Top 10 Worst Car Names
#1
In the Mid-South meow
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Top 10 Worst Car Names
http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/auto...rst-car-names/
10. The Entire Lincoln Lineup
Lincoln is a brand with a considerable history, and we know they know how to give cars strong iconic names such as Continental or Navigator. Somewhere around 2007, many of those easy-to-remember names went out the window, leaving consumers with a hodgepodge of names starting with "MK." That's a shame because Lincoln has a strong lineup right now. What's the difference between the MKZ, MKX and MKS? Gimme a second to look it up because I honestly can't remember which is which.
9. Hyundai Equus
The inclusion of the Equus might be premature considering it's not even on sale yet, but this could be the push Hyundai needs to give the car a proper name before it's released. Companies occasionally give Latin names to products to make them sound sophisticated or fancy, but Equus just makes us think of the Broadway play of the same name — most recently starring Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame.
8. Toyota Yaris
There was a girl in my dorm freshman year who organized her shoes alphabetically by mood. She majored in dead languages and responded to every single question with "no worries." She once set the dorm microwave on fire by overcooking a ham-and-cheese Hot Pocket. Yes, that story is ridiculous and nonsensical ... sort of like naming a car Yaris.
7. Kia Forte Koup
As writers, we're particularly offended when companies take liberties with the English language in an effort to be cutesy — and this is no exception. We actually like this car! But Kia is asking us to overlook years of schooling and experience to accept their quirky spelling of coupe. It might require a few sessions with a therapist before we can get to that happy place.
6. Subaru B9 Tribeca
Here we've got a family crossover named after a fashionable neighborhood in lower Manhattan and ... a World War II bomber? Consumers didn't understand the B9 moniker either; that part of the name got the ax when Subaru redesigned the SUV for the 2008 model year.
5. Volkswagen Touareg
A few Volkswagens could've made this list, but the Touareg was easily the name that tripped up our American mouths the most. Early Touareg commercials in the U.S. even depicted people struggling to say the name. When an automaker has to spend precious time and ad dollars helping consumers learn to pronounce the car's name — something is wrong.
4. Ford Probe
There are many borderline inappropriate jokes you could make about a 1990s sport compact named Probe, but we're far too classy for that. Even if you don't take into account the tasteless jokes, this is just a bad car name. There is nothing cool about a probe (the word, not the car). What thesaurus was Ford using where probe was synonymous with sleek and sporty?
3. Subaru Brat
Although Brat is technically an acronym — it stands for Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter — it's a particularly unfortunate one. "Brat" is almost never used to describe something positively. A brat is not a calm, confident driver who knows what he wants and how to get it. A brat is busy throwing a hissy fit in the corner because his mom won't let him borrow the car to go buy the new Styx album.
2. Isuzu VehiCROSS
Isuzu deserves a little credit for creating an attention-grabbing crossover before it was even a recognized vehicle segment, but the name practically beats consumers over the head with the idea (think SUV plus a cross-training sneaker). Add to that the unnecessary capitalization and the fact that VehiCROSS is a mouthful, and you have one bad name.
1. Ford Aspire
It's pretty safe to say that many drivers' dream cars fall under the category of sports car or luxury auto; few children hope to one day spend their commuting hours behind the wheel of a 63-horsepower subcompact hatchback. When Ford slapped the Aspire name on the back of this car, they were basically saying: "Yeah, even our car knows you wish you were driving something cooler."
Lincoln is a brand with a considerable history, and we know they know how to give cars strong iconic names such as Continental or Navigator. Somewhere around 2007, many of those easy-to-remember names went out the window, leaving consumers with a hodgepodge of names starting with "MK." That's a shame because Lincoln has a strong lineup right now. What's the difference between the MKZ, MKX and MKS? Gimme a second to look it up because I honestly can't remember which is which.
9. Hyundai Equus
The inclusion of the Equus might be premature considering it's not even on sale yet, but this could be the push Hyundai needs to give the car a proper name before it's released. Companies occasionally give Latin names to products to make them sound sophisticated or fancy, but Equus just makes us think of the Broadway play of the same name — most recently starring Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame.
8. Toyota Yaris
There was a girl in my dorm freshman year who organized her shoes alphabetically by mood. She majored in dead languages and responded to every single question with "no worries." She once set the dorm microwave on fire by overcooking a ham-and-cheese Hot Pocket. Yes, that story is ridiculous and nonsensical ... sort of like naming a car Yaris.
7. Kia Forte Koup
As writers, we're particularly offended when companies take liberties with the English language in an effort to be cutesy — and this is no exception. We actually like this car! But Kia is asking us to overlook years of schooling and experience to accept their quirky spelling of coupe. It might require a few sessions with a therapist before we can get to that happy place.
6. Subaru B9 Tribeca
Here we've got a family crossover named after a fashionable neighborhood in lower Manhattan and ... a World War II bomber? Consumers didn't understand the B9 moniker either; that part of the name got the ax when Subaru redesigned the SUV for the 2008 model year.
5. Volkswagen Touareg
A few Volkswagens could've made this list, but the Touareg was easily the name that tripped up our American mouths the most. Early Touareg commercials in the U.S. even depicted people struggling to say the name. When an automaker has to spend precious time and ad dollars helping consumers learn to pronounce the car's name — something is wrong.
4. Ford Probe
There are many borderline inappropriate jokes you could make about a 1990s sport compact named Probe, but we're far too classy for that. Even if you don't take into account the tasteless jokes, this is just a bad car name. There is nothing cool about a probe (the word, not the car). What thesaurus was Ford using where probe was synonymous with sleek and sporty?
3. Subaru Brat
Although Brat is technically an acronym — it stands for Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter — it's a particularly unfortunate one. "Brat" is almost never used to describe something positively. A brat is not a calm, confident driver who knows what he wants and how to get it. A brat is busy throwing a hissy fit in the corner because his mom won't let him borrow the car to go buy the new Styx album.
2. Isuzu VehiCROSS
Isuzu deserves a little credit for creating an attention-grabbing crossover before it was even a recognized vehicle segment, but the name practically beats consumers over the head with the idea (think SUV plus a cross-training sneaker). Add to that the unnecessary capitalization and the fact that VehiCROSS is a mouthful, and you have one bad name.
1. Ford Aspire
It's pretty safe to say that many drivers' dream cars fall under the category of sports car or luxury auto; few children hope to one day spend their commuting hours behind the wheel of a 63-horsepower subcompact hatchback. When Ford slapped the Aspire name on the back of this car, they were basically saying: "Yeah, even our car knows you wish you were driving something cooler."
#3
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I'd rather have a tacky name then two letters/numbers, etc.
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#8
Senior Moderator
I have to agree with all those, and also add a few myself (Rondo, Borrego, Tiguan, etc.). Yaris is just retarded, and the car itself looks cartoonish. I really can't stand Lincoln's naming system. I have no idea which car is which.
#9
The Box
I have no clue what Lincoln's new line up consists of, don't know which car is which.
I also don't know why BMW went back to 328, 528, etc. instead of sticking with 525, 530, etc.
I also don't know why BMW went back to 328, 528, etc. instead of sticking with 525, 530, etc.
#10
A lot of JDM cars have Engrish names. Like the Honda That's, Isuzu Mysterious Utility, and some other car/truck with Dump in it's name.
Then there's the Celebrity which is laughable because of the car it was, and then there's the Chevy LUV. I didn't know it stood for light utility vehicle until a friend of mine told me.
#11
Senior Moderator
Honestly some of the worst car names I've seen come from Nissan's Japanese market models. Thankfully, they have sense enough to name the USDM models with most of us in mind.
#12
The sizzle in the Steak
Honda P-nut
#14
Trolling Canuckistan
Except Porsche who used to just use numbers (356,550,944,928,911) then when everyone else went "alphanumeric" with their names Porsche went back to actual names (Boxster, Cayman, Carrera, Targa).
#16
IIRC BMW names their models in terms of size and the latter two numbers are what they feel the power equivalent of the engine is. Ie the 335i puts out what a 3.5 liter inline-6 of theirs would put out
#17
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Makes me tempted to rebadge my RL as a Legend
#18
Senior Moderator
I almost rebadged my RL as a Legend as well. I even had the vendor chosen...then I sold the car.
#19
I disagree about the BRAT - it fit the vehicle perfectly (and I want one)
I never thought Probe was so bad, either - the writer seems to equate it with like a medical probe - ouch - but I think they meant more like a space probe
Ford has their share of bad ones though, I mean is there anyone who in their group of friends doesn't refer to Taurus as Tore-Ass or Aspire as Ass-Fire??
I never thought Probe was so bad, either - the writer seems to equate it with like a medical probe - ouch - but I think they meant more like a space probe
Ford has their share of bad ones though, I mean is there anyone who in their group of friends doesn't refer to Taurus as Tore-Ass or Aspire as Ass-Fire??
#20
Registered but harmless
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....I think.
The 740/750/760 designations became more confusing after BMW stopped making the 735i and starting using both the V8 and V12.
Hey, I liked Ford's "Probe" name, and the 2nd gen GT was a neat car!
#21
Yes in the late 90s/early 00s, a 325 was a 2.5 I6, a 328 was a 2.8 - but where it got nutty was a 323, which was the base model, was ALSO a 2.5L at one point....
#23
E92
Yeah, what's the deal with the 911? Isn't it the 911 carrera, 911 gt3, etc.?
#24
Drifting
I know Mercedes-Benz uses the engine size method for their numbers as well (with a few exceptions). Forexample: AMG 55 = 5.5L V8, 600 = 6.0L V12, 430 = 4.3L V8, 500 = 5.0L V8, 320 = 3.2L V6, etc
On a side note, I'm surprised no one has mentioned the Vibe yet for a poor name choice.
On a side note, I'm surprised no one has mentioned the Vibe yet for a poor name choice.
#26
Your Friendly Canadian
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^ I think VW Thing was a suitable name for the car.
#27
Suzuka Master
Porsche's system is a bit trickier to explain I think. Every model has a numeric designations 911 for the Carrera models or 987 for the Cayman for example. I always thought that the names were to identify the different variants available with the car: Carrera S, Carrera 4S, GT3, GT3RS etc.
#30
Suzuka Master
What about the "No Go" Chevy Nova? WTF is an Escalade? How about the Austin Princess? The Ford Fairlane? Who dosn't want to kick something with a name like Prius?
There are some seriously bad names out there they didn't even mention. This list fails.
There are some seriously bad names out there they didn't even mention. This list fails.
#31
99 TL, 06 E350
#32
Rooting for Acura
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9. Hyundai Equus
The inclusion of the Equus might be premature considering it's not even on sale yet, but this could be the push Hyundai needs to give the car a proper name before it's released. Companies occasionally give Latin names to products to make them sound sophisticated or fancy, but Equus just makes us think of the Broadway play of the same name — most recently starring Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame.
I believe Equus is latin for horse, so the concept is cool but if the word doesn't roll off of your tongue when someone asks, "what kind of car do you drive?" it's pretty much a bad name.
I think "Acura Legend" was one of the best car names ever. It rolled off the tongue nicely AND it was prophetic.
The inclusion of the Equus might be premature considering it's not even on sale yet, but this could be the push Hyundai needs to give the car a proper name before it's released. Companies occasionally give Latin names to products to make them sound sophisticated or fancy, but Equus just makes us think of the Broadway play of the same name — most recently starring Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame.
I believe Equus is latin for horse, so the concept is cool but if the word doesn't roll off of your tongue when someone asks, "what kind of car do you drive?" it's pretty much a bad name.
I think "Acura Legend" was one of the best car names ever. It rolled off the tongue nicely AND it was prophetic.
#33
Rooting for Acura
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...oh and pretty much any car with a name that doesn't quite describe the car very well is a bad name too. The Dodge Dart comes to mind.
edit: Buick Grand National was a kick ass name too!
edit: Buick Grand National was a kick ass name too!
Last edited by knight rider; 12-17-2009 at 08:06 PM.
#36
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Hey, WTF is a "Camaro"-- animal, vegetable or mineral?
Why name a car after a small ship type -- "Corvette"?
"Legend" is fine, but WTH is an "Integra" or "Camry"?
Why name a car after a small ship type -- "Corvette"?
"Legend" is fine, but WTH is an "Integra" or "Camry"?
Last edited by Will Y.; 12-18-2009 at 09:38 AM.
#37
I shoot people
I've always hated the Japanese version of the Infinti M-"Fuga". I always think of "fugly"
#38
In the Mid-South meow
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Hyundai Excel... kind of an oxymoron IMO.
#39
I think the Camaro is a cool name of course the supposed premise behind the naming is pretty lame, but I think it rolls off the tongue nicely. Plus the nameplate is one of the longest lasting ever for a sporty car along the likes of Corvette and Mustang.