Ok so here it is,

My father-in-law is somewhat of a douche.

I bought my TL certified with 25k miles on a couple of years ago, my wife fell in love with it and all my friends and fams were EXTREMELY impressed by it, espicially since I was so young when I got it (19, no co-signer, all me). The look, the interior, the power (not that much, but still), everything was positively commented on, EXCEPT ONE DAY my father-inlaw needs a ride cuz he's 94 civic died on the highway. me and my wife pick him up, and since this was the first time he steped into my car, i thought I would hear "nice car" or " I like the soft leather seats" or " I'm happy that my daughter is married to smart young man, who can support her, pays for her college tuition, and hasn't even gotten her pregnant before attaining a well paying career and home"...even silence would have sufficed... but no... the guys says " your rear suspension is a bit off, and you should have gotten a BMW... more reliable"

my questions are... what... the... f*ck? 2nd, is it possible to determine if something is wrong with the suspesion if you seating in the back seat and have no real technical automotive experience other then driving?

 

Wait...he drives a 94 Civic, and he thinks you should've gotten a BMW. Maybe he's jealous? Someone without technical automotive experience would not be able to tell if there was something wrong with the suspension. Unless you had the car lowered, and the springs were stiff...that's about it.

 

what do you care what he thinks...he is after all, your father in law...your not supposed to care what your father in law thinks, your banging his daughter!

 

Some people are very opinionated, and depending on his health and age, he will probably be around for quite a while, and don't forget he's your wife's father. Any complaining to her may not be taken lightly. Let it be like water on a duck's back, it just runs off, so just take it with a grain of salt and tell him you'll have it checked at the next service.

Many years ago I saw a Mazda RX7 Turbo at the NY Auto Show, so we purchased one in red with black leather. First day I drove it to work, a coworker asked me why I would have ever purchased the car in red. Still remember that one.

 

The answer to your second question is yes. If he was sitting back there and felt the notorious TL "hop", he would know there is a suspension issue. This "hop" has been noted several times on this board and is more pronounced with a load in the trunk and/or back seat.

 

He drives an older Civic which broke down. There's no use in fretting what he says.

 

When he made the comment that BMW's were more reliable should have sent you a message that he didh't know what the hell he was talking about.

If you get steamed this much over one in-laws comment, you don't have much of a future in this marriage.

Just move on, and get it out of your mind. You seem to take pride in your success in life to this point, which is great. Just add a hint more maturity, and you'll be good to go
Unfortunately, your father-in-law apparently missed that stop altogether.

 

A "load" in the back seat... you mean the father-in-laws fat a$$? lol

 

I would have made him walk home after that comment.

 

Some solid advice in this thread. As hard as I find it to disregard negative comments, I have found that if someone is in fact being negative with something that is clearly positive to you and they are from a substantially lesser or inferior experience... it can 9 times out of 10 be summed up to good ol' haterism. Which in turn should be taken as a compliment when you think about it

 

You should of told him "Perhaps you should get a BMW since its more reliable than your broken down Civic"

 

I've been my wife for a very long time. 2 years married, 5 years as a couple. We are still holding it down strong, and she totally thinks her dad is kinda coo-coo. I love her to def.

But the part about " should have gotten a BMW" , my father had a 5 series and it started giving him electrical problems 50K miles into thing, converted to Audi A8, still not that much of a difference. So much for the "reliable" thoery. So I'll take with a grain of sand, and just buy my wife BMW so he can shut up.

I'll bring the TL to the dealer to see whats up, I'll probably be getting some tien SS anyways

 

Don't worry 'bout it....
Just don't get caught up in the yearning to have compliments thing.

 

Geez guys lol why not just kick him in the nuts...lmao....Look Bay, The truth is: that everybody at this point, is correct... almost. The notorious Hop is legit. Get someone to drive you while YOU sit in the back and do your own investigation. While at the same time, FEED you F-I-L's ego. He's older and he's "wiser" ( in some aspects) and with you being as young as you are, He's going to chalk ANYTHING you have to say up to arrogance. I remember my parents telling me "Fine, what do I know?" Now I kick myself in the ass as I watch mine do the same. Only now there's the internet. Take the little pieces from each comment that make the most sence and go with that! Also, CONGRATS on being a young successful entrepreneur. My dad is a very successful person. He told me two things I never forgot. A real professional, NEVER appologizes unless he/she is WRONG!! And 2, Never reach further than your arms length. if you lean too far, you will loose your balance and a fall could be a castastrpohe. GOOD LUCK my friend!!

 

good point, my wife is from a pretty humble upbringing, as for me, I'm from the upper-middle class (if there is such a thing) so we tend to think differently when it comes to money/cars/home, I'm more of a quality,luxury, good things ain't cheap and cheap things aint good kinda mindset. But I feel for the guy though, he is a good guy, just not to me apperantly.

ooo... I forgot to mention, he's a priest and you know how that goes... priests always want their daughter to be with a nice sweet christain boy. I wasn't all that into church, my wife drags me every weekend, but I don't mind, as long as I get sum.

 

Personally, I would have said, "yeah, I've never had so much weight in the backseat before" for some subtle sarcasm. This comment works better if he's heavy, obviously.

If not, just remind him how awesome you are for picking up his sorry-stranded ass from the side of the road.

I understand your frustration. I deal with the same BS. My soon-to-be father-in-law constantly F's with my TL-S(which is weird cause I see him maybe twice a year). I bought an '07 brand new and in that time span HE has purchased 3 different cars... comparing each one to mine. '05 monte carlo, '07 monte carlo, and now a new v6 camaro

We don't have anything to talk about cause he's an alcoholic and is crazy competitive. I just make small talk and ignore his dumb comments... like I said, i never see the guy.

Stay strong sir... sounds like you've got your act together.

 

Man don't worry about it bro. You deal with those kinds of people in life, and you move on. Just take care of your own and don't worry about what other people are saying. You are doing good bro and that's all that matters in the end.

PEACE!

 

he's a priest!!!!?

PERFECT, next time just ask him: "what would jesus drive?"

or, put one of those jesus fish stickers on your ride... he'll have to love it then

 

probably a Buick LaCross ... I'm going to hell

 

haha, that's great

 

Why in the world would you expect a compliment from your father-in-law? Next time he criticizes your car, politely remind him that you and your reliable car saved his "blessed feet" from walking.....

 

lol.. this story makes me laugh.. my fiances dad is so quiet.. he doesnt say anything lol

 

My brother-in-law takes it a step further, he compares my car, to cars he doesn't even own!?!?! He compares it to 7 series, A8's and the Lexus IS-F, maybe if my car was in the same class, but man. He has gone thru 4 cars and always compares them to mine, which is insane since 3 of them were from the last millenium (honda accord, a civ, a hatchback), and , and the one he has now is an 03? Lexus ES 300 150K miles, tries to race me all the time. I wouldn't race against a TL of the new year, let alone a hopty , no way I'm getting my paint chipped up from pebbles.

But I def gotta see whats up with the suspension, it just erks me.

 

Now THAT'S funny

In marriage years, 2 years married, and 5 years as couple is NOTHING.

Take it from an old guy who has been there more than once. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, your wife will not take sides with you over her parents She may tell you different, but in the end, you lose.
I've seen it too many times..she can say he's an asshole, but if YOU say he's an asshole, you are having points taken away without you even knowing about it.
This isn't just my experience. My bet is that if you talk to 10 guys over 45 years old to get their opinion on this, they would agree.

If you get bored one day, read "men are from Mars, and women are from Venus". It is pretty realistic.

Don't feel bad, it's just not your call

P.S. It's a fact, I was in the seminary for a year. They think the same way as any other straight guy

 

You gotta love that. Why do people have to be so difficult?
You NEVER put down a man's ride... ever. It's a man Law.
I haven't acted that way since high school... and even then it was rare.

good luck on the suspension.

 

I don't yearn for compliments, it's just the guy NEVER has anything good to say to me, it's always "you should have gotten a 72" plasma instead of a 52" 1080 HD" or " why don't you come earlier to church" or " you shouldn't wear a hat because it makes you bald" or " Bob's furniture has better quality then Jordan's" or " a MAC notebook would have been better" or " when i was your age, i was able to dunk, y can't you?".

I'm bearly 22, i haven't hit the prime of my life yet, the guys insane.

 

I'm not even married, yet... and i completely agree with you. It's the same thing as when women complain about their body, clothes, etc. Its fine if they do it... YOU better shut up about it.
My fav is when they ask those "loaded" questions. You know you're in trouble before you even answer.

 

LOL yes, those loaded ?'s are killers, one time my wife asked me " If I had a twin, would you find her sexual atractive?" ... then BAM! I'm already down for the count.

 

my only response in those situations is to feed her the biggest load of crap I can come up with... "attracted to your twin?? NO babe, not at all... you see, I fell in love with YOU, not JUST your looks, although you are the most beautiful woman ever in the history of the world... heck, you could have 10 twins and I wouldn't pay any attention to them... and to prove it, I bought a new picture frame to place on my desk at work... everyday I will put a NEW picture of you in it just to remind me how special you are.... "

and i don't stop talking ... not until she gets upset at my ridiculousness and tells me to shut up. I think its a perfect way to teach her to stop asking those questions. I don't know, maybe I'm just an asshole....

 

My brother in Law is the reason why I bought the TL in the first place. Always talking about how he was going to get one, and how sick it was and blah blah blah, that after a year of him saying "I'm going to by the TL next month", I actually went out and bought one. then all of a sudden it's "I'm getty an AUDI next month".

anyway, thanks for the advice you guys, atleast I'm not alone.

 

Only if you gave me your complete approval to have an affair, honey

 

DAMN......you're good!

 

Thanks
Practice makes perfect

 

OOOOh and i just hit my 100th post.... yay me

 

Oh bullshit. She isn't going to choose her parents over you. She is married to you, lives with you, sleeps with you, will have your children. The time of her parents has come and gone. Why oh why would you take it from a guy who has, admittedly, 'been there more then once'.

Now don't get me wrong, talking trash about her parents will equate to points taken away from you. But since your the only one with 'points' it doesn't matter.

The way I see it is this. Like said above, just ignore the childish comments. The dude is obviously jealous. You also need to remember NO ONE, NO ONE is ever good enough for his daughter. And you will feel the same for yours.

 

To the OP, please seriously consider reading that book. It hits nails right on the head.

 

OP- Hate to hear that man, my girfriend's dad has a built VR4 so he's always telling me to romp on it and is always game for some "tuner busting" haha Why didn't you put the brake pedal to the floor and see how he like'd the taste of your soft leather seats :p

 

i couldn't get past the face that you're married at 19. and you've been dating her since 14? you guys are both going to change a lot and i wish you the best of luck...

 

i am the biggest newb. can't find the edit button but i meant "fact" not "face." wtf is the edit button?

 

I would have told him that the soft rear suspension is more cushion for the pushin' then give him the perverted eyebrow shrug..



but sadly.. yes the TL does have a spongy rear suspension.