I doubt I'm the only one but has anyone met a friend of their S/O and started developing a small crush on that person? Yeah sure there's always the "he/she is cute, i'd hookup if I were single just for the hell of it," but I'm talkin more of a crush. I've met all my girl's friends several times over and they're all decent looking, cool to hang with etc, but the last one i met for the first time last weekend sparked a little more.

Maybe it was her being on the rebound and all the half-serious 3some talk or drunken triple-kissing and the 2 of them making out and me and the friend making out. (Saying everyone was pretty would be an understatement). But I've done that w/ other girls and not started liking them right away. Plus even throughout the weekend she gave me a little more attention than friends i'd met previously had given. She yelled "get married!/you guys are so cute" about 50 times. She doesn't know the half of it, and I know she's still torn between her ex and being single.

So enough about that; I've noticed the friend has several traits I look for in females that my girl cannot claim:

-Smart (just started an accounting job)
-Pursues knowledge (reads/watches news)
-Politically moderate/open-minded.....my girl is so far biased i don't even talk about politics with her because I already know her opinion on the issue.
-Runs/exercises with body to show for it...maybe if my girl hadn't put on 30 lbs since I met her none of this other stuff would matter to me, who knows?
-Not spoiled....probably why she kept with exercise and part time jobs, where my girl gave them up "because she could" even if it means being broke all the time and gaining weight
-Never smokes...its tolerable now cuz my girl only does it when drunk but its still gross

Whew that's a lot of stuff. I know everyone can find something they don't like about their S/O, but this seems a bit excessive. She's onto me and knows i'm feelin her friend a bit, and i say im sorry its not really a choice. Plus I know if I got to know the ins and outs of the friend, I'm sure I could find a boatload of things to not like about her too.

So I guess I'm asking how can I just take the good with the bad and not wish my girlfriend was somebody she isn't and if others have been in the same situation and what came of it??

 

Hmm... yeah sometimes the grass is greener on the side. But I foresee a problem since she is the friend of your s/o. G'luck and let us know what happens.

 

Well it's not like I would actively pursue her, plus they both live near each other in PA, so that's pointless. It just makes me wonder, is this the right girl for me and should I just take the good with the bad, or should I go try to find someone more like the friend?

 

Never settle.

 

I think you're outgrowing your girl.

 

words spoken like a true pimp

 

That's easy to say. It's much harder to just "leave" someone physically if you have years of history together, financial accounts, kids, pets, etc... So unfortunately some of us settle because it's easier than breaking up. I bet at least 35% of the relationships going on right now is "settling."

Relationships like leasing a car: Do you finance long term (i.e. buy the vehicle) or do you lease the vehicle. Leasing gets you new poon every now and then, but you are stuck with said poontang until the lease is up and in the end you are left with nothing. But when you buy, it's the same ol' sh*t, but at least you have something in the end. Now and again you look at other cars on the road and wish you were driving that "car," but you know that your ACURA > most of those sub-$40K cars



It's called getting confortable when the fireworks is not as big as the first 6 months. Besides, why buy the milk when you have the cow at home? lol!

 

Dude you're 21, I would still be living it up if I could. I mean it seems alittle early to be thinking about settling down... maybe I'm just an idealistic 17 yearold , but still...

 

So are these the thought processes of mediocre people?

 

you're young, you're not completely happy with the girl you're with, and you find other girls interesting and are being emotionally affected.

all signs are pointing to either dumping your girl completely... doing the most noble of things and telling her you need to be off on your own for a while...

or...

you can do a Xeno and cheat on her with her friend and deal with the possible consequences of that

or...

you can stick to the girl you're with, indefinitely... and pass by all of these girls that catch your eye with no more than just some thoughts and frustrations that you vent on AZ

whatever makes you happy, that's all i'm saying

 

Best analogy I've heard in a LONG time!

 

meh, are you dating someone worth talking about?

 

Damn right! Ride 'em till the wheels fall off.

 

all i got out of it was she gained 30 lbs, its just gonna keep adding on brotha, get out now...

 

That's my philosophy. I buy my dick and keep 'im till he breaks on me. Or at least I try. When you break up, it's like having a lemon...she was great when you got her, but now you have to file for a lemon law and the dealer has to take her back.

 

Do you think athletic women's "chocha" are tighter than the average non-athletic women (give same size, but not necessarily weight class)? Like female body builders?

 

Not necessarily (women tell me these things). A bodybuilder (like Chyna for example) will have THIGHS OF DOOM!, but she won't have a tight poontang if she's been fucking or dildoing a lot.

The only way to tighten it real good is to use Keagal exercises.

If women do them, they get tighter poons. If men do them, we can hold our shit in longer and make our dicks jump around more. So it's kinda useless for us (unless you're on the receiving end of anal sex and want to clamp down )

 

OK, I'm sorry I asked. Hahaha!

 

Only reason to date a bodybuilder chick is if you're into wrestling/being dominated/spanked/into muscles (which don't look good on women like they do on men)

 

Sorry about that. I'll answer the original question. I've never crushed on my SO's friends. They're all fugly or the wrong gender, so that makes it easy. But my best friend had it happen to him. He had a crush on his gf's friend. They ALMOST did stuff together, but he backed off. He was actually driving to her house, when he called me at 3AM, waking me up. I told him to NOT DO IT! I told him to get his ass to my house right away and we'd go for fast food and talk about it. He says that saved his relationship and now he's happy with his gf of three years.

 

Right now, no, I'm not dating anyone period. I hate dating, I think it's an uncomfortable chore. But I am having fun and sex with plenty of girls and I'm not complaining OR settling.

 

I guess we're all different. Some of us (like me) are all sexed out. I've experience all I want to sexually. Now I just want to settle down. I've almost got my degree, and I thought it was about time to find myself a keeper. I really hope this one is the one. And the sex is better than any hookup I've ever had. Come on, who can complain about sex twice a day?

 

You're 21 and you want to settle down? I don't want to settle down until I've achieved everything I want in a career. Don't you think 21 is a bit young? Are you sure you're sexed out? I don't think as a young man I could ever say those words... well, maybe RIGHT after I have sex, but in an hour it's like "OK, nevermind"

 

For me, there's not really much to achieve. I'll basically be doing seismic work/research my whole life. Not a lot to achieve there. I'll just get paid more and more every year, so then when does it end?

As for sexed out, I'm sure. I've been (safer-ly, is that even a word lol) with a lot of guys, but I still worried. I got tested 4 or 5 times (paranoid I know), came out negative each time, and then decided I was not going to make myself go insane with worry anymore, and that all these guys aren't much fun.
That's not my only reason for being sexed out either. I feel 1000000000 times more comfortable having (safer) sex with my bf than I do with just some dude. Besides, for me, I feel GROSS kissing a guy that I don't have strong feelings for. It feels so wrong. And I love kissing.

What I mean by sexed out is that I'm tired of multiple partners. I'm a ROMANTIC guy at heart. I love showing my man how I feel, and I like the thought of having him be my equal and infallible confidante for the rest of my life, and I'm not afraid that the sex will run dry, because we have the same amount of sex drive (ie: twice a day). That's what I'm looking for. I feel SO much better having my arms around someone, and having his strong arms around me when I sleep at night. I could never get tired of that. The second from last time he and I slept together, that's ALL that happened, was sleeping, and we were both cool with it, and fell asleep within 5 minutes of getting home and into bed, all wrapped up together. THAT'S what I'm talking about! I'm not saying that I'm getting bored of sex or becoming non-sexual. If I was, I'd be !

Now, maybe 21 is a bit young to want someone to be with forever...but that's what I want. I guess these are the strange ramblings of a hopeless romantic...sigh.

 

lol. ya, i have way too much soul-searching to do to even be in that sort of situation. i have this lack of understanding when it comes to trusting another person... i don't know where it stems from, but i think it's just that i haven't found a girl who could emotionally spark my interest like your bf can with you. maybe it'd be another story then, but i'd STILL not be in any rush to be in a monogamous relationship... till then, i'm content working, going to school and having fun... because i know that as soon as i do find a girl like that, a lot of things might change and THAT scares me too

 

That makes all the difference in the world. If someone is "just another person" to you, you'll never feel like I do. I hope that when you do find that, whenever that may be, that you don't go running just because you're afraid of change. That would be a huge shame. But if there isn't any girl that sparks you like that, then there isn't. You just have to keep trying girls until you meet THAT girl. And when you do, you WILL know it.

And for Mike97 3.0P...examine your feelings for your gf more closely. Imagine life without her. How much do you love her? Does she seem like she could be THAT girl?

 

PA huh

 

I don't really know if I could see myself for the rest of my life with her. I think I could at one time, but maybe not anymore. I don't think I would enjoy life without her at first, but I'm sure I could get over it after a while.

Side note- the friend is in chicago for some work thing and she IM's me out of the blue last night for the first time ever. (I'm guessing she got my SN off facebook or my comp, cuz i know nobody gave it to her). So she says she's about to head out but was just wasting time for a couple mins. So we bs for a a bit and she tells me she's taking my advice of "not dipping her pen in the company ink/not making her honey where she makes her money and that it'll be a lifelong struggle to do so." I ask if there's any hot guys there and she's like "none as hot as you, haha JOKE. Gotta go, bye!" So i'm thinkin Obviously this girl has no idea what to with herself now that she's single and/or is a big flirt and attention craver. I can see why girls on the rebound are good for 1 thing only.

I'm thinkin of not telling my gf this but i probably will end up doing so anyway.

 

Hey PA is a big state

 

People who talk in analogies should shampoo my crotch.

 

yeah i know, but not if you discount all of the shitty areas.

 

lol, why would you do that???

 

Cuz i'm stupid like that and when I drink I blurt out things that are better left unsaid. I know it should not be mentioned, if for no other reason so she doesn't get at odds with her friend. But I want to know if she's just a flirty attention seeker or if she's actually gettin wet for me in some way.

 

I will actually read this thread tomarrow...but look at these threads for guidance...

Dillema: Banging your "girlfriends" friend

How long will it take my g\f to break up with me

The Truth Is Coming Out at 1800 hrs

 

UPDATE: So I had a nice visit with the girl this weekend, except for the one conversation with her friend I overheard "so he doesn't know about you and tom?" So she denied that, and for the next 3 days denied and lied to me and said how mad she was bec i didn't trust her etc. So she finally gives in and tells what happened in a long email with all the "i hate myself i cant believe i did it, i love you blah blah yappity yappity. This is one of those cases where the lie is 100x worse than the offense (assuming all she did was make out for a few seconds). so long story short i said good luck with your next boyfriend.

Now im talking to the friend now and she's kinda in the same situation as me, but she's 2 hrs away. i'd like to hookup but it seems like a no go since she wants us to get back together. it never hurts to ask though, but i know timing is everything, but now kinda seems like a bad time...thoughts?

 

2 hours away...fuck that shit. Find someone local.

When you're young

Sex > Relationships

 

2 hrs away? You still in school? Sleep with her a few times maybe (likely, if she's really on the rebound), but not worth the hassle of dating an ex's friend. Now that you're single I'm willing to bet you'll find a new girl you like just as much as this one within your area code at least.

I'm willing to bet half the attraction was "she's my gf's friend and i can't have her so I want her" anyway. Do yourself a favor, go out, enjoy the long weekend, go to the bar and find a new fuckbuddy

 

Well I would never drive 2 hrs for a hookup, if she wanted to then fine but I am trying to clear my head and think for a bit.

with gas prices: finding someone local > finding someone far away

 

 

No I graduated, they live up there, i live down here, but I don't think she's into it. She keeps throwin jokes about 3somes around but just to "lighten the mood." So yes I will be doing what you say as far as bars, fuckbuddies, etc goes