Cars That Smoked Your RDX
02-04-2008, 11:38 AM
#1
Safety Car
Thread Starter
Cars That Smoked Your RDX
Smart-fortwo Passion Coupe:
"It happened on the strip where the road is wide, two cool sharks standin' side by side..."
Well, actually it was in the Wal-Mart parking lot, but we were neck-n-neck when we both spotted THE ideal parking space. The growl from his 1.0 liter 3 banger rose to a wail and the challenge was on. I grabbed a fistful of Sport mode and grinned maliciously as we both paddle shifted down. I was getting pushed out of shape and it was hard to steer, but the VSA wasn't allowing rubber in any gear.
He swerved around a shopper while I shot the gap between the cart return and a furious rent-a-cop. "Undocumented guest workers" ran screaming as jumbo rolls of Bounty thumped off my windshield. My victorious glee turned to chagrin when I realized I was locked in 1st -- D@MN....I hadn't paddled up!! -- and he blew by me as I was bouncing on the fuel cut-off!
He dismissively bypassed my "ideal" parking space, entered through the sliding doors and parked in the lobby between the Coke machine and the Rocket-to-Mars. Bored housewives tried to put quarters into his car so their kids could ride.
I furtively slunk out the back, between the waste oil bin and the returned mowers, discouraged and defeated. There'll be no Hamburger Helper tonight.
"It happened on the strip where the road is wide, two cool sharks standin' side by side..."
Well, actually it was in the Wal-Mart parking lot, but we were neck-n-neck when we both spotted THE ideal parking space. The growl from his 1.0 liter 3 banger rose to a wail and the challenge was on. I grabbed a fistful of Sport mode and grinned maliciously as we both paddle shifted down. I was getting pushed out of shape and it was hard to steer, but the VSA wasn't allowing rubber in any gear.
He swerved around a shopper while I shot the gap between the cart return and a furious rent-a-cop. "Undocumented guest workers" ran screaming as jumbo rolls of Bounty thumped off my windshield. My victorious glee turned to chagrin when I realized I was locked in 1st -- D@MN....I hadn't paddled up!! -- and he blew by me as I was bouncing on the fuel cut-off!
He dismissively bypassed my "ideal" parking space, entered through the sliding doors and parked in the lobby between the Coke machine and the Rocket-to-Mars. Bored housewives tried to put quarters into his car so their kids could ride.
I furtively slunk out the back, between the waste oil bin and the returned mowers, discouraged and defeated. There'll be no Hamburger Helper tonight.
Great story, it brought a smile to my face! 
02-04-2008, 04:28 PM
#3
Safety Car
Thread Starter
Homeless Guy Pushing All His Stuff in a Shopping Cart
OK, so a homeless guy's shopping cart isn't exactly a "car", but there we were -- our bumpers were even -- me at the light, him on the sidewalk. He reached into a grimy bag and pulled out an old shoe with half the sole flapping loose. He flapped it at me like a grotesque, flapping mouth. He shouted something about "frequencies" and "midget sex". He was mocking me! I HAD to waste him!
Enraged -- and thinking I was in my GTI -- I held the clutch in and tached to 4k. As the light turned green (and the walk sign changed from red-hand to white stick-man) I launched!
Acrid smoke billowed up around the car -- the boost and tach needles were buried -- but WTF??? Where was that familiar seatback shove? Through burning eyes and the wafting blue cloud I could see him out in front -- head low, cackling -- pushing hard. He had me by 3 shopping cart lengths, and was pulling away!
Too late -- I realized I was NOT in my GTI -- I was in the RDX and the "clutch" I'd been holding was the #U@#!N% PARKING BRAKE! All 260 foot/pounds were alternately chirping the front tires and straining against stuttering locked brakes. The car was jumpily inching foward amid the din of angry horns. Four kids in a slammed, winged Prelude whipped around me laughing derisively.
From across the intersection, the victorious homeless guy nailed my fender with half a blackened banana. Crushed, I had to sit through another red light, cheeks burning, feeling his insane glare boring into me.
I've got to smoke somebody -- and I will. That Good Humor punk thinks his ice cream truck is fast? We'll see about that...
OK, so a homeless guy's shopping cart isn't exactly a "car", but there we were -- our bumpers were even -- me at the light, him on the sidewalk. He reached into a grimy bag and pulled out an old shoe with half the sole flapping loose. He flapped it at me like a grotesque, flapping mouth. He shouted something about "frequencies" and "midget sex". He was mocking me! I HAD to waste him!
Enraged -- and thinking I was in my GTI -- I held the clutch in and tached to 4k. As the light turned green (and the walk sign changed from red-hand to white stick-man) I launched!
Acrid smoke billowed up around the car -- the boost and tach needles were buried -- but WTF??? Where was that familiar seatback shove? Through burning eyes and the wafting blue cloud I could see him out in front -- head low, cackling -- pushing hard. He had me by 3 shopping cart lengths, and was pulling away!
Too late -- I realized I was NOT in my GTI -- I was in the RDX and the "clutch" I'd been holding was the #U@#!N% PARKING BRAKE! All 260 foot/pounds were alternately chirping the front tires and straining against stuttering locked brakes. The car was jumpily inching foward amid the din of angry horns. Four kids in a slammed, winged Prelude whipped around me laughing derisively.
From across the intersection, the victorious homeless guy nailed my fender with half a blackened banana. Crushed, I had to sit through another red light, cheeks burning, feeling his insane glare boring into me.
I've got to smoke somebody -- and I will. That Good Humor punk thinks his ice cream truck is fast? We'll see about that...
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andysinnh
2G RDX Audio, Bluetooth, Electronics & Navigation
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09-05-2015 11:38 PM
