I'd like to appologize in advance if this thread is depressing or sissy-like.

So like the title says i just cant seem to find the right one. I have gone out with a few girls in the past, hooked up with a few, but now i want something more than just a physical relathionship. I know im only 19 and its a little early to want more in a female than sex, but i just feel like a loving,kind,funny and compatable girl is missing from my life. I have friends who have had steady girlfriends for a few months at most, but the base of their relathionships were about 75% physical. I've always just wanted a female companion to have fun with, and to talk to and to be there for me through the good times and the bad times. (Sorry if this is starting to sound a little depressing or bitch-like) Ive just never met a girl who i was compatable with, none of them ever had my taste in music, movies, hobbies or anything else. They were always completely opposite of me and my personality and I just wanna drop all the bullshit and find someone that completes me and that makes me happy and that makes me feel whole.

Anyways can anyone male or female on AZ give me any advice??? Thnx in advance

 

One will come along eventually, just be patient. Just start looking for someone you really like and have a lot in common with. Start as friends and progress from there. After all, there is nothing better than being with your best friend for the rest of your life.

 

I don't think there's any other advise that can be better than what CL Slick just said without getting to know more about you and your personality....

i.e what is it about you that makes you not click with these girls that come your way....

i.e.2 what kind of girls do you typically date etc...

i.e.3 what things do you like and look for in the girls you typically pick?? What would you like to see different next time etc.....

 

let fate be the playmaker in your life. be patient and you'll meet her.

one thing to note is that opposites do attract so don't let the "right one" slip away..

 

Grow a penis.



Just be patient. Like you said, you are 19. I actually find it admirable that you are looking for more than just sex in a woman. Most of us wait til we are overweight, old or balding before we do that.

Maybe the problem is that you are dating immature girls. Where are you meeting the girls you date? Like Slick said, maybe meeting someone as friends and having a relationship from that base is the better way to go. And next time you are in a relationship, or meet someone, wait before you get physical.

By the way, are you in Hackensack? I lived there for a couple years back in 97 to 99.

 

I mostly meet girls at parties or from friends. And i do think that my problem is that all my previous relathionships started out physical and because it was never about her personality it never grew into an emotional relathionship.

And yeah i do live in Hackensack. REPRESENTIN!!!

 

If you really want to up your chances of meeting someone you have at least something in common with, get involved with lots of clubs, hobbies, extra curricular activities that interest you. You're likely to find at least a few women there, who will be there because they share that interest too. ....Easiest starting point.

 

 

Lots of very good advice so far! +1 for RaviNJCLs and SS. Not much to add - other than it's not "sissy-like" to feel this way. In fact, it's a fairly mature outlook IMO. I met my wife just after I turned 20, right about the time my thinking started to shift like yours. Now that you've shifted what it is you're looking for, you'll start to notice them. Many are probably right in front of you already, but sometimes we don't "see" them if they are not what we're looking for.

 

Stop looking so hard. I know it sounds cliche to say you'll find what you're looking for when you aren't actually looking, but it's so true. Just put yourself out there with different clubs and activities like others have mentioned and you'll find you click with someone when you least expect it. Good luck.

 

That's because you're looking for her. Also, wtf? You're only 20. Jesus. Find your nut sack and have fun.

 

^^^werd. Go to school and find one over there. i would say like 50% or more people find there "one" in school.

 

School may or may not work for you. Most girls tend to date either with their class or up a class. I just never saw a lot of seniors dating freshmen when I was in college. Maybe a senior dating a junior, but that was it.

I think a clubs or extra curricular activity group may be best. I'm not saying that club can't be at your college.

Unfortunately at your age most older or more mature women looking for a real relationship will just view you as a 19 year old kid with sex on his mind and not someone looking for a relationship unless they get to know you.

 

I know where my nutsack is. I just dont have a desire to be doing what ive been doing for the past few years until im 30. Im not saying I wanna get married at 19, im just saying I want something more than just shallow sex, a connection, an emotional relathionship.

 

You are definitely targeting the wrong chicks if that is the case.

 

^ I know. I guess that because those are the chicks that ive always targeted i dont know which girls to look for.

 

It always happens when you're not looking. Like even you said, you're only 19... it WILL happen.

 

You are only 19, I am only 23 and trust me, you have a lot more to go through. A Lot.

 

Yes and no. I think when I was his age I was looking for more than just a hook up. I actually regressed when I turned 25. Then I was just looking to get laid.

 

Now I don't feel so strange. Hypothetically speaking, if I was single now, that's probably how I'd be.

 

IMHO, you're only 19! (Says 20 under your Avatar though).

I don't know your personally, but when I was 19 I was really immature; late nights playing Counter Strike with my college buddies, beer pong at the girls' place next door, working out at odd hours of the night, spending money on useless stuff, etc, etc.

To me it just sounds like your fed up with dating girls who are incompatible with you. Here's an idea, why not try dating outside the box?

When I was 19, I was attracted to skinny tall blondes. Dated quite a few in college actually; but as soon as I graduated college and began to look to the future, I began to realize that there were certain things that made my taste in women back then conflict with what I was looking for. (For me it was more a cutural issue: usually with the girl's parents being uneasy about their daugther settling down with an Asian guy. ) I think out of the many I dated in college, there were two girls that I really loved and wanted to marry; but when it came down to it, the cultural issues just got in the way.

After I graduated college, and after I broke it off with a girl that I had been dating for 3 years (due to her parents not liking the idea of us getting married), I decided to try dating outside the box; I decided to date a girl who I was not normally attracted to (an asian girl) - a girl that every guy finds to be attractive, but a girl that I would have never considered dating in the past. And well, lo and behold, I think I've the one I've been looking for.

At 19, I don't think you want to settle down and be locked in to a long term relationship. You still have a ton of shit left to do and even more shit to mess up before you settle down. I suggest being open minded and dating all types of women - I wish I had been much more open minded in college; I could've dated many more women.

 

All I do is play Super Smash Bros. and play beer pong and flip cup, so im still somewhat 'immature', but i want a mature relathionship, i dont wanna settle down by any means, I just wanna steady relathionship with a woman that i can connect with and be friends with.

And I know that im young and have alot more to go through in life and i'll probably end up going through a phase where all i wanna do is have a quick f*%k when im 25.

Anyways, you guys helped me out alot and I appreciate it. Thnx for the advice

 

Can't find the one... This ain't Matrix, there is no blue or red pill.

Just go with the flow and enjoy life, you have plenty of good experiences ahead of you.

I wish I was 19 again.

 

if you just come out of a relationship all you wanna do is get laid by lots of girls.... if youve been single all you want is a relationship....

the grass is always greener on the other side.. just live your life people come along... be accepting of it.. just dont be looking for it.

 

Some things you'll never learn until you experience... we may give you this and that kind of advice.. but those mean shit when it comes to real life experience..

Now that you know which girls you don't want to be with, try to avoid dating them would be the first step. Just like many have mentioned, you're only 19. There is no "right answer" in life. Go experience and learn it yourself. Make sure you don't take things too fast or too slow. Then, you should be fine.

 

I did the whole best friend to girlfriend thing and 4+ months into actually dating we are only closer friends and it's all going well. How did we meet and become friends in the first place... through extra-curriculars. So I would take the pieces of advice from CL-Slick and SS, thats worked out for me really well.

I'm only 18 and know what you mean about wanting someone. And yes, it's really nice to have them. Nobody is saying get married (you shouldn't anytime soon), but if you start dating someone now and it lasts 3, 4, 5 years worry about it then. There is no written rules that say you can't marry a first serious girlfriend down the road or have to marry a serious girlfriend. Let it go where it goes.

I'm not sure why people are opposed to young people being in meaningful relationships. You can "have fun" in a meaningful relationship. I understand young people not getting married, and that makes sense. But making a legal and moral commitment to someone for eternity is different than looking for someone you would consider doing that with years down the road.

Mike

 

Maybe, maybe not. You're going to get a cross section of experiences on this forum, but the only experience that matters is yours. You may meet your wife tomorrow, or maybe you're single until you're 30. I just wouldn't go with any preconceived notions on how this is going to wind up. I personally think that if you give off the vibe that you're looking for something more, that's the kind of women you'll attract.

 

so u have any candidates yet?