WILLDOGS

So, AZ, I ask you...is it possible for a guy and a girl to meet and just be friends without emotions or sex getting in the way?

Can a girl meet a guy at work and talk all of the time as friends without it going any further than that especially while both the girl and guy are in commited long term relationships with other people?

My female cousin have been having this debate for a while now and she disagrees with me completely. She has a boyfriend of 8+ years now who she loves dearly. About a month ago she met a guy at work and they hit it off, now they talk on the phone daily. They don't work together, he is a friend of a co-worker and just comes by very infrequently but he and her talk on the phone alot. She claims that he is just a friend and nothing more. She has no intrest in going any further than that since she loves her boyfriend and are planning on getting married in the near future. She claims that she would never do anything to ruin that.

I tell her that sex always gets in the way and they are building a relationship whether she knows it or not. She denies this. She claims that he is just really cool and that they have alot in common. I think that dude is just waiting for the right time when she is willing to give it up to him and is just strining her along all this time. She also denies this saying that he has a girl for the past 3 yrs and he has no intention of doing anything like that. I tell her that I am a guy and I know that he would still hit her off even if he does have a girl.

So...what do you all think? Is this dude just waiting for her to open her legs eventually? Is she just naive to the whole game of his? What guy would talk with a girl so much everyday and just want to be friend with her?

PS, her boyfriend has no idea of what is going on since he is very jealous and doesn't agree with her having guy friends. She said if he wasn't so against it that she would gladly tell him.

GUYS - Would you allow your girl to have guy friends on the side?
LADIES - Do you think she is right and that they can just be friends?

I think that no matter what, they are building a relationship and she is gaining trust in him the more they talk and that she will end up wither sleeping with him one day or end up breaking up with her man to go out with this guy. And he knows this.

einsatz

A man and a woman can absolutely be friends, and even best friends - whether they're in a relationship with someone else or not; however, the way you phrased the situation (which obviously has some bias whether you realize it or not) makes me think that you're right, and that she's being naive.
It's quite possible they are just in fact friends. Perhaps they're both in a stage in their relationships where they want some closeness to the opposite sex for the sake of variety of human contact, without it being sexual.
I think her BF sounds like a jealous jerk.

ric

It is entirely possible to have friends of the opposite gender in which sexual attraction plays absolutely no role. It is more common in younger folks than older, where steriotypical relationships follow hidebound tradition...... co-ed dorms have lead to a lot of "brother/sister" relationships.

My wife has two close male friends, both of whom share interests with my wife that I, frankly, do not. I am relieved, frankly, that she has someone that she can talk to about that stuff, and so is she. Keeps our relationship focused on the things we share. I have a couple of women that I am close to, again, sharing interests that are not ones my wife has. I like her male friends well enough, and when circumstance throws us together, we can sustain a decent conversation, but it is not a deep friendship, nor do I feel moved to try to make it that.

crazymjb

It is definatly possible, though it doesn't look like its neccessarily true in this situation. He may also be unconciously trying to get with her...

On the other hand, her boyfriend does seem quite controlling, and if he IS going to control whos shes friends with that shows he doesn't trust her and it can cause problems with the relationship very fast.

Mike

fdl

Not possible, not in the truest sense of friendship. Unless the woman is extremely unattrative, the male in the "friendship" will always think about having sex with her. He may never act on these feeling, but they will ALWAYS be there. Hence why I think in the purest sense, it is not possible.

SpeedyV6

It's entirely possible if the woman, especially if she is extremely unattractive.

WILLDOGS

She is very hot...too bad she's a cousin

And I told her this...I said "Look at you, how could he not want more with you than just friendship?" but she is the "oh i'm ugly" type.

No i don't have pics sickos

Infamous425

i used to have a female best friend (she was pretty but too short and chubby for my tastes). she ended up falling for me and got jealous when i did find a gf so i had to dump the best friend

fuckleberry

if the girl is not "fugly"
then answer is , it's not possible

subinf

^-

it might seem like its possible for a little while but usually one starts liking the other and it doesnt work out anymore

AS3.0CL

From experiance....

I have this girl who i am close to and i have known for about a year. about a year ago we started dating and then broke up 3 months later when she went back ot the ex bf before me because she was with him for 2+ years (lon messed up story with alot of BS). Now after that we stopped talking and she eventually came back to me asking to hang out about 2 months later. we did hang out, alot, practically everyday everyday behind her bf's back and still do and this has been going on for soemtime now. he didn't know anything and still barely does know anything because he's really jealouse and actually threatened to kill me after he found out i tokk her to my prom( told him to go eff himself and told him to treat her right).

me and this girl are very close and talk alot to each other, but yet i still do have feelings for her and yea i would want to get back with, her no doubt and she has said numerouse occasions about us getting back together. i admit it has been a roller coaster ride with her (picking her up in the middle of the night ebcause she took off form himbcause he went physco, kid has some seriouse issues) but on the same token i do hang out with other girls but i do think about wanting to get with her just because even thuogh she means alot to me and still with her douchbag BF.

now for that situation with your cousin, i think she's being nieve in a way. yea they guy is prob thinking about doing her but maybe he isn't. i know i have thought both ways.....sometimes i'm there as a freind but when shit starts to get rough with her and her bf and she comes back to me i think about getting with her. so this guy can be thinking both ways ro is actuall genuine. depends on the person. but i do think a good freindship between opposite sexs can exist if there is no sex involved, but we are guys so of course the sex issue will pop up occasionally. my

yes i know this friendship with this girl is a little messed up but there is alot more to it then just waht i said and alot more complicated......i'm well aware of it.

Whiskers

Didn't Harry and Sally work this theory out already?

thatguy

as long as she doesn't want to have sex with him, they will remain friends for quite some time.

StuntMonkey

i think that it is possible, but might be a bad idea. if she's talking to him everyday that means that she's getting something from him that she's not getting from her boyfriend. if she were to be in a romantic situation with him things might happen and she could lose both him and the boyfriend. just my btw, we need to get a dr. phil smiley up in here.

moeronn

There are plenty of women with guy friends where sex never even enters anyone's head. Just ask YoungTL.

Generally speaking, it is possible for guys and girls to be friends without having sexual intentions for the other. However, this mainly is true where they aren't very close friends. In your cousin's case, the guy is definitely, without a doubt, 100% for sure wanting to get in her pants. Whether he would actually do it and possibly destroy two relationships is still unknown. Given the green light from her, he probably would. As long as she makes it clear that she has no intention of being more than friends, she can probably keep him at bay. She just shouldn't be surprised if he fades away.

Bottom line, both guys and girls think about sleeping with people of the oposite sex when they meet. As long as it's dismissed quickly as a passing thought, then no harm no foul. If the thought lingers, it could spell trouble if they are in a relationship.

darko

Is it possible to be friends with your cousin without thinking about sex? It seems to me with your little sad face that you have you're physically attracted incestually to your female cousin but refuse to act because of societal,moral,religious constraints...

Yumcha

arstraub

Yes, if BOTH of them are involved w/ someone else

Eggplant-EX

I have been very good friends with a buddy's ex wife. They divorced about 18 years ago and one day, out of the blues, I get a call from her asking if she could stay at my place for the weekend as she wanted to get away from SF (I lived in LA then and was married), Well, we hit it off as friends and when I wound up being separated, I would visit her in SF at least 3 times a month (I could travel cheap). We are still good friends and she is now re-married.

The one thing I cannot do, is truly confide in her like I would a guy. And, of course, I am talking about sex.

cuteguy1414

iTrader: (1)

If she is a hotsy, then he wants to fuck her. If he is ugly and she is mediocre, then he just wants to fuck her. If he is hot and sexy and your cousin is mediocre, then she is just flirting with him. If they are both hot, then they will be fucking soon.

Ken1997TL

Absolutely possible. I have many female friends who i'd never be interested in, regardless of my current relationship status.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I think it is definately possible that a guy and girl camn be just friends. I think though that there will always be moments in your "friendship" that you have to resist temptation a bit more. But it's definately possible especially if they are both in committed relationships.

cM3go

Yeah I was a close friend with a girl once for like 3-4 years, we talked everyday, had fun hanging out.

Now, she is my girlfriend for almost a year, and I plan to marry her someday

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

IMO, that's the best way to grow a relationship. I met my wife on a pool team about 4 years ago and were "just friends" for the first 2 years.

Titand19

If a male is blowing his load on a regular with another chick it is easy for him to be just friends. All those more than friend feelings go away after you pop anyway. So if you meet with your friend, you will have no desire for anything more than to hang out. UNless you are a sobbering pussy.

iamhomin

To be brutally blunt? With ordinary, bland females...absolutely.

bmoreTLS

yeah, but once one of them starts to have problems/issues... then they'll turn to their friend for comfort.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

I don't even think that matters, if the attraction is not there, 2 of my best friends are girls, yeah they've wanted to get down b4, but I never did, and just stayed friends with them. And after they moved on, we got closer as friends

609CLTYPES

i believe that a woman can be friends with a guy, but a guy's intentions are completely different, guys will be guys no matter what...

bmoreTLS

but I do believe however it is possible to be friends w/o sex or intimate feelings...

she just needs to watch how close she allows this guy to get to her and how much information about her relationship she gives him.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Not always true. I've met a lot of women that were a lot more comfortable about making their intentions known. Grad School was a lot of fun.

609CLTYPES

i think he'll wait till he has her full confidence and then make his move

609CLTYPES

i love girls like that ... nice and simple lol

Mike 350Z

I think it is possible, but I don't think that's what's happening in this case. If the guy is fruity or the girl is butch, it's very possible

There's a similar case in my office, guy and girl, both married with 2 kids (actually the girl's husband works here too) they're always goin out to lunch and taking smoke breaks together etc. Of course there's rumors flying everywhere but it's hard to tell what's happening. I know the girl's husband doesn't give her much attention because he's always drinking and playing xbox, but the guy seems to be pretty high on his wife, and thinks the girl's husband is a big-time loser

Every case is different, but my feeling is once this guy figures out he won't be hitting it, he won't be much of a "friend" anymore. (Of course if he does start hitting it, he's not really a "friend" either )

fuzzy02CLS

iTrader: (2)

It's possible. I have a really good female friend that is married. We talk, we hang out sometimes, no problems. Both parties have to draw a line though. Like I wouldn't go out drinking with her, or go out with her without her husband knowing.

quad150db

iTrader: (1)

Yes but for only as long as she is putting out and it usally ends about the time she expects more..

F900

phipark

Nope, because of the sex thing. Sure you can hang out with girls and what not. However, you will always think about fucking them. I have a couple friends that are girls, but I always wonder what it would be like to sleep with them.

The only exceptions are your friends' girlfriends and wives, but those don't count as friends.

SaraWI

I think Chris Rock answered this best:

A guys only has female friends he hasn't fucked YET and a guy friend to a girl is like a dick in a glass case: in case of emergency, break glass.

Georgiapeach

Yes, I think that a male and female can be just friends as long as they are not hiding the friendship from their significant other.