do everything to push the divorce forward. These can drag on ( lawyers making money ) for months or years, GET IT DONE NOW.
Counseling for you – Either professional or a very good friend is important. I tried a professional counselor, but realized that wasn’t for me. I leaned on a few good friends who helped me get through it. I also tried Zoloft for a while and what it really did for me was to help me get a good nights sleep. Your probably laying in bed at night but not sleeping well. My insurance covered both, ask your doctor for referrals.
Health ( eat – sleep – exercise ) – these are the only three things you should concentrate on when your not working. Exercising is key to helping you sleep, if you can lift/cardio late in the evening you’ll sleep great. While eating is also key, you need to turn that fuel into a better you, so eat healthy and exercise. One of the keyways to making yourself feel MUCH better about yourself is getting into great physical shape. Besides, it helps with the honeys. And as a side benefit, when you run into your ex, its always good to see her look when the see you in great shape ( kinda like “no worries I’m doing great with out you” ).
Important – try to stay busy. Don’t work and come right home. Hang / workout with friends if possible. Go to a bookstore or library. Depression is hard to beat by laying around and not doing anything, asking “why me”? Get out, find new friends, talk to girls, take a class, volunteer…….anything is better than sitting alone at home.
Its not the end of the world. You are not dying. It does suck. While you do need to feel bad, upset, angry, pissed off, etc….. the only thing that will get you living again is to say to yourself “ time to get going “.
On a side note………. In ’03 I buried my father, sold and bought a new home, got divorced, and changed jobs. My friends are amazed that I even survived. You have to have a positive out look on life. Doing all of the above will help you move on.
Hope this helps…..
There’s some good advise here. I will add to it from experience, I got divorced about 11 months ago. History, 21 year relationship – married for 15 years, 3 kids, yadda, yadda, yadda.
First, do seek legal council. You need to have someone objective looking out for your interests. I bet she has one. No matter what you say about an amicable breakup, you need to look out strictly for “you” now. I would also highly recommend that you do everything to push the divorce forward. These can drag on ( lawyers making money ) for months or years, GET IT DONE NOW.
Counseling for you – Either professional or a very good friend is important. I tried a professional counselor, but realized that wasn’t for me. I leaned on a few good friends who helped me get through it. I also tried Zoloft for a while and what it really did for me was to help me get a good nights sleep. Your probably laying in bed at night but not sleeping well. My insurance covered both, ask your doctor for referrals.
Health ( eat – sleep – exercise ) – these are the only three things you should concentrate on when your not working. Exercising is key to helping you sleep, if you can lift/cardio late in the evening you’ll sleep great. While eating is also key, you need to turn that fuel into a better you, so eat healthy and exercise. One of the keyways to making yourself feel MUCH better about yourself is getting into great physical shape. Besides, it helps with the honeys. And as a side benefit, when you run into your ex, its always good to see her look when the see you in great shape ( kinda like “no worries I’m doing great with out you” ).
Important – try to stay busy. Don’t work and come right home. Hang / workout with friends if possible. Go to a bookstore or library. Depression is hard to beat by laying around and not doing anything, asking “why me”? Get out, find new friends, talk to girls, take a class, volunteer…….anything is better than sitting alone at home.
Its not the end of the world. You are not dying. It does suck. While you do need to feel bad, upset, angry, pissed off, etc….. the only thing that will get you living again is to say to yourself “ time to get going “.
On a side note………. In ’03 I buried my father, sold and bought a new home, got divorced, and changed jobs. My friends are amazed that I even survived. You have to have a positive out look on life. Doing all of the above will help you move on.
Hope this helps…..
11-28-2004, 11:49 AM
#78
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Great commentary. I am catching the get out and do something theme.
I literally sat in bed all day on Thanksgiving and my birthday (yesterday) watching TV and doing nothing.
Thanks.
I literally sat in bed all day on Thanksgiving and my birthday (yesterday) watching TV and doing nothing.
Thanks.