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Great idea!! Thanks Taco. I mean I'm living in USA now might as well have the American Dream!!
need to sell weed or something a la Jefe, who has more money than me without a jerb! Man, wife and kids are such a drain on my finances.....might have to list them on black market soon.
I'm not necessarily interested in your wife or kids... But their internal organs? Hell yeah.
I'll give you $34.50 for the wife's organs, and $17.25 for each child's organs. You can have the family members back too once I extract what I need.
Had another kids birthday party today. It was a distinctly Texan event. Hot dogs with meat chili and Fritos, a cooler full of Shiner Bock-bock-bah-gawwk, beating the shit out of a pińata, etc.
Plenty of talk about how "our team" is doing and how "we" are gonna do this year (Texas A&M, by the way). And I'm sitting there, absolutely fascinated, because I had *NO IDEA* so many of these overweight desk jockey slobs and their bangled, sangria fueled wives were still playing college ball for A&M. Especially considering the multi-hour commute from H-Town back up to College Station for practice every day. Quite impressive, I tell you hwut.
Two good ol' boys sat down next to me... One of them goes by "the colonel" and the other "uncle so-and-so" (he might have actually been an uncle to someone there, I don't know and it's really rather irrelevant so just move on). And they're sitting there talking to each other, well "talking" is a relatively loose description of the sloppy expectorant of drawled words being vomited forth from their jowls, but the one guy is talking to the other about the problems he's been having with his hay baler. Evidently he's getting loose hay at the ends and the rope is too loose when it does the finishing tie.
Apparently, he needs to set up his row but the sorta go left to right a bit when he's cuttin'. And also check the tension and make sure he didn't pick up any rocks and damage the thinger.
All I could think of was, "If you're havin' hay problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but a baler ain't one."
But I kept that shit to myself because I reckon using that sorta "ethnic talk" around this group (looking like a Saltine factory up in that bitch) might be cause enough to become the next "pińata" out back in "the family tree", if you know what I mean.
So I was just like, "this is good cake, what is it? Just plain White?"
My Dad makes bread.
I saw him today...
pretty funny but when he found out Z was coming, he seemed more like the whole "you're a grandpa now" thing bothered him more than me being a dad...
then the kid came and I swear, he is more in love with her than anyone else in my entire family, mother included.
My classmate (black) was almost run over coming out of HEB north of San Antonio yesterday. The guy sped up as she was in the middle of the crosswalk. A bystander jumped out at the guy as he saw it go down. He yelled out his window, "I'm not stopping for no nigger!"
I would have loved to show that racist ignorant cuntjina some love. People suck donkey dick. She just went into remission from breast cancer, only to almost be run over for some bullshit. I'm packing an extra mag.
My classmate (black) was almost run over coming out of HEB north of San Antonio yesterday. The guy sped up as she was in the middle of the crosswalk. A bystander jumped out at the guy as he saw it go down. He yelled out his window, "I'm not stopping for no nigger!"
I would have loved to show that racist ignorant cuntjina some love. People suck donkey dick. She just went into remission from breast cancer, only to almost be run over for some bullshit. I'm packing an extra mag.
With all due respect to my ninja Max Karl Ernst Ludwig Planck (), I have a quote that is always rolling around my mind which is a paraphrased variation of his:
"Social progress happens one funeral at a time."
I prefer to think of that in a passive sense and not in an active, go make progress happen by taking out the trash, sort of way. But sometimes I could understand an exception.
That guy could have been an exception.
And for funsies, at the expense of calling out Beetlejuice, the OG version:
"Die Wahrheit triumphiert nie, ihre Gegner sterben nur aus."
Approximately "Truth never triumphs, the opponents just die out."
Or paraphrased, "Science advances one funeral at a time."
As much as all of you are a bunch of jizz gobbling, dick loving, mother fathering massholes, I consider you some of the most level headed and straight up guys out there. It's nice to see people who aren't like so much of society these days- self centred, selfish, never accountable, compassion less shit stains.
Much of society makes me feel sad on the inside, especially when I keep hearing and seeing what happens around the planet on a daily basis, with so much unnecessary deaths, cruelty to one another, and just a general disregard for others just because they believe something else or look different, or whatever. It's nice to see people that don't fit into what is considered the normal fabric of society.
Sorry. Didn't mean to derail. Back to the regularly scheduled humour.
That's one version. The other is when you call a visitor by using a certain set of phrases. Like in that movie... Michael Keaton Is A Dead Guy and A Baldwin Is There Too, Also Winona's Big Brown Beaver.
Jerry was a racecar driver, he drove so God damn fast!
Nice Cujo...
Adam, such a Canadian post but I loved it. I agree, it makes me sick to think people can be without compassion or still scream things like "I don't stop for no nigger" (probably followed by I hate fucking anyone that isn't my sister!). Which sucks because his action then turns the very aloha kind Majofo into a hateful uzi wielding maniac when he was probably just zenning it out that day. It sucks...it's such an ugly thing...
Be kind, please rewind. I miss VHS.
I still can't believe this.
He was from Cuba and had to defect like many of them and actually served time for it. I applaud him for his courage and wanting to provide a better life for him and his family.
He was a great player and any time he was in the lineup to pitch against your team, you knew you weren't going to get much off of him. He was a strikeout machine and a truly amazing talent
Seems like progress lost steam and is rolling back down the hill. Ignorance is growing by the day. Ammo and booze stays relatively the same price.
Ignorance has a new name and face at the helm. It has always been there but in the last couple years, the oppressed have felt the courage to rise with their leader, an orange orangutan
Good morning, Crew!
Adam, check out my neighbor's long time friend's car...
Pretty damn cool...he had full bolt ons and a tune, said 350 to the wheels. He was kinda douchey but ended up being nice.
Also, I owe you an apology on demographic cause the guy is probably late 40's or 50.