Giving up the M3 - what do I get now?
12-17-2008, 09:40 PM
#81
Suzuka Master
Great advice Shoofin, that was pretty much how it was for me with the wife at first as well. In the end we came to the conclusion that as long as everything for the kids or savings was paid for, I was free to use my money to whichever use I wanted.
12-17-2008, 09:59 PM
#82
Not just a smell
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In any event, this thread topic belongs in Dating & Relationships because the real issue here isn't about cars.
12-18-2008, 12:08 AM
#83
Senior Moderator
How can you be teh yuppie w/o M3?
12-18-2008, 12:28 AM
#84
The Third Ball
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The only grammatically incorrect with the german is that ein possibly should have been eine. And as insult, it ranks pretty high up there among the Duetsche.
Either way it doesn't change the fact that you are one giant fuck stick.
12-18-2008, 08:09 AM
#85
Changin bulbs since '73
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Get Hyunda Genesis Sedan.
Lets compare the same class.
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > Acura TL
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > Nissan Maxima
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > or = Infinity G37x sedan
Having one of the top 10 best engine of the world, and with amazinig Hyundai Quallity, it offers the Best Value for its money...
Lets compare the same class.
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > Acura TL
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > Nissan Maxima
Hyundai Genesis Sedan > or = Infinity G37x sedan
Having one of the top 10 best engine of the world, and with amazinig Hyundai Quallity, it offers the Best Value for its money...
love it
12-18-2008, 09:28 AM
#86
What Would Don Draper Do?
Because we're doing things together now and I supposedly never take no for an answer - which is rather true. She said no, I bought it anyway so she feels like everything I do is to defy her. I always try to "reason" with her as to why my way is the right way.
Like we're looking at upgrading my place. I want to live in a city highrise doorman building, she wants the suburbs with a backyard and grass.
Love the girl to death and she has a point. I like doing what I want and I'm always persistant in being convincing. The car purchase was a big deal to her because it was the icing on the cake on how I'm horrible at compromise.
Like we're looking at upgrading my place. I want to live in a city highrise doorman building, she wants the suburbs with a backyard and grass.
Love the girl to death and she has a point. I like doing what I want and I'm always persistant in being convincing. The car purchase was a big deal to her because it was the icing on the cake on how I'm horrible at compromise.
i can understand her being frustrated or upset if you bought the car after you got married.
i'm with sarlacc on this one. IF she really wants you to compromise, keep the car and buy a house in the suburbs with a backyard and grass. that's compromise. what she wants is her way.
12-18-2008, 11:40 AM
#87
The hair says it all
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I'm not about to get into the marriage has you by the balls discussion so let me just say this:
If, and I seriously hope this happens, I ever find myself in possession of my dream car, an E30 or E46 m3, no one is taking it away from me. Ever. I would keep it in a garage until the day I die.
If, and I seriously hope this happens, I ever find myself in possession of my dream car, an E30 or E46 m3, no one is taking it away from me. Ever. I would keep it in a garage until the day I die.
12-18-2008, 12:12 PM
#91
What Would Don Draper Do?
that's a good question.
i can only answer for myself, but if i'm engaged to my gf, and she didn't approve of a certain car i want to buy, her thoughts and reasons would definitely be considered.
in my case yea, i'd probably sacrifice the car i want if that means i have more money for a house or furniture or whatever for the both of us.
if money isn't an issue, then i'd buy my car, definitely.
so if the OP was engaged when he bought the car, i can see why the fiancee may be upset because the two are going to be living together, sharing, etc.
i think that's normal. at least it is from what i've seen from friends that are married or about to get married.
but the greater issue i see with the OP and his fiancee is that she's wanting him to compromise, but from what he posted, it doesn't seem like she's wanting to do the same. but i'm probably just jumping to conclusions since obviously, i don't know their whole story.
he says that she thinks everything he does "is to defy her" then that's a problem. i'm sorry, but she comes across as being selfish. (no offense)
this thread is probably better suited to the D&R subforum due to recent posts. but beware, darksom is there.
12-18-2008, 12:21 PM
#92
TQ > MPG
I bought my Cobra when I was dating my wife. She hated the idea, but I still bought it.
We broke up, and eventually got back together. She still hates that I have the car, and the $$ I spend on it, but I dont drink, gamble, or smoke. I spend money on my cars. Thats not the worst vice you can have, and at least you have something to show for it.
Like anything in life you have to pick and choose your battles. You have to decide whether this is a fight you want to "battle" over. In the end your relationship is worth alot more than a car, but you have to be objective and guage whether she wants you to get rid of it because its smarter financially (long and short term) or if its out of spite and/or power trip.
I paid off my car asap, so she couldnt spout any of the financial argument. I tell her I'll sell it right now, if I can get a Corvette or new Cobra. Obviously thats more expensive than fixing this one up, so I keep it.
My advice: keep the M3 and get a 2nd job, that way you can still have the house and car, and not have to listen to her nag so much since you won't be home as much, and she'll be happy to see you when you are home
We broke up, and eventually got back together. She still hates that I have the car, and the $$ I spend on it, but I dont drink, gamble, or smoke. I spend money on my cars. Thats not the worst vice you can have, and at least you have something to show for it.
Like anything in life you have to pick and choose your battles. You have to decide whether this is a fight you want to "battle" over. In the end your relationship is worth alot more than a car, but you have to be objective and guage whether she wants you to get rid of it because its smarter financially (long and short term) or if its out of spite and/or power trip.
I paid off my car asap, so she couldnt spout any of the financial argument. I tell her I'll sell it right now, if I can get a Corvette or new Cobra. Obviously thats more expensive than fixing this one up, so I keep it.
My advice: keep the M3 and get a 2nd job, that way you can still have the house and car, and not have to listen to her nag so much since you won't be home as much, and she'll be happy to see you when you are home
Last edited by Joe5.0; 12-18-2008 at 12:24 PM.
12-18-2008, 01:01 PM
#94
Instructor
Let's not turn this thread into the therapy session 
I think the new Accord couple is one the best looking cars. You can get it with V6, fully loaded for around 30K.
I think the new Accord couple is one the best looking cars. You can get it with V6, fully loaded for around 30K.
12-18-2008, 01:32 PM
#96
What Would Don Draper Do?
I bought my Cobra when I was dating my wife. She hated the idea, but I still bought it.
We broke up, and eventually got back together. She still hates that I have the car, and the $$ I spend on it, but I dont drink, gamble, or smoke. I spend money on my cars. Thats not the worst vice you can have, and at least you have something to show for it.
Like anything in life you have to pick and choose your battles. You have to decide whether this is a fight you want to "battle" over. In the end your relationship is worth alot more than a car, but you have to be objective and guage whether she wants you to get rid of it because its smarter financially (long and short term) or if its out of spite and/or power trip.
I paid off my car asap, so she couldnt spout any of the financial argument. I tell her I'll sell it right now, if I can get a Corvette or new Cobra. Obviously thats more expensive than fixing this one up, so I keep it.
My advice: keep the M3 and get a 2nd job, that way you can still have the house and car, and not have to listen to her nag so much since you won't be home as much, and she'll be happy to see you when you are home
We broke up, and eventually got back together. She still hates that I have the car, and the $$ I spend on it, but I dont drink, gamble, or smoke. I spend money on my cars. Thats not the worst vice you can have, and at least you have something to show for it.
Like anything in life you have to pick and choose your battles. You have to decide whether this is a fight you want to "battle" over. In the end your relationship is worth alot more than a car, but you have to be objective and guage whether she wants you to get rid of it because its smarter financially (long and short term) or if its out of spite and/or power trip.
I paid off my car asap, so she couldnt spout any of the financial argument. I tell her I'll sell it right now, if I can get a Corvette or new Cobra. Obviously thats more expensive than fixing this one up, so I keep it.
My advice: keep the M3 and get a 2nd job, that way you can still have the house and car, and not have to listen to her nag so much since you won't be home as much, and she'll be happy to see you when you are home
and i might be in the minority, but i think the actual car looks better than the concept in that pic. the front looks too bloated in that concept.
i think the accord coupe is one of the best looking cars out there. but it doesn't matter since the OP said sedan
12-18-2008, 01:58 PM
#97
It might not be as easy to get rid of in the first place given the season, general economy, and the fact that it would be a 1 year old car going on it's third owner. Just saying, you still might end up taking a little bit of a bath in it even if you got a good deal on it. The dealership certainly isn't going to give you what you paid for it 6 months ago...
I'd probably just kill myself if I was forced to live your crappy life anyway
I'd probably just kill myself if I was forced to live your crappy life anyway
Last edited by Brandon24pdx; 12-18-2008 at 02:00 PM.
12-18-2008, 01:59 PM
#98
What Would Don Draper Do?
It might not be as easy to get rid of in the first place given the season, general economy, and the fact that it would be a 1 year old car going on it's third owner. Just saying, you still might end up taking a little bit of a bath in it.
I'd probably just kill myself if I was forced to live your crappy life anyway
I'd probably just kill myself if I was forced to live your crappy life anyway
the fiancee does sound like a potential bridezilla. no offense.
12-18-2008, 02:09 PM
#99
12-18-2008, 02:19 PM
#101
TQ > MPG
The scarier thought is if she has that much influence NOW what will be like when its legally half her's?
I NEVER let my wife give me crap about what I did before we were married. It was not her money and she had no say, same way with how she spent her money. I am 90% of the time very responsible with money, but sometimes I waste it. She has a say now, but even when we were engaged/dating no f'in way.
I NEVER let my wife give me crap about what I did before we were married. It was not her money and she had no say, same way with how she spent her money. I am 90% of the time very responsible with money, but sometimes I waste it. She has a say now, but even when we were engaged/dating no f'in way.
12-18-2008, 05:44 PM
#103
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Maybe i'm not reading what's happening here so well, but what exactly is the reason as to why you need to sell it? 
You're driving a great car, and it's nice that you're willing to compromise to make her happy....but take it from me, you also want to make sure that you yourself are happy too. It's your car, you are going to be the one driving it every day. I don't know you to know how flexible you are with what you drive, but make sure you're going to enjoy it. If you say you can trade it in for almost what you paid for it, then do it. Otherwise I would ride it out and enjoy what you have. Your car is like your job. If you don't like what you do, you'll be miserable while you're there. Same thing goes for a car, IMO..
Side note, if you're doing a lot of driving and want comfort, as good as the fuel economy is, do NOT get a Mini, especially with the Sport Package. Not hating on the car, I happen to love it (it might be my next car, but in JCW form). MAYBE if you do decide to get it, stick w/o sport if you want to keep all your teeth.
2 examples of my wife hating but then loving:
Picked up my bright yellow Scion xB in April 2005. Wife thought it was hideous. It took her a month to get her in the passenger's seat. Then realized how practical it was and how well it suited me, she preferred to leave her BMW home and go in the Scion. Now after selling it she occasionally tells me she misses it.
Picked up my S2000 in August 2006, wife didn't believe me that I was getting it, she thought I was kidding. It was when I brought it home that she realized I wasn't kidding. She didn't talk to me at all that weekend. All it took was one ride, and she was in eternal bliss. My eyes would light up when she would say "let's go out, but can we take the convertible?"
Do what's right. But most certainly don't do it only for her. I might not be married for a very long time (5 1/2 yrs), but I know that much.
You're driving a great car, and it's nice that you're willing to compromise to make her happy....but take it from me, you also want to make sure that you yourself are happy too. It's your car, you are going to be the one driving it every day. I don't know you to know how flexible you are with what you drive, but make sure you're going to enjoy it. If you say you can trade it in for almost what you paid for it, then do it. Otherwise I would ride it out and enjoy what you have. Your car is like your job. If you don't like what you do, you'll be miserable while you're there. Same thing goes for a car, IMO..
Side note, if you're doing a lot of driving and want comfort, as good as the fuel economy is, do NOT get a Mini, especially with the Sport Package. Not hating on the car, I happen to love it (it might be my next car, but in JCW form). MAYBE if you do decide to get it, stick w/o sport if you want to keep all your teeth.
2 examples of my wife hating but then loving:
Picked up my bright yellow Scion xB in April 2005. Wife thought it was hideous. It took her a month to get her in the passenger's seat. Then realized how practical it was and how well it suited me, she preferred to leave her BMW home and go in the Scion. Now after selling it she occasionally tells me she misses it.
Picked up my S2000 in August 2006, wife didn't believe me that I was getting it, she thought I was kidding. It was when I brought it home that she realized I wasn't kidding. She didn't talk to me at all that weekend. All it took was one ride, and she was in eternal bliss. My eyes would light up when she would say "let's go out, but can we take the convertible?"
Do what's right. But most certainly don't do it only for her. I might not be married for a very long time (5 1/2 yrs), but I know that much.
The M3 is a car that anyone on this thread would love to have. Why sacrifice your dream car- the car that makes you happy and is the envy of all men because your girl is unhappy?? I could see if you had kids on the way or something. All of the other cars on the list are not even in the same league as the M3. Let this be your line in the sand dude and don't cross it.
If you want to compromise tell her how much you are going to lose in the sale and pick up a used civic or sentra for like $5k and call it a day. Drive the m3 on the weekend. It will be a whole lot cheaper than the bath you are going to take selling the M3.
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12-19-2008, 01:13 PM
#105
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Eeeesh, after further reading I can see this is kind of a D&R issue. I don't want to say too much because I may come off as rude and that is not my intention at all. I will say that it's your car, your money. There does come some responsibility when choosing a life partner. If your toys (cars, tv, games, hobbies) are taking away from paying bills, buying clothes, food, and so on then she is right.
I highly doubt that is the issue here. If you can afford the car as well as affording a life together then there is no reason to get rid of it. When you go to sign the paper work belive me you will take a loss on it. Especially in todays economy. If YOU feel maybe the car is a bit too expensive and you can work out a DEAL to get something a little less expenive but something that YOU will still enjoy driving everyday then go ahead. There are many options out there (as most have posted here)
Now, don't take offense to this but I feel she is a bit controlling by what you are saying. There are two sides to every story but I'm going by what I'm reading here. Don't let her control the finances. Do what you want with YOUR money, and let her do what she wants with HER money. Of course the two of you will have to set up a budget for the expenses you will be SHARING. That's the area you can't neglect, because then you give her a reason to bitch at you. If she is so dead set on the car being a waste, and too expnesive sell both of your cars, and bring home two 2008 base model Chevy Aveo's. See how she likes that.
"Single for life, happy forever"
I highly doubt that is the issue here. If you can afford the car as well as affording a life together then there is no reason to get rid of it. When you go to sign the paper work belive me you will take a loss on it. Especially in todays economy. If YOU feel maybe the car is a bit too expensive and you can work out a DEAL to get something a little less expenive but something that YOU will still enjoy driving everyday then go ahead. There are many options out there (as most have posted here)
Now, don't take offense to this but I feel she is a bit controlling by what you are saying. There are two sides to every story but I'm going by what I'm reading here. Don't let her control the finances. Do what you want with YOUR money, and let her do what she wants with HER money. Of course the two of you will have to set up a budget for the expenses you will be SHARING. That's the area you can't neglect, because then you give her a reason to bitch at you. If she is so dead set on the car being a waste, and too expnesive sell both of your cars, and bring home two 2008 base model Chevy Aveo's. See how she likes that.
"Single for life, happy forever"
12-19-2008, 01:18 PM
#106
What Would Don Draper Do?
Eeeesh, after further reading I can see this is kind of a D&R issue. I don't want to say too much because I may come off as rude and that is not my intention at all. I will say that it's your car, your money. There does come some responsibility when choosing a life partner. If your toys (cars, tv, games, hobbies) are taking away from paying bills, buying clothes, food, and so on then she is right.
I highly doubt that is the issue here. If you can afford the car as well as affording a life together then there is no reason to get rid of it. When you go to sign the paper work belive me you will take a loss on it. Especially in todays economy. If YOU feel maybe the car is a bit too expensive and you can work out a DEAL to get something a little less expenive but something that YOU will still enjoy driving everyday then go ahead. There are many options out there (as most have posted here)
Now, don't take offense to this but I feel she is a bit controlling by what you are saying. There are two sides to every story but I'm going by what I'm reading here. Don't let her control the finances. Do what you want with YOUR money, and let her do what she wants with HER money. Of course the two of you will have to set up a budget for the expenses you will be SHARING. That's the area you can't neglect, because then you give her a reason to bitch at you. If she is so dead set on the car being a waste, and too expnesive sell both of your cars, and bring home two 2008 base model Chevy Aveo's. See how she likes that.
"Single for life, happy forever"
I highly doubt that is the issue here. If you can afford the car as well as affording a life together then there is no reason to get rid of it. When you go to sign the paper work belive me you will take a loss on it. Especially in todays economy. If YOU feel maybe the car is a bit too expensive and you can work out a DEAL to get something a little less expenive but something that YOU will still enjoy driving everyday then go ahead. There are many options out there (as most have posted here)
Now, don't take offense to this but I feel she is a bit controlling by what you are saying. There are two sides to every story but I'm going by what I'm reading here. Don't let her control the finances. Do what you want with YOUR money, and let her do what she wants with HER money. Of course the two of you will have to set up a budget for the expenses you will be SHARING. That's the area you can't neglect, because then you give her a reason to bitch at you. If she is so dead set on the car being a waste, and too expnesive sell both of your cars, and bring home two 2008 base model Chevy Aveo's. See how she likes that.
"Single for life, happy forever"
what really caught my attention was when the OP said buying the car was another example of him "defying her". wtf?
she better be the princess of avalon or something.
12-19-2008, 01:26 PM
#107
Suzuka Master
To the OP i have 3 words of advice, "separate bank accounts".
12-19-2008, 01:34 PM
#109
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12-19-2008, 02:52 PM
#112
Senior Moderator
Keep Car, dump girl...
I might be missing something here, but why can't you keep both ??
Sure, buying the M3 probably wasn't the best financial decision for someone that's going to get married, but now that you've got it, you're going to eat the depreciation on it whether you keep it or not...
I might be missing something here, but why can't you keep both ??
Sure, buying the M3 probably wasn't the best financial decision for someone that's going to get married, but now that you've got it, you're going to eat the depreciation on it whether you keep it or not...
12-19-2008, 03:02 PM
#113
Suzuka Master
The most disconcerting theme about this situation is that the act of getting rid of the M3 is the OP's way of professing his commitment to the relationship. Inconceivable!
12-19-2008, 04:24 PM
#115
Suzuka Master
12-25-2008, 07:31 PM
#117
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Nonetheless, I've decided to defer the decision to get rid of the car until it becomes an issue again. We've been on VERY shaky ground lately - plenty of it has to do with me, so I'm simply being overly cautious with what I do in the relationship.
I actually wanted to get rid of the car after last week. Check out this pic.
This was from last Friday's snow storm. I had a 10am appointment in North Jersey that ran later than expected. This was the accumulation by 1 or 2. I would have normally stayed home with snow, but my original intent was to shoot back home right after the appointment to beat the storm. Ended up staying the night at a hotel.
