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Anyone date someone with this trait?

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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 11:09 AM
  #1  
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Anyone date someone with this trait?

So, my g/f & I only get alternating weekends together as she has kids the other weekends. She travels alot for work and even if she does not see much of her kids from her travelling, our weekend is our weekend. Kids head off to dad's on our weekend. Here is the strange trait she has. She manages her life by crisis. Bounces here and bounces there and I never know when she will jump up and 'need' to get something done. We have argued over this repeatly but yet, it still happens. Drives me crazy and I am not sure I want to spend my life with someone like this.

Anyone date someone with this quirk? Is there ever a fix?


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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 11:13 AM
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I'll answer in a sec, first I've GOT to go empty the dishwasher. It's driving me crazy.











j/k. No, sorry, but my mother is absolutely that way. She can't sit still for 2 seconds. It's probably ingrained. I wouldn't suggest trying to "fix" it, because it's who she is. She deserves someone who doesn't want to fix her, and you deserve someone who doesn't drive you crazy.

I think you either decide to accept it or don't.
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 11:18 AM
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^^ +1 my mother is the same exact way. i remember being a kid, watching a movie, the house pretty dark, she'd jump up out of the blue and just start doing something that didnt need to be done, or she couldnt even sit through an entire dinner because something was bother her, dishes, whatever it may be..... like wndrlst said, its ingrained, you aint breakin that habit boi!
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 11:25 AM
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Future mother-in-law is like that. She always has to be doing something or helping out.
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Eggplant-EX
She manages her life by crisis.
...Drives me crazy and I am not sure I want to spend my life with someone like this.

Anyone date someone with this quirk? Is there ever a fix?

It sounds like she's impulsive- which is different from management by crisis, but worse, since each crisis can be resolved but impulsiveness cannot.

or accept the way she is.
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 01:26 PM
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I need clarification. Is she a woman that loves to create drama or is she just ADD? If the latter, i could put up with that. If the former, avoid it like the plague.
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 06:45 PM
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No. Not ADD. Just feels she is always behind and has to go to the supermarket, clean the house, pack her bags for her work trip, etc. She really pissed me off this weekend. She had to help clean up after a school auction Fri night (the same day she got back from a trip), so did not see each other. But she tells me when she gets home at 6pm (very last minute). Then Sunday, she has to go and help again to clean up. Again, she tells me last minute. Her excuse is she forgets and should write things down on her calendar. Some times, we wake up on a Sat and she jumps out of bed at 8am and has to go (feed the dog). I will not see her till 2-3pm as she is doig stuff at home.

Right now, as it stands, we had an argument Sunday and she has since gone on a work trip. But I did tell her I was done with her. It is hard to break up with someone when there is still a spark. But the relationship has been taxing and rocky for the last 6 months and some of it is her job and some of it is her and some of it is me.

Aiyah!
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 07:13 PM
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Oh man eggy that's way too much drama. That would irritate the hell out of me. I don't mind a change of plans if A. there's a legitimate reason and B. she gives me a heads up. It's common courtesy and if you are a priority she should care enough to know how important your time both together and alone is. For example, if i have dinner plans with my gf and she is running behind at work, i expect a call ahead of time so i can stay late at the office to catch up or run errands or whatever.
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 07:15 PM
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As always, we need pics to see if she is worth the headache...
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Whiskers
As always, we need pics to see if she is worth the headache...


Originally Posted by Eggplant-EX
But the relationship has been taxing and rocky for the last 6 months and some of it is her job and some of it is her and some of it is me.
You should fix whatever the "you" part is for a month or so, and maybe that will encourage her
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Old Nov 18, 2008 | 07:54 PM
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nah, no way as far as the picture goes. LOL! She is turning 50 and not hot as you guys always want or have. But she is pretty 'fun' in bed and that is what has held us together....
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Old Nov 19, 2008 | 01:55 AM
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Buy her a planner. Tell her to manage her time better. You need to enjoy your weekend with her plain and simple. There's time to do the other things, she just needs to make it.

And yes, the single mom I was seeing seemed to be drawn to any issue as if it was a stat priority. "Oh shit I have to get this, I have an appointment with G-d to pick it up." Chill out.
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Old Nov 19, 2008 | 08:10 AM
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She may need therapy & possible meds. I'm serious. She should really see someone about it.
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