And she still says that guys are expected to pay for everything.

It's kind of like an akward situation, she lives 300 miles away. For the last 2 and a half year I've been driving to see her at least 2-3 times a month. Even when I was in the army and 600 miles away, I drove to see her a couple of times. I'm not really a greedy guy at all. I've never made her pay for any dinners or anything and she's only visited me about 5 times and most of the time I'd fill up her tank for the way back.

Now, I lent my brother $300 and since he doesn't make a lot of money I never ask him for it. My girlfriend says he's taking advantage of me and that I should stop complaining when I run low on cash.

Well. lately I've been spending a lot of money, at least $150 per weekend for gas, dinners and things like that. That's a lot of money for me.

So, I've been paying for 95% of everything since we've been together and she tells me that guys are expected to pay and to stop complaining about running low on cash. I got really pissed and told her that if she'd pay for the food every now and then I wouldn't be having this many problems.

Then she said that her friend's boyfriend bought all these things for her room and her car and that I only spent about $1000 on jewlery on top of other things for her. Then she was trying to making me feel bad about how she paid for this cruise we went on this spring break when in reality she got $10,000 from her parents and BORROWED me the money which I'm paying her back every now and then.

Well, let me tell you, if I had gotten $10,000 from my parents, first off, I'd buy her something really nice and second of all, if I took her on a cruise, I wouldn't expect her to pay me back for anything. She spent $5,000 on a nose job and she got more money after she graduated and spent it all on a Z3. All this money and I never received shit from it I remember when I first got out of bootcamp and had like $500 in my bank account, she came to see me and I bought her a $350 ring and here she is wasting all this money that could be mine, JK.

Well, my question really is, should guys pay for everything? I told her that if her friends boyfriend has to spend all that money just to keep his girlfriend, then so be it, I'm not gonna spend thousands on materialjust to keep her happy. But in reality, for two and a half years, week in and week out I've been spending my money on gas and what not just to come and see her and I'm sure if I put it all together, all the money I spent in this relationship would exceed what her friends boyfriend spent. I know we're not kids and we shouldn't compare these little things, but how can she say that I should be paying for everything. I mean I understand that I'd be paying for dinners and such in the first few months, but the relationship grows and it shouldn't be the guys responsibility after two years. Now she has been telling me that we'll just split the bills. I really don't see a good ending for this relationship. Maybe it's time for us to be apart, she can find herself someone who'll support her with car stereos and flat screen TV's.

So here's the question, should guys be paying for 95% of the bills AFTER TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN A RELATIONSHIP??

 

dont you think you;re gonna get biased results when you're asking this question here? a forum where a majority of the members are male?

 

BTW, if she says guys have to pay for everything and wont even offer, shes a gold-diggin whore...IMHO

 

He's exactly right. if you're living that far away and you see her only that often, adn she want's you to pay for shit I can almost guarontee you aren't eh only guy out there. SOrry to bring that up, but it's probably true. unless you really love her and she really loves you then get the fuck out man. Teh way you put it makes it sound slike she doens't give a shit about you and is just fuckin with you.

 

No, I mean we love each other and she's offered to pay.

It's not about paying that bothers me, I really don't mind paying and I don't think that she should really pay since I make more money than she does. But the thing is, AFTER I've been paying for everything after this long, especially for gas, I'm sure just that adds up to thousands of dollars (600 miles for a couple of days), she tells me how her friend got all this stuff from her boyfriend.

Well, IF I hadn't spent all that money on gas and everything else it takes to keep this relationship going, then maybe she'd have a flat screen TV too.

Also for the girls, is 4 pieces of jewlery totalling over $1000 altogether really nothing for 2 1/2 years? I mean it's not a lot, but is it really something to complain about?

Again, it's not about me paying, I don't mind that, it's the fact that she forgets that I've been paying for EVERYTHING since we've been together. Unless it's something she doesn't keep (like a cd player) she forgets about it. Like gas, she doesn't see that, but I spend $60 just to go see her and come back for a day or two. It's not a lot when you think about it, but it really adds up after a while. If I didn't go see her, I could spend $120 from saving for the gas on something else EVERY MONTH.

Maybe she should show a little more appreciation for me spending money on everything instead of telling me how much more stuff her friend has, when in reality all the money I could have spent for flat screen TVs I spent on us being together.

Plus, I'd really like to hear from females' points of view.

 

female here.

shes a selfish gold digging bitch.

that far into the relationship, you shouldnt be expected to buy everything for her or try to keep up with what her friends boyfriend got her.

at that point in my relationship we were paying for things equally. one time hed pay when we went out, id pick up the next tab.. basically whoever had the cash on hand at the time. but to assume that you have to pay EVERYTHING is quite assinine.

 

Dude, make up your mind. You hated paying for everything at the start of this thread.

 

I didn't HATE paying for everything, I hated the fact that she THINKS that I should pay for everything.

Read the poll question.

It's one thing to pay for something and the other person is thankful, but it's another thing for someone to expect you to pay for everything.

 

Then to answer your question, no, the guy should not be expected to pay for everything. If you ran out of money, does this mean she'd leave you for a guy who could pay her way? Your woman should love you rich or broke.

 

Just wait until you're married. You think you pay for everything now??? Just wait until a few years from now when you've been given the life sentence.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers.

 

what a shame..

 

i think she's a gold digger but she seems really into herself and money...pretty much materialistic. i mean getting a $5k nose job and a Z3? in the long run she's gonna (meaning if you get married) she'll probably make you pay for these as well. "hey honey, remember that boob job and benz i wanted?"

 

Yeah she sounds pretty self-centered to me.

 

Fuck that, my wife and I split the bills! Not always pretty but its understood because neither of us makes a ton to pay for everything. But we do share everything.

I chose the answer "it depends" because like I said I don't think the man should be expected to pay for everything. Its one thing if you choose to, its another if she made the decision that you need to pay always!

And I hate the "well suzies boyfriend did this"...well go fuck him then! My wife said something like that once (while we were dating) and I just said well then you picked the wrong guy! I'm who I am and if that ain't for you then we have a problem. Needless to say we straightened it out.

 

dude the girl im dating now... she finds it insulting if i pay all the time... shes kinda the feminist in a way like "im an independent woman". it gets a little annoying sometimes but its easy on my wallet so im not complaining too much.

but man... the girl u dating now seems to be milkin you pretty bad for money... i say have a serious talk to her about it, see how it turns out. it might not seem like a big problem now but for sure it will develop into a big ass deal later on. better to address it earlier on...

 

the guy should probably pay more often in the beginning few months, but later on the girl should be able to pick up the tab every so often. you shouldnt HAVE to pay for everything.

when i read that line you posted about her comparing you to her friend's boyfriend strictly on material things, that to me says the only thing that she sees is $ signs...

see what happens next time when you take her out for an expensive dinner somewhere and say you forgot your wallet.

 

this far into the relationship, it should be more even. i'm kinda in the same boat, i've been seeing this girl for a long time, and i always pay. Always. Just sometimes i want her to pick up the tab you know.

 

She probably won't have any money on her and they'll end up doing dishes!!

 

I've been in a relationship for the past year, and while my bf usually will pick up the tab, I have no problem buying dinner, etc. I usually make up for it when I go shopping and buy him new clothes.

 

see, why cant more chicks be like that ^^^^

 

send your girl my way ill get her wut she wants if she puts out whenever, wherever i want.














lol... jk.. but seriously she a gold digga... straight up.

 

Just wait until you're married for 17 years...

I don't have enough money to pay attention!

 

will you marry me??? (oh shit, did I just type what I was thinking??? I just pulled a Homer Simpson, didn't I???) I meant to ask if you had a sister??? (yeah, I covered up)....

 

Sounds like she's a gold diggin piece of shit. If this was 1950 i guess that would be ok, but in this day in age women/girls are given EVERY opportunity that men/boys are to get educated, get a job, and get money. So there's no reason that you should have to front all that money.

Tell her if she wants flat TV's and shit like that then she should get a better job or a man that likes to throw money around.

 

Dude, your girl is a gold digger.... a high class one, but a gold digger nonetheless.... drop that chicken dinner and find you a winner.... Go dutch on that ho and stop paying her back anything, let her ass take you to court, then you will know for real what she is all about.... you don't have anything in writing stating that it was a loan or what not, so let her take the hit....

I hate fuckin bitches that are like that, milking niggas for the paper.... fuckin bitch needs to get a job... oh shit, wrong thread.....

 

im sorry, everyone is saying it and its true. have a serious talk with her and if shes not willing to change then you know what shes really in it for

 

Me & my gf had a long distance relationship when we 1st started. I was in Detroit & she lived in Kansas. I would try to see her as often as possible, which usually was about once a month or so. I usually fit the bill for the plane tickets, but when she visited me it was on her CC.

She moved up her to Detroit about 2 years ago to see if we wanted to be together and she has ALWAYS paid her half of the rent. Even now with our apartment being $850/month she pays her half. I pay for dinner/groceries/going out 90% of the time, but in all fairness I make almost twice what she does, so thats only fair.

IMO your girl sounds like a high maintenance type. I havent spent $1k on my gf over the last 2 years for stupid shit like jewelry or materialistic shit. I'm not a cheap ass, but I'm not going to go broke to make her have tons of shit. It makes my gf happier when I buy her something stupid & small (like a $30 t-shirt with us on it), than if I just walk into the mall and dump $500 on something I put no thought into.

I say tell her to stop being so high maintenance, because there are lots of independant women out there ready to spend some time with a nice guy, you just gotta find them.

And it aint like my gf is a fat slob either. She isnt model material, but she cleans up very well and damn if she doesnt have some nice

 

<--- Always wanted to use the smiley


















and i think it applies here...

 

Lemme tell you this, if she REALLY cares about you, she wouldn't be comparing you to her friends bf, thats number 1. No. 2, she "should" understand that you are not that well off, and therefore can't spend much money, but if she can't, forget it. If she still thinks you should pay for everything and what not, then tell her you can't, and see what happens. I'm sure you care for her and all, but if you can't "afford" her, then tell her straight up, and if she cares about you, she'll understand and work with you, if not, she'll prolly forget about you then...just my 2

 

DO NOT CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH! this is a gold digger. Especially after 2.5 years, she should be able to appreicate what you bring to the table besides money. Comparing what her friend gets to what you give her is just and shows that first shes a jealous bitch, and second that nothing you do means anything to her because its not enough. Guys by all means should not be made to pay for EVERYTHING in a relationship. Tell her to build a magic time machine and go back to the 50's While it is nice to receive gifts etc from your man, it should not be forgotten that he needs some love too. Nothing wrong with picking up the check once in a while if not more.

Its bitches like this that make the rest of us look bad, and also why a lot of men can't respect women. Why should they respect anyone who is not willing to contribute

 

dude. if you give m $100 I'll kill her.

 

Preach it!

 

I didnt even have to read the whole post...All i did was read the title and the 1st sentence and i knew what this was about and that shes just your typical gold-digger

 

Anybody for a Royale with cheese?

 

Girls and guys, first off, thanks for all your input.

Let me start off by saying that she's not the type of girl who's like "oh let's go buy me this, can you buy me that"

And I'm not dumb, I don't just throw my money at her and let her buy whatever she wants. The whole thing started last week when we went out to eat 2 or 3 days in a row and I told her that I'm running low on money because the middle of the month is usually when I pay rent, car and all my other bills. She also had a big credit card bill so I still ended up paying. Well, I bought something for my car and she said "ok, don't complain that you're running out of money"

That's when I got mad and said "well maybe if you'd pay for something every now and then I wouldn't be running out of money, and you shouldn't be telling me how I should spend my money" Then she said "guys usually pay for everything" That's why I had this poll. I basicaly took it as if she would tell me "don't spend your money on the car because when we go out you won't have any money to spend" or something like that.

So it got me thinking about all the money I spent just to be with her and then she tells me not to spend any money on the car when everyone here knows how essential headers and the Icebox are for the CL

I told her that I have been paying for everything since we've been together and even when she offered I still wouldn't let her pay because I make more money than she does. Well that's when she said that I shouldn't complain and to take a look at how bratty her friend is who gets everything from her boyfriend and that I should be happy that she's not like her. Well, she's right, she doesn't ask for things, but that doesn't mean that I didn't spend a lot of money on non-material things. Her friend got a lot of stuff from her boyfriend that she uses every day, but I spend a lot of money on things that she never sees just to be with her.

So, she doesn't ask for things, but she doesn't seem to appreciate the things I pay for. She thinks that because her friend got all those things from her boyfriend like a TV that will always be there, I didn't spend just as much money on something else like $60 just to come and see her every time and things that add up to MORE than what her friend gets every week.

So in all, the statement "all guys pay for everything" got me mad. I know that there's girls out there that pay and wanted to prove her wrong so I let her read some of the replies She offers to pay but I usually refuse to let her. She thought it's her right to have me pay after so long. She's not stuck up, and I still love her, it's just a little fight and I wanted to prove her wrong that it's not my responsibility to pay and that she should be thankful.

BTW, now she's really mad and wants to split all the bills

 

You let her read this thread, huh? Good luck.

 

lol naw, I copied some responses and sent it to her email

 

Sounds like you are making maaaaaad escuses for this chick.

Do what you want, but don't bitch because she's running your bank account into the ground, sounds like you deserve to have her rape your wallet.

My ex was similarly worthless when it came to paying for things, or even her part of vacation, road trip etc. But she never once compared the money I spent on her to the money her friends boyfriends spent on them, and she never once questioned me spending money on myself before spending money on her. She was at least respectful and smart enough to STFU and let me spend money on her until I wised up, instead of just telling me straight up that I don't spend enough money on her like your girlfriend is doing. You best beleive if a chick talks like that to me she's gonna hit the curb with her gold digging ass.

 

I agree.....

AmooManiaK, it seems as if you really like her and therefore make up excuses for her..... You have your life and she has hers, you do what you want with your money and she does what she wants with her money, after that stuff, the stuff you do together should be split evenly, I think this is what everyone here is trying to tell you. It is funny that your first post is way different than your second post, you painted two completely different pictures of your girl.... were you maybe mad/pissed when you wrote the first post....???? I hope that she does pay for half the bills and that she does pick up the check every once in awhile.... She needs to do that not only to help you, but for her own ego, women that expect everything handed to them are not self reliant and who knows if she will always have you or any man around..... she needs to learn that now.

as you can see, I like independant chicks..... (damn, I am starting to hear the theme song to Charlies angels.... Damn, destiny's child songs.... ) Good Luck with your chick...

 

lol, I posted the first post when I was really pissed. I reread it today and...dammmn, I was really ripping on her. lol, She's not THAT bad, I mean if she was I wouldn't be with her. I pretty much just told everyone the bad things that happened in the relationship in the last 2 and a half years.

Maybe I should have cooled off before making the thread.

And believe me, if she was just after the money, I wouldn't be with her. Disregard everything but the poll. the question here is do you think guys should pay for everything.

Plus, she IS independant, just like Destiny's child. She works and goes to college. She buys me underwear and what not and she does spend some money on me too, but that wasn't the question. We buy each other stuff, but does that mean that guys should be always paying? No. Just trying to prove her wrong about that.