Well I'm getting fed up because this one kid that used to go to our school who was friends with my g/f got real werid. He seems like he is obsessed with her. He now calls her at least once every day, he sent a tshirt in the mail with a 3 letter note saying how he feels like he has such a good friend and how lucky he is to have such a great friend, then in the end states that I shouldnt be worried about the note and he is just friends with my g/f. Whats weird is my g/f isnt even that friendly with him or spoke with him soo much, but he now calls her every day and late in the morning too sometimes like 1-2am. The kid isnt anything great and my g/f is the best, I know nothing would ever go on between them.

The issue that I am having is I feel like I am (only guy) the only one who has the right to call up my g/f whenever I want and at whatever time I want. With him calling every day and stuff it feels to me like he thinks she belongs to him and thats where I have a problem. I've told my g/f to tell him that he is scaring her and to call maybe 1-2 a week. She complies, but she never does tell him this, so that doesn't make me happy at all. And now whenver I tell her I dont like him calling so often she blows it off and pretends she has no time to talk about it. It really is becoming frustrating.

Do I have a right to be upset?

 

i feel ya brother... beat his ass up.. fucking er

 

Yes you do, he is playing the bench.
Put it this way I have around 20 female friends (all from high school) that I keep in touch with now and then. I would never call them every day and usually only call if I want something or if we are making some sort of plans. Never had any problems with boyfriends or anything and usually become friends with them

That dude is playing the bench waiting for you to slip up, NO dude talks to his female friends that much unless she hangs out with him and they are making plans OR he likes her.

I say your girl should be the one to nip this in the butt.

 

I always thought it was nip it in the bud.

 

prolly is

 

Put an end to it now. And you really need to make sure that all that is going on there is phone calls.

 

um, this is your gf's problem, not yours. The guy isn't stalking you on dates isn't sending you poison pen letters - just has a mild obsessional view of your girlfriend. Telling her how to handle it just means that she has two controlling men in her life, and the chances are she may tell both of you to go pound sand....... She may not like confrontation, she may not know how to handle it, but telling her what to do ain't gonna accomplish much at all.

If you're confident of your gf's feelings for you and yours for her, let it go. This guy is just a neurotic little twerp hanging onto the edge and, as noted, may be playing the bench, waiting for you to slip. By trying to control your gf's response, you're letting him know he has an impact. I'd try for practiced indifference.

 

Talk to your girl, make her talk to the guy. If he doesn't stop, then you get involved.

 

Kick him in the junkz

 

tell him to scram!

 

Dude you have so many problems with this girl...

 

or unless he's :ghey:
But I guess if he was he should be like me and assure the boyfriend of that. So yeah, my bet is that it's a case of obsessed loser who feels like she's slipping away from him because he was too scared to bang her before she started going out with another guy.

 

dood, based on your posts and the ones that you post and then decide to delete, i think you're the obsessed one. I think that you need to step back, and figure out what is your life, and what is hers. As an outsider it seems that you are jealous, and having a hard time dealing with the larger pool of fish around your woman at school. Behaviour like you're describing is perfectly normal, and I feel the way you're dealing with it is unhealthy and self destructive.
You need to just remember she's with you because she wants to be with you. if there's any real doubt about her feelings, then protect yourself, communicate and if answers aren't forthcoming, get out of the relationship before it really hurts you.

 

Astro, although i do agree with you, its only human nature to feel what hes feeling.

He feels as if his GF is HIS, he dosent want other guys calling her at 2 am, i encourted the same thing.

It's one thing if the guy calls at 5 in the afternoon, but hes not.

And he claims "i know u have a BF, and were just friends", but thats BS , as all of us guys know, way hes describing the kid, hed hop all over it in a second if renegade and his wife took a break.

Ya i think ur in the right to be annoyed/upset, id recommend just explaning to your girl, and asking her if shed like it some girl was calling you at 2 in the morning everynight.

 

He doesn't deserve to call your girl in the middle of the night... that's wrong on his part, and your girl should ignore it. but i mean otherwise if she hasn't left you for him yet then it prolly wont happen. but be honest with her just don't keep bringing it up after that.

 

You're right to be mad, but you shouldnt be worried about your g\f hooking up with him, because if that were the case, you would have known about it. What you should do is pay him a little visit with a couple of your friends and have a few words with him. You know...make him understand a little bit better. I would also threaten his life after that "chat".

 

nobodies girlfriend is their property. they can have calls and make calls to whomever they please.

 

That doesn't make it right to be possessive. When another guy moves in on your girl, it is up to HER and her alone to resist his advances (unless he's being physically forceful/blackmailing her). The problem is with her, regardless of the other guy. If she goes along with his advances, then that says something about her and what she's like.

 

But what if the guy doesnt get the point ? Then other forms of persuasion are needed.

 

If the girl has CLEARLY and UNAMBIGUOUSLY told him that even if she broke up with her boyfriend, she STILL wouldn't go out with him, and that he needs to stop calling so often, and he doesn't listen, THEN it's okay to have a talk with him yourself.

 

My point exactly

 

I mean to have a civil talk. It shouldn't have to get physical. It's best to keep your cool. Even though you might feel angry, you should come across as though you aren't. Ask him straight out why he's calling so often, and if he's such a good friend of your gf's, that maybe you should all hang out together (this will keep things from getting too private between them). If he REALLY is a true friend of hers and they actually do talk that much, then he'll be interested in being friends with you. If he gets all annoyed and evasive, start suspecting something.

 

Have her do her thing (to a certain extent of course) and embrace the challenges of your relationship.

Sometimes you have to learn and let go of the things that bother you, because there are lots of things you miss when you're blinded by petty things like this.

 

Well its not really petty if the guy doesnt give up...then its a problem.

 

Yes you do. She is severely disrespecting you.

She really should know better that this isn't acceptable behavior. No relationship no matter how strong can survive when a thrid party is actively working against it (and that's what he's doing...playing the friend angle while slowly chipping away at you guys...it works like a champ). That fact is actually well documented.

 

The girl should have the respect to tell the guy off, and understand it from your POV. Fuck, if some girl kept calling me every night at 3am, my GF would be fuming, but of course id say "dont worry id never do anything" , but shed still be pissed off.

At that point, id understand , and tell the girl to stop calling me.

 

that's the point.

respect.

If I actually respected my wife/GF I would tell any other female calling me all the time "hey, look...I'm happily involved/married. Please stop calling me."

I've done it numerous times...stealing another man's wife/girlfriend. If she doesn't say stop that means I have the green flag. I mean from my point of view why else is she is she allowing me to call her and talk to her about her feelings...especially her feelings about her guy if she isn't interested? All I gotta do is tell her what she wants to hear and in no time I'm bangin'. Its just so dang easy that maybe I should be ashamed. But I'm not...I want her and I will have her.

 

You know I'm usually the first one to tell people to kick the disrespecting bitch to the curb, but I don't think this is a case of that. From the sound of what you describe, the girlfriend has ZERO interest in him. By blowing this thing out of proportion, you are making it into an issue where there really was none. Also, you don't have the only right to call your girlfriend. As someone said, it's not your problem, but your GF's problem. If she didn't want to take the calls, she won't.

The only thing you should have said to her was that you noticed this guy calls her all the time and you trust your GF, but if it bothers HER, then let you know. There's nothing you can do other than that. My guess is that your GF likes the fact that it makes you jealous because it's a means of her controlling you.

I'm not loving the controlling aspect of her actions but it's pretty typical of girls. Girls will always test you, mostly just to learn about you. Just don't mess it up by failing the test and overreacting or letting her know that she's got your wrapped around her finger.

 

dude im just her friend man stop tripping, whenever you fuck up im gonna be there to lend her a shoulder to cry on and a nice hard dick to suck