honestly i THINK i love this girl, but i dont know, i KNOW i like her ALOT. also i give u credit for reading this entire thing(i congratulate u if u actually read it). and im really fucked up right now and i dont know if this makes sense, i will read it tomorrow and then make any corrections LOL.

me: 20, very good looking according to my friends/people i work with. not to be conceited. except i am a very little overweight. im 6'5 ~260ish. but its not noticable, im well balanced. no fat belly sticking out, im alot of muscle but of course some fat, around 20% body fat, i know thats bad but its not that bad since the average is around ~25%. im a big guy not going to lie, i do security as my job, i do nightclub security and personal security. and my job has been a problem for relationships in the past because i date the girls i meet at clubs and then once i date them they want me to stop doing security. example: i did security for: p diddy, 50 cent, shaq, gym class heroes, jose reyes from the mets, mike piazza(when he was good), pretty much the entire mets team because they always came to my club(posh ultra lounge, currently closed) after their home games, mike depiertro, lloyd banks, busta rhymes, ll cool j, fat joe, raven riley, vanessa george and almost the entire "contestants" for the tila tequila show(use to work at a gay bar, but i fucked so many more girls there than i did working at a straight club, LOL), and many others that i can not think of, and of course girls love me cause im with them but this girl im talking about right now didnt care and i LOVED that about her(i introduced her to everyone celebrity), it was awesome to not have a girl want to meet the celebrities. like i said before, i think i love this girl because i havent felt this way about anyone else. i still live with my parents because i want to buy a house(currently saving $), not rent an apartment.

her: 20, huge tities, small but nice ass, all my friends say she is beautiful(pm me and i will send u a pic), a very little chubby, blonde that loves to give head. and a very good hearted person, awesome to be around/with. she has a ugly girl personality but shes hot at hell, except for she got into a really bad car accident and has a scar above her left eyebrow, and a fucked up nose, honestly before she was beyond beautiful, she put weight on after the accident. and she goes to school to be a nurse(my mom is a nurse practicioner(i cant spell)), and has 3 jobs, 1 at the hospital, and 2 where she is a "home-aid" for an eldery couples. she has her own apartment and '09 nissian altima. honestly shes a keeper if she would stop fucking around

i met this girl in january(at a club i worked at), we talked every week she was there. started chillin in march, we hooked up every time but she she doesnt fuck unless its her boyfriend. we hook up from march-may. i ask her how she feels about her ex(they lived together for 4 1/2 years) she says that shes not ready for another guy. i start working at this exclusive club in the hamptons(neptunes during the day and pink elephant at night) and we stop talking. we were suppose to hangout for my bday(july 24th) but i dont call her cause i couldnt get her in where i was going(the drift inn, aka neptunes at night) because i was 20. so i call her and i tell her i cant get her in, im really sorry, then i told her to come down to the pink elephant or neptunes, but she never comes because she doesnt want me to think she is using me(she really wasnt), then we stop talkin, and start talking again the week after labor day, and go right back to hooking up after an hour of hanging out, then we stop in the first week of october because she has a boyfriend, out of no where, and im not a piece of shit thats gunna try and steal a girl form a guy, i got respect. so she calls me 2 weeks after they started going out and bitchin about how bad he treats her and how cheap he is a stuff(she doesnt mind paying but once the bill came he says(it was her plus 3 people, the bf and her gf and her bf) "i dont have any money(none of them had money except her), and she said to him, "are u fucking kidding me"(LOL), so im like damn u always pick the winners(sarcastic) because the guy before that guy was a moron, and told her to stop using big words because he didnt know what they mean. her friends say im the best out of all the guys shes been with and honestly im sick of being the "back up plan". and all the times i was gunna ask her to be my girl, other guys beat me to it(we live about 15-20 miles away), and id rather do it in person instead of over the phone or text or email. i never got the chance because the guys she dated all live VERY close to her.

so i just texted her, "listen, u know i like u, and honestly, no hard feelings, but i want u to be my girl or nothing at all, ur a good person but i dont want to see u with another guy" she didnt text me back(i texted her earlier maybe ~11:30-12ish). she didnt respond because she is probably sleeping since she has work at 8am(i was sober when i texted her and i NEVER drunk text her). im not a bitch either, i dont do what she says, she tells me she will call me back and she never does, so i do the same shit to her and i tell her ill hangout with her but i never do, because i know not to cater to girls. i feel like im just the back up plan. like now shes kinda with a 35 year old guy(shes 20) she likes older guys, but what girl doesnt, but come on, 15 years? god damn man,

what i wanna know, did i do the right thing asking her where i stand with her and what not?

 

i didnt read the entire thing because i got bored when you were talking about your job, i hope you dont brag that often.

BUT
rule number 21312331232131323545656 about dating a girl is to NEVER ask "where do we stand" you are the man and you decide where you guys stand. if you are official than make it so, if your not then dont. but never seem unsure and question it because it is a sure fire way to hurt some feelings and bring up tons of uncertainties


HUGE EDIT: i read it LOL
go with your guy man, you are the back up plan. move on and move up. ive been there before and its never a winning battle. if you have to convince a girl to like you then shes not worth your time at all. Good luck and keep your head up

 

k

Congrats on your friend with benefits

She's lived with some dude since she was 15-16?

Yes you did. I tracked a girl around for a year before I asked her this and was shot down. I wasted a year but at least I found out the truth by asking the question instead of never knowing the answer.

 

She doesn't really sound like a keeper to me bro, sorry. Just judging by the kinds of guys and frequency with which she jumps back and forth between them. You have a pretty good gig when it comes to meeting sluts to bang, but I doubt you'll find any keepers there.

I'm not sure if I would have communicated those thoughts to her, distancing yourself and making yourself less "available" seems to be the right play here. But still, she doesn't sound like a keeper to me. I wouldn't mind seeing a pic though

btw, i didn't think Neptunes was an "exclusive" club? I thought pretty much everyone went there.

 

Yeah you fucked up:

1) By trying to make a chick like that your girl

2) By trying to make a chick like that your girl

3) See 1 and 2...

 

Never ask a girl to be your girlfriend. She should be begging you to be exclusive, not the other way around. It's one of the more important indicators of a girl with high interest. Needless to say, you should only consider being monogamous with a girl who displays very high interest. By asking her the way you did, you handed over all your power to her. Now the ball's in her court and she'll hate the fact that you just surrendered to her. Don't believe Hollywood romantic comedies. That shit doesn't work with hot girls. They lust over strength, not capitulation.

When you tell her "You'll either be my girl or we can't hang anymore" you display weakness. A cool, confident, strong man (the type hot girls are attracted to) does not need any woman. You just displayed neediness.

Try just hooking up with this girl and having fun. Judging from her behavior she's not interested in settling down and moving to the suburbs and having 2.1 kids. She's 20 and wants to party and fuck around. Enjoy the perqs of being a dickhead ego-maniacal bouncer. Get what's coming to you and quit being needy. If you meet girls you're interested in hang out with them, do whatever, but let them validate themselves to your standards and then beg for your monogamy. Guys have much to lose from monogamy and less to gain (giving up lots sex with other women, for her sole intimacy) - so she has to be worth it.

 

you're 20. waay too young to be exclusively dating this chick.

 

Id have to agree with both of these guys. If she doesnt have sex with guys who arent her boyfriend and is giving head to guys who arent I seriously doubt she is keeper material.

Also she is bouncing between too many men. Which means shes bangin them. Id say if you want to keep bangin girls you meet while working than do it but dont catch feelings for them.

You dont meet wholesome girls at a club no matter how wholesome they seem.

Hopefully you will find out your answer soon though. GL

 

I can't believe I read that whole thing.

Settle down big boy. Don't get so excited.

Move on. Move on. Move on. There are plenty more to play with. Go find them.

 

fucking dark always dropping knowledge.

 

Yeah when I read that I thought "are you shittin me?" What the fuck kind of moral code is that? Swallowing dome is acceptable, just as long as she doesn't bang anyone

 

Honeys only say that to weak mofos...straight up, no doubt! Mofo like me will just coat her throat and call it a day anyway! We ain't even gotta do all that extra shit like movies and chilling constantly if we ain't fucking.

You dudes gotta stop trying to turn these hos into housewives or your girl! You see they resist - so you should resist too dammit!!

Baby girl like: I just wanna suck your dick
You like: Nah, I want you to be my girl or nothing!

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK?????????????? Get real dude...

Y'all making these women right as hell when they try to say it ain't just them that catch feelings off of some good sex! What...you can't just bust a nut and be happy man?

Fall back dude...you already fucked this one up...

 

wow like dark said you fucked thiss waaaayyyy up.. you had an easy BJ anytime you wanted it. And you pull a bitch move and say its all or nothing.. Man the fuck up and grow some balls.

 

lol thanks for all of that, yeah im sorry for that being really long, that happens when ur drunk :\ but yeah i cut it off before cause she was like "i just dont know what to do" and blah blah blah, so i said, "peace, have fun with ur 35 year old" loll

 

You are wrong

 

Yeah, you fucked up.

 

damn, i fell asleep reading that.

like gnate said, you fucked up brah.

failed.

 

how the hell do you security and bounce for clubs an shit if your 20...

 

^^I don't think drinking and getting drunk are part of the job description

 

OP....slow down dude. You need to realize the difference between a hook up and girlfriend material. She definitely sounds like she is not GF material. But that's just me.

That's the important part of this thread? You don't have to be 21 to work at bars in NY.

 

i agree, it was just me being ignorant thinking it would work out

in NY, the minimum age to work in a club(bartend, bar back, security, and so on) is 18

lol! its not

 

I didnt read the whole thing, obviously she's not the girl for you but two things stood out here.

And

I hate to say this but you need to mature some before defining the L word.. because your current definition is far from what it should be. Huge titties wont be in the first line of her description when you do fall in love.. you put so much emphasis on the physical and barely anything on who she is as an individual.

 

dude, you need a virgin girl from poland or something, no some hoe from the bar scene. Too much work to undo what you already did, and don't be surprised if she doesn't call you back. Don't pursue her anymore and you Miiiiiiiight have a chance down the line of you play it right at that time.

 

AMEN brotha. They need to turn this into a billboard or teach it in middle school or something. Girls go do home ec (havent been meeting very many women who cook nowadays) and guys go to hoe ec LOL

I hate to sound crude but there are two types of women. There are hoes and there is bun/wifey material "housewives" You dont turn a hoe into a housewife. Otherwise you will come home one day wiht another man's dick in your wife's mouth. You can turn a housewife into a hoe. But turn her into YOUR hoe.

 

touche' ghost em all... stop treatin these hoes and start trickin em!

 

yo just fuck a bitch whaaaat

 

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExgrdRVqU8M


How to treat a ho...See above video... and in the words of money mike "You can lead a ho to want a playa, but ya can't make her think, ya dig what I'm saying?" ... That is all.

 

A lot of people seem to disagree with you sometimes Amis, but I think you are pretty much always spot on. You just tell the truth that some people don't want to hear and i respect you for that.

I've recently learned that your first two paragraphs are true and you need to be that way. I've been dating a girl for 6 months, after about 2 i wanted to ask her to be my gf, but i didn't. I waited and eventually she asked me to be her bf. I also waited for her to tell me she loves me before i told her. Not because i didn't want to, but because I wanted her to prove her interest and validate herself. Now I know her interest in me is true.

 

You got it!

I have never in life asked a girl to be my gf. It just doesn't feel natural. For the reasons outlined here. I remember in high school thinking that a girl would think I'm "pressed" for doing that. Most of the girls I dated had crushes on me in high school so it really never came up, but I wouldn't do it anyway.

Now, as an adult, I know that confidence, strength, sense of humor and knowledge are the turn-ons women seek largely when they look to a person for consideration as a long-term mate. They like you to be compassionate, but that is mostly at the forefront of the minds of women that have been too abused by former guys. They want you to have your shit together finanacially, too. Most of the things they want on their list are things you should display over time. But on those initial encounters, trust me, if you have swagger, can sweep them off their feet, make them laugh and not seem needy or clingy...you are in there - damn near guaranteed! Definitely don't be needy or clingy. If anyone is going to be that, they want it to be them. That will never get them to look at you like damn...I want that man! The "wet look"...

So when I'm on here talking to the young dudes about how to approach women and have realistic expectations, it's not braggadocio about my past. No, it's quite the opposite...it's altruism...

 

darksom -- i agree with u 100%.

 

i just read that entire first post.

1. can i get a pm with the pic of the girl?

2. you did the right thing by calling it off with her.

3. slow down with the "L" word. :shakehead

4. next time, i'd try and find a girl who likes and wants to spend time with just you.

good luck.

 

word, in any relationship as GIBSON said, its always better when the girl loves the man a little bit more. Just tough out the heartache and start finding another woman to take your mind off this one. Don't even get with this one if she comes around, she's done and she will never have anything to offer besides sex. Which you can get from any other chick, prolly alot better sex at that.

 

i would just avoid her man..

this girl will bring trouble to ur life