If the first paragraph reads like it wasn't written by a dumbass girl, click here.

It's on pages 24 and 25. I swear, every piece of feedback makes me a better writer.

I just want to be the best I can be so please don't sugarcoat anything.

Thanks guys

 

Maybe you could add some quotes from those two. It would be interesting to know why they decided to use the Insight.

Why the connection between 22 years old and community college? Is that the demographics for this mag? Does that guy actually go to community college?

 

Pretty good article. At least average for one of that type. Not really my cup of tea as far as style of cars but it was still an interesting read of a "dare to be different" type buildup.

I'd agree with F-C on maybe using some quotes. Even just some small blurbs add a good amount of color in the middle of your own prose.

 

I'm interested in finding out what steps you took to get this published, I'm a journalism grad who's also interested in writing for a car magazine.

You article is not bad, the only thing I'd change about the article is a better transition between the intro about the clutch being fun and making a hybrid into a drag car.

A side note: I really don't think I could write for any publication that felt it necessary to list a model's bra size as part of an interview.