Why is my ex calling after 8 months?
10-08-2003, 05:14 AM
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Why is my ex calling after 8 months?
OK, let me first tell you how this girl broke my heart...
Last September my ex went back to school. Because of this we decided we needed time apart, BUT if she wanted be with anyone, she said she would be with me.
So - She started acting weird, (and I KNOW THIS IS WRONG) , so I looked in her e-mail and saw that she had written some guy and wrote how much she loved him and this and that...
Ouch...My heart ripped out
- She had her engagement ring picked out prior to going back to school and we pretty much lived together.
So, now she starts e-mailing and trying to talk to me again - and now (as you may have seen in some other posts of mine) I have been trying to move on...But, naturally I have a soft spot for her...
My problem is, I know I can't trust her right now - I mean, she was most likely cheating on me!
And I know its easy to say, F*ck that bitch, move on...But its not that simple...I cared about this girl...
So my question is - Why? Why is she calling me saying how much she misses me?
It makes my head spin thinking about it - and I just don't know what to do...Rcently, I have messed around with a couple girls - nothing serious, and Im sick and tired of wasting my time on girls that just aren't right - I know I was comfortable with my ex...So would it be so bad to try and start something back up again???
My friends would probably be pissed, and my parents would think Im a fool, because they all saw the hurt that I went through...But Im just confused...Someone set me straight!
Last September my ex went back to school. Because of this we decided we needed time apart, BUT if she wanted be with anyone, she said she would be with me.
So - She started acting weird, (and I KNOW THIS IS WRONG) , so I looked in her e-mail and saw that she had written some guy and wrote how much she loved him and this and that...
Ouch...My heart ripped out
- She had her engagement ring picked out prior to going back to school and we pretty much lived together.So, now she starts e-mailing and trying to talk to me again - and now (as you may have seen in some other posts of mine) I have been trying to move on...But, naturally I have a soft spot for her...
My problem is, I know I can't trust her right now - I mean, she was most likely cheating on me!
And I know its easy to say, F*ck that bitch, move on...But its not that simple...I cared about this girl...
So my question is - Why? Why is she calling me saying how much she misses me?
It makes my head spin thinking about it - and I just don't know what to do...Rcently, I have messed around with a couple girls - nothing serious, and Im sick and tired of wasting my time on girls that just aren't right - I know I was comfortable with my ex...So would it be so bad to try and start something back up again???
My friends would probably be pissed, and my parents would think Im a fool, because they all saw the hurt that I went through...But Im just confused...Someone set me straight!
10-08-2003, 05:37 AM
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well it's a tough situation for you b/c #1, you the know the REAL deal (i'm assuming she doesn't know you saw her e-mail) while she thinks you are clueless to the other guy, and #2, if you confront her with this info, she's gonna be pissed you snooped around.
if she's e-mailing you now, it could mean this other guy backed out or isn't around...there could be many reasons why she's doing this now
i'm a firm believer in communication...i'm also a believer in sorting through issues instead of being passionate and letting my feelings get the better of me...so my suggestion is to sit her down and put all the cards on the table and see what happens...depending on what she tells you and yer level of satisfaction with her being honest or not, i think yer answer will become clear..that's just how i see it
im sory you found this out...i've personally been there, so i can personally relate
if she's e-mailing you now, it could mean this other guy backed out or isn't around...there could be many reasons why she's doing this now
i'm a firm believer in communication...i'm also a believer in sorting through issues instead of being passionate and letting my feelings get the better of me...so my suggestion is to sit her down and put all the cards on the table and see what happens...depending on what she tells you and yer level of satisfaction with her being honest or not, i think yer answer will become clear..that's just how i see it
im sory you found this out...i've personally been there, so i can personally relate
10-08-2003, 06:23 AM
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You hit it on the head...you're comfortable with her.
But that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. I've been in that boat as well...too many times...
But that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. I've been in that boat as well...too many times...
10-08-2003, 06:41 AM
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If you know she kept this new guy on the DL.. What make you think that when you take her back, she won't do it again?
These kind of girls ought to be shot! (Just my opinion) I've been down that road my self as well. :thumbsdn:
These kind of girls ought to be shot! (Just my opinion) I've been down that road my self as well. :thumbsdn:
10-08-2003, 08:52 AM
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Thanks guys, and Chris your right, it was a comfort thing....I need to talk to her some more to straighten my head out...But at this point in my life - I don't think I could go through the crap I went through before
10-08-2003, 09:27 AM
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Sounds like a plan. Just remember...no drinking within 24 hours of talking with her...booze & old girlfriends can be a bad scenario. 
...another lesson from my bag of experiences...
...another lesson from my bag of experiences...
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10-08-2003, 10:08 AM
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Scooter's right...if you think feelings are still there, it'll have to be an "all the cards on the table" discussion. Yeah, it may be technically wrong for you to dig into her Email, but you know what? It's just as wrong to be lied to, and something tells me that you must have suspected something to make you want to dig there in the first place.
If you really want to get back with her, you need to take it REAL slow. Resist the urge to call her your girlfriend. You are just "dating" and that's it for now. SHE will have to be the one to prove to you that she's being upfront and honest and she needs to know that this time, the ball is in YOUR court and SHE is the one who will definitely have to do the work to win you back. You may have to think up some kind of check and balance system to confirm her honesty. Since you were engaged or close to it, a discussion in front of her folks may even be in order (depending on your relationship with them). She needs to know that everyone is watching this time.
I've been there (although it's been awhile) and while keeping your distance is a difficult thing to do with someone you have feelings for, in the long run you'll be glad you did. She'll have more respect for you too. Sometimes a decent size set of balls is just the thing tho straighten a girl (or guy) out. Good luck.
If you really want to get back with her, you need to take it REAL slow. Resist the urge to call her your girlfriend. You are just "dating" and that's it for now. SHE will have to be the one to prove to you that she's being upfront and honest and she needs to know that this time, the ball is in YOUR court and SHE is the one who will definitely have to do the work to win you back. You may have to think up some kind of check and balance system to confirm her honesty. Since you were engaged or close to it, a discussion in front of her folks may even be in order (depending on your relationship with them). She needs to know that everyone is watching this time.
I've been there (although it's been awhile) and while keeping your distance is a difficult thing to do with someone you have feelings for, in the long run you'll be glad you did. She'll have more respect for you too. Sometimes a decent size set of balls is just the thing tho straighten a girl (or guy) out. Good luck.
10-08-2003, 10:08 AM
#9
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im sorry to say it, but she cheated on you once, shell do it again.
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
10-08-2003, 10:17 AM
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Originally posted by SilviaGTO
im sorry to say it, but she cheated on you once, shell do it again.
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
im sorry to say it, but she cheated on you once, shell do it again.
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
Just my
10-08-2003, 10:26 AM
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Originally posted by SilviaGTO
im sorry to say it, but she cheated on you once, shell do it again.
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
im sorry to say it, but she cheated on you once, shell do it again.
dont ever do anything for comfort. she had no respect for your feelings or who you were.
shes probably just calling now because she single right now. sorry to say but thats probably how it is
Yes, some people will cheat & cheat again...BUT...
Maturity is another matter...sometimes just growing up & realizing what you want out of life is what settles people down. And yes, than can happen in as little as 8 months time...all depends on her maturity level, etc.
10-08-2003, 10:49 AM
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Originally posted by SilviaGTO
so what happens when she thinks she sees the greener grass again?
sorry people who betray my trust dont get a second chance.
so what happens when she thinks she sees the greener grass again?
sorry people who betray my trust dont get a second chance.
10-08-2003, 10:51 AM
#14
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i feel for you bro. i'm in a similar situation, except mine doesn't want me back - i just thought she did 
but if i had the chance i would consider it, but not worth that amount of pain again just to be "comfortable" -- everything happens for a reason - learn as much as you can from the experience and move on. Comfortable is highly overrated - you'll find someone better bro
but if i had the chance i would consider it, but not worth that amount of pain again just to be "comfortable" -- everything happens for a reason - learn as much as you can from the experience and move on. Comfortable is highly overrated - you'll find someone better bro
10-08-2003, 11:27 AM
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Originally posted by SilviaGTO
sorry people who betray my trust dont get a second chance.
sorry people who betray my trust dont get a second chance.
in addition, i think that's a very open-to-interpretation statement b/c there's a huge spectrum of situations where people can betray yer trust, some serious, some trivial
just my opinion
10-08-2003, 11:30 AM
#16
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it is extremist.
i did the whole "second chance" thing with people who betrayed me or hurt me. and they did it again.
so that makes me the stupid one. So I dont give them the second chance.
i did the whole "second chance" thing with people who betrayed me or hurt me. and they did it again.
so that makes me the stupid one. So I dont give them the second chance.
10-08-2003, 11:31 AM
#17
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but on the other hand i never tell anyone anything that i deem important enough that i have to put a big trust in anyone now.
semi-imporant stuff maybe. if they betray that i normally dont give second chances.
semi-imporant stuff maybe. if they betray that i normally dont give second chances.
10-08-2003, 11:40 AM
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so yer gonna penalize the whole male race b/c you were hurt more than once by the same person??? what don't kill you make you stronger, right???
and yer not stupid for giving people second chances...yer brave for putting yerself in a vulnerable position time after time...so why stop now?
and yer not stupid for giving people second chances...yer brave for putting yerself in a vulnerable position time after time...so why stop now?
10-08-2003, 12:40 PM
#19
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cause i already got my man. 3 years and he hasnt betrayed my trust once. im not talking about the male race, im talking about anyone.
hey i give everyone a chance. if you blow it sorry. my life is too short to waste on people who want to hurt me.
hey i give everyone a chance. if you blow it sorry. my life is too short to waste on people who want to hurt me.
10-08-2003, 04:08 PM
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Originally posted by SilviaGTO
cause i already got my man. 3 years and he hasnt betrayed my trust once.
cause i already got my man. 3 years and he hasnt betrayed my trust once.
Did I tell you I saw him at the strip club the second Tuesday of last week?
MC222
I agree, but...I do see everyone else's point too....Ugghhh! Time to chill and just take it realllll slow before I make any decision!
10-08-2003, 05:06 PM
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Originally posted by YuppieCL
my dad would kick me in the nuts if he found out i was seeing my ex again. u may forgive and forget, but to ur parents, she'll always be a cunt
my dad would kick me in the nuts if he found out i was seeing my ex again. u may forgive and forget, but to ur parents, she'll always be a cunt
and sometimes, though i hate to say it, parents know best.
10-08-2003, 06:19 PM
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Originally posted by Python2121
and sometimes, though i hate to say it, parents know best.
and sometimes, though i hate to say it, parents know best.
remember my drunk escapade this weekend at the wedding?
http://www.acura-cl.com/forums/showt...fool+of+myself
i had a talk w my dad and he was more mad at the fact i was drinking because my ex left me than me making a fool of myself.
10-09-2003, 03:50 AM
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Originally posted by YuppieCL
i had a talk w my dad and he was more mad at the fact i was drinking because my ex left me than me making a fool of myself.
i had a talk w my dad and he was more mad at the fact i was drinking because my ex left me than me making a fool of myself.
10-09-2003, 07:18 AM
#28
Dude,
if you take her back, 8 months later she will be calling the other dude she was fucking behind your back.
A leopard can't change its spots or some shit like that.....
if you take her back, 8 months later she will be calling the other dude she was fucking behind your back.
A leopard can't change its spots or some shit like that.....
10-10-2003, 10:42 AM
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Update - I pussied out and returned her call...We talked, but she didn't really excite me...I will see her this weekend....Believe me here - I am gonna use this situation to my advantage...
I'm taking dbox's advice
I'm taking dbox's advice
10-10-2003, 10:45 AM
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Originally posted by mc222
Update - I pussied out and returned her call...We talked, but she didn't really excite me...I will see her this weekend....Believe me here - I am gonna use this situation to my advantage...
I'm taking dbox's advice
Update - I pussied out and returned her call...We talked, but she didn't really excite me...I will see her this weekend....Believe me here - I am gonna use this situation to my advantage...
I'm taking dbox's advice
10-10-2003, 11:18 AM
#38
Blackbird baby..
Originally posted by mc222
Update - I pussied out and returned her call...We talked, but she didn't really excite me...I will see her this weekend....Believe me here - I am gonna use this situation to my advantage...
I'm taking dbox's advice
Update - I pussied out and returned her call...We talked, but she didn't really excite me...I will see her this weekend....Believe me here - I am gonna use this situation to my advantage...
I'm taking dbox's advice
10-10-2003, 11:54 AM
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Waiting for the update...
Gonna buy a donut Monday morning with the coffee & read the exciting story. Don't let me down man...
Oh yeah...definitely take Dbox's advice...
Gonna buy a donut Monday morning with the coffee & read the exciting story. Don't let me down man...
Oh yeah...definitely take Dbox's advice...
10-10-2003, 06:54 PM
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fuck her man...you dont need that stress in your life. She fucked you over once and you can bet your ass it will happen again. Dont even put yourself in that sitation. Like others have said in this thread, that other guy(s) probably didnt work out so she's running back to you.