Gotta question, just checking my jealous-ometer

Ok here's the thing, me and my girl have been together 1 yr and 7 months now. We had a few incidents where trust came up (I found/read her online blog and found some stuff...made a post a while back about it) well since then I have gotten over it but she still thinks I don't trust her. Truth is I do trust her but there is one issue I don't like

Her Male Friends...

She has a few that are cool and whatever but she has a few that aren't. Basically I have female friends and I don't flirt, don't talk on a regular basis, met all their boyfriends and are cool with them.

My girl on the other hand has male friends who "don't want to meet me" or say inappropriate comments to my girlfriend. Now she doesnt hang out with them and a few don't even live in the state but what happens is. We will be cool then one of them will call and say something retarded like "Can he hear me" and of course I can since her phone is like a loud speaker. THEN after she gets off the phone its ackward because they will say shit she's knows I am going to get mad about and I tell her if they were real friends they would respect me. Plus there is one who calls her a lot, like 2 times a week to talk. Maybe its just me but I don't talk to a girl unless I like her, or making plans with her...and he ain't making plans.

The problem is they don't then it gets her back to the trust issue and she gets mad at me. It is driving me nuts and I keep telling her I wouldn't care if they were respectful but the fact that they aren't is gonna cause problems.

Should I just bite my lip and let it ride since technically its not like they are fucking her. Or do I have a right to be upset and punch them in the mouth when I see them?

Meh i would get pissed too. Having male friends is fine but why do they have to talk shit. Hell if she knows it bothers you then why does she answer the phone when you are around?

Punch mouth is my answer.

Its very understandable, a true friend will at the very least, offer respect to someone who is in a relationship.

If you make a big deal about it, she will see it as you not trusting her/wanting to control her. If you really do trust her, she will need her space and support from you; further if your doing your job right(not just in bed) she will not be available for them now or in the future.

Being jealous is some what normal for most guys, just don't let her know about it, it shows insecurity in yourself, her and the two of you together. At the same time don't promote her spending time with the assholes, but if she is try not to make a big deal about it.

Remember woman don't really want to solve there problems, they just want to talk about them. This drives the problem solver's(all men) crazy, because they don't like to talk about shit, they like to get shit done. So even though she will tell/bitch about the guys to you, she probably doesn't want a solution, she just wants to get it out and have you listen.

God I hate women, I was thinking of telling her we should spend 2 months apart from each other and get things in perspective. Bad idea? We live 100 miles a way and see each other on the weekends from 2-4 days a week matters about school.

You as a man should know that guys are friends with girls because somehow they were denied the prize and haven't given up yet. I'm not saying to not trust your girl, I'm saying don't trust the guys (unless they are gay)

Woman under 25 and talking to men / ex. = bad
Woman over 25 and talking to men / ex. = ok

man nip that in the bud.

pick up the phone and just tell them "ever call her again and you're dead"

problem solved. If she doesn't see these bozos as a problem then move on to a woman who will respect you (and hopefully is company with decent people, not scumbags)

sorry dude, you're getting played. especially if long distance.

So true. This happens with me all the time. A girl will complain about something, and I offer a suggestion about how to fix it. Conversation over, right? Nope. They skip right over my suggestion and continue to complain. I remind her that I had already solved the problem, so the conversation should be over with. Again, no dice. More complaining. Makes no sense.

helluva bad idea if you want to keep her. She'll run to one of her "friends" balling about how you need space - he tells her how great she is and what a wonderful women she is and how she doesn't deserve you and how he "listens to her feelings"

bam, he's nailing her that night and you are out of the picture.

trust me, I've done it dozens of times. Some woman comes to me balling about her boyfriend/husband means I'm getting laid for sure.

ok i thought i was the only one

Bingo, well said. They shouldn't have 1 thing to say to her that'd make them ask "can he hear me." Those friendships should be either:

1. transparent so you know everything going on
or
2. non-existent

You'll see as you get older that the whole male w/ frmale friend and female w. male friend thing doesn't work if you're in a relationship. Is Bob gonna cswing by and go shopping with her? If you say they don't hang together, then in what way are they friends? I would discourage it, and if it's an issue, then there's an issue. Don't be made a fool of....you don't know WHAT they're saying while you're not around and believe me, she's not telling you 100% of it, either cause she knows you'll be pissed (the semi-innocent reason) or she's considering the offer (the evil reason.)

If this isn't a serious relationship, don't sweat it and have fun. But if you're committed, then things have gotta change. We don't have "gut feelings" for no reason, right?

you're a guy, you know how guys think, so i'm with .

-punch in tha mouth

That's the very best evidence. You already know how guys think, plus if ya'll live that far apart, they may be making the most of that distance. forget the blog, can you check her cell records? Perhaps get her on a family plan with just you adn her so you have access to the call logs. Might be innnnnnnnteressting evidence.

I think I have the first girl who both complains and wants a solution and best of all, is willing to accept one.

Somtimes you just wanna their past

my ex was like that, too bad she wanted dick from a couple more guys at school

Bingo. They like to push it. To see what their boundaries are.

"gee, I can treat this guy like utter crap...even talk to other men pursuing me and he just rolls over. This is kinda fun having a dishrag to cater to my needs while I do whatever I want"

Face it fellas. You've all had that girl. You know...THAT girl. The one you could walk all over and pretty much spit in her parents face and she will still say "what did I do wrong? Why won't you love me? Maybe if I try harder and kiss your ass more you'll love me." It just gets nausiating after a while. But you wouldn't dare break up with her (even though in your mind you're not really dating/in relationship but her's...well...she thinks your the bomb. So what if you don't answer the phone when she calls. You've got better things to do than be an emotional crutch for some hot bimbo that just so happens to be fabulous in bed. because we all know backup nookie is better than no nookie. don't think for a minute that woman don't feel the same way about a doormat boyfriend.

Your a man, now act like one.

I don't really care for any of my friends boyfriends, nor do I want to meet them. However, I guess i'll give the dude enough respect not to cause problems in the relationship, because he's banging one of my friends, and I don't want to hear any shit from her.

The guys deserve it and as far as your girl goes, watch A Bronx Tale. The good girls are the ones that look out for YOU for YOUR OWN GOOD. Behind every great man is a great woman, not some skank wench. If you can't trust your girl or if she's talking shit about you behind your back, then she's not someone you want to have in the trenches when shit gets tough. It's not worth investing your time into someone who will let her friends talk that shit.

Imagine that your friends are talking shit to you about your girl. You'd tell them to shut the fuck up and respect that she's your girlfriend. If she's not doing the same, then it's pure disrespect and she needs to get kicked to the curb.

And believe me, and women, please back me up on this. No girl who is really into and devoted to a guy will field calls from male "friends." Think about it. You wouldn't be calling up girls right now unless you had interest in them. When I'm really into a girl, I'm just not thinking about other girls or calling them or making plans with them. If a girl called me when I'm going out with someone, I just have a little chat to catch up and that's it. If she called me twice a week, I'd tell her that I'm seeing someone. Only if I'm still playing the field would I take calls from her regularly. Think about it.

But if you girl is telling them to not talk shit about you then I think you have a good girl on your hands. I think you know deep in your heart if your girl is a good one or a skank wench. Go with it.

my I gotta agree with scl23. If she was really into you, and the fact that you don't get to see each other all the time, the time you do spend with each other should be enjoyed. she shouldn't be talking to her guy friends with you around if she respects you and enjoys the time you two have with one another. When I was in a relationship that was long distance and I was with my guy, all my calls would be ignored or sent to v-mail because I valued what time I had with him. All my friends knew this and when I didn't pick up my calls they all knew that I was with him and respected it, male and female.

Sounds to me like she's immature and jerking your chain to see how much she can get away with.

i kinda had this problem with my current gf.

she had a friend from back home that used to text message her on weekends. i mean like ALL weekend for hours at a time every day. And not normal how you doing shit .. like "i'm thinking about you and its making me hard" shit. man did i get pissed. she didnt understand b/c this guy is married, but whatever ... made no difference to me. no one should be saying shit like that EVERY day for ours when me and her are trying to be alone.

so i just sat down with her one night and told her i didnt like that shit. not her end b/c she would just ignore it and not reply, but his part being disrespectful and pulling that. She understood after some talking, and put and end to it.

so i say just sit down with her and try to work it out.

pssht.

this post is pretty similar to my problem where she has guy "friends" which some of them do piss me off. she has quite a few guy friends but there are two different types. the ones that will call and try to make plans with her which there is about 4 of them and then the other ones who call her up everyonce and a while and see how she's doing and catch up on things, which i have no problem with. the problem i have is where the guys that calls her up and ask if she wants to go out.

now wtf, i know they are puishing thier limits and it pisses me off. if they respected me then they wouldn't be asking her out to do this and that with them. as u know trust is a big issue. can i trust her and not these guys, i say yes but then to her it comes back down to not trusting her. lately i've been biting the bullet but one of them will make me crack and it will end with a punch in the face.

to me they are pushing thier limits and when they realize they can't go any further they will stop which two of whom did but starts up every once in a while. if it keeps happening i would want to meet these guys and wait for them to say something and then hit them. my sry about my rant

i had the same problem with my boyfriend.. he had some female friends who were obviously trying to hook up with him..

I got pissed and he replies, what you dont trust me?

and im like its not you its those evil girls. and hes like riiight...

but whatever, one girl completely dissapeared and stopped talking to him when he mentioned having a girlfriend, and the other got married and has pretty much dissapeared as well

JesusJuice, if you sense something, it's probably true. In other words, the guy friend of hers A) dislike you very much (reasons why? Maybe she talks badly about you to him whenever she fights with you?) B) He has the hots for her and wants to convince her he's the "right" one for her, not you. There's nothing you could do about it since she doesn't flow with what you believe. A woman picking up a phone chatting happily with a guy friend is one thing, to hear the guy friend saying "can he hear me?" is another. That would tick me off. You're in a bad situation bro, if she really loves you, you just have to trust her. <--- yeah, it's gonna be tough.

Don't take shit from the assholes talking trash about you. Normal "guy friends" is one thing, but these guys are not "just friends." They wouldn't be so concerned about you if they were. These guys are trying to pull some shit and your girl knows it.

Kick the bitch to the curb if she tries that "you just don't trust me!" line.

Wow, well said. Especially that last sentence.

whew, I went back and read everyone's post in this thread. There are some GOOD fucking advices for you JesusJuice (Especially scl23 and spidey07). My gf of 7+ years has a childhood friend (a dude). Although they've known each other since 1st grade(longer than she knows me), I don't think I ever had to sit down with her telling her I'm so pissed because he's being disrespectful to me. My girl is very into drag racing, so on the day of E-town drag race event. He would stop by to pick her up, but would always ask for my permission. Then again, the dude became one of my best friends back then. There ought to be some respect in your relationship, knowing what is right and wrong between the two of you. It seems like your girl has other agendas or is keeping her options open. Every woman loves a real man. You should NOT take shit from this kind of situation, even if you have to fight with her about it. Wait for a good night, when she's not on PMS, sit down with her and talk about it like a gentleman. If she disagrees or flips out, you know she thinks HER GUY FRIEND > YOU. That's when you drive her to the curb and boot her ass out.

A funny thing happened to a friend of mine that I want to share which would make a COLD HEARTED way to break up with someone.

My friend was up at a ski resort where they met a guy and a girl (mid 30's) who they met for the first time. Next morning she sees him and tells him that her "guy friend" left her there last night after a fight. Apparently, he drove and paid for her to come up skiing and she was acting like a whore and hitting on other guys (my friend included apparently) and wouldn't put out so he left pissed WITH her cell phone. So she asked him if he wouldn't mind driving her home (they both lived in San Diego). He's a nice guy so he and my other friend take her along. It's pretty obvious that she was totally using the guy and the guy was an idiot for taking her up there. She turns out to be total trash. She gives them like $10 for gas when it costs like $50 and tells them that if they need anything, to give her a call (bj?).

Male or female it shouldn't matter. The minute one of her male friends(emergency dick in a glass case) says anything about you, she should be on there ass defending you and telling them to shut the fuck up. But she doesn't so what does that tell you. She respects you even less and thinks your a punk ass bitch. A bitch needs to know you will lay the smack down on Jesus himself if you feel your being disrespected. If not, she'll walk all over you.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was the girl i just broke up with!!!!!!!

Sorry to be cynical, but she's probably cheating on you. Especially if it's long-distance

NOT true... I am 100% devoted and in love with my husband (who was previously my boyfriend) and ALL of my good friends are male. Now, my guy friends all like Scott so I don't ever have loyalty issues between them, but I call them, we hang out all the time, and we would probably occasionally hang out solo (meaning without Scott) even if he didn't live 3000 miles away right now.

It all depends on the girl and her situation. While I agree with everything else you've said in this thread, I have to disagree with the statement of yours that I quoted. "No girl" is way too much of a generalization.

And before anyone asks... my good guy friends have never once tried to hit on me, seduce me, take advantage of me (even when I'm plastered out of my mind and probably hitting on them because I'm too drunk to know any better), or convince me to leave Scott, even after I have spent hours regaling them with tales of how horrible he is. So... none of them qualifies as my "emergency dick in glass case."

^ boy, what happened between your 2 posts? I had to read that one 4 times to get your friend, him, his frined, etc., Shit was mad confusing knee grow.

that's cuz all of your friends are friends with your husband (then BF/fiance). In JJ's case, his not friends with neither of them and that brings the issue to be a total different topic.

True, but I don't think any woman should be getting plastered in the presence of her guy friends; why create the temptation?

Girls don't think like guys...logically
But for real if your hitting on your guy friends when your drunk thats a bit odd. I couldn't see myself hitting on someone when I am drunk unless subconciously I want them or secretly want them, but hey thats just my

Yes, I do have some female friends that I have no intentions of trying to get with (who are attractive) but it's quite different, as someone mentioned. When I say "fielding calls" I mean with interest sexually or as a potential sex partner. No girl will be taking calls and hanging out with guys WHO ARE INTERESTED IN TAPPING IT LIKE A KEG, if she is interested in the main guy.