Does Love Even Exist Anymore?
12-22-2017, 09:17 PM
#41
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
12-24-2017, 12:47 PM
#42
Alright, I'll give my 
Stop worrying if she gonna break your heart, cheat on you, be deceitful
Be righteous, not insecure and self-righteous.
Don't let your interactions with women so far lead to misogyny.
Focus on doing right by you and putting yourself out there enough to be seen.
Love is real, a relationship is real hard
That doesn't mean you don't put your heart out there, otherwise what's the point?
A relationship is a lot harder when you aren't simpatico past a couple of bumps in the sheets.
That doesn't mean she has to like the stuff you like or do the things you do.
But she has to be like a best friend, and at least acknowledge the things that make you tick.
That being said, a woman is attracted to genuine things about a man
Is he a bread winner, attractive, independent, positive personality traits, etc
Not every dude is a 10/10 in these areas, so focus on your positives and be genuine
If she digs you, seek her intentions, and figure out if your intentions road block hers
Older women aren't fucking around, they've been around, they're looking for a real dude.
Don't follow some alpha pua dipshit and try to be them.
Focus on being you, holding up to core values, which will be respected
You can self-improve but don't chase bullshit.
Be respectable, and you'll be respected. That is the simple truth.
Respectable dudes get noticed, but they don't chase, and they don't cling.
If it ain't right, on to the next one. Trust Majofo.
Stop worrying if she gonna break your heart, cheat on you, be deceitful
Be righteous, not insecure and self-righteous.
Don't let your interactions with women so far lead to misogyny.
Focus on doing right by you and putting yourself out there enough to be seen.
Love is real, a relationship is real hard
That doesn't mean you don't put your heart out there, otherwise what's the point?
A relationship is a lot harder when you aren't simpatico past a couple of bumps in the sheets.
That doesn't mean she has to like the stuff you like or do the things you do.
But she has to be like a best friend, and at least acknowledge the things that make you tick.
That being said, a woman is attracted to genuine things about a man
Is he a bread winner, attractive, independent, positive personality traits, etc
Not every dude is a 10/10 in these areas, so focus on your positives and be genuine
If she digs you, seek her intentions, and figure out if your intentions road block hers
Older women aren't fucking around, they've been around, they're looking for a real dude.
Don't follow some alpha pua dipshit and try to be them.
Focus on being you, holding up to core values, which will be respected
You can self-improve but don't chase bullshit.
Be respectable, and you'll be respected. That is the simple truth.
Respectable dudes get noticed, but they don't chase, and they don't cling.
If it ain't right, on to the next one. Trust Majofo.
You know I've been thinking about this for awhile. I know plenty of guys that are in the same boat as me (30s) that have a hard time meeting quality women. They wind up finding great women that are in their early 20s or so Not saying I personally think a decent sized age gap is wrong exactly just that there is some sort of stigma that I need to shake off, I guess.
01-29-2018, 08:12 AM
#43
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Mrs. Dallison and i have been together since 1995, so over 22 years. There is love, trust and not judging each other. Once you find it, you know. But don't force the issue, but do change your environment.
01-29-2018, 08:35 AM
#44
Latent car nut
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Mrs. Shipo and I celebrated our 24 anniversary a week ago yesterday.
Yes, over the years there has been a few times when we
or even 
, however, we've always worked it out and 
Yes, over the years there has been a few times when we
or even , however, we've always worked it out and
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dallison (01-31-2018)
02-03-2018, 08:38 PM
#45
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
Ever since I was in high school, I have struggled with dating women and as a result, I hardly ever try anymore simply because my return on investment has always been in the negatives. Because of the way I've been treated by women in the past combined with all of this shit falling down around me, it really makes me wonder if this is even worth the trouble anymore and further reinforces my reluctant but necessary distrust of women. I don't believe a word of what they say. I don't believe what they say they want and nor do I believe that anything they ever tell me is remotely close to honest. I go into virtually every interaction with a woman believing that I am going to come out the other end being the one who got fucked. Despite this, I've tried to put myself out there over the past few years to get past this and be proven wrong but every single time I do, somebody very close to me has had their heart ripped out of their chest by the woman they loved and in many cases, it's involved infidelity and lie on top of lie on top of lie on top of sugar-coated lie. It's as if the universe is trying to warn me to get out and stay out. This is now becoming an annual thing (two so far this year) and what scares me is, I don't expect it to stop. I've got plenty more married friends and what's really sad is the fact that I'm starting to mentally place bets on who's going to be next.
So let me ask you this: Does the so-called love everybody says they want and some people claim to have even exist or is it all just make believe so companies can sell cards, flowers, vacation packages and baby shower trinkets? I'm seriously beginning to think it's just a bunch of bullshit and people pretending that everything is okay and they can make it work until it becomes clear that a slow, painful death by malfunctioning chainsaw would be preferable to 1) divorce or 2) continuing to pretend it's all okay. At that point they completely break down and hit the lowest of lows. Watching this most recent divorce play out has been utterly horrifying and to see a good friend become totally and completely broken after his trust was betrayed by the woman he genuinely loved has really made me wonder if my penis will continue to be for show. I really don't think I could go through something like that...I've been hurt enough in my life and I just can't go through something like that, let alone more than once.
I know no relationship is perfect and one of the more recent collapses among my friends was due to not only infidelity but a lack of communication and a fear of conflict. Maybe it's just Portland women but it seems to me that the kind of love we were all told about as kids and hoped to find was a bigger fallacy than Bernie Sanders' campaign. I look at my parents, married for 36 years, and I see a kind of love that is extinct now and the reason I haven't found it is because it no longer exists. My opinion is that there is no such thing as true love anymore; just people using each other for their own shallow means to an end until the reservoir dries up and then they move on. The person who made the mistake in believing it could be real love is the one left broken hearted, wondering what the fuck just happened to them and in my observation, that party is usually the man.
My flame suit is on. Do your worst.
So let me ask you this: Does the so-called love everybody says they want and some people claim to have even exist or is it all just make believe so companies can sell cards, flowers, vacation packages and baby shower trinkets? I'm seriously beginning to think it's just a bunch of bullshit and people pretending that everything is okay and they can make it work until it becomes clear that a slow, painful death by malfunctioning chainsaw would be preferable to 1) divorce or 2) continuing to pretend it's all okay. At that point they completely break down and hit the lowest of lows. Watching this most recent divorce play out has been utterly horrifying and to see a good friend become totally and completely broken after his trust was betrayed by the woman he genuinely loved has really made me wonder if my penis will continue to be for show. I really don't think I could go through something like that...I've been hurt enough in my life and I just can't go through something like that, let alone more than once.
I know no relationship is perfect and one of the more recent collapses among my friends was due to not only infidelity but a lack of communication and a fear of conflict. Maybe it's just Portland women but it seems to me that the kind of love we were all told about as kids and hoped to find was a bigger fallacy than Bernie Sanders' campaign. I look at my parents, married for 36 years, and I see a kind of love that is extinct now and the reason I haven't found it is because it no longer exists. My opinion is that there is no such thing as true love anymore; just people using each other for their own shallow means to an end until the reservoir dries up and then they move on. The person who made the mistake in believing it could be real love is the one left broken hearted, wondering what the fuck just happened to them and in my observation, that party is usually the man.
My flame suit is on. Do your worst.
I think we (as a culture) have the concept of love all wrong. I think we make two fundamental mistakes. First one starts with our language – we have one word that can be used to say “I love my spouse”, “I love my parents”, “I love football” and “I love my friend”. However these are all very different things and require completely different behaviors. But the net result is we water down and even trivialize what it really means to “love”.
Second mistake we make is associating love with feelings. When we are happy and being cared for, we are in love. When we are unhappy, we “fall out of love”. The problem is when we define “love” in terms of whether the person is pleasing you, it’s going to fail at some point. It’s in our nature to screw up. We will inevitably disappoint people we care about. So if we want to find love, it has to be something that can transcend the ups and downs that are driven by feelings.
Most folks probably don’t know that the Bible uses four different words for love (in the original Greek language). The word used to “love your brother” is different than the word used “love your wife” or “love your husband”. The word used to describe love toward your spouse is agape (in Greek), which is more accurately translated as, “acting in the best interest of another person”. So when we read, "husbands love your wife", what it's really saying is "husbands, act in the best interest of your wife." Basically, be unselfish. Have their best interests at heard even if it costs you something. And if we think about it, isn’t that what it really means to love someone? To place their interest ahead of your own, even if it's a sacrifice to you? I’ve been married 28 years – I absolutely, without a doubt, believe that concept is key.
So when it comes to a relationship, I think we need four things. First is physical attraction. That’s a must. Second is you need to enjoy each other’s company (basically get along). Third is respect and trust – those two things come along as you spend time together. However I really think most folks stop there – they get those three things checked, they feel good about each other, and off they go. Then when trouble hits, a lot of those relationships won’t survive. The fourth part is the key, which is the commitment by both individuals to act in the best interest of the other person. Now that happens in two ways – first is you should have the desire do to that. You should want to look out for them, and they you. I would make the argument that you know you are in “love” if you have that strong desire to act in their best interest over your own. But the second might be the most important aspect – no matter how good you get along with someone there are times when they will make you angry. They will disappoint you. They will act selfishly toward you. In those moments, you have to choose to still act in their best interest. It’s a choice you make. Nothing mystic thing about it – you have to just decide. And it has to be a choice, because it's not going to be something you want to do when someone has made you angry.
In 28 years (and 31 being together), I have never, ever been let down my choosing her interests over my need to be angry. But it's hard. And I certainly don't get it right all the time. But when people say "marriage takes work" - that's the work right there. I'll add that everything I just said has to happen both ways. It has to be both people having the best interest of the other person at heart. If you can do that, you have balance. You have compromise.
So if you are asking yourself “can I find love”, I would tell you this: if you want to find love, find those first three things of course, but don't stop there. Also look for someone with a generous heart. Avoid people who are chronically selfish. Selfishness is what breaks everything I just wrote about. Every relationship that ends can be traced to an act of selfishness on one or both parties. Find someone who has your best interest at heart. And if you find yourself wanting to act in their best interest out of desire, then you have something. If you have two people doing that – in balance – that’s what enables a healthy relationship that can last.
Peace.
Last edited by 1Louder; 02-03-2018 at 08:49 PM.
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02-04-2018, 08:00 AM
#46
Senior Moderator
05-15-2018, 06:06 PM
#47
Senior Moderator
Sorry I know this is long, but I want to try and offer some insights to consider. I don't mean to offend you (or anyone reading) or sound judgmental, so I hope none of this comes out that way.
I think we (as a culture) have the concept of love all wrong. I think we make two fundamental mistakes. First one starts with our language – we have one word that can be used to say “I love my spouse”, “I love my parents”, “I love football” and “I love my friend”. However these are all very different things and require completely different behaviors. But the net result is we water down and even trivialize what it really means to “love”.
Second mistake we make is associating love with feelings. When we are happy and being cared for, we are in love. When we are unhappy, we “fall out of love”. The problem is when we define “love” in terms of whether the person is pleasing you, it’s going to fail at some point. It’s in our nature to screw up. We will inevitably disappoint people we care about. So if we want to find love, it has to be something that can transcend the ups and downs that are driven by feelings.
Most folks probably don’t know that the Bible uses four different words for love (in the original Greek language). The word used to “love your brother” is different than the word used “love your wife” or “love your husband”. The word used to describe love toward your spouse is agape (in Greek), which is more accurately translated as, “acting in the best interest of another person”. So when we read, "husbands love your wife", what it's really saying is "husbands, act in the best interest of your wife." Basically, be unselfish. Have their best interests at heard even if it costs you something. And if we think about it, isn’t that what it really means to love someone? To place their interest ahead of your own, even if it's a sacrifice to you? I’ve been married 28 years – I absolutely, without a doubt, believe that concept is key.
So when it comes to a relationship, I think we need four things. First is physical attraction. That’s a must. Second is you need to enjoy each other’s company (basically get along). Third is respect and trust – those two things come along as you spend time together. However I really think most folks stop there – they get those three things checked, they feel good about each other, and off they go. Then when trouble hits, a lot of those relationships won’t survive. The fourth part is the key, which is the commitment by both individuals to act in the best interest of the other person. Now that happens in two ways – first is you should have the desire do to that. You should want to look out for them, and they you. I would make the argument that you know you are in “love” if you have that strong desire to act in their best interest over your own. But the second might be the most important aspect – no matter how good you get along with someone there are times when they will make you angry. They will disappoint you. They will act selfishly toward you. In those moments, you have to choose to still act in their best interest. It’s a choice you make. Nothing mystic thing about it – you have to just decide. And it has to be a choice, because it's not going to be something you want to do when someone has made you angry.
In 28 years (and 31 being together), I have never, ever been let down my choosing her interests over my need to be angry. But it's hard. And I certainly don't get it right all the time. But when people say "marriage takes work" - that's the work right there. I'll add that everything I just said has to happen both ways. It has to be both people having the best interest of the other person at heart. If you can do that, you have balance. You have compromise.
So if you are asking yourself “can I find love”, I would tell you this: if you want to find love, find those first three things of course, but don't stop there. Also look for someone with a generous heart. Avoid people who are chronically selfish. Selfishness is what breaks everything I just wrote about. Every relationship that ends can be traced to an act of selfishness on one or both parties. Find someone who has your best interest at heart. And if you find yourself wanting to act in their best interest out of desire, then you have something. If you have two people doing that – in balance – that’s what enables a healthy relationship that can last.
Peace.
I think we (as a culture) have the concept of love all wrong. I think we make two fundamental mistakes. First one starts with our language – we have one word that can be used to say “I love my spouse”, “I love my parents”, “I love football” and “I love my friend”. However these are all very different things and require completely different behaviors. But the net result is we water down and even trivialize what it really means to “love”.
Second mistake we make is associating love with feelings. When we are happy and being cared for, we are in love. When we are unhappy, we “fall out of love”. The problem is when we define “love” in terms of whether the person is pleasing you, it’s going to fail at some point. It’s in our nature to screw up. We will inevitably disappoint people we care about. So if we want to find love, it has to be something that can transcend the ups and downs that are driven by feelings.
Most folks probably don’t know that the Bible uses four different words for love (in the original Greek language). The word used to “love your brother” is different than the word used “love your wife” or “love your husband”. The word used to describe love toward your spouse is agape (in Greek), which is more accurately translated as, “acting in the best interest of another person”. So when we read, "husbands love your wife", what it's really saying is "husbands, act in the best interest of your wife." Basically, be unselfish. Have their best interests at heard even if it costs you something. And if we think about it, isn’t that what it really means to love someone? To place their interest ahead of your own, even if it's a sacrifice to you? I’ve been married 28 years – I absolutely, without a doubt, believe that concept is key.
So when it comes to a relationship, I think we need four things. First is physical attraction. That’s a must. Second is you need to enjoy each other’s company (basically get along). Third is respect and trust – those two things come along as you spend time together. However I really think most folks stop there – they get those three things checked, they feel good about each other, and off they go. Then when trouble hits, a lot of those relationships won’t survive. The fourth part is the key, which is the commitment by both individuals to act in the best interest of the other person. Now that happens in two ways – first is you should have the desire do to that. You should want to look out for them, and they you. I would make the argument that you know you are in “love” if you have that strong desire to act in their best interest over your own. But the second might be the most important aspect – no matter how good you get along with someone there are times when they will make you angry. They will disappoint you. They will act selfishly toward you. In those moments, you have to choose to still act in their best interest. It’s a choice you make. Nothing mystic thing about it – you have to just decide. And it has to be a choice, because it's not going to be something you want to do when someone has made you angry.
In 28 years (and 31 being together), I have never, ever been let down my choosing her interests over my need to be angry. But it's hard. And I certainly don't get it right all the time. But when people say "marriage takes work" - that's the work right there. I'll add that everything I just said has to happen both ways. It has to be both people having the best interest of the other person at heart. If you can do that, you have balance. You have compromise.
So if you are asking yourself “can I find love”, I would tell you this: if you want to find love, find those first three things of course, but don't stop there. Also look for someone with a generous heart. Avoid people who are chronically selfish. Selfishness is what breaks everything I just wrote about. Every relationship that ends can be traced to an act of selfishness on one or both parties. Find someone who has your best interest at heart. And if you find yourself wanting to act in their best interest out of desire, then you have something. If you have two people doing that – in balance – that’s what enables a healthy relationship that can last.
Peace.
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05-16-2018, 11:40 PM
#48
Great post Louder. The selflessness is a common trait I've seen in enduring, long-term relationships.
It's an advanced level of care where as you said, even when you're angry, you do things in your significant other's best interest. It truly is one of the most difficult things.
I have a lot more room to grow and mature. Plus I really know what to look for more that it's been expressed in a definitive way (I'm dense like that)
It's an advanced level of care where as you said, even when you're angry, you do things in your significant other's best interest. It truly is one of the most difficult things.
I have a lot more room to grow and mature. Plus I really know what to look for more that it's been expressed in a definitive way (I'm dense like that)
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05-25-2018, 09:48 AM
#49
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
@PortlandRL
You alive breh? Welfare check. You found agirl and busy having sexy time, we understand. 
You alive breh? Welfare check. You found a
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PortlandRL (06-01-2018)
06-01-2018, 03:25 AM
#50
Evil Mazda Driver
Thread Starter
EDIT: I came to this realization after meeting a fun, pretty and intelligent woman in my English Comp class last semester. I was gonna do it, told myself I was going to do it....couldn't do it and blew my opportunity. I swore I wouldn't let it happen again.
The other side of my dating coin is that I'm in the wrong city. Dating in Portland is fine if you're the kind of guy who wears Capris, has thick rimmed glasses, wears a Macklemore haircut and attended every Bernie rally. Not so much for quiet, almost apolitical Libertarians. That's not saying I haven't stopped looking but it certainly puts a limit on who's on the market at any given moment.
@PortlandRL
You alive breh? Welfare check. You found agirl and busy having sexy time, we understand.
You alive breh? Welfare check. You found a
Thanks brother.
Last edited by PortlandRL; 06-01-2018 at 03:32 AM.
06-01-2018, 08:27 AM
#51
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by PortlandRL
The other side of my dating coin is that I'm in the wrong city. Dating in Portland is fine if you're the kind of guy who wears Capris, has thick rimmed glasses, wears a Macklemore haircut and attended every Bernie rally. Not so much for quiet, almost apolitical Libertarians. That's not saying I haven't stopped looking but it certainly puts a limit on who's on the market at any given moment.
06-01-2018, 08:38 AM
#52
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
Thanks, man! It took me a long time to get to this point but I have finally admitted to myself that a big part of my problem is that I suffer from dating anxiety...and it's not a mild form. It's absolutely crippling. When I was younger and before this got as bad as it has, I used to worry that girls would say 'no' to me asking them out. Now I worry that they'll say yes. What if it doesn't work out? What if she turns out to be a psycho? What if, what if, what if? I get so bogged down in the fucking 'what if' negatives that I don't ever see the 'what if' positives. I had a brief relationship with an amazing woman some time ago and when that didn't work out, I figured it was all me. I thought I was at fault, that it meant I was undatable. I only recently came to the realization that sometimes....duh....it just doesn't work out. But despite this, years of trying to push past 'what if' barrier have not helped so I'm going to start seeing a psychologist who specializes in this sort of thing.
EDIT: I came to this realization after meeting a fun, pretty and intelligent woman in my English Comp class last semester. I was gonna do it, told myself I was going to do it....couldn't do it and blew my opportunity. I swore I wouldn't let it happen again.
The other side of my dating coin is that I'm in the wrong city. Dating in Portland is fine if you're the kind of guy who wears Capris, has thick rimmed glasses, wears a Macklemore haircut and attended every Bernie rally. Not so much for quiet, almost apolitical Libertarians. That's not saying I haven't stopped looking but it certainly puts a limit on who's on the market at any given moment.
EDIT: I came to this realization after meeting a fun, pretty and intelligent woman in my English Comp class last semester. I was gonna do it, told myself I was going to do it....couldn't do it and blew my opportunity. I swore I wouldn't let it happen again.
The other side of my dating coin is that I'm in the wrong city. Dating in Portland is fine if you're the kind of guy who wears Capris, has thick rimmed glasses, wears a Macklemore haircut and attended every Bernie rally. Not so much for quiet, almost apolitical Libertarians. That's not saying I haven't stopped looking but it certainly puts a limit on who's on the market at any given moment.
As for Portland - consider that as the counseling starts to help your perception of what's around you might also change. You'll start seeing what you never knew was there.
Best of luck to you!
06-01-2018, 10:23 AM
#53
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Hell yeah, I'm sure there are libertarian meetups in Portland.
Probably real conservative types but real liberal in the sheets.
Probably real conservative types but real liberal in the sheets.
06-01-2018, 10:46 AM
#55
once you get to a certain age (and you're damn close) you have to make it your job to get a woman... no more being casual about it.
Look at your life and decide where you want to be in five years relationship-wise, then go make it happen. Forget about your pride and your ego and worrying about what whoever might think, and just keep working toward the goal.
Look at your life and decide where you want to be in five years relationship-wise, then go make it happen. Forget about your pride and your ego and worrying about what whoever might think, and just keep working toward the goal.
06-01-2018, 12:27 PM
#56
If politics or religion are really that important to you, then so be it. But those are things I avoid bringing up or making a big deal out of.
Frankly, you are in the wrong area if you don't want the liberal millennial girls. Still, the moment you consider this disadvantageous to your dating success is the moment you handicap yourself. The mindset will drag you down.
Don't zone in on a specific type so much. Just meet girls and see how it goes. Even if you're not that interested in them, just look at it as practice.
If it doesn't work out, you become friends. Then you meet her friends, or if she thinks you're that cool she'll hook you up with somebody.
06-01-2018, 03:20 PM
#57
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Portland needs a wingman
Who's down to pound some vajjjj
Costco.. time for you to take a road trip
Guide Portland's cock
If all else fails, give him a blowie
TIA
Who's down to pound some vajjjj
Costco.. time for you to take a road trip
Guide Portland's cock
If all else fails, give him a blowie
TIA
06-01-2018, 03:58 PM
#58
Lift, eat well > gain testosterone and confidence > don't give a damn about little shit, just meet people and have a good time > vagene falls into lap
I'm pretty introverted. I have basically no game when it comes to talking to a girl I just met and am interested in.
Getting out there, meeting people in general (not just girls) and going to parties and events with people you get along with just increases your odds. It's a numbers game too.
Get your body fat % lower. When you get to the point that you admire your own jawline in the mirror instead of frowning at your beer belly, women will probably be doing the same.
Feeling sorry for yourself or getting desperate is the last thing you wanna do. Women can sense that shit. They can also tell when you don't give a fuck and want to have fun.
I'm pretty introverted. I have basically no game when it comes to talking to a girl I just met and am interested in.
Getting out there, meeting people in general (not just girls) and going to parties and events with people you get along with just increases your odds. It's a numbers game too.
Get your body fat % lower. When you get to the point that you admire your own jawline in the mirror instead of frowning at your beer belly, women will probably be doing the same.
Feeling sorry for yourself or getting desperate is the last thing you wanna do. Women can sense that shit. They can also tell when you don't give a fuck and want to have fun.
06-01-2018, 04:46 PM
#59
Team Owner
This. 100%. I've been picked up now 3 times... but I've also shed near 45 pounds of fat and put muscle on. I'm getting oh so close to solid washboard abs and by golly, is it ever a confidence boost. Stand up straight. Dress well. Get a haircut.
Look at Instagram for men's fashion ideas. Women love a man who knows how to dress. That, and it makes you feel like a million bucks... and people notice that energy.
Finally- make sure it's not you. By that I mean- is there anything about your personality that could be worked on? Are you lazy? Are you a bad texter? Are you terrible at talking (not saying being a pick up artist or smooth talker) and having conversations? Too clingy? Not clingy enough? Why did your previous relationships fail? What could you have hypothetically done different to save those relationships? There has to be something. Focus on that and look to improve that before you fall into the same pattern again, and end up with the same result.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome at the end
Getting out there, meeting people in general (not just girls) and going to parties and events with people you get along with just increases your odds. It's a numbers game too.
Get your body fat % lower. When you get to the point that you admire your own jawline in the mirror instead of frowning at your beer belly, women will probably be doing the same.
Get your body fat % lower. When you get to the point that you admire your own jawline in the mirror instead of frowning at your beer belly, women will probably be doing the same.
In addition... DO NOT go out with the intention of finding someone. You'll fail immediately. Go out with the intention of meeting just friends, nothing more. Male or Female. Go out with the intention to just have fun. Nothing more. These people are your new starting point (assuming the girls you meet are no good/taken/not up to what you want/whatever). Make friends. The best relationship starts are the ones through friends. Even if you start jiving with a girl... take it easy.. play it slow.
I had the issue of meeting new people after my split. All my friends are already married, and most have kids, or if not, kids are on the way. These friends couldn't expand on my people circle anymore, so I started looking else where... but where?! I dunno if it's popular down in Portland, but up here, there's a website called meetup.com. People form random groups for random stuff and just be adventurous and get out there. There are groups like "people in their 20s looking to go for beer and wings", etc. Such an easy way to meet new folk. Sitting idle will net you nothing though. It was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone, but man, it resulted in me finding some potential business partners (meeting them on Saturday, actually) and some new friends.
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Costco (06-01-2018)
06-01-2018, 06:34 PM
#60
Glad I'm not the only one.
I had a problem with not taking care of myself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sounds cheesy, but only once you love yourself can you love somebody else.
I had a problem with not taking care of myself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sounds cheesy, but only once you love yourself can you love somebody else.
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TacoBello (06-05-2018)
06-01-2018, 08:20 PM
#61
Senior Moderator
That sentence reads completely different if you use “greater than” instead of “leads to”.
06-01-2018, 08:22 PM
#62
Senior Moderator
Like, is this an insult or gay?
me > you
06-03-2018, 02:48 PM
#63
Are you making a pass at me?
06-03-2018, 03:09 PM
#64
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Clueless Costco
ForeverAlone.png
ForeverAlone.png
06-03-2018, 03:09 PM
#65
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
06-03-2018, 03:11 PM
#66
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
That's why I'm an asshole 24/7
Don't want to send out the wrong vibes
Don't want to send out the wrong vibes
06-03-2018, 03:40 PM
#67
I'm not a slut I swear 
I only (used to) postwhore
I only (used to) postwhore
06-05-2018, 11:19 AM
#69
Team Owner
It's easy to blame the shit around us... Taking accountability, though.... Shiiiet... That's a whole other ball game.
You don't have bad luck with ladies because of everything around you. You have bad luck with ladies because of you.
The question is- why is it "because of you"?
You don't have bad luck with ladies because of everything around you. You have bad luck with ladies because of you.
The question is- why is it "because of you"?
06-06-2018, 03:51 AM
#70
^
Ask not what women have to offer to you, ask what you have to offer to them. Being nice and smart don't really count. Considerate and successful on the other hand...
In those two years before my ex, when I was just having fun... I just hung out people who liked to party and go to music festivals and other social events. The girls I hooked up with, I met through mutual friends.
"Festivals are way too hot/this music sucks/I hate crowds/I spent $100 for this shit?" I don't care man, get your mind and body right and just sack up.
No, I don't have game. I can't dance for shit. But when a girl seemed to hover around me Iswayed with the music danced with her or just joined a group conversation she was in. Sooner or later my arm is around her and I can't remember how. Quit analyzing things in the moment and just make a move.
I've gotten my heart broken from what started as a fling. I've dated batshit crazy. I dated a girl who was just my type, physically and interest wise and we just had no chemistry. No ragrets. Won't learn anything if you don't make mistakes.
Ask not what women have to offer to you, ask what you have to offer to them. Being nice and smart don't really count. Considerate and successful on the other hand...In those two years before my ex, when I was just having fun... I just hung out people who liked to party and go to music festivals and other social events. The girls I hooked up with, I met through mutual friends.
"Festivals are way too hot/this music sucks/I hate crowds/I spent $100 for this shit?" I don't care man, get your mind and body right and just sack up.
No, I don't have game. I can't dance for shit. But when a girl seemed to hover around me I
I've gotten my heart broken from what started as a fling. I've dated batshit crazy. I dated a girl who was just my type, physically and interest wise and we just had no chemistry. No ragrets. Won't learn anything if you don't make mistakes.
Last edited by Costco; 06-06-2018 at 03:53 AM.
08-07-2018, 10:35 PM
#72
Evil Mazda Driver
Thread Starter
Well some of you said it here and I've had friends tell me the same thing but more often than not, somebody will fall into your life when you least expect it. And that is what has happened with me.
Per some of your recommendations, I've been putting myself out there, hanging out with coworkers after work to socialize more and get out of my rut. I even said yes to a blind date just to get back into the swing of things. And even though that blind date didn't work out, it did wonders to help my anxiety. It made me see that I was making mountains out of molehills and reminded me of how much fun I can have when I get past the initial hurdle of meeting somebody new, relax and just be myself. I know some of you think I'm not a happy person and I'm looking for somebody to 'fix me' but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know who I am and I'm very comfortable with me, always have been, but I know what I like and I'm willing to hold out for the right person.
One of the women I was hanging out with after work is a relatively new driver. She's been with us only about six months and I must admit she caught my eye when she first started but I swore up and down I'd never date a coworker. Long story short, we started talking and after a month or so, things started taking a turn towards a more romantic tone. She agreed to go out sometime which we did for the first time last Wednesday. The date went very, very well and when I brought her back to her car, we sat in the parking lot and talked for another half an hour. She'd told me several times via text that she 'liked me' but I figured I was just bound for the friend zone. But I had to see what was up. I finally told her I didn't know what she wanted out of the relationship but so long as we kept it strictly professional at work, I'd be down to see where it takes us and she agreed. In the past week we've gone to lunch, hung out after work (with others and alone) and texted the screens off our phones and we both really like each other. In addition to spending time together, we're trying to schedule time in our schedules to hit the gym so we can both get into the shape we want to be in.
Things have not gotten physical yet but they are moving in that direction. She's recently divorced and is taking things slow which is fine with me. I love being with her, learning about her and about myself and I know it sounds corny but she makes me want to be a better man...a better version of myself. And unlike last time, I'm not making this a 'do or die' effort. I'm going to do my best to make it work without forcing it because love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
You can rail me for dating a coworker, you can tell me whatever you think might be what I'm doing wrong but what we're doing right now is, so far, working for us and I'm the happiest I've been in years.
Per some of your recommendations, I've been putting myself out there, hanging out with coworkers after work to socialize more and get out of my rut. I even said yes to a blind date just to get back into the swing of things. And even though that blind date didn't work out, it did wonders to help my anxiety. It made me see that I was making mountains out of molehills and reminded me of how much fun I can have when I get past the initial hurdle of meeting somebody new, relax and just be myself. I know some of you think I'm not a happy person and I'm looking for somebody to 'fix me' but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know who I am and I'm very comfortable with me, always have been, but I know what I like and I'm willing to hold out for the right person.
One of the women I was hanging out with after work is a relatively new driver. She's been with us only about six months and I must admit she caught my eye when she first started but I swore up and down I'd never date a coworker. Long story short, we started talking and after a month or so, things started taking a turn towards a more romantic tone. She agreed to go out sometime which we did for the first time last Wednesday. The date went very, very well and when I brought her back to her car, we sat in the parking lot and talked for another half an hour. She'd told me several times via text that she 'liked me' but I figured I was just bound for the friend zone. But I had to see what was up. I finally told her I didn't know what she wanted out of the relationship but so long as we kept it strictly professional at work, I'd be down to see where it takes us and she agreed. In the past week we've gone to lunch, hung out after work (with others and alone) and texted the screens off our phones and we both really like each other. In addition to spending time together, we're trying to schedule time in our schedules to hit the gym so we can both get into the shape we want to be in.
Things have not gotten physical yet but they are moving in that direction. She's recently divorced and is taking things slow which is fine with me. I love being with her, learning about her and about myself and I know it sounds corny but she makes me want to be a better man...a better version of myself. And unlike last time, I'm not making this a 'do or die' effort. I'm going to do my best to make it work without forcing it because love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
You can rail me for dating a coworker, you can tell me whatever you think might be what I'm doing wrong but what we're doing right now is, so far, working for us and I'm the happiest I've been in years.
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08-07-2018, 10:38 PM
#73
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
Congrats!
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1StGenCL (08-24-2018),
PortlandRL (08-07-2018)
08-07-2018, 11:08 PM
#74
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
08-07-2018, 11:09 PM
#75
Senior Moderator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Better Neighborhood, Arizona
Posts: 45,634
Received 2,328 Likes
on
1,308 Posts
08-07-2018, 11:10 PM
#76
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
All the best Andrew!
Coworker rule applies in the office, not on the road.
She'll likely give you a BJ for starters
Enjoy it -Majofo
Coworker rule applies in the office, not on the road.
She'll likely give you a BJ for starters
Enjoy it -Majofo
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EvilVirus (07-10-2019),
PortlandRL (08-10-2018)
08-07-2018, 11:31 PM
#77
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
08-08-2018, 08:27 AM
#78
Senior Moderator
There’s a reason they’re called your better half. Nothing corny about that.
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PortlandRL (08-10-2018)
08-08-2018, 11:55 AM
#79
Team Owner
I've been told numerous times "Don't eat where you $hit."
Mixing relationships with work is a dangerous proposition. Ask me how I know... a mistake I made when I was about 23 or 24. And no matter how much you agree to be professional if stuff doesn't work out, etc., there are moments where limits get seriously tested...
I sincerely wish you the best and hope it does work out for you, but if it doesn't... oh man... I hope one of you is planning on finding a new place to work. My case was relatively mild as compared to some others I've heard of... and they all happened more or less the same. Everyone is high on the feels, everything is great and gravy, etc... until it wasn't. And then it got sloppy. Mine stayed fairly okay because our employer was against people dating/hooking up if they were on the same project, so we kept ours under wraps... though everyone suspected something was up but they had no proof.
But hey, at the end of the day you'll either find yourself with a life partner, or another lesson well learned. Both can be positives, if you look at them from the right perspective.
Mixing relationships with work is a dangerous proposition. Ask me how I know... a mistake I made when I was about 23 or 24. And no matter how much you agree to be professional if stuff doesn't work out, etc., there are moments where limits get seriously tested...
I sincerely wish you the best and hope it does work out for you, but if it doesn't... oh man... I hope one of you is planning on finding a new place to work. My case was relatively mild as compared to some others I've heard of... and they all happened more or less the same. Everyone is high on the feels, everything is great and gravy, etc... until it wasn't. And then it got sloppy. Mine stayed fairly okay because our employer was against people dating/hooking up if they were on the same project, so we kept ours under wraps... though everyone suspected something was up but they had no proof.
But hey, at the end of the day you'll either find yourself with a life partner, or another lesson well learned. Both can be positives, if you look at them from the right perspective.
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EvilVirus (07-10-2019)
08-08-2018, 02:05 PM
#80
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
wtf Taco, he has enough anxiety as it is
let him get his dick wet first you ninny
Shit
let him get his dick wet first you ninny
Shit