My girlfriend and I have been together for almost four months...Things were great at first, and they still are...But i feel like we are in that stage of our relationship where we are REALLY getting to see eachothers twirks and irritations...Its past the floating on clouds stage and into the more "real" stage... We have fallen in love with eachother, and really care alot about eachter, but i know im guilty of overlook how she feels and only thinking about how i feel sometimes. Sometimes i feel as though we do not communicate effectively..we are both VERY stubborn people...and very much the same in many areas. Semester jsut ended, i did well, she didnt do so hot..shes been discourage for the last two weeks and is bringing that to the relationship table..i have tried countless times to be encouraging...i want her to grow individually, and in our relationship as well..

My question is..is this normal, its not a relationship threatening issue at this point, but i want us to both be on track 90% of the time, not 75 like it has been this week....we really had an off night last night, where everything we said to eachother came out all wrong, or was just interpretted wrong...

 

Cut her some slack. Especially if she's used to doing well in school, doing poorly is a crushing blow that she has to get over, and she has to get over it on her own timeframe. Take her out and go do something fun and exciting to get her mind off school. You do definately need to talk more though. Start talking about light things, then slowly divert the conversation to deeper things. And remember, never EVER be accusatory.

 

Take a deep breath, relax and have a nice dinner together with some quiet music, candle light, wine and "gasp" talk about what you just posted. She will be soooo happy that you fel the way you do and want the relationship to work better.

 

Good advice. Couldn't have put it better. If she is that "stubborn," as you put it, she is probably really pissed about school. You need to realize that you are not the reason she is upset. You may not be able to fix this. All you can do it distract her from it, and listen to her when she wants to talk about it. Don't push.

 

like the others said..

don't get discouraged because you guys are having a little bit of tension for a week. there are naturally going to be stressful times for either one of you, you guys just have to be able to put up with/support one another. give her some space, but let her know you're there for whatever she needs.

 

Underpaid, I managed to accidentally edit your post, then deleted the entire thing. Mod newbie here, and my apologies.

The attached is what I intended to attach to your post, concerning the success of your day on the beach with your gf.


although it's a cliche, long walks on the beach work - contemplation, reflection, etc. Sounds like she's discouraged because she didn't do as well as she expected. College isn't everyone's cuppa tea, and getting her to focus on course material that she might enjoy is half the struggle. School is rotten enough without focusing on course material that bores you. Shows up quickly in the grades......

Four months, by the way, is long enough for the first blush of romance to have worn off. You've seen each other at your best in "dating" circumstances, but you're now moving beyond that. There are bound to be less than "Cosmo" moments in any relationship that lasts past a few weeks. Sounds like what you did was right on the money.