Grampa passed away this morning need $ for funeral :(
03-17-2008, 11:08 AM
#1
Volvo Defector
Thread Starter
Grampa passed away this morning need $ for funeral :(
--I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH--
Hey fellow Acurazine members.. I like to think of you guys as family as everyone is a tight group here.. my family is really struggling with this. My grandfather passed away this morning at 5:30am in Saint Michael's Medical Center in Newark, NJ. His name is Gus Ferro. He worked hard all his life in a steel factory until he was diagnosed with emphysema when he was 62 and was forced into early retirement a few years ago. He had no life insurance, medicaid, 401k, etc. so all funeral arrangements(or lack thereof right now) will all be out of our pockets. It's a small family and we too are feeling the effects of the crappy economy right now.
He was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 2.5 years ago. He was started on radiation treatment for it when they inserted the radiation pellets into his prostate. He was doing good and was in remission but recently has turned for the worst.
He went to the doctor a few weeks ago and he lost 18lbs. He's retired, had arthritis with his legs, and never really left his home so he didn't really get any exercise. The weight loss was a big red flag. Additionally, he had no appetite, had a hard time falling asleep, yet he never complained about pain. But he would limp around and groan when sitting/standing, etc. whenever asked what's wrong he would reply with something to the extent of oh nothing just leave me alone. Just to give a quick time line
Tuesday my grandmother finally convinced him to go to the hospital because he almost collapsed trying to get out of the bedroom. They sat in the ER for 6 hours, went in at 12pm, and was admitted at around 6pm and they started doing tests on him and noticed he was a bit yellow skinned. Additionally he had very high blood pressure(182/109) and a fast heart rate.(130+ bpm) After a couple of days of testing(and medication to try and regulate his blood pressure), they did a CAT scan thursday afternoon and found a mass on his liver.
Thursday night he was doing okay, was sitting up in the bed, poured his own coffee, sugar, milk, etc. Didn't like the dinner they brought in except for the macaroni & cheese which he ate. Visiting hours ended at 10pm so we were going to go back the next day.
Friday morning, got a phone call from the hospital. They were rushing him to the ICU because he passed out. After further examination of his CAT scans, they found more masses. On his lungs, liver, 3 on his brain which were bleeding internally, and his bones. In other words, it spread everywhere. The 3 on his brain that were bleeding explained the high blood pressure, his body was trying to compensate.
He pretty much went into a coma at that point and was heavily sedated. They put him on Fentalyn, which after we googled, wikipedia said its used on cancer patients and is 80 times stronger than morphine.
Since then, we've been visiting him non stop all weekend long. Like I said, no life insurance, 401k, nothing, it's all up to the family and we're a small family. We WOULD like to have an open casket viewing at bare minimum for the funeral service but as of right now we put together enough funds just for the cremation which is about $1000. The funeral homes pretty much wont do an open casket(obviously) without embalming first. This plus the 2 hour funeral service & casket renting gets expensive. Pickup from hospital + embalming + casket rental + 2 hour funeral service + cremation is about $6000. So far we've put together $1000.
I'm posting this in every forum I have an account on and every chat room that I'm a regular in practically begging for any help for us to go through with this. Believe me when I say it's hard to swallow. So PLEASE, any donations will be greatly appreciated, even if it's just $5, $10, or $20. My paypal address is compaholic@gmail.com
THANK YOU
Hey fellow Acurazine members.. I like to think of you guys as family as everyone is a tight group here.. my family is really struggling with this. My grandfather passed away this morning at 5:30am in Saint Michael's Medical Center in Newark, NJ. His name is Gus Ferro. He worked hard all his life in a steel factory until he was diagnosed with emphysema when he was 62 and was forced into early retirement a few years ago. He had no life insurance, medicaid, 401k, etc. so all funeral arrangements(or lack thereof right now) will all be out of our pockets. It's a small family and we too are feeling the effects of the crappy economy right now.
He was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 2.5 years ago. He was started on radiation treatment for it when they inserted the radiation pellets into his prostate. He was doing good and was in remission but recently has turned for the worst.
He went to the doctor a few weeks ago and he lost 18lbs. He's retired, had arthritis with his legs, and never really left his home so he didn't really get any exercise. The weight loss was a big red flag. Additionally, he had no appetite, had a hard time falling asleep, yet he never complained about pain. But he would limp around and groan when sitting/standing, etc. whenever asked what's wrong he would reply with something to the extent of oh nothing just leave me alone. Just to give a quick time line
Tuesday my grandmother finally convinced him to go to the hospital because he almost collapsed trying to get out of the bedroom. They sat in the ER for 6 hours, went in at 12pm, and was admitted at around 6pm and they started doing tests on him and noticed he was a bit yellow skinned. Additionally he had very high blood pressure(182/109) and a fast heart rate.(130+ bpm) After a couple of days of testing(and medication to try and regulate his blood pressure), they did a CAT scan thursday afternoon and found a mass on his liver.
Thursday night he was doing okay, was sitting up in the bed, poured his own coffee, sugar, milk, etc. Didn't like the dinner they brought in except for the macaroni & cheese which he ate. Visiting hours ended at 10pm so we were going to go back the next day.
Friday morning, got a phone call from the hospital. They were rushing him to the ICU because he passed out. After further examination of his CAT scans, they found more masses. On his lungs, liver, 3 on his brain which were bleeding internally, and his bones. In other words, it spread everywhere. The 3 on his brain that were bleeding explained the high blood pressure, his body was trying to compensate.
He pretty much went into a coma at that point and was heavily sedated. They put him on Fentalyn, which after we googled, wikipedia said its used on cancer patients and is 80 times stronger than morphine.
Since then, we've been visiting him non stop all weekend long. Like I said, no life insurance, 401k, nothing, it's all up to the family and we're a small family. We WOULD like to have an open casket viewing at bare minimum for the funeral service but as of right now we put together enough funds just for the cremation which is about $1000. The funeral homes pretty much wont do an open casket(obviously) without embalming first. This plus the 2 hour funeral service & casket renting gets expensive. Pickup from hospital + embalming + casket rental + 2 hour funeral service + cremation is about $6000. So far we've put together $1000.
I'm posting this in every forum I have an account on and every chat room that I'm a regular in practically begging for any help for us to go through with this. Believe me when I say it's hard to swallow. So PLEASE, any donations will be greatly appreciated, even if it's just $5, $10, or $20. My paypal address is compaholic@gmail.com
THANK YOU
03-17-2008, 11:17 AM
#2
Volvo Defector
Thread Starter
also, to the admins/mods... i wanted to post this into the OFF TOPIC section but it said that forum was closed... so please move this if you want to the appropriate thread.. im a 3rd Gen owner soo this is what feels more like home to me 
03-17-2008, 11:20 AM
#3
Your Friendly Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Toronto, Ontario
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I'm really, REALLY sorry to hear that. I know what it feels like. My dad passed away when I was almost 9. I'm only 15, a guy with absolutely NO money, but believe me, I would give as much as as I had if I could.
03-17-2008, 11:34 AM
#4
Volvo Defector
Thread Starter
Fyre man: im sorry to hear that man.. it sucks when losing someone so close and even more so when they go alone.. in this case, he went in his sleep overnight.. but even though he's been in a coma these past few days, we've been talking to him about old times and everything..
The first person that donated was in a chatroom on IRC im a regular in.. he donated $100.... i told my mother(it was her dad that passed) and she started tearing
The first person that donated was in a chatroom on IRC im a regular in.. he donated $100.... i told my mother(it was her dad that passed) and she started tearing
03-17-2008, 11:35 AM
#5
Let's Go Pens
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hamilton, NJ
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reddog...I feel your pain I really do. As some of my close pals from here know I lost my grandmother who was basically my mother back on 12/23 and it was completely unexpected.. We also were in the very same boat as you because like all families we have our own expenses and times are tough. I'm not sure the mods will let this one stay open but I just want you to know my heart goes out to you and your family. Keep your head up and I wish you the best in these tough times. The funeral homes won't tell you but the state offers assistance for exactly this type of situtation. I'm sure if you mention this to the funeral home they will atleast point you in the right direction. Also, if you look in the phonebook there should be several places that will do the embalming/viewing etc privately.. It's not a large funeral home but actually privately ran and sometimes even state funded... this is just a couple options for your family to look into. The hospital might even be able to provide some guidance on where to begin.
03-17-2008, 11:44 AM
#6
Volvo Defector
Thread Starter
Evader: thank you for your sympathy... and im sorry for your loss... the same thing happened to us. everything happened so damn fast.. it was like, he was up and talking one night and the morning after boom... he was just gone, couldnt talk to him or anything
I'm hoping the admins/mods dont kill the thread.. i posted his name, hospital, and time of death in case anyone wants to confirm to make sure im not ripping anyone off.. any and every donation is greatly appreciated big or small
I'm hoping the admins/mods dont kill the thread.. i posted his name, hospital, and time of death in case anyone wants to confirm to make sure im not ripping anyone off.. any and every donation is greatly appreciated big or small
03-17-2008, 12:31 PM
#7
Red- prayers to your family for strength in this difficult time.
I am guessing your family is religous since a viewing is important to you.
Then- I would suggest asking your church first, ask them for help- and all cost will be covered.
If not regular members- thats not important to them, the church is there to help in crisis of all type. They may also have deals with funeral homes at reduced rates
Funeral homes are a business and wont tell you about help for low income, SS death benefits ($600) and the local outreach programs
If you really insist on a viewing- which isnt always a great idea after a long illness, and the amount of special make-up they must apply to make the body look good ( I have assisted in the procedure on my Aunt- never again)
talk with the churches in the area, any groups- military groups or similar that grandpa may have been involved with. They will all step up to help a member of their group.
As the Prayer takes its flight- May the rain of Blessings Fall upon You
Aloha~
I am guessing your family is religous since a viewing is important to you.
Then- I would suggest asking your church first, ask them for help- and all cost will be covered.
If not regular members- thats not important to them, the church is there to help in crisis of all type. They may also have deals with funeral homes at reduced rates
Funeral homes are a business and wont tell you about help for low income, SS death benefits ($600) and the local outreach programs
If you really insist on a viewing- which isnt always a great idea after a long illness, and the amount of special make-up they must apply to make the body look good ( I have assisted in the procedure on my Aunt- never again)
talk with the churches in the area, any groups- military groups or similar that grandpa may have been involved with. They will all step up to help a member of their group.
As the Prayer takes its flight- May the rain of Blessings Fall upon You
Aloha~
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