dragging it on?
02-04-2010, 12:18 PM
#1
ALi G in the House!
Thread Starter
dragging it on?
so last night i broke up with this girl that i was seeing for the last 4-5 months..seriously one of the worst things i've ever felt. she was so in love with me, and such a great girl, but i knew in the end things wouldn't work out. i know she was looking for a marriage, and not to say that im not, but it wouldn't have worked. We never really dated, and she did things just to please me...we didn't have many common interests, and we are from different religious backgrounds (which is the main reason it wouldn't have worked)
I kinda had the choice to keep it going but i knew that it would just end in more heartbreak for her down the line. We never spoke about being boyfriend girlfriend or any type of relationship we had, but last night on the phone, i could tell that she was really really hurt, and now i feel like shit. i know im to blame since i never brought it up in the past, but i didn't want to drag it on and hurt her even more 3 months from now..
Do you guys think i did the right thing? Im kicking myself right now cuz i know she was totally inlove with me (even though she never said it) but i wasn't inlove with her..or not to the same degree she was with me.. and today i'm kinda in a daze cuz i dunno wtf i just did...
I kinda had the choice to keep it going but i knew that it would just end in more heartbreak for her down the line. We never spoke about being boyfriend girlfriend or any type of relationship we had, but last night on the phone, i could tell that she was really really hurt, and now i feel like shit. i know im to blame since i never brought it up in the past, but i didn't want to drag it on and hurt her even more 3 months from now..
Do you guys think i did the right thing? Im kicking myself right now cuz i know she was totally inlove with me (even though she never said it) but i wasn't inlove with her..or not to the same degree she was with me.. and today i'm kinda in a daze cuz i dunno wtf i just did...
02-04-2010, 12:52 PM
#4
Go Giants
Post nudes...
02-04-2010, 01:19 PM
#5
Earth-bound misfit
If you knew it wasn't going anywhere, you did the only right thing. The cruel thing would have been to string her along.
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02-04-2010, 02:11 PM
#8
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Wait.. you had a happy relationship and you broke it up over religion? If she would have done anything to please you have her convert.. 
I have very close friends who just got married.. she is catholic & he is jehovah's witness.. they worked it out, she had to convert but they're happy..
I have very close friends who just got married.. she is catholic & he is jehovah's witness.. they worked it out, she had to convert but they're happy..
02-04-2010, 02:42 PM
#9
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
Sounds like you did the right thing if that was what you wanted.
I have a small issue with people feeling that they have to share a lot of common interests with their significant other. IMO differences are what makes relationships interesting.
I'll let you slide on the religion side of it, because it sounds like you are very closely tied to you religious beliefs. If you are very opinionated about your religious beliefs, then there is no point arguing. I just never felt that. I believe in God but I also believe that he/she/it meant for us to make rational decisions that led to our happiness. For me religion was never that important, but I dated women who were and ultimately it ended our relationship.
I have a small issue with people feeling that they have to share a lot of common interests with their significant other. IMO differences are what makes relationships interesting.
I'll let you slide on the religion side of it, because it sounds like you are very closely tied to you religious beliefs. If you are very opinionated about your religious beliefs, then there is no point arguing. I just never felt that. I believe in God but I also believe that he/she/it meant for us to make rational decisions that led to our happiness. For me religion was never that important, but I dated women who were and ultimately it ended our relationship.
02-04-2010, 04:37 PM
#13
ALi G in the House!
Thread Starter
Sounds like you did the right thing if that was what you wanted.
I have a small issue with people feeling that they have to share a lot of common interests with their significant other. IMO differences are what makes relationships interesting.
I'll let you slide on the religion side of it, because it sounds like you are very closely tied to you religious beliefs. If you are very opinionated about your religious beliefs, then there is no point arguing. I just never felt that. I believe in God but I also believe that he/she/it meant for us to make rational decisions that led to our happiness. For me religion was never that important, but I dated women who were and ultimately it ended our relationship.
I have a small issue with people feeling that they have to share a lot of common interests with their significant other. IMO differences are what makes relationships interesting.
I'll let you slide on the religion side of it, because it sounds like you are very closely tied to you religious beliefs. If you are very opinionated about your religious beliefs, then there is no point arguing. I just never felt that. I believe in God but I also believe that he/she/it meant for us to make rational decisions that led to our happiness. For me religion was never that important, but I dated women who were and ultimately it ended our relationship.
but i still feel like shit cuz apparently i was this girls dream guy..just hurts me so much to know that i caused her all this pain..
02-04-2010, 04:38 PM
#14
ALi G in the House!
Thread Starter
02-04-2010, 05:15 PM
#15
Suzuka Master
Man if you weren't feeling it you should have cut your losses after 3 months. It takes two to tango and if she's feeling it and you're not then you're stringing her along and wasting your own opportunity to date other women. You run mad game, just take another trip with the boys to Lahaina and then PM me the pics
02-04-2010, 05:19 PM
#16
ALi G in the House!
Thread Starter
Man if you weren't feeling it you should have cut your losses after 3 months. It takes two to tango and if she's feeling it and you're not then you're stringing her along and wasting your own opportunity to date other women. You run mad game, just take another trip with the boys to Lahaina and then PM me the pics
and yes, i really need a trip now to clear my mind...but i dunno how soon thats gunna happen
02-04-2010, 08:42 PM
#17
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
yah it wasnt so much the common interest thing..more the religion deal. simply put i have a good friend who is engaged to a girl of another religion and his parents/family wont even talk to him, let alone accept her...and shes in the middle of converting! i dont think i could go through all the drama..
but i still feel like shit cuz apparently i was this girls dream guy..just hurts me so much to know that i caused her all this pain..
but i still feel like shit cuz apparently i was this girls dream guy..just hurts me so much to know that i caused her all this pain..
My wife and I have different religious backgrounds. Same as my sister and her husband. Same as a ton of people I know. My best advise to you is to stop living your life caring about what other people are going to think. Sorry if I'm being a dick, but this is close to home for me. Aside from my life, I have a lot of friends that broke up with people they were dating because of race or religion and they almost always regret it.
I think part of why you feel like shit is that you cared for her, and I hope you don't wake up one night thinking you fucked up.
Last edited by RaviNJCLs; 02-04-2010 at 08:45 PM.
02-04-2010, 10:17 PM
#18
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
^ I agree.. breaking up because you two didn't click is understandable.. but for something like race & religion.. life's to short to live in such a boxed in room.
02-05-2010, 08:29 AM
#21
Senior Moderator
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
iTrader: (6)
You did the right thing
02-05-2010, 10:30 AM
#22
Only you can decide if the decision you made was correct.
And being Indian mysefl, I can understand the importance of religion and the problems that can arise (with families) when those religions don't 'mesh' properly..
But remember. The thing about religion is that all these books/scriptures/hymns/etc. ALL of them are just someone's interpretation of (some would argue "insignificant") historical event that has become a "miracle" or "teaching" that the masses should follow.
If, inside yourself, you know you made the right decision, the sound decision. You should sleep easy.
And being Indian mysefl, I can understand the importance of religion and the problems that can arise (with families) when those religions don't 'mesh' properly..
But remember. The thing about religion is that all these books/scriptures/hymns/etc. ALL of them are just someone's interpretation of (some would argue "insignificant") historical event that has become a "miracle" or "teaching" that the masses should follow.
If, inside yourself, you know you made the right decision, the sound decision. You should sleep easy.
02-05-2010, 11:24 AM
#23
That's really similar to what happened to me and my last and only serious relationship.
Thing that sucked though was that we had so much in common. Till this day, I enjoy hanging with her. Unfortunately when we do, something always has to spark. Deep down, I don't think either of us have let go. I've told her how I felt...the main reason I feel we would never work in the long run is religion. And some people may find that silly, but that's my viewpoint. It's not because I'm afraid of what others would think....I personally would just break eventually, knowing she doesn't believe what I do.
Otherwise, I can't think of any other reason I couldn't see her potentially as a wife down the road.
Thing that sucked though was that we had so much in common. Till this day, I enjoy hanging with her. Unfortunately when we do, something always has to spark. Deep down, I don't think either of us have let go. I've told her how I felt...the main reason I feel we would never work in the long run is religion. And some people may find that silly, but that's my viewpoint. It's not because I'm afraid of what others would think....I personally would just break eventually, knowing she doesn't believe what I do.
Otherwise, I can't think of any other reason I couldn't see her potentially as a wife down the road.
Last edited by TS_eXpeed; 02-05-2010 at 11:26 AM.
02-05-2010, 12:40 PM
#24
ALi G in the House!
Thread Starter
thanks guys..i think i made the right choice for me. family is super important to me, and i think that even if she converted (which she may or may not have done) it still wouldn't be looked the same upon, so i think its the right thing to do in this situation...i just need to stop things from getting serious in the future so i dont hurt anyone elses feelings..
02-05-2010, 01:03 PM
#25
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Do you mind telling us the cultural & religious backgrounds involved?
02-05-2010, 02:28 PM
#26
Suzuka Master
thanks guys..i think i made the right choice for me. family is super important to me, and i think that even if she converted (which she may or may not have done) it still wouldn't be looked the same upon, so i think its the right thing to do in this situation...i just need to stop things from getting serious in the future so i dont hurt anyone elses feelings..
02-05-2010, 03:58 PM
#27
ALi G in the House!
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