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The Official Spiders Thread (AKA The Scare stogie1020 w/ Scary Spiders Thread)

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The Official Spiders Thread (AKA The Scare stogie1020 w/ Scary Spiders Thread)

Old 06-29-2010, 10:15 AM
  #81  
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Originally Posted by CocheseUGA View Post
I hope you killed that thing with fire.

Thrice.
Oh no. I'm serious. We brought it home. My son is a bug fanatic.

He picks up spiders with his hands to take them outside when he finds them in the house. He knows not to do that with anything that resembles a brown recluse or something similar.

I'm serious about sending it too. When my son sees this thread he's gonna want to ship it priority.

Where's Jeffords address? Anyone?
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:17 AM
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WTF is that.

I'd be terrified it'd sneak up on me and put those antennae (?) in my peepee hole.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:20 AM
  #83  
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:21 AM
  #84  
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Originally Posted by CocheseUGA View Post
WTF is that.

I'd be terrified it'd sneak up on me and put those antennae (?) in my peepee hole.

They start off as Hellgrammites, but Shalooby's pic is of a grown male Eastern Dobsonfly.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:29 AM
  #85  
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Originally Posted by gatrhumpy View Post
How fast can they run?!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...8125954AAdQH7h

Fast enough for you to want to stab the bastard with a ka-bar!! They're quick in short spurts.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:36 AM
  #86  
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Originally Posted by Hapa DC5 View Post
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...8125954AAdQH7h

Fast enough for you to want to stab the bastard with a ka-bar!! They're quick in short spurts.
About up to 10MPH.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:40 AM
  #87  
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This thread is gold, gold Jerry!
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:44 AM
  #88  
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<- sets fire to half of the eastern US.
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:20 AM
  #89  
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Originally Posted by Shalooby View Post
Oh no. I'm serious. We brought it home. My son is a bug fanatic.

He picks up spiders with his hands to take them outside when he finds them in the house. He knows not to do that with anything that resembles a brown recluse or something similar.

I'm serious about sending it too. When my son sees this thread he's gonna want to ship it priority.

Where's Jeffords address? Anyone?
send it to his job!

http://www.lightstonesolutions.com/a...englander.html

I bet the address is on that site!
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:23 AM
  #90  
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Originally Posted by #1 STUNNA View Post
send it to his job!

http://www.lightstonesolutions.com/a...englander.html

I bet the address is on that site!
I see it.

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Old 06-29-2010, 11:26 AM
  #91  
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what is that shallooby?
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:32 AM
  #92  
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Originally Posted by Shalooby View Post
Oh no. I'm serious. We brought it home. My son is a bug fanatic.

He picks up spiders with his hands to take them outside when he finds them in the house. He knows not to do that with anything that resembles a brown recluse or something similar.

I'm serious about sending it too. When my son sees this thread he's gonna want to ship it priority.

Where's Jeffords address? Anyone?
Originally Posted by #1 STUNNA View Post
send it to his job!

http://www.lightstonesolutions.com/a...englander.html

I bet the address is on that site!


I smell a "Delivery to stogie1020....." thread coming
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:35 AM
  #93  
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Please don't send to my work. My receptionist opens my mail. You will be responsible if anyone dies of fright...

and FTR:

1. There was a muthafuggin TARANTULA in my muthafuggin garage!

2. I TRIED to not kill it by flicking it back into nature, but underestimated my superhero strength and the leverage provided by the sheet of cardboard used to flip it. it chose to die upon impact. I did not choose to kill it. Until it was already 1/2 dead, then I really killed it. With a small gardening shovel.
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:36 AM
  #94  
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I see he's gone ahead and update his resume on his website. Still needs to do something about that picture though....

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Old 06-29-2010, 11:39 AM
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:57 AM
  #96  
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Originally Posted by stogie1020 View Post
Please don't send to my work. My receptionist opens my mail. You will be responsible if anyone dies of fright...

and FTR:

1. There was a muthafuggin TARANTULA in my muthafuggin garage!

2. I TRIED to not kill it by flicking it back into nature, but underestimated my superhero strength and the leverage provided by the sheet of cardboard used to flip it. it chose to die upon impact. I did not choose to kill it. Until it was already 1/2 dead, then I really killed it. With a small gardening shovel.
Note to self: mark it "Security Clearance Alpha-1: Eyes Only for Jefford Englander.'

Originally Posted by #1 STUNNA View Post
I see he's gone ahead and update his resume on his website. Still needs to do something about that picture though....

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Old 06-29-2010, 12:06 PM
  #97  
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Originally Posted by phee View Post
i cant believe no one caught the irony in slys post
Glad to hear someone got it.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:45 PM
  #98  
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You live in Arizona and you didn't even know that was a tarantula? Or the fact it's harmless? You really do need to move.

I didn't even kill the brown widow I had living on my porch. Damn you're a wussy.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:48 PM
  #99  
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:04 PM
  #100  
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I nominate this thread for the AZ Hall of Fame!
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:47 PM
  #101  
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i just read everything. I did a double take on slys post right when i read it.

And jefford, you killed an animal that lives for 20 years. Do you realize what youve done to the ecosystem!? now roaches and shit are going to get to be the size of fucking cocker spaniels! You are the BP of Arizona! youve just destroyed our delicate food web. Good luck to you all I have retreated to my indestructible bunker located near Ken.
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:58 PM
  #102  
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Originally Posted by invisiblewar View Post

And jefford, you killed an animal that lives for 20 years. Do you realize what youve done to the ecosystem!? now roaches and shit are going to get to be the size of fucking cocker spaniels! You are the BP of Arizona! youve just destroyed our delicate food web. Good luck to you all I have retreated to my indestructible bunker located near Ken.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:38 PM
  #103  
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Heh heh heh.......
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:44 PM
  #104  
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Originally Posted by SuperTrooper169 View Post
You live in Arizona and you didn't even know that was a tarantula? Or the fact it's harmless? You really do need to move.

I didn't even kill the brown widow I had living on my porch. Damn you're a wussy.
Harmless my ass. This thing broke off a beer bottle and lunged at me yelling "I am not going back!"...

I acted purely in self defense.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:48 PM
  #105  
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You're still alive?
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:48 PM
  #106  
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Originally Posted by SuperTrooper169 View Post
You live in Arizona and you didn't even know that was a tarantula? Or the fact it's harmless? You really do need to move.

I didn't even kill the brown widow I had living on my porch. Damn you're a wussy.
I wouldn't care if it curtsied and danced to Beethoven. That fugga is NASTY!!
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:52 PM
  #107  
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Originally Posted by TS_eXpeed View Post
I wouldn't care if it curtsied and danced to Beethoven. That fugga is NASTY!!
I would capture it and market it and be a millionare!
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:52 PM
  #108  
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Originally Posted by Whiskers View Post
You're still alive?
This is what I am saying!
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:54 PM
  #109  
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Originally Posted by Bdog View Post
To be more specific, the Desert/Arizona Blond Tarantula. They usually live about 20 years... this one didn't.
Maybe the rest of them will have a school assembly where the elders discuss the dangers of entering strangers garages...

I do not invade to temporarily occupy their natural habitat (some call this "camping") and I expect the same courtesy from the spider community.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by stogie1020 View Post
This is what I am saying!
Is the cake a lie?
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:55 PM
  #111  
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It was a baby! It was just looking at Jefford with big puppy eyes and saying "Daddy?", when BAM! he was flying through the air and the lights went dim. As he was coming to, he saw the shovel and that was the end of a young, precious life.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:55 PM
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:59 PM
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:59 PM
  #114  
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Originally Posted by gatrhumpy View Post
How fast can they run?!
probably not faster than a grown man screaming like a little girl

Originally Posted by Shalooby View Post

Where's Jeffords address? Anyone?
Originally Posted by #1 STUNNA View Post
send it to his job!

http://www.lightstonesolutions.com/a...englander.html

I bet the address is on that site!
the rules are, you have, HAVE to send it USPS Priority
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:01 PM
  #115  
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I wonder if Jefford sounds like the women in my house when they see a little centipede or daddy longleg in the house? The scream is usually enough to hurt the ears.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by svtmike View Post
It was a baby! It was just looking at Jefford with big puppy eyes and saying "Daddy?", when BAM! he was flying through the air and the lights went dim. As he was coming to, he saw the shovel and that was the end of a young, precious life.
Jefford is so cruel...Time to call PETA.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by fsttyms1 View Post
I wonder if Jefford sounds like the women in my house when they see a little centipede or daddy longleg in the house? The scream is usually enough to hurt the ears.
Why do you wonder, Kris...? The title change confirms it.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:06 PM
  #118  
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Originally Posted by CocheseUGA View Post
Is the cake a lie?
Cake is NEVER a lie.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:08 PM
  #119  
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Originally Posted by Yumcha View Post
Why do you wonder, Kris...? The title change confirms it.
I suppose that is a valid answer. Wonder what would happen to jefford if he saw mommy running around his garage now?
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:10 PM
  #120  
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Originally Posted by fsttyms1 View Post
I wonder if Jefford sounds like the women in my house when they see a little centipede or daddy longleg in the house? The scream is usually enough to hurt the ears.
I did not scream. I expertly approached from the venous beasts' 6 o'clock in a ninja like fashion.

Then, I lept into my masterful kung-fu pose and confidently uttered a "Hi-Yah!"
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