Well it happened to me......( darksom )..long post sorry
02-24-2009, 01:19 PM
#41
One on the right for me
I wouldn't tell the wife. And unless I walked in on them fucking I probably wouldn't do shit to the guy either. Obviously this is between you and your wife. Leave her. If she can't even be honest and tell you she fucked him, there is nothing left at all. You're the same age as I am, get out and enjoy yourself for a few more years.
02-24-2009, 02:10 PM
#42
Instructor
Go bang his wife! 
but on the real,
to hear that. what ever you do, think and make smart moves. Take some time to clear your head and get a grip on your feelings 
but on the real,
to hear that. what ever you do, think and make smart moves. Take some time to clear your head and get a grip on your feelings
02-24-2009, 02:16 PM
#43
I drive a Subata.
iTrader: (1)
sorry to hear that......
you are very young.. just find a new one. be a cold hearted man to your soon-to-be ex wife.
you are very young.. just find a new one. be a cold hearted man to your soon-to-be ex wife.
02-24-2009, 03:30 PM
#44
I have a friend in the same situation as you. Only thing is his wife moved out while he was visiting his mom. She fucked off with nother guy and left him with 2 kids. She still lives in teh same city too. Just stay strong and let the bottle do the healing for a little while. Tell her you'll leave he anyways so she may as well be straight with you. She'll tell the truth when she thinks there is nothing to lose
02-24-2009, 03:35 PM
#46
Nom Nom Nom Nom
Best advice.
I usually stay way away from the cheating threads because it brings back the guilt that I dealt with and still deal with after I cheated on my wife and got caught.
I was about your age. Thoughtless. Was not getting the attention I was needing. Etc. Etc. It's not right. But I am only human. Anyways. I begged my wife not to leave me. I felt my world crashing in. Lonnnnng story short. My wife decided to stay with me. After 4 years, she will still bring it up. Everytime we get into a big fight, it gets thrown in my face.
I guess what I am trying to tell you, is that once that trust is gone. You will never be able to trust her. There will ALWAYS be that little person in the back of your mind bugging the shit out of you everytime she goes out without you.
My wife does not trust me as far as she can throw me. But I have a child. So that was the main reason that I wanted to try and make things work. But the older I get the more I realize the mistake I made, in both cheating and begging her to stay with me.
That is just my 2 cents. I know you love her. But you do not have kids. Which makes things 10000000000 times easier. It will be hard at first, but you will soon realize that it is not worth it.
I usually stay way away from the cheating threads because it brings back the guilt that I dealt with and still deal with after I cheated on my wife and got caught.
I was about your age. Thoughtless. Was not getting the attention I was needing. Etc. Etc. It's not right. But I am only human. Anyways. I begged my wife not to leave me. I felt my world crashing in. Lonnnnng story short. My wife decided to stay with me. After 4 years, she will still bring it up. Everytime we get into a big fight, it gets thrown in my face.
I guess what I am trying to tell you, is that once that trust is gone. You will never be able to trust her. There will ALWAYS be that little person in the back of your mind bugging the shit out of you everytime she goes out without you.
My wife does not trust me as far as she can throw me. But I have a child. So that was the main reason that I wanted to try and make things work. But the older I get the more I realize the mistake I made, in both cheating and begging her to stay with me.
That is just my 2 cents. I know you love her. But you do not have kids. Which makes things 10000000000 times easier. It will be hard at first, but you will soon realize that it is not worth it.
02-24-2009, 03:43 PM
#47
dumber than a box of hair
Well after big debate about 1 month ago with an aziner here darksom1....
it happened to me. I caught my wife fuckin around on me...after i told him i picked the right now so on and so forth.....fucking feel like a idiot......heres the story
Last night i was looking over my cell phone bill. I noticed that the past few months i've been paying more than usual. So i'm scrolling down and i see this number under my wifes phone about a million times.....hmmmmm don't really think to much of it at the time...But it still struck me as really odd..
Today: i'm uploading pics to my computer and when i open my picture app, 5 pictures pop up with the others. I noticed its my wife, NUDE!?? Well i know what my wife's fetures look like and i'm not a fucking retard...so i put 2 and 2 together and what do i get? a guy named john...i call the number and ask who the fuck are you? i'm john....ok thanks...
So i call my wife and tell her what i've found out...after denying it for a little bit she says...hes just a friend...BS...then why are you calling him xxxxxxxxx times a day and texting xxxxxxxxx times a day...what about the pics....ok yes i took em but never sent em...dos'nt fucking matter anymore, because you took them for him not me...ya dig?
So i have no idea what to fucking do....i'm so pissed i just want to break someones fucking jaw...she told me he's married as well...see has not admitted to having sex with him, but i'm going to get it out of her tonight...He's married as well, and knows that my wife is married...fucked up..
My wife works at a hotel, and hes a reg. customer. He lives in CT...Hes here alot..It don't know what to do guys...i'm so tore up right now with all kinds of different emotions...i want to kill him, at the same time its her fault..but its his fault too right? All i know is that his wife WILLL be getting a call from me if i feel like doing so...i guess its better to know now then 10 years from nbow...i guess she just saved me 10 years of my life.....i think johns wife is owed the same respect.....sorry for the long post i could keep going on but i'm just going to stop it here....thanks for listening.
it happened to me. I caught my wife fuckin around on me...after i told him i picked the right now so on and so forth.....fucking feel like a idiot......heres the story
Last night i was looking over my cell phone bill. I noticed that the past few months i've been paying more than usual. So i'm scrolling down and i see this number under my wifes phone about a million times.....hmmmmm don't really think to much of it at the time...But it still struck me as really odd..
Today: i'm uploading pics to my computer and when i open my picture app, 5 pictures pop up with the others. I noticed its my wife, NUDE!?? Well i know what my wife's fetures look like and i'm not a fucking retard...so i put 2 and 2 together and what do i get? a guy named john...i call the number and ask who the fuck are you? i'm john....ok thanks...
So i call my wife and tell her what i've found out...after denying it for a little bit she says...hes just a friend...BS...then why are you calling him xxxxxxxxx times a day and texting xxxxxxxxx times a day...what about the pics....ok yes i took em but never sent em...dos'nt fucking matter anymore, because you took them for him not me...ya dig?
So i have no idea what to fucking do....i'm so pissed i just want to break someones fucking jaw...she told me he's married as well...see has not admitted to having sex with him, but i'm going to get it out of her tonight...He's married as well, and knows that my wife is married...fucked up..
My wife works at a hotel, and hes a reg. customer. He lives in CT...Hes here alot..It don't know what to do guys...i'm so tore up right now with all kinds of different emotions...i want to kill him, at the same time its her fault..but its his fault too right? All i know is that his wife WILLL be getting a call from me if i feel like doing so...i guess its better to know now then 10 years from nbow...i guess she just saved me 10 years of my life.....i think johns wife is owed the same respect.....sorry for the long post i could keep going on but i'm just going to stop it here....thanks for listening.
As others have posted: Only you know what's right for you, and this is something you will have to consider. Can you continue to live with her, knowing what she did (and even if she didn't have sex with him, it's obvious that it was headed in that direction, and that she's been unfaithful in every way except sexually)? The old cliché is "once a cheater, always a cheater," but that doesn't preclude this being enough of a scare for her that she never does it again. I know couples who have gone through therapy, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...but if you go that route, you have to be prepared to be completely 100% open about everything you're feeling, and she has to do the same thing.
It sounds from what she said to you that you caught her and she knows it. Now, you have to decide if you can live with what has happened, if you can forgive her, and if both of you can start fresh and put this behind you. If there's the least little possibility that this will gnaw at you forever, then you need to leave her, because it will be like acid eating away at your marriage and neither of you deserve that. You will inevitably drag it out and fling it in her face every time you two argue UNLESS you are certain you can put it behind you.
Do NOT involve his wife in any of this. The fact that your wife hurt you this badly is no reason to inflict the same pain on his wife. If she's smart, she'll figure it out anyhow, because unless she's deaf, dumb and blind, there are all kinds of telltale signs that someone is cheating. You found only some of them.
02-24-2009, 03:44 PM
#48
Burning Brakes
I can definitely relate to what you are going through and it’s not easy when someone has betrayed your love and trust. My wife (now ex) did the same thing to me. I found out she had constantly been emailing and calling this guy she met at a conference. I found out about the emails and phone calls. She swore that nothing was happening and that they were working on an article for publication. I really wanted to believe her, so I accepted her explanation but still didn’t completely trust her. I looked for more evidence to either prove she was telling the truth or not. I found a couple of emails that confirmed my suspicion that she was indeed sleeping with the guy.
I would have to agree with the earlier poster in that the nude pictures of your wife were probably taken after they had already had sex and she was sending him a little reminder of her. With so many phone calls something was going on between them. In time you may forgive your wife but the trust factor will never be the same. You will always have that suspicion any time you can’t account for her time. Once I found out about the lying and the affair, it was all over with for me. The lying was just as bad as the affair. With having no children and as young as you are, it would make for an uncluttered break if that’s what you decide. For me, once the trust is broken, the relationship is over. No amount of counseling will give that trust back.
I would have to agree with the earlier poster in that the nude pictures of your wife were probably taken after they had already had sex and she was sending him a little reminder of her. With so many phone calls something was going on between them. In time you may forgive your wife but the trust factor will never be the same. You will always have that suspicion any time you can’t account for her time. Once I found out about the lying and the affair, it was all over with for me. The lying was just as bad as the affair. With having no children and as young as you are, it would make for an uncluttered break if that’s what you decide. For me, once the trust is broken, the relationship is over. No amount of counseling will give that trust back.
02-24-2009, 04:04 PM
#50
Evil Mazda Driver
Damn, man. I'm sorry to hear about this. I agree it's best to wait and deal with this rationally and with a level head than let raw emotion take you for a ride. Personally, I would leave her but that's just me.
Is it too soon for me to try to make you feel better with humor?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjNY4o_i5RY
Is it too soon for me to try to make you feel better with humor?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjNY4o_i5RY
02-24-2009, 07:24 PM
#51
Suzuka Master
1st off, I did not have all the patience to read through so many replies.
Here is my take, for what little it is worth. The worth of therapy depends on the person. It may help you, it may not.
If you both want to give it another shot, then she has to quit the job and sever the link. You cannot trust that this idiot John will stay at another hotel. Is he married? Maybe his wife needs to know.
Second. She needs to understand that the trust has been broken. It takes at least 2 years to rebuild the trust. But on your part, if you 2 are to try again, you need to not look back and heal too. You cannot keep the cheating with you into the future if your wife works hard to gain your trust back. Not easy to do but you either are going to forgive or move on.
Here is my take, for what little it is worth. The worth of therapy depends on the person. It may help you, it may not.
If you both want to give it another shot, then she has to quit the job and sever the link. You cannot trust that this idiot John will stay at another hotel. Is he married? Maybe his wife needs to know.
Second. She needs to understand that the trust has been broken. It takes at least 2 years to rebuild the trust. But on your part, if you 2 are to try again, you need to not look back and heal too. You cannot keep the cheating with you into the future if your wife works hard to gain your trust back. Not easy to do but you either are going to forgive or move on.
02-24-2009, 10:24 PM
#52
an asshole from florida
the only reason i feel like you should tell the dudes wife is because if he does this with anotherr woman and comes home with hiv or some shit, well there goes her life too.
02-25-2009, 01:02 AM
#53
I Drive Like A Dick 8≈
I agree I think that she needs to know because of the pain and suffering that she may endure if she finds out that he is doing this with someone else in however many years and only god knows what he could bring home with him. Personally yes it will ruin her life but only for the time being you may end up saving her from a lifetime in hell by telling her now
02-25-2009, 08:50 AM
#54
Suzuka Master
sounds good bro...i'll keep you posted...i've been talking to her tonite....i'm so confused...shes like blah blah i never slept with him so on and so forth...but im just so confused..i would love to come up there and get some azners and beat his fucking ass in...but i don;t want to go to jail...sorry for the typing....half a bottle of vodka...
Even if she is telling the truth that she has never slept with him nor sent those nude pictures, in my book, she is already cheating because she is establishing a relationship through constant communication. I don't blame you if you can't trust her anymore, especially since the guy is a regular customer of the hotel where she works.
Fortunately, you don't have any children together so it's easier to split if you decide to do so. In any case, I think going through marriage counseling is a good idea as it will help you make a informed decision on what direction to take.
02-25-2009, 08:54 AM
#55
Suzuka Master
I wouldn't tell the wife. And unless I walked in on them fucking I probably wouldn't do shit to the guy either. Obviously this is between you and your wife. Leave her. If she can't even be honest and tell you she fucked him, there is nothing left at all. You're the same age as I am, get out and enjoy yourself for a few more years.
02-25-2009, 09:03 AM
#56
I think that guy's wife should know too. I'm not sure that I would tell her if I was the OP, but at the same time, she ought to know. Furthermore, to the OP, I don't know if I'd try to keep my own marriage as she doesn't seem to be completely honest with you until you confront her with proof. In the back of your mind, you'll probably always wonder what's she doing now that you have to find proof of before she'll admit to it. I feel for ya, but its not insurmountable.
02-25-2009, 10:56 AM
#58
What Would Don Draper Do?
in my opinion, the wife needs to know. ideally she should hear it from her husband.
i'd rather get in touch with the other guy and tell him to tell his wife or you will.
i'd rather get in touch with the other guy and tell him to tell his wife or you will.
02-25-2009, 01:45 PM
#62
ALi G in the House!
man if i was you this is what i would do..(then again i'm a mean, ruthless bastard, so take that into account)
i'd get all the divorce papers worked out before anything. (I hope you had a prenup, if not, your fault, but you'll learn for the next time)
you know what time she gets home, so plan accordingly
take some rose peddles and put them on the floor from the door of your house to the kitchen where you put the divorce papers, then put another trail form the kitchen to the bedroom..
now the next part timing is key. you need to know what time shes gunna be home, so you make sure you have two beautiful girls going buck wild on your ass as she enters the house..just make sure the door to the bedroom is closed so she can't hear you going at it before she actually walks in the room..
when she walks in and is in awe as to what the fuck is going on, just tell her you wanted to give her the courtasy of not lieing to her or going behind her back, and that you hope she got your divorce papers..then i'd instruct her to leave so i could go back to enjoying the two girls..
that way you accomplish two things..you feel better, and she gets the fuck outta your life. Cuz with what she did, she's going to try her best to make it up to you, and i wouldn't accept that for shit..cheat on me, or do something that i would consider cheating, then get the fuck out, there are way too many girls out there to replace her, love or not..
i'd get all the divorce papers worked out before anything. (I hope you had a prenup, if not, your fault, but you'll learn for the next time)
you know what time she gets home, so plan accordingly
take some rose peddles and put them on the floor from the door of your house to the kitchen where you put the divorce papers, then put another trail form the kitchen to the bedroom..
now the next part timing is key. you need to know what time shes gunna be home, so you make sure you have two beautiful girls going buck wild on your ass as she enters the house..just make sure the door to the bedroom is closed so she can't hear you going at it before she actually walks in the room..
when she walks in and is in awe as to what the fuck is going on, just tell her you wanted to give her the courtasy of not lieing to her or going behind her back, and that you hope she got your divorce papers..then i'd instruct her to leave so i could go back to enjoying the two girls..
that way you accomplish two things..you feel better, and she gets the fuck outta your life. Cuz with what she did, she's going to try her best to make it up to you, and i wouldn't accept that for shit..cheat on me, or do something that i would consider cheating, then get the fuck out, there are way too many girls out there to replace her, love or not..
02-25-2009, 06:11 PM
#66
guys who take back cheating whores are pussies. anyone who can forgive a woman for taking another cock in their hole(holes) is truely insane and weak. there are way too many fish in the sea to have to deal with another man using your wife/woman as a cum dumpster.
02-26-2009, 08:11 AM
#69
My Garage
Anger is a natural reaction and an understandable one, but telling the wife will not take the anger away and will not help you become more distant from the situation. Retribution should be sought, but in the proper fashion and the most important thing is to not seek that retribution in the heat of passion.
02-26-2009, 10:10 AM
#70
on to the next one...
...I can't disagree with him on this one though. I can't believe I just said that.
02-26-2009, 04:03 PM
#71
hates the winter
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I'm sorry to hear that man. I can only imagine the pain you are in. I'm so bad with this kind of shit becuse I'd end up in jail. So get all of your facts straight and get the info to his wife. Not for nothing I'd probably try to screw her to make myself feel better, and get a little revenge at the same time.
She works at a hotel, and he stays there. It's pretty common knowledge of what's been going on. I wouldn't believe a word she says. She is no way going to admit to it. I would file for divorce and find someone faithful. Good luck.
She works at a hotel, and he stays there. It's pretty common knowledge of what's been going on. I wouldn't believe a word she says. She is no way going to admit to it. I would file for divorce and find someone faithful. Good luck.
02-26-2009, 04:38 PM
#72
GEEZER
I think part of the healing process for you would be to share those nudes of the wife with us.
+1 on the nudes
02-26-2009, 10:01 PM
#77
2013 RL or bust
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NUDE PICS?! OH. HELL! NO.
First off, I feel your pain. And this kind of situation really makes you feel all sorts of emotion, like you said, which isn't the best thing for a guy. And secondly, if there's any part of you that wants to still make the relationship work with her, well, then she better be the best goddamn girlfriend/wife in the whole entire world for a long, long time. If it were me, as I'm the close to the same age, I would make a judgement call and it's a case by case basis, but I'd need to leave her. I'd personally be overwhelmed by too much anger and hurt to still be in the same room as her.
And whether or not the other guys life is your business or not, like some other members have kinda said, well he made his life your business now. If he thinks he's gonna ruin your fuckin happy life and get away with it, no, eh-eh, get in touch with his wife and fuck up his shit like he did yours.
Now, obivously your wife is just as much at fault as he, but that doesn't mean he goes away on business, shits all over your marriage, and then just goes back to CT and his wife like nothing ever happened. EH-EH! NO FUCKIN WAY!
This story makes me wanna take a trip through this guys neighborhood next time I visit my friends in New York... Just feelin another fellow brothers pain.....
BTW, maybe consider banging the holy fucking slut out of her one last time, granted the pussy is very excellent stuff....
First off, I feel your pain. And this kind of situation really makes you feel all sorts of emotion, like you said, which isn't the best thing for a guy. And secondly, if there's any part of you that wants to still make the relationship work with her, well, then she better be the best goddamn girlfriend/wife in the whole entire world for a long, long time. If it were me, as I'm the close to the same age, I would make a judgement call and it's a case by case basis, but I'd need to leave her. I'd personally be overwhelmed by too much anger and hurt to still be in the same room as her.
And whether or not the other guys life is your business or not, like some other members have kinda said, well he made his life your business now. If he thinks he's gonna ruin your fuckin happy life and get away with it, no, eh-eh, get in touch with his wife and fuck up his shit like he did yours.
Now, obivously your wife is just as much at fault as he, but that doesn't mean he goes away on business, shits all over your marriage, and then just goes back to CT and his wife like nothing ever happened. EH-EH! NO FUCKIN WAY!
This story makes me wanna take a trip through this guys neighborhood next time I visit my friends in New York... Just feelin another fellow brothers pain.....
BTW, maybe consider banging the holy fucking slut out of her one last time, granted the pussy is very excellent stuff....
Last edited by afjock21; 02-26-2009 at 10:03 PM.
02-26-2009, 10:02 PM
#78
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No pics guys, this is serious stuff.
Best of luck to you man.
Best of luck to you man.
02-26-2009, 10:09 PM
#79
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Anger is a natural reaction and an understandable one, but telling the wife will not take the anger away and will not help you become more distant from the situation. Retribution should be sought, but in the proper fashion and the most important thing is to not seek that retribution in the heat of passion.
Fuckin hell no!He'd actually be doin a good thing for this son of a bitch's wife, by letting her know what kinda "happy" marriage she has.
02-26-2009, 10:17 PM
#80
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Hate to break the news, for any other married fellows, but women are biologically driven to promiscuity. It's just how well they handle it that can lead to a happy or unhappy ending. Women want to mix their genes with other genes that they think will make beautiful, happy children.
Guys don't have these kinds things, but are obviously horny bastards. So if the wife satisfies the guy enough he won't be lookin elsewhere really. Women give birth to kids, not guys, and women wanna do it with a guy they think will give their children the best possible chance of being beautiful and healthy.
I watch the Discovery Channel.
Guys don't have these kinds things, but are obviously horny bastards. So if the wife satisfies the guy enough he won't be lookin elsewhere really. Women give birth to kids, not guys, and women wanna do it with a guy they think will give their children the best possible chance of being beautiful and healthy.
I watch the Discovery Channel.