Share your stories of your friends' misery. Strictly for comedic purposes.

I got one buddy that was meeting up with this chick that he was talking to. He texted her that he was on his way. Something like an hour later he got there and was unsuccessful getting parking (I've been there and the parking is ridiculous). He said fuck it and left because he couldn't find parking. He didn't call the girl or nothing to say that he wasn't leaving. I asked him why he didn't call her to go somewhere else and he was like "no worries, we'll go out another night."

 

that's pretty bad

 

what an idiot.

got this buddy who was dating this chick who was mildy good looking. he is 20 years old and in college. the chick says "i have no gag reflex "and proceeds to show him.

she continues to do the deed and he asks, and i quote: "whoa, are you trying to make me come?"

some questions shouldnt be asked

 

You were sitting next to him the whole time!?

 

Should've asked for a blow too.

That reminds me of when we were in college me and 2 buddies had messed around with this one chick at separate times. She had blown me before but I never hit it because I went after her friend. Anyways we were at her house with just the 4 of us. She proceeded to start fucking my friend and we probably could've jumped in because she's a ho like that but me and my boy didn't try. I wasn't keen on whipping out my shit in front of them though.

 

I probably would have ended up asking her to marry me before it was over.

 

^ Hopefully she doesn't want to share that power though.

 

he told me the story. it does kind of seem like i was there lol

 

I only have one buddy who doesn't have a clue but no interesting stories there..

A close friend of mine who rented a room across from me while in college was with his girl making some homemade pron.. anyways our landlady actually lived upstairs and was this 70yr old 3rd generation Korean lady who lived with her 90 yr old mother. Our landlady was real keen on rules and regulations, always bugging us for one thing or another.

One afternoon she came downstairs, called for my roommate and then proceeded to open his door catching him doing some amateur movie making.. He was so embarrassed and pissed.. he pushed his girl off his "unit" (as he would call it) and started yelling at our landlady calling her a stupid bitch and then proceeded to slam the door.

Unfortunately I was at school when it occurred so after he told me what happened I for a few minutes.. he was obviously upset that I found it so hilarious. Then I asked.. "why didn't you lock the door?" He told me to fuck off. I was going to ask the obvious.. but he was too upset.. too bad that fool missed out on an epic 3-way..

 

my buddy went into the washroom at some house party and some ppl were doing blow in there. So he chilled with them for a few minutes and everyone left but this one girl who had just come there from work (she's one of those dancers at clubs in little shorts and stuff and that's what she was wearing). They were talking about piercings and where they look hot on a girl and he mentions something about loving a pierced clit. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub and she just walked up right in front of his face and took off her little shorts and said "You love piercings like this?" he just said YES and walked out.

To this day he doesn't know why he did it but he sure is regretting it

 

^Oh Gawd. Talk about a porn in the making. That's a FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

 

Your bro is a homo.

 

^ After he told me that, I am thinking he's a little confused with his sexuality, but he's not hitting on me so I don't care haha

 

He should have said my favorite female piercing is my cock.

But that's obviously his favorite male piercing..


but honestly.. I wouldn't bang a coke whore so maybe your buddy isn't gay. I'd look for tell tale clues though. Definitely don't drink alone with him.

 

i got one for you all:

this must've been around 1995 or so. my cousin kelly got in trouble for staying out too late and was grounded. well, she had some events she just had to go to, so she decides to detail her dad's car in order to appease him and get off the hook.

long story short, kelly spends all days cleaning the car and then proceeds to wax the car w/ laquer thinner (spelling)!!!!!! wound up stripping most of the paint and it required a new paint job!

over a decade later, we all still laugh at her.

thanks kelly, vinny luvs ya

 

Pics of Kelly?

 

Umm sort of off topic considering the section we're in.

 

she's married w/ a kid now. i have pics, but will NOT post em. she's actually very smart, just had a brain fart i guess. and yes, most people think she's hot

 

 

 

Some of these stories are making me .

 

I finally can think of one. My best friend years and years ago saw a girl on the road who was looking for a ride. He wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere, so he took her to where she needed to go.

Upon arrival to the location, he tells me she states, "What can I do to thank you? I'll do ANYTHING."

When she was speaking, she was looking directly into his eyes from the passenger seat of his car.

He said, "That's ok", dropped her off, and left.

 

It was probably a trap.

 

 

Yeah he probably was followed while staring at her tits. Nowadays they'll just use GPS. Reminds me of that Ice Cube song where chicks would pick up dudes and go home with them only to have a gang of dudes follow and rob/kill the guy. No rubbers for that.

 

Anything's possible. This was during my HS days, in Newport Beach.

 

 

actually happened to me.

i was throwing a small party for my bday 2 years ago.

some chick out of the blue who i havent talked to in a long time, said she was coming to my party.
so anyways she showed up, and i guess my friends said i was oblivious to all the signs she was putting out..

 

Mizouse is the AZ buddy with no clue

 

 

One of my best friends hooked up with a girl I knew. She basically went out of her way for him. Drove him around, bought his stuff, anything. 3 months go by and he asks me if I think he has a chance with her. This was not the only this this happened. He would hook up with chicks and then ask if we thought he had a shot at a relationship with her as she is basically and literally bending over backwards.

OH....and since no one here will man up. I had many an instance when I just didn't have a clue. I was never a total jerk like the OP's friend, but there were a lot of chicks that I could have nailed if I were less clueless at times.

When I lived in North Jersey I had this smoking hot neighbor. One night after she split with her husband I came home and she was up drinking with her brother and his friend. He brother was way in the closet and him and the other dude disappeared. She proceeds to give me a "tour" of her place which I have seen before. We ended up fooling around, and I acted like a gentleman and stopped before it got too far. I left. A week later she described in detail what would have happened. I messed up....I messed up bad.

There were more. We are all clueless to a point.

 

Sounds like you were in the closet.

 

I've had a couple instances of my own.

Back in freshman year of college these 2 hot chicks who were in a class with my roommate and I asked us if we wanted to go with them to go eat somewhere and I was like na I'm not hungry. They are like okkkk and walk off then my roommate looks at me and is like "WTF BRO" and it took a few seconds to set in and I was just like... did I really just do that?


Then another time a bunch of friends were getting dinner and going out on the town but I just broke up with my gf and didn't have any date so invited this 'girl at work' so I took her and when I dropped her back off at her place she was completely shmammered like could hardly keep her eyes open and she's like come in and see my place I was like ok so I get in we make out a little and then shes like wanna come see my room and my new bed? At that point I knew it was time but I decided to leave cus I have some morals and didn't wanna fuk a wasted chick, especially one I see at work everday. It was a good idea because I found out she is the weird, stalkerish kind...

 

I've got one, only I was the dumbass here.

I had been hanging out with this girl for about a month or so. She went to college almost right across the street from where I lived so we'd hang out when she got out of class 3 or 4 times a week. Well, she invited me over to her place one night for some wine and a movie. She had another friend over, some guy, I think he may have even been gay. Well, after the movie was over, she hinted at him that he should go home. He left and she asked me if I was tired. She said that the bed in the spare bedroom was covered, but I could stay with her. Shoulda taken the hint, she was hawt, and she was a little bit freaky. But no, I didn't have my contact lens stuff so I went home

 

a girl once told me she loved me back in high school, to which i responded i love me too... things were never the same after that.

 

Thank god for you guys.. Natural Selection at it's best.

 

 

 

Yeah I was messing around with this chick in my bedroom from my class. Instead of proceeding to hit it I stopped to be a gentleman. I kept talking to her but never had another chance.

 

lol.. I see Bugeye in here.. I'd like to hear her stories besides.. a woman's perspective is always nice.