so how many of you guys had to ask your gal's parents for permission/approval/blessing to propose?

i am trying to organize a proposal and would like to give her parents a heads up, except the problem is, they are in another country. I think it is cheesy to have to do it via email/phone.

thoughts??

 

doing over phone>doing it over email>not doing it

 

My in-laws still don't know I'm married to my wife.....

 

I think telling her parents your intentions to propose are great. Obviously with them being out of the country you can't do it in person so over the phone would have to be the next best thing...Is it possible to arrange a video conference with them? Just a suggestion.. but the phone will work just fine.

I'm sure you have heard this over and over...You have your whole life ahead of you man just don't rush into anything. If you think you're ready then I wish you two the best, however, if there are any second thoughts it doesn't hurt to wait.

 

let the girl tell the parents she is getting married, and you just invite them to the wedding

But if it is a traditional family, over the phone, or make a little video and send it to them.. Make it together, they will be thrilled to see it.

 

mail order bride?

 

Just make sure you send the right vid.

I'd call. Email wouldn't cut it IMO.

 

Call, but do it close enough to the day you plan on asking that you can propose before the parents have a chance to call their daughter and forbid her from marrying you

BTW, have you met them before? Do they like you? Do you forsee any issues?

Good luck and let us know how the talk and the proposal go.

 

denial != uninformed

 

good luck

 

That's a great Hallmark card.....very heart-warming for someone who plans on getting engaged.

 

yeah i have met them multiple times... they have come to the states a few times and her and i took a trip to Australia this past February... and we vacationed with her parents for a week around the country...

i don't forsee any issues...

going ring shopping this weekend...

 

Over phone is cool. They're Aussies so they'll be chill anyways I hope. From Sydney or Melbourne?

 

Melbourne...

but i wouldn't mind moving to Sydney... the weather is a bit too volatile for me in Melbourne... Queensland FTW though!!!

 

F-ck. Queensland has the best surf (Kirra, Gold Coast, etc). Plus sick ass scuba diving off the Great Barrier Reef. I'm possibly going to Sydney this fall, but leaning more towards Rio, Brazil. My boys who have been to Sydney say it's pretty sick though, Bondi and Manley beaches FTW!

 

I did it over dinner... wow was that crazy!

You will look back and swear youre DA MANG for doing it... things started rite.... just stay rite...

Phone, if done with taste will still have that unnerving, yet satisfying feeling... you'll know what I'm talking about when you're in da mix...

God Bless yall!

 

Kam, I really think you should do a rehearsed video of the real thing. Easy to do, and very thoughtful. A sure keepsake for them, and big props for you! That way, they can feel they were a part of it! Good luck man!

Note: Just tell them not to open it and play it until the day you plan to do it! It will seem as if they are right there! Play it safe and give your parents a copy too!

 

Manley Beach is nice... just a ferry ride from Circular Quay... i will go to CAines next year when we visit again... also try to go out to the Outback...

yeah when we were there, we rented a service apt at surfers paradise... gotta say the gold coast is beautiful... defintiely paradise... i liked it so much i almost bought a house about 10km from the shore....except i didn't because being a overseas owner, they have stricter rules...

once we get married, ill look into a dual citizenship if possible...

 

that is actually a pretty kewl idea... but i am so camera shy... i would prob fcuk it up and keep stumbling over myself...

 

Hells ya bro! Then I can come and visit

 

I asked when I got married - excellent idea and a classy thing to do.

I'd write him a hand-written letter (NOT e-mail) and say in the letter you'll call to follow up. Hand written letters these days really say a lot (I think). I think most parents would be impressed by that.

 

right now, u r free to come to Melbourne... my other half has a house...

give me a few years for the QSL house...

 

Given that her parents live in another country, talking to them over the phone is the best bet. That's what my husband did.

And yeah, you can always write a card later to thank them for their blessings.

 

That's awesome man. When I get serious enough with a girl to want to propose to her I would definitely seek her parents blessing and approval prior to it and find the most personal way to go about it.

I think a hand written letter with a follow up phone call would be great if timed right. Good luck!

 

I didn't ask. They don't hold it against me.

 

I didn't ask, I took their enthusiasm and willingness to move her into my house a year prior was consent enough.

 

Not that I've had any experience personally, but I would say yes, you should at least give the parents a call. That's what my sisters significant other did. My parents appreciated it. He didn't have to, but I think it just kind of looks good.

 

I went to my in-laws house that is in a different country and sat down with her dad first.

Then her mom...

It was the best decision I made since they are from a different background.

 

the problem is i am broke from closing on the house... i can't free up $2k for a flight down under... if it was any other situation, i would have definitely lied and snuck away for a week...

 

What if they say no?

 

power...

 

Hmmm...wow...good question...how bout it?

 

i would doubt they would say no as they kind of suspect that this is in the pipeline... but if it were to happen i would question them on their objection as to the basis of their denial... but zguy has a good point, if they were to say no, it is ultimately her decision and i probably would ask her anyway... i don't see their denial me stopping them unless they know that she will say no and saves me my face...

but i spend the last few hours ring shopping... this thing is going to be burning a hole in my pocket for the next two weeks until i am able to ask her...

it's a teaser... for now...

 

Way to go Kam! I wouldn't let a lil "parental discretion" slow me down either! Hahaha! I mean, I would love it if everyone was onboard, but if not...ehhhh...lol!

Way to go on the ring too mang! I'm a sucker for romance! (sniff)

 

I drove to my fiancee's fathers business and asked him for his permission.

 

Are they Cambos? If so, just show them a big @ssed dowry and they will be honky dory.

Before I got married, I quickly asked her dad. I think he knew it was going to happen, but it's just old school classy to ask permission.

 

I actually called my in-laws to be the night I bought the ring. I was traveling out of the country at the time and the idea to propose was a totally spur of the moment decision. They appreciated the gesture a great deal and approved without hesitation.

If nothing else, it doesn't hurt you to do it. The parents are more likely to appreciate that you respect them enough to seek their opinion before making such a huge life decision.

 

oh god i am so confused... so i spoke to my parents about it seeing as how they are also pretty traditional...

my dad is telling me that she should be the first person i ask since it is her ultimate decision alone... if she accepts then we (all four of us) will call down under to her parents and the oldies will talk the senior stuff, while we just have to worry about the junior stuff...

but last week my mom popped into my room and asked me if i were going to call her father and give him a heads up that i plan on proposing... i am so confused...

 

Does this mean you don't have your own place yet?

As a rule I try not to ask questions that someone might answer "no" to.

 

I think asking is more a sign of respect than anything.

Whether or not you actually care is they say yes is a different matter.