when is it too much...
07-27-2004, 09:28 PM
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when is it too much...
my current roomate...is also my best friend...he has been w/this chick for like 2 years now and it seems like we never hang anymore...he is ALWAYS with her....i mean i cant get him to go anywhere w/out her...ill be like hey dude wanna go shooting this weekend...oh sure...ill let .......... know...fuck...i asked to hang w/him...not him and his girl...i mean shes not horrible or anything, but if it was my choice i wouldn't go out of my way to hang with her...so do ya'll think this is normal? i mean im almost to the point im ready to give up on him....which sucks, but what the hell am i gonna do?
so is this "normal"? lets hear it ladies (the wonderful few we have) and gents...
so is this "normal"? lets hear it ladies (the wonderful few we have) and gents...
07-27-2004, 09:34 PM
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I think that a lot of people get caught up in their other when in a relationship. Just let him know that you need some alone time...damn that sounded :ghey: but seriously some people just don't notice that they are ignoring their homies. I know I'm guilty of it sometimes, but chicks usually know how it is. Let him know that a night out with the boys is in order 
07-27-2004, 09:40 PM
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My best friend's boyfriend also happens to be one of my boyfriend's best friends. (If that made sense.) My best friend is ALWAYS with her boyfriend. Every night of the week. If we go out to the bar for a girl's night out, she is on the phone with him all night, usually arguing b/c he "misses her" or something stupid like that. So, in turn, he never goes out with the guys b/c he's too caught up with his g/f. I can't stand it! People need to distance themselves!
Just flat out tell your friend that you guys are hanging out, and it's guys only. I'm sure your friend's g/f can find something else to do for a night.
Just flat out tell your friend that you guys are hanging out, and it's guys only. I'm sure your friend's g/f can find something else to do for a night.
07-27-2004, 10:39 PM
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I'd guess since you're 26 you probably have both changed a lot over the last couple of years (graduated college, gotten big kid jobs, etc.). I wouldn't assume it's all girlfriend related. You're just not in a hang out all day drinking and playing xbox kind of place anymore. One of my friends got drunk and tried to bitch out a few people one night for "getting boyfriends and ignoring her" and oddly enough, she's the one who can never do anything when we invite her someplace. This outburst came at the end of a month when we could count at least 5 things we'd invited her to do that she declined.
It sucks, but he's probably doing the best he can. I'm sure he would love to go back to pre-grown up life and have time for her, time for you, time for his family, and time for himself. But you can't please everybody all the time. And he's probably relieved that you guys don't hate each other because then he can make two people happy at once. All that being said, it's no fun for you to have an instant friend just so he can check two people off his "people to pay attention to today" list. My advice is don't hang out with them as much when she's around - go out with other friends or something. In a whole week of hanging out with both of you she probably gets about an hour of his undivided attention. Maybe if she got a whole night sometimes, she wouldn't feel like she needs to be around every minute just in case he wants to talk to her.
It sucks, but he's probably doing the best he can. I'm sure he would love to go back to pre-grown up life and have time for her, time for you, time for his family, and time for himself. But you can't please everybody all the time. And he's probably relieved that you guys don't hate each other because then he can make two people happy at once. All that being said, it's no fun for you to have an instant friend just so he can check two people off his "people to pay attention to today" list. My advice is don't hang out with them as much when she's around - go out with other friends or something. In a whole week of hanging out with both of you she probably gets about an hour of his undivided attention. Maybe if she got a whole night sometimes, she wouldn't feel like she needs to be around every minute just in case he wants to talk to her.
07-27-2004, 10:45 PM
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Originally Posted by CG2000
I'd guess since you're 26 you probably have both changed a lot over the last couple of years (graduated college, gotten big kid jobs, etc.). I wouldn't assume it's all girlfriend related. You're just not in a hang out all day drinking and playing xbox kind of place anymore. One of my friends got drunk and tried to bitch out a few people one night for "getting boyfriends and ignoring her" and oddly enough, she's the one who can never do anything when we invite her someplace. This outburst came at the end of a month when we could count at least 5 things we'd invited her to do that she declined.
It sucks, but he's probably doing the best he can. I'm sure he would love to go back to pre-grown up life and have time for her, time for you, time for his family, and time for himself. But you can't please everybody all the time. And he's probably relieved that you guys don't hate each other because then he can make two people happy at once. All that being said, it's no fun for you to have an instant friend just so he can check two people off his "people to pay attention to today" list. My advice is don't hang out with them as much when she's around - go out with other friends or something. In a whole week of hanging out with both of you she probably gets about an hour of his undivided attention. Maybe if she got a whole night sometimes, she wouldn't feel like she needs to be around every minute just in case he wants to talk to her.
It sucks, but he's probably doing the best he can. I'm sure he would love to go back to pre-grown up life and have time for her, time for you, time for his family, and time for himself. But you can't please everybody all the time. And he's probably relieved that you guys don't hate each other because then he can make two people happy at once. All that being said, it's no fun for you to have an instant friend just so he can check two people off his "people to pay attention to today" list. My advice is don't hang out with them as much when she's around - go out with other friends or something. In a whole week of hanging out with both of you she probably gets about an hour of his undivided attention. Maybe if she got a whole night sometimes, she wouldn't feel like she needs to be around every minute just in case he wants to talk to her.
07-27-2004, 10:55 PM
#7
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just let him know if he ever wants to hang out, to let you know. then go do your own thing. a good buddy of mine has been dating this girl for like 3 yrs. hangs with her 75% of the time. i let him call me if he wants to do something, cause i automatically assume he will be with her.
i suggest u do that.
i suggest u do that.
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07-27-2004, 11:20 PM
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Originally Posted by UNCTYPE-S
just let him know if he ever wants to hang out, to let you know. then go do your own thing. a good buddy of mine has been dating this girl for like 3 yrs. hangs with her 75% of the time. i let him call me if he wants to do something, cause i automatically assume he will be with her.
i suggest u do that.
i suggest u do that.
07-27-2004, 11:59 PM
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Just wait, all that being around eachother will eventually lead ot a breakup (or a husband and failed marriage) just hide and watch, he'll come around eventually.
07-28-2004, 04:23 AM
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Maybe your friend is really in love, ever occur to you?? Back in our old relationship, Dark and I were always together...Now that we are apart, we are always on the phone and when we spend time together, we are inseparable. We want our marriage to be like that. Where one goes, so does the other. We have even talked about working in the same office together 2 days a week...It's just love and blessings man. The best thing you can do is 1) find someone that you can double date with...like playing pool or something so that you guys can break away, but he is still in the same building with her or 2) like was mentioned before, let him know you are there to hang out if he wants and find something and someone else to do things with...maybe if he sees you hangin with someone new, he might realize he misses your friendship...good luck dude...
07-28-2004, 06:01 AM
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Originally Posted by 98AcuraCLpimp
ya i agree with you...i did just graduate (with a b.a., i had to boast) about 1 year ago...and i do suppose we have drifted over the past few years...i mean case in piont i love working on cars (hence my being here) and he is into other shit (his girl)...just sucks when an old homie is becoming more like an aquaintence....
It sucks that we all have to grow up and can't sit around and hang out with our friends all the time, but I think if you were ever really good friends you always will be friends. My friend that I told you about makes a point of telling me how long it's been since we talked on the phone/hung out every time I call her. Thus, I do not call her because I don't feel like feeling bad. It actually feels like I'm obligated to call her every 3 days or she'll think we're not friends anymore (even though she never calls me either). On the other hand, I have friends that I talk to just as seldomly, but it's like we never left off. We're just glad to get a weekend where we're both free and we always have a good time doing whatever. This makes me think I was probably never that close to the first friend, and that the others are my real friends.
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