I was just wondering what everyone's thoughts are.

Would you date or be in a relationship with someone you argue with all the time or someone who you don't argue with at all?

Sometimes I think "someone who you don't argue with at all" would be a really boring relationship. Any thoughts?

 

Arguing is bound to happen every now and then in any relationship...but I couldn't be with someone that is perpetually argumentative.

 

If you're bored unless you're arguing, you've got problems.

 

+1.

My answer is to be somewhere in between, leaning towards the "not argue too often" side.

 

+ 2.

Oh, and I'm married, so I'm not winning any of the arguments anyway.

 

Let's argue about it.

 

well what i mean is, do you want someone always argreeing with you? not expressing their opinion about something? never really having a good/bad debate about a certain topic?

and when i say arguing i mean everything in general even the small dumb shit like "jessica alba is hotter than jessica biel" etc stuff like that.

 

No, that's not what I want... or got.
Are you confusing "good natured debating" with "arguing?"
If the potential significant other is taking a contradictory position and arguing with you on everything, including little stuff, that would be irritating enough to kick that person to the curb.

 

Hm I probably am. but sometimes it could go to the extent where people take that stuff seriously which ends pretty bad >.>'

 

Then you answered your own question: I'd from someone who was always arguing or disagreeable.
I'd also avoid people who are passive-aggressive and don't argue at all-- they are annoying as well, and being annoyed is a turn-off.

 

i cant stand a girl that is completely passive, she will need to stand up for herself in what she believe, so i believe in arguing. its part of the fun, and stating your opinion.

 

For me, excitement in my relationship (in my case, my marriage) starts with the things that I have in common with my wife -- generally the things we don't need to argue about. The really important things (like how to raise the kids, what do do with our money, etc.) still require a lot of discussion, voicing of opinion, compromising, and work but not arguing.

I find it much more fulfilling to be working at constructing something and working toward a mutual dream than in analyzing the other person's thoughts to the nth degree.

I can't say I'd be even remotely interested in discussing the relative hotness of Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and Jessica Tandy with her or really with anyone.

 

I like when arguing ends with and .

 

^agree!

 

Meh. If you have to have makeup sex in order for the sex to be great, you're doing it wrong.

 

if you dont care to argue its because youre not interested

 

I think there are several questions in there covering a few scenarios, not just one.

In general, every couple will disagree and have arguments. How the couple handles them makes ALL the difference in the relationship. Having an argument where there is underlying respect and love for the other - those can be healthy. You talk stuff out, but it never becomes cruel.

If a couple does not have those things, any argument (regardless of the frequency) can be cruel and harmful. I also think constant arguing is another warning sign, in spite of the fact several couples I know seem to thrive on it. That is so contrary to my temperment I just can't understand it - I could never be with someone who needed to argue for "excitement".

Someone always agreeing with you or withholding their opinion is another kind of issue. I always recall the advice a friend of mine received when they adopted a child. The child was a pleaser - always good, never broke the rules or talked back. The counselor told them that when the child disobeyed them for the first time, that's when they'd know the child felt truly safe. Acting "good" all the time was a warning sign that the child still felt at risk of being rejected if they misbehaved, which motivated the constant good behavior.

So for me, people constantly agreeing in a relationship are doing the same thing - somewhere inside of them they don't feel safe enough to argue. That's bad, because they are not being themselves. They are playing the role of the "good boyfriend/girlfriend". So if you are actually in one of these relationships, the question I'd be asking is whether this person is trying to be conflict-free because they fear the first fight will cause a break up.

Now I guess if you get through all that and the conversations still are not that engaging, maybe they are just dull. But more likely I think they just don't feel safe enough in the relationship to be themselves.

 

I have to be able to openly disagree with my mate. I need to be able to bring ANYTHING to the table for discussion or debate. If he can't handle hearing whatever I need to talk about, and I do mean anything, then he is not the right mate for me. Having said that, I certainly don't ever need to scream or name call or verbally abuse. I won't stay and recieve that kind of street bullshit either.

If I demand openness from my mate, I'd better be able to give the same. When I come to my man, I come 100%, and when he comes to me with something I am ready to recieve his information, whether it's good or bad, 100%. That doesn't include the phone, or laundry, or TV, or the kids. Unless it's an emergency, which it generally isn't, all that can wait.

Sometimes everyone disagrees. Louder is right, so is Mike. Disagree with love and respect and a hardy debate.

 

A certain amount of disputes is healthy in a relationship. I know as a strong willed guy that I wouldn't want a woman that would let me walk all over her. Its hard to respect someone when they have no self-respect.