Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
01-26-2004, 03:38 PM
#41
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Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Originally posted by silveraccord
Frankly, dealing with all of this myself, I think the institution of marriage isn't the problem its what everyone tells you the institution is supposed to be. IE the wedding industry. It's worse than Hallmark.
My wedding will cost as much as a new TL. And the very next day I'll have nothing, absolutely nothing to show for the expenditure (mind you not the marriage, the wedding day hoopla). Interestingly enough, I know many people in my field who are set for life financially who joke about how bad their weddings were, and how cheap they did it. I suppose it breads the thought in my mind that those who focus on the marriage of two people, don't care about how they get married, what rings they got, how big the wedding was, the temperature of the brie during the hors de ovures.
Somedays I seem like the only voice of reason, asking why we need this or that. And I'll tell you, if it was the extravagance, instead of my fiance's huge family and friends, I'd be gone.
Problem being all these people, especially the ones talking to the poor bride, are telling her that she needs this, or needs that, and must have this or its not a real wedding. Like Jagger says "Jimmy can't be a man 'cause he don't smoke the same cigarettes as me." Utter BS. The important person is the woman or the man you're marrying and the life you have.
REts has it down pat, and I don't think he knows it. The problem is when you fall victim to the BS, you make these accomodations. Ok, I can swing 1000 on the credit card here, or, uh ok, we can spend this 1000 here. And you forget where and what you spent. That is where you get into the snowball Rets was talking about. Then think most divorces are about money. Rets is a philosopher and doesn't know it.
If you're selling the TL to do this in cash, and what you're doing is something you can afford and believe is truly for you, do it. If its for someone else, if its bc you THINK or HAVE BEEN TOLD thats what you're supposed to do, don't do it.
Good luck man, keep me posted. You and I will have a lot in common over the next 9 months. Either way, sounds like you really do have your priorities straight.
Frankly, dealing with all of this myself, I think the institution of marriage isn't the problem its what everyone tells you the institution is supposed to be. IE the wedding industry. It's worse than Hallmark.
My wedding will cost as much as a new TL. And the very next day I'll have nothing, absolutely nothing to show for the expenditure (mind you not the marriage, the wedding day hoopla). Interestingly enough, I know many people in my field who are set for life financially who joke about how bad their weddings were, and how cheap they did it. I suppose it breads the thought in my mind that those who focus on the marriage of two people, don't care about how they get married, what rings they got, how big the wedding was, the temperature of the brie during the hors de ovures.
Somedays I seem like the only voice of reason, asking why we need this or that. And I'll tell you, if it was the extravagance, instead of my fiance's huge family and friends, I'd be gone.
Problem being all these people, especially the ones talking to the poor bride, are telling her that she needs this, or needs that, and must have this or its not a real wedding. Like Jagger says "Jimmy can't be a man 'cause he don't smoke the same cigarettes as me." Utter BS. The important person is the woman or the man you're marrying and the life you have.
REts has it down pat, and I don't think he knows it. The problem is when you fall victim to the BS, you make these accomodations. Ok, I can swing 1000 on the credit card here, or, uh ok, we can spend this 1000 here. And you forget where and what you spent. That is where you get into the snowball Rets was talking about. Then think most divorces are about money. Rets is a philosopher and doesn't know it.
If you're selling the TL to do this in cash, and what you're doing is something you can afford and believe is truly for you, do it. If its for someone else, if its bc you THINK or HAVE BEEN TOLD thats what you're supposed to do, don't do it.
Good luck man, keep me posted. You and I will have a lot in common over the next 9 months. Either way, sounds like you really do have your priorities straight.
Silveraccord,
Well said. I always respect and concur your posts, but not this time. The credit, loan, and snowballs I described above may sound like cliche. After your inputs, it seems you¡¦re the one here perceptive to the true life (at least more than me). You¡¦re down-to-earth person, according to the grapevine I¡¦m not.
IMHO, ppl themselves ought to adjudicate whether those institution of wedding is worth or not, I assent to it, too. They, ¡§what everyone tells you the institution is supposed to be¡¨, ain¡¦t all BS though, except you¡¦re single-handedly for your following life or you have latter terrific prospect. Those BS are all about what you believe and what your true value is.
You can have your marriage notarized by the court with you 2 couple, too, with only merely dozens of dollars, equal to 2-3 tanks of fuel of 04TL. But, for example, probably one of BS you think they are, if families look ahead to your wedding ambience and you¡¦re able to go in quest of the expenses with ease, that¡¦s the thing you may have to consider. Most of those nuptials and ritual of Wedding are purposeful and persistent in some points of views, especially to the families and those you think they¡¦re really important to you. When ppl think of the great value of spending that money on wedding, it¡¦s not BS to them, only BS to those who believe it¡¦s wrong, under your theory.
If ppl have way to buy 04TL, ppl could unearth the way to dispose of that matrimony. To be bound to the ideas how much ppl should spend in their wedding and honeymoon is awful, it¡¦s also incorrigible to be hellbent to consecrate or enshrine your car.
By theories, if ppl intend to be in agreement with what they want, ppl could leave nothing to their daughters just because Bride necessarily paying the wedding is BS.
Whatever he wanna do, I have great esteem for his final decision. He could criticise his own values beyond those BS we¡¦re talking about. If he has to do it, the cash value of 04TL/property/securities is straightaway out there. We¡¦re sure some certain amount of money, like $4-5k plus Tax will be gone if he conclude to sell 04TL then buy 05/06TL afterwards, he has his way to gulp it down, that¡¦s not our business. He decides whatever he likes to do with his possessions, and here is not the battlefield only one-side can win it all. Well said, ¡§Marriage is almost as controversial a topic as claiming you raced a G35¡¨.
Why divorces? Most of divorces are not caused by money as you stated, it¡¦s just ¡§because I don¡¦t want to be married anymore!¡¨, by Richard L Zorek.
We shouldn¡¦t have any problems to each other about 04TL, but there are some contradicts between us about the tradition and how to exploit money in wedding. Silence means consent, I was ghastly as you whispered, I felt rets was the dreadful guy in your reply, thus that¡¦s why I have to lecture to it in addition to your post.
Good luck to you.
P.S. Actually, I really like him to keep his car if this is also what he loves. It's so hard to get back to school after starting to work, and difficult to get another new toy after marriage.
I like what bollywood21 said... but, if I have to give up something to get the life done, the decision has to be made...
01-26-2004, 04:17 PM
#42
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No longer the wife's family paying
Today the wife's family seldom pays for the wedding. Usually (myself and most of my friends) paid for our own wedding/Honeymoon. Even if they did, once you get done with the ring (3 months salary B4 taxes) and the honeymoon, you could still drop $15 to $20K. In either case, she's going to be YOUR wife. Ask her if what she REALLY wants is to start out in debt? If people want to influence her that she needs X and Y, then have her ask them how THEY would pay for it. It's not about the money. It's about how much of a ***** they can become after 5 years of being in the drivers seat (A number of my friends are devorced). Personally, I waited until I was 30 to marry and was probably one of the smartest things I've EVER done. If your under 30 and getting married get advice from older guys on what's important as you get older.
01-26-2004, 04:21 PM
#43
I'd try everything to keep the car, simply because - now that you went out and bought it (you're right - timing was perhaps not great) - it's a smarter financial decision.... if you can swing it.
Is it the engagement ring that's going to cost you? You don't need to spend a fortune - most people cannot tell a difference between an exceptional diamond and a nice one. And, unless your wife-to-be is a large (tall or otherwise) woman, I'd also suggest getting a higher quality diamond that is .85c - .95c in size because EVERYONE "wants" 1carat so they are way overpriced (to me). And at that size, only a jeweler would know it's not 1 carat. Trust me on that one. Also check out www.bluenile.com (if you buy retail, expect to pay a lot more). And forget about that 3months salary crap as it's only a guideline - get one that you know she'll love AND that you can afford.
If it's the wedding that'll cost you, then consider asking for gifts from both your parents if you can. Whoever said that the bride's family pays for everything: what century are you living in :-) ? Also consider a smaller, more intimate wedding (doesn't have to mean low quality). My wedding in Sept 03 had a guest list of 50 people. We went for quality over quantity, but I know that isn't always a choice. Just remember it is YOUR wedding - esp. if you two are paying for it, and even if you aren't!! If you aren't happy with the wedding (and I encourage you to participate in the planning - try using www.theknot.com), you could regret it for the rest of your lives.
If it's the honeymoon, well, there are always various options here. You could always scale back, or celebrate with a mini-honeymoon somewhere special (like a 5-star hotel/spa), but postpone the "big" honeymoon for a little while. Also, you're better off picking someplace you both want to go as opposed to someplace everyone goes - if it's the same, then so be it. Also, if you plan the honeymoon for the shoulder seasons (or even off-season), your overall expense will decrease. We spent 2.5 weeks in Tuscany in the month of October and it was AMAZING.
She sounds very supportive and fantastic since she stood by you while you bought it. If there is not choice because of finances, then dump the car - cars are replaceable, a truly loving woman you want to marry generally aren't :-)
best of luck!
(I got married when I was 29, and we'd been together for 6 years, so your mileage may very with the advice/tips above!!)
Is it the engagement ring that's going to cost you? You don't need to spend a fortune - most people cannot tell a difference between an exceptional diamond and a nice one. And, unless your wife-to-be is a large (tall or otherwise) woman, I'd also suggest getting a higher quality diamond that is .85c - .95c in size because EVERYONE "wants" 1carat so they are way overpriced (to me). And at that size, only a jeweler would know it's not 1 carat. Trust me on that one. Also check out www.bluenile.com (if you buy retail, expect to pay a lot more). And forget about that 3months salary crap as it's only a guideline - get one that you know she'll love AND that you can afford.
If it's the wedding that'll cost you, then consider asking for gifts from both your parents if you can. Whoever said that the bride's family pays for everything: what century are you living in :-) ? Also consider a smaller, more intimate wedding (doesn't have to mean low quality). My wedding in Sept 03 had a guest list of 50 people. We went for quality over quantity, but I know that isn't always a choice. Just remember it is YOUR wedding - esp. if you two are paying for it, and even if you aren't!! If you aren't happy with the wedding (and I encourage you to participate in the planning - try using www.theknot.com), you could regret it for the rest of your lives.
If it's the honeymoon, well, there are always various options here. You could always scale back, or celebrate with a mini-honeymoon somewhere special (like a 5-star hotel/spa), but postpone the "big" honeymoon for a little while. Also, you're better off picking someplace you both want to go as opposed to someplace everyone goes - if it's the same, then so be it. Also, if you plan the honeymoon for the shoulder seasons (or even off-season), your overall expense will decrease. We spent 2.5 weeks in Tuscany in the month of October and it was AMAZING.
She sounds very supportive and fantastic since she stood by you while you bought it. If there is not choice because of finances, then dump the car - cars are replaceable, a truly loving woman you want to marry generally aren't :-)
best of luck!
(I got married when I was 29, and we'd been together for 6 years, so your mileage may very with the advice/tips above!!)
01-26-2004, 05:55 PM
#44
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You are losing thousands by selling the car. You have to take THAT into the equation.
Sell the Civic, and use that money to make some or all of the payments. In this case, having 2 cars does not make sense. Also, the TL is safer. You say that you can get another one next YEAR? So you are only talking about the cost difference for a year?
SELL THE CIVIC AND USE THE MONEY!
Sell the Civic, and use that money to make some or all of the payments. In this case, having 2 cars does not make sense. Also, the TL is safer. You say that you can get another one next YEAR? So you are only talking about the cost difference for a year?
SELL THE CIVIC AND USE THE MONEY!
01-26-2004, 06:40 PM
#45
A.K.A. Karl Hungus
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Uh oh, once again, I think I've proven what I think I'm saying, I'm not really saying.
Rets, my comments about your words being prophetic I meant as a complement. That you were wise beyond your years in your statement. I was agreeing with you. I believe your comments to be highly accurate, and by NO MEANS did I mean to imply you or your comments, ideas, or perspective is or are in any way inferior to mine.
Your post does not indicate to me in any way that you are as you said dreadful. I must have crafted my words poorly, and I apologize.
Guess I'm just trying to say a marriage in a shack with the right woman is better than a marriage by the Pope in the Vatican with the wrong woman.
But Rets is right, tradition is very important, and I did not mean to demean it. His post does the value of tradition more justice than mine.
Rets, my comments about your words being prophetic I meant as a complement. That you were wise beyond your years in your statement. I was agreeing with you. I believe your comments to be highly accurate, and by NO MEANS did I mean to imply you or your comments, ideas, or perspective is or are in any way inferior to mine.
Your post does not indicate to me in any way that you are as you said dreadful. I must have crafted my words poorly, and I apologize.
Guess I'm just trying to say a marriage in a shack with the right woman is better than a marriage by the Pope in the Vatican with the wrong woman.
But Rets is right, tradition is very important, and I did not mean to demean it. His post does the value of tradition more justice than mine.
01-26-2004, 06:47 PM
#46
Team Owner
A few thoughts and experiences here from a person who partially funded his wedding:
1) Set a budget and stick to it. Anyone who says "you must have this" gets told it's not in the budget, but if they'd like to pay for it you'd be glad to have it. We did this a few times and more often than not the suggesters did pay! If they didn't, it wasn't in the wedding.
2) If you don't go absolutely nuts with the wedding, you should come out ahead at the end with the gifts.
3) You don't have to honeymoon right away, or anything else. We took our honeymoon after 7 years.
4) I've read that most marriages end due to money problems. Don't strap yourself for anything, be it a car, wedding, house, or honeymoon. You need all the help you can give yourself. The wedding is just one day, the intense joy of which is quickly forgotten. (Added: After it's done, it won't matter if the flowers were $100 or $10000. None of that will affect your day-to-day life.)
Mike
1) Set a budget and stick to it. Anyone who says "you must have this" gets told it's not in the budget, but if they'd like to pay for it you'd be glad to have it. We did this a few times and more often than not the suggesters did pay! If they didn't, it wasn't in the wedding.
2) If you don't go absolutely nuts with the wedding, you should come out ahead at the end with the gifts.
3) You don't have to honeymoon right away, or anything else. We took our honeymoon after 7 years.
4) I've read that most marriages end due to money problems. Don't strap yourself for anything, be it a car, wedding, house, or honeymoon. You need all the help you can give yourself. The wedding is just one day, the intense joy of which is quickly forgotten. (Added: After it's done, it won't matter if the flowers were $100 or $10000. None of that will affect your day-to-day life.)
Mike
01-26-2004, 06:59 PM
#47
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JATFQ.
jphill0 is an adult and came to his own decision. He knows all the details and is the only one who can make this decision.
Being an economist by training, if you are having trouble selling something, it is for one reason only - the price is too high.
Speaking with a dealer, many people don't want more than 9 miles on the car when they take delivery.
Don
jphill0 is an adult and came to his own decision. He knows all the details and is the only one who can make this decision.
Being an economist by training, if you are having trouble selling something, it is for one reason only - the price is too high.
Speaking with a dealer, many people don't want more than 9 miles on the car when they take delivery.
Don
01-26-2004, 07:12 PM
#48
Dr. TLS
jphill0,
I didn't read this whole thread. Only read your first post. All I have to say is you're lucky man! Go ahead and sell the car and have your wedding if you want. You'll lose some money but the TL is hot right now and you'll get as much back as you ever will. Just remember to save up around $50,000 because a badas$ 300hp or 400hp all-wheel-drive RL sedan will soon be rolling into showrooms. I'd get me one of those as soon as you can! :drooling:
I didn't read this whole thread. Only read your first post. All I have to say is you're lucky man! Go ahead and sell the car and have your wedding if you want. You'll lose some money but the TL is hot right now and you'll get as much back as you ever will. Just remember to save up around $50,000 because a badas$ 300hp or 400hp all-wheel-drive RL sedan will soon be rolling into showrooms. I'd get me one of those as soon as you can! :drooling:
01-26-2004, 07:16 PM
#49
Moderator Alumnus
Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Be honest to you, silveraccord, you have me another bolt from the blue with this riposte. It¡¦s too polite by all means. I wasn¡¦t looking for getting this kind of retort from you after dispatching my opinions. The words I engraved were just to clarify my belief and complement what we have left behind. I should apologize to you if my conceited contents imply any false information to you.
Got the rough day with my arrogant staff, her behavior and sumptuous matrimony apparently were minor incidents that led to my replies. Should not check this forum again in my office. I have to give up my habit of periodically checking this website.
silveraccord, I'm expecting more future inputs from you via this great forum. They are always useful to me.
Got the rough day with my arrogant staff, her behavior and sumptuous matrimony apparently were minor incidents that led to my replies. Should not check this forum again in my office. I have to give up my habit of periodically checking this website.
silveraccord, I'm expecting more future inputs from you via this great forum. They are always useful to me.
01-26-2004, 09:58 PM
#51
Senior Moderator
Keep the car, cheap on the wedding.
When I married my wife 10 years ago, we didn't have much--I'd just graduated medical school and she was a grad student. Can you say "poor"? I can! Our wedding cost <$7k including the honeymoon. How did we do this? Simple. We asked people we knew to provide the services we needed as a wedding present. We had to pay for the church we had the wedding is in, for the catering, for the wedding gown, photos, honeymoon, and the rings. That's it!
We had 250-300 guests and the wedding still looked like it cost a million bucks.
Sell your car only if you have to!!! How the hell are you going to get around after the wedding???
When I married my wife 10 years ago, we didn't have much--I'd just graduated medical school and she was a grad student. Can you say "poor"? I can! Our wedding cost <$7k including the honeymoon. How did we do this? Simple. We asked people we knew to provide the services we needed as a wedding present. We had to pay for the church we had the wedding is in, for the catering, for the wedding gown, photos, honeymoon, and the rings. That's it!
We had 250-300 guests and the wedding still looked like it cost a million bucks.
Sell your car only if you have to!!! How the hell are you going to get around after the wedding???
01-26-2004, 11:07 PM
#52
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Keep the car.....
I ahve been married twice and I gave up lots of things both times. I won't do it again.
By the way I paid for both of my weddings .
I had one traditional wedding 100 guests.
One small one.
the small one with very little cost was much better.
I ahve been married twice and I gave up lots of things both times. I won't do it again.
By the way I paid for both of my weddings .
I had one traditional wedding 100 guests.
One small one.
the small one with very little cost was much better.
01-27-2004, 10:18 AM
#53
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Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Originally posted by jphill0
I was hoping some ppl could give me an idea of what to ask for my TL. I just got engaged and decided that I have to say goodbye to my baby for now. Yes, I should've thought this out ahead of time, but now I'm feelin' selfish.
Thanks for any suggestions.
I was hoping some ppl could give me an idea of what to ask for my TL. I just got engaged and decided that I have to say goodbye to my baby for now. Yes, I should've thought this out ahead of time, but now I'm feelin' selfish.
Thanks for any suggestions.
01-27-2004, 12:43 PM
#54
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Originally posted by ¿GotJazz?
There's an old adage that I've found to have a lot of validity:
"The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding."
Put in simpler terms:
The wedding is almost entirely about things that aren't related at all to a couple's love: materialism, egos, showmanship, fantasies. Some women tend to focus entirely on wedding and not as much on the relationship. Lots of the weddings I have been to are more for the parents than they are for the couples anyway.
Couples that just love each other and just care about being married tend to do something that gets the exact same job done for a lot cheaper - elope or do a small civil service. Then, they save up their money for things that really matter for the strength of the marriage - like buying a house.
Something to think about ... but I wouldn't dream of mentioning this to your fiance!
There's an old adage that I've found to have a lot of validity:
"The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding."
Put in simpler terms:
The wedding is almost entirely about things that aren't related at all to a couple's love: materialism, egos, showmanship, fantasies. Some women tend to focus entirely on wedding and not as much on the relationship. Lots of the weddings I have been to are more for the parents than they are for the couples anyway.
Couples that just love each other and just care about being married tend to do something that gets the exact same job done for a lot cheaper - elope or do a small civil service. Then, they save up their money for things that really matter for the strength of the marriage - like buying a house.
Something to think about ... but I wouldn't dream of mentioning this to your fiance!
A Prince Charles & Lady Diana wedding is the dream of most women wanting to get married but its so impractical and expensive nowadays. (BTW: Look at how that storybook ending went.)
Elope and have a honeymoon @ Disney World. Keep the TL; it's a nice entry level sport/luxo sedan that can double for a family car when the time comes.
01-27-2004, 07:41 PM
#55
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Re: Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Originally posted by fuque
My suggestion is you make it a long engagement. You're clearly not ready to be married.
My suggestion is you make it a long engagement. You're clearly not ready to be married.
Hee hee hee. I guess that answers the question of how much I should ask for the TL.
Sorry everybody else...couldn't help myself. Don't take that to mean I don't appreciate what everybody else has been saying. I've read every post, and I think this is one of the best forums I've ever seen. No, I didn't ask for a lot of the advice, but life is too short to stay on topic the whole time.
Thank you to everybody.
I'm not Donald Trump, nor am I poor. I'm somewhere in the middle... where the little bit I'd save by putting off a luxury for a little while could be the difference between a nice wedding/honeymoon or a picnic.
I'm not spending $20k on the wedding...but I'm hoping to spend more than $20. The wedding is not just for my beautiful fiance. It is as much for me as well. A lot of guys don't get into it, but I want to make the most of the hopefully 'one' time in my life I'll have this opportunity.
I want my guests to be comfortable, my bride to be smiling, and for everybody who goes... to go back to work on Monday truly happy they were a "part" of our happy occasion....and knowing that it wouldn't have been the same without them.
The 'average' cost of a wedding is $25k. Together, we won't even be spending half of that most likely. I won't have to pay it all myself, but I want to help as best I can. Given that I've lived w/o the TL for this long and still have a great car for the mean time, I would think anybody in my shoes should at the very least be 'entertaining' the idea of putting off the TL for a year.
If you think I'm not ready for marriage because I didn't think it out this far BEFORE I got the TL, then I'm guilty. I really wish I could do it over. But I like to think I'm the kind of person who thinks beyond just himself -even if not that moment when he took delivery....wow, what a car !
And, I like to think that I'm the kind of person who learns from his experiences and adapts as honorably as possible to life in the greener grass.
01-28-2004, 04:13 AM
#58
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Been in your shoes many times (not engagements, but pregnancies, relocations to God aughful climates, house purchases, etc. Your car is a relatively liquid asset, albeit a quickly depreciating one. Any loss less than $3K in your situation would be great, and a good investment. You'll likely get the car back, or something similar, many times over. Do it and don't look back. Remember, in some way you'll regret every purchase and every trade...always. Something is always not as expected. Fug it and forget it...move on.
01-28-2004, 08:30 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Originally posted by jphill0
Wow, looks like you got right to the heart of the matter didn't you Dr Phil...oops, I mean Dr Fuquerself....
Hee hee hee. I guess that answers the question of how much I should ask for the TL.
Sorry everybody else...couldn't help myself. Don't take that to mean I don't appreciate what everybody else has been saying. I've read every post, and I think this is one of the best forums I've ever seen. No, I didn't ask for a lot of the advice, but life is too short to stay on topic the whole time.
Thank you to everybody.
I'm not Donald Trump, nor am I poor. I'm somewhere in the middle... where the little bit I'd save by putting off a luxury for a little while could be the difference between a nice wedding/honeymoon or a picnic.
I'm not spending $20k on the wedding...but I'm hoping to spend more than $20. The wedding is not just for my beautiful fiance. It is as much for me as well. A lot of guys don't get into it, but I want to make the most of the hopefully 'one' time in my life I'll have this opportunity.
I want my guests to be comfortable, my bride to be smiling, and for everybody who goes... to go back to work on Monday truly happy they were a "part" of our happy occasion....and knowing that it wouldn't have been the same without them.
The 'average' cost of a wedding is $25k. Together, we won't even be spending half of that most likely. I won't have to pay it all myself, but I want to help as best I can. Given that I've lived w/o the TL for this long and still have a great car for the mean time, I would think anybody in my shoes should at the very least be 'entertaining' the idea of putting off the TL for a year.
If you think I'm not ready for marriage because I didn't think it out this far BEFORE I got the TL, then I'm guilty. I really wish I could do it over. But I like to think I'm the kind of person who thinks beyond just himself -even if not that moment when he took delivery....wow, what a car !
And, I like to think that I'm the kind of person who learns from his experiences and adapts as honorably as possible to life in the greener grass.
Wow, looks like you got right to the heart of the matter didn't you Dr Phil...oops, I mean Dr Fuquerself....
Hee hee hee. I guess that answers the question of how much I should ask for the TL.
Sorry everybody else...couldn't help myself. Don't take that to mean I don't appreciate what everybody else has been saying. I've read every post, and I think this is one of the best forums I've ever seen. No, I didn't ask for a lot of the advice, but life is too short to stay on topic the whole time.
Thank you to everybody.
I'm not Donald Trump, nor am I poor. I'm somewhere in the middle... where the little bit I'd save by putting off a luxury for a little while could be the difference between a nice wedding/honeymoon or a picnic.
I'm not spending $20k on the wedding...but I'm hoping to spend more than $20. The wedding is not just for my beautiful fiance. It is as much for me as well. A lot of guys don't get into it, but I want to make the most of the hopefully 'one' time in my life I'll have this opportunity.
I want my guests to be comfortable, my bride to be smiling, and for everybody who goes... to go back to work on Monday truly happy they were a "part" of our happy occasion....and knowing that it wouldn't have been the same without them.
The 'average' cost of a wedding is $25k. Together, we won't even be spending half of that most likely. I won't have to pay it all myself, but I want to help as best I can. Given that I've lived w/o the TL for this long and still have a great car for the mean time, I would think anybody in my shoes should at the very least be 'entertaining' the idea of putting off the TL for a year.
If you think I'm not ready for marriage because I didn't think it out this far BEFORE I got the TL, then I'm guilty. I really wish I could do it over. But I like to think I'm the kind of person who thinks beyond just himself -even if not that moment when he took delivery....wow, what a car !
And, I like to think that I'm the kind of person who learns from his experiences and adapts as honorably as possible to life in the greener grass.
01-28-2004, 10:08 AM
#61
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Re: Re: Re: Got engaged...going to have to sell my baby after only 3wks
Originally posted by jphill0
Wow, looks like you got right to the heart of the matter didn't you Dr Phil...oops, I mean Dr Fuquerself....
Wow, looks like you got right to the heart of the matter didn't you Dr Phil...oops, I mean Dr Fuquerself....
01-29-2004, 08:06 AM
#65
Team Owner
Originally posted by vtechbrain
It will probably garner the attention of better looking hot chicks anyway!!
It will probably garner the attention of better looking hot chicks anyway!!
01-29-2004, 08:14 AM
#66
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Come on guys, what are you talking about
I know we men love our independence, and bristle at a woman dictating how and what we do, but it is a car after all. We have no idea how great and/or attractive this woman is so bear that in mind when making your comments. If a smart, witty Cindy Crawford, Pamela Anderson, or Shania Twain wanted a fancy wedding, and you needed to sell your TL to provide it for her, would you "dump the chick" and keep the car?
I don't think so:lol2:
I know we men love our independence, and bristle at a woman dictating how and what we do, but it is a car after all. We have no idea how great and/or attractive this woman is so bear that in mind when making your comments. If a smart, witty Cindy Crawford, Pamela Anderson, or Shania Twain wanted a fancy wedding, and you needed to sell your TL to provide it for her, would you "dump the chick" and keep the car?
I don't think so:lol2:
01-29-2004, 08:40 AM
#68
A.K.A. Karl Hungus
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ZFactor, no matter how beautiful she is, if she loves you and is the right woman, she'll never require you to give her a fancy wedding.
Better to be alone than to be slowly strangled lifeless by the marital equivalent of an anaconda.
Hmm . . . that seems a much darker sentiment than when I originally thought it up. . . .
Gotta find a woman who lets you be your crazy self. Guess I just got lucky. Or I'm really crazy and halucinating
Better to be alone than to be slowly strangled lifeless by the marital equivalent of an anaconda.
Hmm . . . that seems a much darker sentiment than when I originally thought it up. . . .
Gotta find a woman who lets you be your crazy self. Guess I just got lucky. Or I'm really crazy and halucinating
01-29-2004, 09:26 AM
#70
Originally posted by VQ35DE
That just plain wrong man!!! FUNNY but, wrong!!
That just plain wrong man!!! FUNNY but, wrong!!
01-29-2004, 09:33 AM
#71
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Originally posted by vtechbrain
Hey Z what are the chances this guy is marrying Cindy, HUH!! Specially when she's already going out with me (my new TL makes her hot all over!).
Hey Z what are the chances this guy is marrying Cindy, HUH!! Specially when she's already going out with me (my new TL makes her hot all over!).
ZFactor, no matter how beautiful she is, if she loves you and is the right woman, she'll never require you to give her a fancy wedding.
Better to be alone than to be slowly strangled lifeless by the marital equivalent of an anaconda.
Better to be alone than to be slowly strangled lifeless by the marital equivalent of an anaconda.
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Don't get me wrong, I think he should try to find a happy medium, but the bottom line is that while our TL are
and enable us to get women like Vtechbrain's Ms. Crawford, you can always buy another one as opposed to finding the right woman.Now if he had to sell his Corvette, that would be a deal beaker.
01-29-2004, 11:56 AM
#72
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Originally posted by vtechbrain
Its wrong because he's going to the KIA forum as soon as he sells the TL. After the divorce he'll join the public bus forum!
Its wrong because he's going to the KIA forum as soon as he sells the TL. After the divorce he'll join the public bus forum!
That said, here's a headstart:
http://www.jtaonthemove.com/service/buslist.htm
01-29-2004, 06:39 PM
#73
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Not to change the subject...but have you more often woken up in a cold sweat over the car you just sold...or the car you just bought? I mean that kind of furkin' what did I just do? Which is more traumatic? I'd want to know even if I didn't need the post count.
01-29-2004, 09:16 PM
#74
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As a female and a car freak, I would never tell my husband what type of a vehicle to buy or to get rid of it. Hopefully, I'll never do anything to make him feel I want him to make a change, either. I'm lucky that my car is "my car" and his car (or truck) is "his". We make our vehicle decisions independent of each other and accept the responsibility of the payments, insurance, etc. for the vehicles we choose to drive.
Fortunately, we've both always been into cars ... and he really likes my new TL!!
Fortunately, we've both always been into cars ... and he really likes my new TL!!
01-30-2004, 11:57 AM
#75
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Originally posted by TX-04TL
As a female and a car freak, I would never tell my husband what type of a vehicle to buy or to get rid of it. Hopefully, I'll never do anything to make him feel I want him to make a change, either. I'm lucky that my car is "my car" and his car (or truck) is "his". We make our vehicle decisions independent of each other and accept the responsibility of the payments, insurance, etc. for the vehicles we choose to drive.
As a female and a car freak, I would never tell my husband what type of a vehicle to buy or to get rid of it. Hopefully, I'll never do anything to make him feel I want him to make a change, either. I'm lucky that my car is "my car" and his car (or truck) is "his". We make our vehicle decisions independent of each other and accept the responsibility of the payments, insurance, etc. for the vehicles we choose to drive.
01-30-2004, 05:19 PM
#76
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I'm there TX-04TL. You sound a lot like my lady. She gives me no grief about my decision to buy the TL. When I told her I was thinking about selling it, she told me not to-- unless I was sure thats what I wanted to do. We plan to live by a very similar game plan. We both work, so we should take responsibility for paying for our own cars.
If we think about it, the cars have as much to do with our jobs as the shoes or clothes we wear to the office. The house, food, and other expenses on the other hand will be shared.
Its obvious there are one or two in every forum just there to fling crap (or "sour grape" as a good man use to say), but I have to support the position you and your husband take on the cars. Its difficult sometimes...as you could probably tell in one of my earlier replies...to keep in mind that some ppl just say things to start trbl and are probably more jealous than anything else.
As we all know, some wives for one reason or another don't work (kids, beliefs, etc). I have nothing against that, but it is bound to cause some of the respective husbands to be a little jealous when they think of the people who don't have to get approval from their spouses whenever they get a new ride. I have a feeling that may have a lot to do with some of the posts we see here.
Best regards...
If we think about it, the cars have as much to do with our jobs as the shoes or clothes we wear to the office. The house, food, and other expenses on the other hand will be shared.
Its obvious there are one or two in every forum just there to fling crap (or "sour grape" as a good man use to say), but I have to support the position you and your husband take on the cars. Its difficult sometimes...as you could probably tell in one of my earlier replies...to keep in mind that some ppl just say things to start trbl and are probably more jealous than anything else.
As we all know, some wives for one reason or another don't work (kids, beliefs, etc). I have nothing against that, but it is bound to cause some of the respective husbands to be a little jealous when they think of the people who don't have to get approval from their spouses whenever they get a new ride. I have a feeling that may have a lot to do with some of the posts we see here.
Best regards...
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