2001AudiS4

Back in 2019, I was 270 lbs and about to be a first time father in my mid 40s. I had been trying to lose weight for a while, as we struggled to have kids. I did well for a stretch, lost 30 lbs, but did it alone. My wife would not join me in my quest. I tried my hardest to get her to join me, insisting this was paramount to her health and ability to conceive. She was also quite overweight. She will not eat healthy foods, no veggies, no fish, will choke down grilled chicken in small amounts. So I tried to guilt her into joining me, saying that if she won't join me, I am just going to stop after all the hard work I put in already. That backfired and all the weight came back. That was 2016-2017

Fast forward to 2019, and with the help of a great fertility clinic and after 3 miscarriages, we finally had a pregnancy go to terms and our son was born in November that year. I was at my heaviest at the 270 lbs I mentioned. I decided that to hell with my wife, I am doing this for me and more importantly, our newborn son, as I did not want to leave him fatherless cause I couldn't stop stuffing my face. I started both dieting and exercising. I gave myself a target weight goal as well as target date, his 1st birthday. I worked my ass off, increasing my exercise as I got in better shape, and altered my diet as I went, figuring out what I can and cannot eat. I reached my goal weight basically as the clock clicked on midnight of his birthday, at 185 lbs. We had his party that day and that is the last time I saw 185 lbs. I have hovered just above it at time, but mostly in the 195 to 205 range, sometimes a little higher. Now that is not terrible, but psychologically, after all the work I put in, I do not want to see a 2 in front of my weight ever again, which is why I want to be at 185. It means I can go to a party, or a holiday, and not worry about eating a bit too much as I would still be well below. At 195, thats not the case.

I am no longer to do any of the exercising I did. I just had rotator cuff surgery which eliminates all my weight training. My knee is worse than my shoulder, which eliminates all of the cardio I did. All the ab exercises used a combination of my shoulder and knee. So exercise has gone to zero. Diet alone isn't cutting it. I can eat 1200 calories and gain weight. I track everything so I can see my caloric intake daily. It's hard staying away from all the junk my wife insists we need in the house for the kids (my daughter will be 2 next month, we have just the two).

I am wondering if anyone else has struggled like this. If yes, did you find anything that works for you? I am currently out of work as my shoulder rehab continues. I really have to find a whole new line of work as I don't want to scale my business to have employees (been there, it was awful) and it is a physical job, which has led to my physical ailments. So I have to watch my stress eating on top of everything. Sorry for the long post, just hoping to find if anyone else has been through anything similar

Oh, worth mentioning that I do have an appointment with an endocrinologist but its not until January. a 4 month waiting list to get an appointment. My general ran blood work though and everything was within range, thyroid looked to be fine, but will wait to see what the endo says.

MyGuti

Stop making excuses.
1st it was your wife that was holding you back,
Then you set a goal and achieved it, which should have led to another goal, yet it didn't. (another excuse in here?)

You may have physical ailments, sure.
But your biggest ailment is mentally.
Get out, walk uphill, downhill, whatever hill you need. Start small and set shorter goals (meaning shorter time periods to achieve them)
For starters, I would set goals as to how many days your going to exercise, then work from there.

Also, listen to some daily motivators to get your ass in gear.
I would recommend David Goggins.
Don't be a bitch, if your doing this for kids, then do it.

2001AudiS4

Excuses 🙄

Literally can't fucking walk more than ten steps with my current knee issue and have use of one arm. I lost 85 fucking pounds in 10 months, you ever do that? That wasn't from being lazy. I literally cannot do the exercise at the moment, I cannot get the knee repaired yet as the doctor will only tackle one issue at a time, for a reason. Came her for some motivation, not an asshole being a fucking asshole🤬

MyGuti

sometimes you need a kick in your ass to get things jump started.
i was trying to be the motivating factor lol
let goggins save your fat ass

cant walk 10 steps, walk 9 then and work your way up to 10

F-C

That's rough. I don't have any experience with what you are going through.
Maybe try a certified physical trainer to see what types of exercises you can do with your limited mobility that would provide some benefits? Hopefully surgery will be successful.

2001AudiS4

Thanks. Surgery went ok, and shoulder is slowly getting better. Still don't have full motion and doing PT a couple times a week. We have only been working on stretching and regaining motion, no strength exercises yet. They believe I am close to the threshold they place to where I can start with strengthening exercises. It still gets pretty sore after the mobility exercises though, so hopefully the strengthening isn't too bad.

F-C

Really good physical therapists can do wonders.

Not much I can add, but wife had to go through a knee surgery because of a ski accident years ago. She went through a long PT process. After she recovered, she studied to become a certified physical trainer. Goal was not to train others, but to better understand her own body so that she could prevent future injuries. At the end of the process, she not only got her certificate, but she lost a ton of weight and got super fit. So it can be done even after surgery.

Sarlacc

Go on instagram and check out kneesovertoesguy. See if you’re able to do any of the basic stuff he shares. It’s a lot about knee strengthening/recovery/bullet proofing. I incorporate bits and pieces of his stuff into my work outs.

it’s tough. I have disk degeneration, hyper elasticity, and tendinitis. I had to sort of rethink my training with the help of my PT. And also realize at 45 I don’t need to be trying to lift like a bodybuilder.

Logging your caloric is a big move imo. It what I have to do to maintain balance. But while you’re maintaining and not working out. The types of calories are just as important as the mount. High protein, be careful about the amount of sugar and salt. Enough fiber so you’re shitting regularly, etc.

maintaining your personal diet is difficult when sharing a home with someone who doesn’t want to partake, and then kids who are in their own dietary world. This is where your partner has to at least understand, accept and respect your dietary needs are different. And you have to deal with willpower to not eat the crap you get for her or the kids. Stock fruits and veggies, easy to grab proteins for you.

and make sure you drink enough water daily. People forget the importantance or proper hydration and what it does for the body.

TLow4g

Hey, NPC classic champion here, I am currently finishing my bulk and started my cut @220 lbs from 169 on stage (5% bf) what I find the best when I am injured is to literally spend as much time as you can stretching and going on the Stairmaster for 30 minutes to a hour. I dont eat carbs on a cut and try to eliminate sugar. its hard but you're already killing it. 285 to 185 is insane bro. let your body heal otherwise more injuries will come . also do hypertrophy training.

TLow4g

bro you succkkkk, this isn't helpful at all , you're just being an asshole

Doom878

Congrats on that big weight loss. That is quite a feat and you did it without a gastric surgery or Ozempic. You clearly learned good habits so you'll have to tighten up on them even though you are not in a good place. Lots of great suggestions here: calorie tracking, hire a good PT, see an endo, hypertrophy routine (when you're ready). I had the same issue where I couldn't get under 200 and made minor tweaks to get under and still have a fun lifestyle. I would get injured from certain weight training exercises so I studied proper form or stopped certain exercises when I went to a hypertrophy-focused workout. As a result, I'm 45 and play soccer regularly and continue to lift weights with no issues. You definitely need to heal up but at the same time, do whatever kind of exercise that is possible to offset the calories you're eating. Stretching was mentioned and believe it or not that can induce hypertrophy if done correctly and intense enough. Sure you can't walk but there are exercises/machines that you can do without exacerbating your injuries. Feel free to ask questions here and we can point you out to various resources. Good luck