We all know that Brabus is quite capable of re-engineering, nay, re-manufacturing Mercedes Benz product into some of the most devastating street-sleeper road weaponry on sale today.

We all know that if you simply can't live without a 6.0-litre V12 Biturbo G-Wagen or 600bhp CLS and have a penchant for the colour black, you'll want to be heading to Bottrop in Germany for a spot of fettling with the Brabus magic hammer.

Anything, they say, is possible. Which is presumably why the Unimog Black Edition even exists.

Based on the U500 Unimog, the 'Black Edition' is basically the world's best non-tracked off-roader given an injection of comfort, modernity and bling. The shiny stuff is easy to spot - a polished rollover hoop six-feet high, upswept chrome exhausts, a shiny chequer plated rear deck. Subtle as Vegas neon, then.

Inside it's been re-trimmed entirely in black leather (obviously) with white piping (great in the mud is white piping) and more interior kit than you'd be used to seeing in a trad 'Mog. There's the 'COMAND' operations console from a Merc S-class nestling in the centre console for a start, a pair of DVD screens, heated seats, even cupholders.

And yes, lots and lots of carbon fibre. Obviously when you take 11,995kg out for a spin, you need to know that the grab handles are weight-managed in the style of Paris Fashion Week.

Brutally pointless, yes, but it's great fun to drive; this is the same 6.4-litre six that powers the more utilitarian versions, so that means just 286bhp, 811lb ft and decent gearing driving all four. Tyres can be deflated and re-inflated at will from the cab with the central tyre inflation system - handy when parking in Tesco, or getting under low bridges.

Gearselection is either via a pre-selector clutch (you pick a gear with the gearlever and the next time you dip the clutch, it engages) or a simple sequential lever to pick any of the 8 road-use ratios. You can change up 8 times in reverse and this never fails to be funny - though it does get progressively more dangerous.

It really works - especially on these less aggressively off-road tyres - think of this as a kind of Sports Lorry, a Unimog Gti. The all-round vision is excellent, and as the 'Mog traditionally carries its weight low to make it better off-road, it rolls and wobbles far less than you might expect when you first pitch up in the cabin seven feet in the air.

The brochure says it's for 'special occasions', and at £160k those occasions would have to be fairly regular and very special. A toy for the man who has everything it looks like - and by 'everything' we mean people who have people that have people that employ subcontractors to speak with your people.

Unsurprisingly, the few that Brabus will make are headed for the Middle East, where they will probably be dune-bashed until they break, which will be never.

It's not fast. But who cares? It's not pretty, but who cares? There is no point, but who cares? If you want the ultimate Range Rover Sport-worrier, this is it. Where do we sign?