Woman Drama!!!!
08-25-2009, 12:12 PM
#1
Woman Drama!!!!
So last nite i was checking my email and i get an update on my facebook page so i click the link to see whats going on and one of my notification was for my so called girlfriends page, where she states that she is having a midlife crisis (she is only 28). Anyways wanting to be the caring boyfriend or atleast curious to what is going on. I try to talk to her about it. She than tells me she is not happy here in hawaii and that she wants to travel and or just do things that her friends and family do like just be able pick up and do long family road trips and just have the freedom to travel. I understand that she grew up in Minnesota and had that freedom but to do that in hawaii requires alot of planning and saving to fly of this rock in the middle of the ocean. Also prior to us getting into our relationship i made it clear that i cant leave hawaii since i have a huge responsibility which is to take care of my son. So after 3 hours of talking and getting no where i kinda start to get frustrated with the whole situation. I became apparent that if i cant make you happy than we shouldnt be doing this, but she keeps insisting that its not me. But yet she cant point out what is making her so unhappy. So i tell to just let it go and maybe things will change. I go to sleep hoping to wake up to a new day, but to my surprise it bugs her first thing in the morning. As i arrive to work i receive a text message i look at the text and it says, He just has no respect for me at all. He keeps telling me I am unhappy and it is not about that. And i would never tell him he is an unhappy person. So i text her back that you just text the wrong person but now i know how you feel that makes things alot easier for me. So after about 20 text messages and pissed off as hell i tell her im done with you. So now my work day has just started and i am in for 8 hours of hell. I got alot of my shit at her house that i need to pickup and i told here i will swing by to pick it up. So now 4 years of my life and my sons life who we both thought this woman was going to be in for the rest of our lives is now gone. Sorry 
over
Cliffnotes: Got email from facebook
:email reveals g/f is unhappy
:talk to g/f about unhappiness
:unhappiness leads to breaking up
overCliffnotes: Got email from facebook
:email reveals g/f is unhappy
:talk to g/f about unhappiness
:unhappiness leads to breaking up
08-25-2009, 12:25 PM
#2
Safety Car
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Avoid the relationship 5 days prior to the 5 days per month of uncontrollable moodiness. The P in PMS stands for pre-, present-, and post-. No matter who you find in life there will always be drama to deal with. It is easier to make yourself happy than to make someone else happy. Sorry for your relationship issues you are having to endure. Focus on your son, family will always come first.
08-25-2009, 12:32 PM
#4
Avoid the relationship 5 days prior to the 5 days per month of uncontrollable moodiness. The P in PMS stands for pre-, present-, and post-. No matter who you find in life there will always be drama to deal with. It is easier to make yourself happy than to make someone else happy. Sorry for your relationship issues you are having to endure. Focus on your son, family will always come first.
08-25-2009, 12:46 PM
#6
Team Owner
Thing is she is on the pill so pms is so unpredictable. I try to keep track of it and steer clear of that. But my son has always been my focus and she gets jealous and upset when i cater to him and neglect her but it is not on purpose, i guess that should of been the first sign.
08-25-2009, 01:08 PM
#7
If she's getting jealous about catering to your son then she might not be good long term material. This might be why she's acting how she is. It sounds like a call for attention considering she's posting on FB instead of going to you directly. Personally, if I was with someone that didn't understand that I'm choosing my children over her, I wouldn't keep her around.
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08-25-2009, 01:27 PM
#8
4 years is not easy to get over. I'm sorry to hear about things going this way. Unfortunately we don't have control of other people. From what you're saying, it sounds like she is not what you are probably looking for at this point.
Funny thing...most people would probably dream of moving to Hawaii. Maybe the grass is always greener no matter where you live. In which case you shouldn't move to begin with!
Good luck man...
Funny thing...most people would probably dream of moving to Hawaii. Maybe the grass is always greener no matter where you live. In which case you shouldn't move to begin with!
Good luck man...
08-25-2009, 01:33 PM
#9
I admit that living in hawaii is hard. Cost of living is expensive and you are totally isolated from the rest of the world. But the beauty of the islands and the people here are so caring that it makes it all worth it. I dont know maybe i havent experienced the traveling lifestyle to appreciate the fact that you can just do road trips on the weekend. I guess its hard when all your family is on the east coast and your on the west coast but i feel that you make the best of every situation whether it is good or bad. Idk.
08-25-2009, 01:37 PM
#10
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
I assume this didnt just pop up, there are probably other problems/fights/or issues that led up to this...
If so, 4 years or not, move on its all down hill from here. She will hate you for not letting her go or be pissed that you didnt fight to keep her.
You both are to young for this kind of drama, give her time to see how green the grass really is on the other side and if she comes back, great, if not then you saved yourself a lot of stress.
FYI my answer would be different if you had the son together.
At 27, you have a lot of living left in you.
If so, 4 years or not, move on its all down hill from here. She will hate you for not letting her go or be pissed that you didnt fight to keep her.
You both are to young for this kind of drama, give her time to see how green the grass really is on the other side and if she comes back, great, if not then you saved yourself a lot of stress.
FYI my answer would be different if you had the son together.
At 27, you have a lot of living left in you.
08-25-2009, 01:41 PM
#11
Your Friendly Canadian
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I'll bet you within a week she'll come crawling back to you apologizing and begging you to take her back. Maybe it was just an argument that got out of hand. From what I've read, it doesn't seem like you're completely ready to get rid of her just yet. Talk to her and see if you guys can work something out. If she doesn't budge, kick her to the curb for good and continue to devote yourself to your son. My 
BTW as for her "accidentally" sending you the text...do your name and her best friend's name start with the same letter or are close to each other on her contacts list? If not, she might have sent it to you on purpose.
BTW as for her "accidentally" sending you the text...do your name and her best friend's name start with the same letter or are close to each other on her contacts list? If not, she might have sent it to you on purpose.
08-25-2009, 01:45 PM
#12
I assume this didnt just pop up, there are probably other problems/fights/or issues that led up to this...
If so, 4 years or not, move on its all down hill from here. She will hate you for not letting her go or be pissed that you didnt fight to keep her.
You both are to young for this kind of drama, give her time to see how green the grass really is on the other side and if she comes back, great, if not then you saved yourself a lot of stress.
FYI my answer would be different if you had the son together.
At 27, you have a lot of living left in you.
If so, 4 years or not, move on its all down hill from here. She will hate you for not letting her go or be pissed that you didnt fight to keep her.
You both are to young for this kind of drama, give her time to see how green the grass really is on the other side and if she comes back, great, if not then you saved yourself a lot of stress.
FYI my answer would be different if you had the son together.
At 27, you have a lot of living left in you.
08-25-2009, 01:52 PM
#13
I'll bet you within a week she'll come crawling back to you apologizing and begging you to take her back. Maybe it was just an argument that got out of hand. From what I've read, it doesn't seem like you're completely ready to get rid of her just yet. Talk to her and see if you guys can work something out. If she doesn't budge, kick her to the curb for good and continue to devote yourself to your son. My
BTW as for her "accidentally" sending you the text...do your name and her best friend's name start with the same letter or are close to each other on her contacts list? If not, she might have sent it to you on purpose.
BTW as for her "accidentally" sending you the text...do your name and her best friend's name start with the same letter or are close to each other on her contacts list? If not, she might have sent it to you on purpose.
08-25-2009, 01:53 PM
#14
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
That's where its at brother... I had a similar situation with a GF of 4 years (no kids involved, I was 28 she was 30) and one day it hit me that I'm not marrying her and neither of us was happy.
She didnt want to admit it but knew it was true, after a month of "trying" and changing our ways I came home and started packing.
Granted it was hard to split ways after so long, both emotionally and especially since we lived together but I sucked it up and after things settled about 6 months later we went out to dinner and realized life is soooo much better.
Oh and the booty calls during the move process were a bonus.
She didnt want to admit it but knew it was true, after a month of "trying" and changing our ways I came home and started packing.
Granted it was hard to split ways after so long, both emotionally and especially since we lived together but I sucked it up and after things settled about 6 months later we went out to dinner and realized life is soooo much better.
Oh and the booty calls during the move process were a bonus.
08-25-2009, 02:08 PM
#15
That's where its at brother... I had a similar situation with a GF of 4 years (no kids involved, I was 28 she was 30) and one day it hit me that I'm not marrying her and neither of us was happy.
She didnt want to admit it but knew it was true, after a month of "trying" and changing our ways I came home and started packing.
Granted it was hard to split ways after so long, both emotionally and especially since we lived together but I sucked it up and after things settled about 6 months later we went out to dinner and realized life is soooo much better.
Oh and the booty calls during the move process were a bonus.
She didnt want to admit it but knew it was true, after a month of "trying" and changing our ways I came home and started packing.
Granted it was hard to split ways after so long, both emotionally and especially since we lived together but I sucked it up and after things settled about 6 months later we went out to dinner and realized life is soooo much better.
Oh and the booty calls during the move process were a bonus.
08-25-2009, 02:24 PM
#16
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
You hit the nail on the head... often times the child keeps families together... and this seems like its the case here.
You have the hard decision to make since you have to explain all this to him and decide if you want her to be around.
I know you love your kid and feel like you have to stay together to keep things happy but I'm sure if he isn't old enough to see it now, once he is he'll know things aren't happy and then you wasted even more time and maybe missed out on some great times as a father.
...."everything happens for a reason"....
And you know, on the flip side you may be apart for a week and get back together better than ever....
Two more quotes: (in my own words)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If you let it go and it was meant to be it will come back to you.
You have the hard decision to make since you have to explain all this to him and decide if you want her to be around.
I know you love your kid and feel like you have to stay together to keep things happy but I'm sure if he isn't old enough to see it now, once he is he'll know things aren't happy and then you wasted even more time and maybe missed out on some great times as a father.
...."everything happens for a reason"....
And you know, on the flip side you may be apart for a week and get back together better than ever....
Two more quotes: (in my own words)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If you let it go and it was meant to be it will come back to you.
08-25-2009, 02:27 PM
#17
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
As I posted that I read your sig...
Are you working to be with her, or with her because its working?
I think I just made that up...
Either way, don't mistake convenience for happiness.
Life requires Money. Money requires Work. Which one sucks more... Working to Live or Living to Work..
I think I just made that up...
Either way, don't mistake convenience for happiness.
08-25-2009, 02:29 PM
#18
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Find someone who isn't a headcase
08-25-2009, 02:59 PM
#24
So i just received a text from her stating that my airline tickets for my son and I have been canceled for a wedding we were suppose to attend together around thanksgiving time. So i have canceled the hotel and car rental arrangements on my end. This is going way beyond what we have ever taken anything before.
08-25-2009, 03:08 PM
#26
So i just received a text from her stating that my airline tickets for my son and I have been canceled for a wedding we were suppose to attend together around thanksgiving time. So i have canceled the hotel and car rental arrangements on my end. This is going way beyond what we have ever taken anything before.
Dont worry about getting back at her. Best way to do that is move the fuck on!
She sounds too drama filled and seems to be sucking you into the same category!
08-25-2009, 03:17 PM
#28
Same boat though my friend....was with someone 15 years till about two years ago....never would marry her for a polethora of reasons....one main one being half my stuff! Why would I just want to give away half my stuff?
In retrospect...who made the right decision?
I might add....I still have all my stuff. AND the Lexus I gave her to drive. Indiana does not recognize common law marriage.
08-25-2009, 03:53 PM
#29
neither does hawaii,for common law . Now i can go after all the pussy without having to wonder if i will only have the same one for the rest of my life. Must say my day is getting better knowing all the things i am able to do now 
. Now i can go after all the pussy without having to wonder if i will only have the same one for the rest of my life. Must say my day is getting better knowing all the things i am able to do now
08-25-2009, 04:25 PM
#30
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
Yeah dude don't sweat that wedding bullshit, she did you a favor by making the first strike... now that she eliminated all the doubt you probably had that there was a chance to work it out.
Just remember, dont get immature and all bent about this deal, the stress isnt worth it... Roll with it, get focused, so you and junior can move on to good times.
That includes saving face with all your friends, dont talk shit or make her out to be bad... practice "I love her, it just wasnt meant to be"
Just remember, dont get immature and all bent about this deal, the stress isnt worth it... Roll with it, get focused, so you and junior can move on to good times.
That includes saving face with all your friends, dont talk shit or make her out to be bad... practice "I love her, it just wasnt meant to be"
08-25-2009, 04:29 PM
#31
Suzuka Master
iTrader: (1)
and then hang out with her hot friends out so they can tell her how fantastic you are... When I left my ex, I started to hang out with her girls and they called me their "wing man"... meaning I hung out like the BF with all the benefits none of the stress. 
08-25-2009, 05:50 PM
#33
Suzuka Master
F-ck brah sorry to hear about the drama. I had a mainland GF too, from NYC, and we were always beefing about whether we eventually would live in Hawaii. It ended up not working out, which actually was for the best. I cannot tolerate drama in a relationship
, I'm way too tired from work to argue when I go home.
, I'm way too tired from work to argue when I go home.
08-25-2009, 05:56 PM
#34
F-ck brah sorry to hear about the drama. I had a mainland GF too, from NYC, and we were always beefing about whether we eventually would live in Hawaii. It ended up not working out, which actually was for the best. I cannot tolerate drama in a relationship, I'm way too tired from work to argue when I go home.
, I'm way too tired from work to argue when I go home.
08-26-2009, 09:02 AM
#35
boost 3G
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you seem to be better off without her..same goes for your son..now you can spend more time with him without having to cater to her needs! your young still and theres plenty of fish in the sea! doesnt seem like your sweating it too much! and not having to answer to anyone is always a good thing see that your 27 and have your own career you dont need to be answerin to anyone anyways!
08-26-2009, 11:57 PM
#36
hates potatoville
brah, I've been through this before but I was married. Thank God for no kids with her. When I divorced her I kept it cool but she was the one passing around all the dirt which wasn't true. Turned out that a good portion of her hot friends saw the true side of her as well and came calling. I'm still friends with them to this day and often get booty calls from them. Being single again is great!!! Women see when you got it together and that you have a son too, that's a huge responsiblity and they're attracted to that as well. Stay true to your son, REAL women encourages it and have no problems. The immature girls are the ones who do have problems with it.
08-28-2009, 03:47 PM
#37
brah, I've been through this before but I was married. Thank God for no kids with her. When I divorced her I kept it cool but she was the one passing around all the dirt which wasn't true. Turned out that a good portion of her hot friends saw the true side of her as well and came calling. I'm still friends with them to this day and often get booty calls from them. Being single again is great!!! Women see when you got it together and that you have a son too, that's a huge responsiblity and they're attracted to that as well. Stay true to your son, REAL women encourages it and have no problems. The immature girls are the ones who do have problems with it.
