I hear that from girls all the time...
they're like, uh...girls are GROSSER...bathroom is GROSSER.
I obviously tell them they can come use the men's room...I always even wipe off the seat of any piss just in case.

 

tru facts; if it's only a single room with a lock and the mens is in use; i go for the womens.

coming out all sly like...uhh no, i didnt just use the womens restroom

 

That's mighty gentlemanly of you

 

LOL...I figure it's the least I can do.
That and peeing sitting down at home to avoid splatter and any further competitions with me to piss furthest that anyone would lose.

 

 

Nothing wrong with sitting to piss at home. God bless no mess

 

That Audi driver looks like a certain cuck I know...

 

Who?'s probably watching right now

 

butt butt, how come y'all can never keep his name out y'alls mouf!?

 

Uh, cause we thought we were friends and we're pretty hurt by his behavior!

 

Fark. I dress like a BimBim driver?!??

 

Same...

 

I'm still waiting for the "drunk trucker, high on PCP" picture to show up. That would be me.

 

I dunno...big gwai-ro bois I know are usually in some sort of flat-cap baseball hat, long beard, sun-glasses, t-shirt, jeans...and in a giant pickup. Admit it, that's you.

 

I can't grow a beard

 

You Asian son?

 

But...you're gwai-ro! How is that possible?!? You are naturally hairy types of the human species!

You trying to say you are ...?!?!

 

This is my wife:


this is is my wife when I have to repeat myself:


And this is me:

 

I mean, I can grow some facial hair... But not enough to constitute even a half decent beard. Fucking genetics

 

Ah. Finally.

As I was about to leave work yesterday to grab Jr., I got a call from his preschool that he was complaining about feeling sick. Little bugger tricked me a while back so I was going in prepared this time. Get there and he's nearly in tears saying he feels like he's going to puke. uhohthismaybereal.jpg

Doesn't want to get in the car because he's afraid of what if he needs to puke on the way home. Ah-ha! I got you boy, I brought this here grocery bag!

Make it home no problem and on the 10 paces from the car to the front door, he lets loose the dogs of war masticated blueberries and water all over the driveway. not in the car!

Evacuates his guts for the rest of the evening and blows one last set of chunks this morning right as I was trying to figure out if he was well enough to go to school. Check. Staying home it is.

So today is a ""work" from home" day. So far, we've made two Lego kits. And no one is bitching at me about daydrinking.

 

I envy your day today. Would be fun Chilin with the little guy, playing with Lego. And getting drunk. Secretly.

Wash your fucking hands, though!!!

 

I can grow a full on beard...
like a damn man!

 

I love those WFH days!!!

I'm starting to travel every other week starting next week

It's gonna be nice to be remote

 

Want to travel up on dis dik?

 

Do you even have to ask?

 

Is the sky blue?

 

Yeah, but I need to restrain myself. Eating lunch and he says "can we go have a water fight" and in my mind I was like "fuck yeah we can have a water fight; ain't got shit else to do!" but I had to go dadmode and explain that being home sick isn't a reward or a playtime, it's time to rest and get better.

Fucking little genius then retorts with, "but I feel better and I haven't vomited since this morning so I'm not sick anymore so can we play now?"

I mean, shit, *technically* he's correct... But I don't think I can just take him back to school now; which I want to do to reinforce the home-when-sick but work-when-well ethos. So I guess it's feed him Benadryl and be like "see, you're sleepy, time to rest."

No. I won't do that.

 

But you will

 

And then go have a water fight on your own

 

Because you're that type of dad

 

Father of the fuckin year right there...
is that better or worse than me?

Z is running all over the place moving things and fuckin shit up...and she loves bringing me toys...
so I bought a pack of racquetballs when I need to tire her out and I play fetch with her while simultaneously doing house chores.
Runner up for FOTY!??!

 

That's just being resourceful. And who knows, you might just end up with the next Paola Longoria!

 

her two things...
shooz...shooz...SHOOOOZZZZZ
Always walking around with someones damn shoes.

and bah, bah...BAHHHHH
fkng picking up balls (don't do it dickheads, I'm warning you )
she brings it to you and when you're about to get it in your hand she tosses it but it looks hilarious every time...
now she starts saying KICK...and kicking too.

Also...she picks up anything shaped like a phone now and puts it to her ear and goes HEWWWOOOOOO **in voice of old asian 'no and then' lady in dude where's my car**

she absolutely makes my day every day that I get the blessing of fkng seeing her.

 

You're his bff.. tell us his name
We loost it..

You do own a Mini

You're just a Cock
a Mini one

 

Actually that Audi pic is Kurt.. I think he tucked his penis.. for reasons

 

Tucking unnecessary.. he just took a deep breath

 

FFS FJ.. are you really moralefagging whether you should have a kickass time with Wagon Jr.

Dude.. that's the fucking worst..

 

Just text with previous owner of Jade...
she decided she cannot part with her a second time and she's making it so she can keep her for good.
OMG, I'm SOOO relieved to know she's in a familiar place and with someone that truly loves her.
When we adopted FROM her she was so heartbroken. I always kept in touch and sent her pics of the her
with the other 2 looking happy...

Funny but about a year ago she text me asking about her but I could tell she was kinda fishing...I asked her
now if my intuition was right and she said yes...that she would never have had the gall to ask for her but
she missed her terribly.

Funny how everything works out.

 

That's awesome DeerMeat! *I'm* really glad to hear that. I hope that goofy ol' dog lives a great long life with her new/old owner.

 

No. I'm trying keep him in line. He's a little too smart for his own good so if I relent a little bit, even once, it'll come back around. This kid is able to argue his point, citing sources, and win. It's happened before.

So if I let "sick day" become "fun day" then it sets a precedent. And while I can typically handle it; my wife the marshmallow push-over will get walked all over. For the greater good and long term sanity/well being of me and him, I need to limit the kickass time.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Fun times will be had, he just can't realize that it's on his terms yet.