Sideswipe

At some point in time in the year 2009 I infultrated Virginia. Whether I came in from the North, South, East or West I ain't tellin'. I was in a gamblin' mood so I decided to leave my stealth device engaged to see how far I could get. So I'm doing between 90 to 120 easy, real easy, all up through that beautiful side of the country. The stealth device sniffed out two ambush points and at one point in time some nut in an Escalade kept trying to tailgate so I let him blow past me only to get zapped. He'll be seeing that ticket on his record for quite some time.

Okay, I'm off the highway and trolling down some country, winding, hilly stretch of road through a bunch of scenic pastures. All of a sudden I'm up behind some hayseed in some no name Plymouth and some cattle rustlin' dude hawlin' his horse behind his Dodge Ram.

I'm scoping all the way around me for cops while waiting for an opportune moment to blast past these po' dunks' or whatever you call people on this side of the country. The coast is clear and I gate shift it down to 1st gear, passing both cars effortlessly. I disappear over the the horizon and down the road like Burt Reynolds in a scene from Smokey and the Bandit.

Just as I'm about to reach warp speed (the sweet spot in 3rd gear) I notice a flury of electric blue lights in my rearview mirror. I had so much speed the flury of blue lights disappeared as I flew around the next three cars and over the next hill. My instincts told me to shut it down immediately--I may be crazy but I ain't stupid--I could have easily lost the cop car but I knew I wouldn't outrun his radio.

I pull to the side of the road and waited a full 30 seconds for the cop car to approach. The cop car turned out to be the mild mannered-looking, charcoal grey, 2009 Chevy Tahoe that had been tailgating me the whole time a few miles back before I took off.

I kept ultimate cool, an almost professional demeanor as the cop asked for my DL and registration. "I would have clocked you but you took off so fast I didn't have time to react!" He said after he ran my tag and found no priors. I explained I was only trying to pass slower traffic and slowed down as soon as I executed my pass. The guy let me off with a warning.

I layed low for a few days then made my departure from the state, stealth device locked and loaded. Blew through four--count them--four ambush points. Cops writing tickets like it was 2012 and the world was coming to an end.

I'm enjoying the scenery when long line of hot roads with New York tags came blasting by me. You know I couldn't resist that temptation. I caught up to them and came up on a guy in a T-bucket(?):



He kept giving me the go-ahead but he kept backing off past 110mph:



After that I maintained 100mph until I crossed the state line. Whether it was North, South, East or West I will not say.

kmatthe2

*clapping* Awesome story. May I ask which stealth device you are using? Seems to work pretty well.

civicdrivr

iTrader: (9)

Great story. "Stealth device"

Im going to guess your departure was Southwest, via either I85, 77 or 81. Just a guess though.

Sideswipe

Matching two tone black and silver (hell-to-the-yes) Cobra (as seen in above pic). Don't believe what the corny cops say about a 'stealth device' being worthless against lazers and whatnot. I've been ZAPPED hundreds of times and it has saved my ass every time. Paid for itself in one day considering a ticket in South Florida will set you back around 250 bucks.