98CLChick

I know that nobody likes reading life stories, so I will try and make this short and sweet.

Little background on the boyfriend:
- 4 years older than me
- lives with parents
- hasn't graduated college (took 1 class this semester)
- has a job, doesn't always work
- been with him for a year and a half now

Anyways, up until recently, the bf was a drunk fool who went through a few cases a week by himself. Used alcohol as an excuse for everything (he cheated on me and used the "I was so drunk" line).

So he decides to he realizes that he is getting himself nowhere by drinking himself stupid every day. Decides to cut back, then goes out drinking the next weekend, gets pulled over and gets a dui (not the first time he's been arrested since I've known him). I don't trust him driving when we go out because I don't know if he's been drinking.

My parents absolutely can't stand him. My dad thinks that I am too motivated and good to be with someone who if getting himself nowhere. I am trying so hard with school and work, because I want to move the f*ck outta MI, and transfer schools. Dealing with my boyfriends bullsh*t makes life that much harder. The bad part is that I'm in love with him.

What do I do?!?!

thatguy

dump him. no use in trying to help someone who CAN and WONT help himself...

Ken1997TL

Sounds like he's holding you back, doesnt respect you and you cant trust him.

Drop him like the bad habit he is.

Ron Burgundy

get him outta here....unless u like being w/ a loser/trouble/misguided/going no where fast....he'll only pull you down....

Hobo

daddy knows best

UNCTYPE-S

sometimes sacrifices for yourself turn out to be for the better in the long run. He seems like he is getting in the way of what u want to accomplish, or atleast what he is doing is getting to your head. If you love him, thats gonna be rough, but you have to look at the big picture here. Will he really stop or cut down? Will he really show you he cares in the relationship and show you respect, and prove to be better, to make you happier?

just some things you should think about. I first off, would never take back a cheater, especially if it was alcohol related and that person is still heavy into the alcohol. Once a cheater, always a cheater in my book.

riddlerx09

why is it absolutely amazing girls end up with total assholes? not that your boyfriend is an asshole...just my bit of social commentary

i know about the whole ladder theory and what not, but it still doesnt make sense to me.

either way, i would agree. it definitely seems like he's holding you back and could be a detriment to your future





...i need a girl with low self-esteem

sasha

Leave him. He needs to find himself first before he can be in a relationship.

98CLChick

He *says* that is trying to become better. Told me 3 weeks ago that he was gonna cut down on the drinking big time. 2 weeks later, calls me on a fri night drunk, come pick me up. Next night gets the dui. His actions seem to be contradicting his words. He tells me that he trying to change for himself and me, but a month doesn't really make up for the past year. I'm so confused.

UNCTYPE-S

so over the past year he hasnt changed, and tried to prove to you the last month, and it backfired?.........i wouldnt waste my time. I would be better off alone.

not to mention, with the drinking problem he sounds like he could be a little controlling if you were to ever date someone else, creating more drama/disaster.

Sarlacc

Sounds like you should have ended things long ago.

Hes telling you he wants to/trying to change because he knows that what you want to hear. Its whats going to keep you sticking around.

If he was serious about doing something then he would have sought professional help for his apparent alcoholism.

As mentioned here already, once a cheater...always a cheater.

TSX 'R' US

you're too good for him.... dump his ass...
he cheated on you...dump his ass
sounds like alcohol is his #1... IMO.. Dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass
he cheated on you...dump his ass

sasha

Can you fully trust someone who cheated on you? Can you honestly see yourself with someone irresponsible and lacking in drive to succeed? Do you really believe that he can still change?

In the end, it's all up to you. You need to figure out your limits. If I were in your shoes, I would want to be with someone who possesses traits that I truly admire.

UNCTYPE-S

i know its easier said then done, but u have to think about yourself on this one, and not him........let him go into the wall of fire, while you drift away into the sunset.

if you need anything, my IM is "unctypes".

Teh Jatt

dumppppppppppppppppppp him




























and i'm available

Junkster

eesh, your one of those nice gals that have it in for the bad boys, aren't ya?

Well, from what I've seen, it takes something that just crosses the line for a girl to let go of a bad boy... I think you're almost to the 'snapping' point where you're just gonna blow up in his face.

Character flaws are one thing, but multi DUIs and being stupid is where you have to draw the line.

Of course I'm gonna say dump 'em, but he'll push you to that point... believe me.

Junkster, who hates destructive relationships that are hard to let go

darrinb

i say give it some more time and try to work it out

Junkster

Are you her bf?



Junkster, who thinks she should wait for the right time to dump his arse

FunkeeTown

yeah dump the guy. i had a gf like that recently...don't make me copy and paste that story... he's clipping your wings. you need to fly on your own for a while. i know being on your own sucks but if you have great friends you'll make it through just fine. you mentioned getting out of state...that is gonna make it even harder to maintain a bad relationship when ya'll are so far away from eachother. more cheating, lying, drinking...i say go baby girl, leave.

CrockPot

you know what my thoughts are...

https://acurazine.com/forums/showthr...=1#post2231630

pgatour1

oh yeah you won't get any bias answers here

GeishaGirl

You should probably let it go, haven't really heard any positives about this guy It may be hard in the beginning but hopefully you'll find someone much better suited for a healthy relationship. Even if he says hes going to change, actions speak much louder than words. You don't need someone who is going to drag you down and cheat on you.

SG81

iTrader: (1)

don't stay with a cheater

GoDucksCLSPride

There is little left to say that hasnt already been said. Although, our bias or not, the objective reality is you are in a relationship that you will have to compromise your integrity to sustain.

You are a georgious girl with a cute personality as we can all atest. You should know you deserve better and you should know you can find it.

The only thing left to say is, when will you let yourself have it?

oh, one more rant:
[withouts sounding like a sappy psychologist. How you like to be loved is a whole nother can of worms you might want to figure out when/if you get free from him. You are in love with a man that doesnt respect your commitment, your safety, his future, himself or you. Im sure he has his finer points or you wouldnt be in love with him. However, you just described enough compelling flaws to make it unhealthy for you be in love with a man like that. to finding a healthy relationship]
end rant

Vector02

Trust me, no you don't.....lol. I've been there. Girlfriends with low self esteem are my own personal hell. Yeah, they' do anything for you, but they are leachy, overbearing, unconfident, easily emotionally distraught.....and the list goes on. Trust me, you want nothing to do with a girl with real low self esteem.

95gt

Damn 98cl quite a catch there

Just imagine if someone else had posted this thread and you read exactly what you had written in the first thread. What would your answer have been?

thought so

1killercls

he is a ...move on.

joeshmoe

Honestly, how do losers like this hold a steady girlfriend for over a year.

I think 95gt put it best.....

mrsteve

iTrader: (1)

Dump him

Waddy

It seems to me like you already know what you need to do.

I mean you have basically described a trailer park loser to us. Why do you even think that you "love" this guy? What are his positives, because from here it seems like he has very few.

wipe0ut

my first thought was to suggest you dump him.

but then i tried to think of things from his perspective. you are a strong successful woman. you are doing things with your life. maybe he sees himself as a loser and just drinks because thats the way he sees things. i dunno.

if you love him maybe you shoud try harder to help him. im sure once you leave he will get worse. not better.

but...you have to draw a line somewhere. maybe it is time to move on.

Scrib

dump his ass, seabass

Doc.Booty

Or he will go "wow, i fucked up big time" and either stop or get some help in that direction. Remember, the only person who can help an addict is himself, the most anyone else can do is give them a wake up call, and dumping him is probably the biggest one he'll get.

You're 20. You don't need a cheating alcoholic in your life.

rise

This should be made into a poll.
DUMP HIM.
I basically agree with what everyone has already said

wipe0ut

yeah but we all know thats not gonna happen.

patsmere

Well as some of the others say
He did cheat on you so that is major grounds for leaving also too it sounds like that he doesnt want to change. Remember Men come and go but and education is alway here to stay.

wipe0ut

i think if she didn't really love him, she wouldn't be posting this...she would have dumped him already.

so she must see something in this guy besides the bad stuff she posted.

rise

Dump him, tell him that if he still wants to be with you, that he should get his act together, THEN come back.

Just get yourself away from him and concentrate on yourself for awhile.

soopa

or she's just attached... comfortable.

mc_yanzo

Maybe he has a big wang?