Got a 36 pack at publix the other day for $12

 

Little graph:

Single Marriage Children
More Sex X
Less Sex X
No Sex X


edit: graph dont work, but you get the idea.

 

Whats publix? and what brand?

 

For a gag gift, maybe April Fools Day.

 

O shit I forgot publix isnt everywhere, its a grocery shop like winn dixie etc.

 

And at my local Costco a 44 pack is $10.99

 

44? That's kind of an odd number.

 

yea it is an odd number, but thats what they have!

 

well, i'm not saying I have sex 5 times a week now. But I assumd I would be once I am married and sharing a bed with my wife 7 nights a week

 

RIIIGHT

 

You crack me up.

Seriously though, on the Honeymoon and maybe for the first few months 3-5 times per will be the norm. But don't expect to sustain that pace. If you do, lets trade wives.

:ibwsklarcommentson5timesaweek:

 

No problem w/ it, hell i've made my mom buy them for me before

 

 

 

 

x2

 

funniest line i've heard in a long time

 

she was going to the store


the only embarrassing part of it was making sure she got me magnums

 

Well, being your mom, she probably knew you were going to be well-hung.

 

I went to a condom store once and had the frankest conversation with the middle-aged male store owner about the size and shape of my piece and what condoms would fit me best.

 

I was buying some desensetizer once and was talking to the girl, and she looks at me and says, i'm gonna give you the real strong stuff, I think it's what you'll need.


I was like :wtf: bitch!!
















"okay, give me the strong stuff"

 

You a premie?

 

^ @ Scott

 

 

yea, esp. considering I only get real action about once a month now So I go in and it's like "OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"


but it's not really a premie, i'll go a couple minutes, i'd rather go much longer. But for some reason I haven't needed it lately and have been a fuckin champ, esp. when I have her slap me and scream "FUCK ME NIGGER" in bed I think her dad heard her scream that a few trips back cause in the middle of our session I swear I heard a shotgun cock.



that was a joke I'm gonna get yelled at.

 

Ahahah

 

I used it once and I couldn't cum, at all.

Wife enjoyed it though.

 

Is that a cock that's sprays rather than has a concentrated stream?

 

Just you wait, buddy, juuuuust you wait.

As for buying condoms... the other night on the way to pick Scott up from the airport it occurred to me that I didn't have any condoms, so I stopped at the gas station. I was the only one in the store and I just kinda start surreptitiously trying to find where the condoms are located, and finally the clerk said, "is there anything I can help you with?" I said a quick prayer to the Gods of Humiliation and said, "Yeah... do you have any condoms?" He pointed to the little section where they're kept.

I have to say that for a gas station, they were pretty well stocked; they even had the Her Pleasure kind. I grabbed my package of Magnums and took it up to the counter; the dude's eyes bugged out and he kinda gave me a once-over. Keep in mind it was like 11:45 pm on a Thursday, all of Ashburn is asleep except for me and this guy, I'm wearing basically my pajamas... I think he wanted to ask me if I was having an emergency or something haha.

 

If he'd heard me yell that, you would be dead and I would be locked in the closet for ten years, wedding rings or not.

 

No problem buying condoms, but buying a pregnancy test sucks

 

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I bought a 3-pack of pregnancy tests and a carton of Parliaments at the same time? The cashier was some high school kid and when I asked for the cigarettes he looked at the pregnancy tests, then at me, and squeaked, "really?" I said, "I'm rooting for a negative result..."

 

I hate when the clerk says something about the purchases. I also got a 3 pack of tests and this instant coupon for pads came up and the clerk was like "gosh, now that doesn't make sense, what if you need the coupon for diapers instead"

 

You should've also asked for a fifth of Jack Daniels.

 

Yeah, I hate it when they try to make small talk...just ring me up and let me get out of here.

 

Please don't use the word "small" in a thread about condoms.

 

Feeling self-concious??

 

i'd be scared that she would want to split a pack with me..........

 

dangit I missed out on the fun.. my go to planned parenthood, they're free with a check up. And everyone there is as sketchy or sketchier than you!

 

feels like it though huh