or have your bros do it!

 

Do what exactly???

 

Need to lay off dem synthetic salts mang

 

Bromance.

 

Some Catholic school in Adelaide unveiled a new statue
How unfortunate, they immediately covered it up

 

An hour left. Supposedly.

 

It's even an interspecies bromance. Fucking sick.

Fucking, sick.

Fucking. Sick.

 

Is he even technically a dude bro?

 

Probably be like poking a hole in one of those 10lb tubes of 75/25 hamburger and going to town with a half limp pumped up dick.

 

:gay:

 

Nothing wrong with a little Turkish bath among friends...
especially around the holidays.



Happy Thanksigving, guys...

 

Gobble gobble, you degenerates. (Just for today: turkey kind. Not weener kind)

Be thankful for shit you got. #BusinessPlan
Be thankful for shit you don't got. #CrabFree
Hug your kids. But if you don't have kids, ask first before hugging someone else's. #DontDoTime

 

 

Have a great Thanksgiving, folks.

 

3 minutes ago. . .

 

Just got back from stabbing a bunch of people at Walmart over a $199 HDTV. Probably going to head over to Best Buy and see if I can get in on some trampling next. Hope so. Getting a bit of a late start but I'd hate to break with tradition.

 

I despise the black friday shopping tradition...

 

Secretly, I'm not a big fan either. I mean, I think that All Fridays matter.

But I'm afraid to say that because I don't want to be called a racist. Because I'm not.

I know. Pusssaaay.

 

Okay, got 25% off a mattress because we happened to go check out the clearance area today at City Furniture...wasn't planned but saved $350...
I take what I said back.

 

I didn’t buy shit!

 

There's no 25% off Black Friday mattress sale
You probably beat your meat at mattress city
Asked for 25% off floormodel scratch and stains
Emphasis stain

Fucking J.. Blaming it on Black Friday
Of all the Fridays.. Racist.
Also #humblebrag on the price
I wouldn't have paid half that on a jizz stained mattress
Unless it was some white shit West Elm Pottery Barn joints

 

Went to this white boutique and bought a $2500 table
Doesn't even come with chairs
​​​​​​Jacked off on it and everything, shit
#lifestyle #fuckme

 

I bought two pairs of shoes.

Online. Fuck a retail shop.

Straight up hippie shoes, none of that Ulster fancy corporate shill bullshit. Minimalist shoes like wearing slippers all day, let's my toes spread out too. Me and my gorilla feet. I'll slap a bitch with my feet.

I been needing new shoes for about six months but I'm too cheap to pay full price. Gotta wait for the sale.

Then I went to the park and did activities with WagonJr, like a mad cunt. Poor dumb shits at the mall freaking out and smashing cars into each other with rage and I'm just over here laid back like a motherfuckers.

Because my feets are happy. Be wicked happy again when the new joints get here.

#HumbleBrag
#JustYuppieSuburbanCuntThings

 

Got the inspection done on the truck too. Nice little joint that doesn't fuck around. They just to their damn job and get me on my way. Complimentary coffee in the waiting room. Didn't even cool enough to drink before they were done.

The old place I used to go to would take hours to hook up the OBDII and scan. Bullshit. Wankers always about the upsell. Bullshit.

New place knows what's up. It was a good day.

#KuerigIsTooHot
#DontMakeMeGetTheAK
#MarkAssTrickIKnowTheWipersNeedReplacingI'llGetToI tDamn
#OldPlaceCanBlowMe
#InspectionIsJustAHustleAnyway

 

This fucker. Always on Azine too. Go to bed Matt.

 

On your old busted ass mattress but that you paid full price for because it wasn't pre-spunked on.

Nuthin' but nuttin'.

 

Mattresses is a racket too.

Fucking bullshit right there.

Should start sleeping on the floor like the old days. Caveman's didn't have pillowtops. Should just stack up some animal hides.

Probably need to spray for fleas though.

#BusinessPlan

 

Be easier to clean up when you get jizz or tamale gravy or creamed corn or whatever on it. Just throw away and slaughter another cow or something.

Probably not good for vegans though. They can just sleep on a giant tin of tofu or something.

 

got that plush...icomfort serta hybrid gel plush...
I was pretty laid back too...got the garage door opener working on a remote, among other things...I love fixing stuff around the house.

 

I'm done with fancy mattresses. Dropped some good coin last go around on a candyass fancy pants mattress. Super pillow (biter) top, extra thick. Damn thing needed special sheets because it was so thick (not a problem I'm used to). And it felt nice for a bit, but then after the honeymoon, I started thinking it's too soft. And too hot.

When I've had the occasion to sleep on the old poor people mattress (oh, been naughty better sleep in the other room) I moved into the spare bedroom after replacing it, I like it better.

Next mattress I get I'm going back to a poor people mattress. I'm going to go into the store, find the mattress that's basically a plywood board with a fabric cover, and ask to see one step up from there. The wood board with the thin Nerf pad.

Bam. Be sleeping like a princess again.

Soory in advance if I start acting nicer then.

 

honestly, same here...
I spent a TON on our last tempurpedic...in the divorce I recall B saying I could have the bed...then last minute she was like, naw...not the mattress...I was like uh okay...I get the big TV and outdoor furniture then...
once I started looking again I remembered how much new mattresses are I realized why she wanted to keep it. Plus, it has sweat stains on it and a piss stain from the dog and her BF had slept on my side already...
thanks anyway, you can have it.

We got one that normally goes for $2300...got it after that 120 night guarantee etc...have to use a mattress pad which seals it up and protects it...then it goes on clearance for $1300 plus some new box springs and delivery and taxes...
ended up $1260 out the door because of a $350 black Friday discount lil J pushed for...
I'm good with that...a grand is traditional mattress pricing...

 

main criteria = no lower back pain and no creaking for when we doin it quiet prison style so the 3 kids in the next room don't wake

 

 

In theory I wouldn't do this...
but when you get into high end tire territory, it's hard not to take a gander...
I just scored 2 9/32" Michelin PSS for $340 with free shipping in a 285/35/19...
Chip is the man...he pointed me to them.
Used Tires for Sale at Discount Prices - BestUsedTires.com

 

PSS? Really?

Pfffffffffffftttttt. I hear Pirelli is coming out with a new tire soon that will blow those away. I guess it's fine if you have a shit car though. Obviously not for your Audi. Obviously.

 

Dang, I should have waited.
Would I have heard of them at all?

 

 

 

You never learn
You're supposed to get a super creaky bed
Traumatize the shit out of the kids
PTSD level == NAM

 

LOL...I could do that to Zoe...but not someone else's kids!