Okay, here's the deal. I'm 20 (be 21 in December) and have never had a real relationship with a girl. Every time I go after one they run away. Well lately I'd noticed that this girl at the local ice cream shop was starting to come on to me. I went through the drive-thru there last night and she asked if I wanted to do coffee sometime. I said sure. I'm meeting her tonight at 9.

Now here's the thing: I don't feel the same way about her as she does about me and quite frankly, I'm not really "in the market" for a relationship right now. I think I should tell her this before she really gets her hopes up. I don't want to knock her down after all that. Is this the right way to go about it?

Thanks.

 

You may be reading more into this than there really is. Unless you two spend some time together you can't really tell for sure what her intentions are. Go out with her and see what happens. Perhaps she may be more interested in you than you are in her, but if the two of you are mature and sincere neither of you will be making your intentions known after one date. Go out with her tonight, get to know her, and then the both of you can decide to see each other again. You may find you actually like her company more than you think. After you're known each other for a period of time, and she wants to elevate your relationship to a higher level and your feelings haven't changed, then let her know of your feelings. Go out with her tonight, enjoy each other's company, and don't let your predetermined feelings get in the way of what may be an enjoyable evening.

Terry

 

to Terry, I myself got into a similar situation. A girl texted me asking for someone that wasn't me, so I texted back saying wrong number .. but she still wanted to talk to me. At the time I didn't care for her being around for that day, I even found it kinda annoying at first .. but I gave it a chance anyway to see where it would go. We're good friends and talk everyday now, I enjoy talking to her.

See where it goes, and if it doesn't go well, it should be pretty easy to not see/talk to her again.

 

Ok, I'm way too old to talk this way but ...

"Dude! She asked you out for coffee not to pick out furniture or choose names for your kids.
Chill."

 

How did it go? I agree with the others, don't read too much into it just yet. Maybe she found you interesting and just wants to get to know you better. Maybe she's just looking to meet people, nothing wrong with finding new friends.

 

to what everyone else said...

you don't have to have relationships all the time, you can just have fun, or meet a new friend... just see where it goes !


and yeah how was it

 

"Have you ever heard the term.....fuckbuddy?"
-40yo Virgin

 

Basically, she's ugly

 

Just play it cool. Have a good time with her and see where it goes. A lot of really great relationships started out as not being a really serious deal.

 

with what others have said. Even if things don't go anywhere with you two, she may have some friends she can hook you up with.

 

At least you know the error of your ways. It's a good start.

Girls really don't ever want to date/fuck you..they want to date/fuck someone better than you are. If you make yourself somewhat unavailable, you put yourself as better than her, then she wants to know what's so great about you and decides to fuck/date you.

You're playing the cards right so far.

As far as not really wanting any commitment or to lead her on, just keep it light. Don't be "I really don't to be exclusive with you" or anything corney like that. Just tell her that you like to keep things with women uncomplicated and have fun and go with the flow.

Your opinion of her might change once you fuck her though. So unless she's totally fat/uggo, knock it out and let us know if your thinking is the same.

Can also knock it out if she's fat/uggo of course. No shame in that man. The fatties and uggos are always grateful and they'll let you do any kind of nasty shit you want.

 

Plus since you say all the girls you chase run away...it might well be that one who pursues you could turn out to be exactly the kinda girl that clicks with you.

 

Thanks for the advice everybody. It went fine last night. Turns out there was zero pressure and she's not looking for a serious relationship either. I think we'll be good friends. I have a tendency to blow things WAY out of proportion.

 

Was she a good fuck?

 

did she take you back to the ice cream shop and go to town on your banana split?!?

 

"it went fine" <-- I think if he got any it would've read "I totally raw dogged the..."