amisconception

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I didn't even see that!

6MTUA5

iTrader: (2)

This thread =

Trackruner228

iTrader: (1)

According to the OPs profile he has been online today. I think that he got scared away.

6MTUA5

iTrader: (2)

Scared of the truth...

darksom1

Nah, I see him lurking at the bottom of the thread most times. He chimes in every now and then with some weird responses. Like he's watching us on video surveillance or something. LOL!

kabota

i'll post some thoughts tomorrow. (Got my brembo's in today, maybe put them on after work) I gotta get up a little earlier for work.
and no i'm not scared.
Gotta go and stick it to the man.


And darksom1 we are on speaking terms. lol

kabota

barely....

BENDER08

TS_eXpeed

pass it over

BENDER08

here



wants some

Trackruner228

iTrader: (1)

Alright So this was on my home page today and I thought of this thread. Random facts about kissing.

8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...id=6&GT1=26000

Its never to late to play catch up. I understand what you want to do but its going to be hard.

dallison

would you buy something with out knowing what you are gonna buy?

kabota

Due to working a little OT today and I am behind on my reading for my college class I will be short right now.( Bring out some more popcorn, cause I'll try to answer some of the post)

Trust me I am not basing my decision on what this forum says. I have close friends that I discuss these matters with. I was posting to see what others thought about it, although I knew that a majority would not agree.

I had already made my decision. And I am not planning to kiss before marriage. Actually I talked with a close female friend about this last night and she knows some people who believe the same way.
It's not like I don't want too, I like living on the edge, I live on the edge all the time. But I stand my ground. I don't think it will be easy at all. But I will discuss it with the female that I am seeing.

About test driving the goods. I don't care. If we hit it off, and I am physically attracted to her I am just fine. I have no need to test drive since the one of I marry will be the one and only.

Thats it for tonight. Gotta get my degree.
Have a good night.

Ken1997TL

^^

You like living on the edge?

Come to my world for a month, you'll see that you're about as far as they get from the edge. I'm not even talking about sex, drugs or any of that. Thats not the edge.

RMATIC09

ive kissed plenty of girls, who are nice, great, attractive but would never consider dating them b/c our kiss just didn't "match up" ....sorry buddy you got issues whether you wanna admit it or not.

GoDucksCLSPride

You are delusional kid. It has been suggested multiple times per page that you should seek professional help. You just equated kissing before marriage to living on the edge. So much for defending your point. Instead you just further legitimized our evaluation of you. The only thing edgy about your decision is the audacity you have in thinking it's meaningful.

goose25

Kid you're close to two edges and those are religious extremism and homosexuality please keep us posted and let us know which edge you fall off of.

EuRTSX

Sorry, but you've fallen off the edge, into the homosexuality region.

moeronn

Long time no see, Ducks.

As for this thread, why is it still going? It's like water-s - weird and therefore intriguing for a while, but soon enough, you just realize it's completely retarded.

SilviaGTO

all Im going to say is.. Jesus kissed people when he greeted them, and people kissed him.

(according to that long book anyway)

darksom1

I don't like this as a religious "case"...it's tangential at best in that regard! I am more than convinced that this is a result of intimate reluctance, if not fear.

But I do like the Jesus point mentioned above. After all, isn't Christain supposed to be "Christ-like"?

SilviaGTO

its fear of intimacy based on the taboo of sexual nature created by religion.

darksom1

So are you saying the defendant, I mean Kabota, views kissing as sacrilegious? That can't be possible because there is no covenant in the Bible outlawing kissing or recognizing it as a violation. Like you said, even Jesus kissed...albeit for a different reason. Perhaps if Kabota practices kissing in this fashion, he will catch up with the 29 his girl has on her resume (as per our esteemed colleague Trackrunner228).

TzarChasm

Not to go too far off topic, but I was wondering. For those of you who don't/didn't want to have sex before marriage, was that a rule for your spouse as well? Did a person have to be a virgin to be even considered as a mate? The reason I ask is because with people getting married later, I would think it would be very difficult to find someone later in life who hasn't had sex. Out of all the age 30+ people I know the amount of virgins is exactly 0.

2nd part of the question is how do you non-kissers feel about a potential mate who has kissed several dozen other people before you? Does it matter or is it just a choice you make and they can make other choices?

1Louder

Let's get a few things cleared up for everyone on this topic.

The Bible is not anti-sex. The Christian view of intimacy would include the cornerstone concepts of loving one woman, being faithful to that woman, and keeping yourself close in check on lusting after anyone else. There are actually parts of the Bible that actually allude to keeping a healthy sex life with your wife.

American culture (or most cultures in general) view being promiscuous as not a big deal. We have an intensly sex-driven culture. The Bible on the other hand, would promote monogomy, waiting for marriage, and fidelity.

So we need to move off this "Christianity thinks sex is bad" line of thinking. However, Biblical direction on the topic is very different than what our culture currently accepts as the norm. This is where a lot of misunderstanding happens. People who choose to keep themselves in check are not "religious freaks" - they are simply taking some fundamental Biblical guidelines and applying them in a way that makes sense to them. Unchecked lust is a powerful force - especially for men. I've never heard of a case where it was a positive thing. Most of the time it destroys relationships and marriages, not to mention the health risks.

Most Biblical direction is there not to control your life keep you from having fun. I compare much of it to the advice a parent would give a child to keep them safe. When my kids were young, I instructed them to not play in the street. They weren't old enough to understand why, but complied with my direction (and disciplined when they crossed the line). This is because I had a wisdom they did not - that a 3 year old in the street is in danger. I view much of the Biblical advice on lust in the same light.

So what if the OP is taking some Biblical context and translating it to a course of action. The Bible does not prohibit kissing, but if he want's to make that choice why should he get so much grief? I see goofy things all the time where people make life decisions I just don't get - but if it works for them, I'm not going to get all wound up about it or call them freaks.

He's not gay either. I've had gay friends. They don't lament over when in their life they will kiss a girl, they lament about whether to kiss one at all.

gypsygirl

The OP's last post brought to mind another thought entirely.

He used the term "female" twice. In a very uncomfortable way at that. Most of us don't like that terminology too much. It's perfectly fine when speaking of dog's or other animals. It's also cool when used by doctors, or maybe coroners. The military or the police use it as well.

In many other languages, there are definite grammatical differences between the familiar and the unfamiliar. In our language, and for this purpose I mean English, we sometimes use different words entirely.

The word "female" is used for strictly unfamiliar or unlike purposes.

I wonder if he views us as a vet views his animal, or a lawyer views his client?

You're way off, buddy. You won't have much trouble not getting kissed if that's the way you continue to think of us.

1killercls

I forgot how many girls I did before marriage. And I ain't talking kissing. But I am an atheist...

SilviaGTO

Really.
Well then. Id like you to go to the Catholic grade school, middle school and high school I went to and share this information with them. Because they have a bit of a different take on it than you do.

And it is a taboo subject amongst Christians. I didnt say "christians say sex is bad" But its a topic that christians dont like discussing, unless its "dont do it until youre married." Its why in this day and age, we still have teenage girls getting pregnant and going "i didnt know you could get pregnant your first time". I have heard the argument, from christians, that sex ed gives teenagers the knowledge to go have sex.

Lets also move off the "if youre not christian, youre fucking everything in sight and not faithful"
You can not believe in a god, and still know right from wrong, and keep standards for yourself. There are plenty of us in loving committed relationships. I dont need a n ancient book or a god to tell me not to cheat on my husband. I have enough respect and love for him not to hurt him.
Killer is absolutely in love with his wife, and we know his feelings on religion.

All this aside, it may be his decision, and yeah I dont care. Hes free to do what he wants. I never said anything about his decision. But it definately seems to stem from a fear, or lack of knowledge, or something.
I do have a bit of an issue of him relating his decision to being christian. Theres no sin, rule, ect against kissing before marriage, so to refrain from kissing and sayings its because hes christian, eh. It rubs me the wrong way, but in the end hes not hurting anyone or anything, so let him do it.

But, all that aside...
"So what if the OP is taking some Biblical context and translating it to a course of action."
I believe there are a certain group of people that did this with the Koran too. Far fetched example, but, turning a blind eye to people interpreting their own religious views tends to be a dangerous practice.

TeknoKing

Female, female, female... does it really offend you?

So next time someone calls me a male or a human, I'm going to punch them in a face

PS Dear young lady, I'm only joking.

asianspec

iTrader: (1)

wow i guess this guy is waiting for another 5 yrs after marriage to touch her bewbs.

1Louder

I don't want to stray too far into R&P, but...

I don't want to get started about Catholics here. I'll leave it at this: Catholics add a bunch of layers of man-made rules onto the Bible commands, blur the lines between the two, then treat it all as the same thing. I went to a Catholic college BTW.

I hope I have not implied that at all. I will assert without compromise that Christians do NOT own the moral high ground and everyone else is an evil sinner. Christians have flaws and make bad decisions just like everone else. There is no "high horse" here - sorry if I led you to believe I thought there was.

Could not agree more. Lots of Christians cheat on their spouse and do things contrary to the Bible. Lots of Athiests lead moral lives even by Biblical standards.

Most people choose to live their life according to something. Some people are more successful at it than others, whatever standard they choose.

All I'll say here is that while the OP's choice is not spelled out 100% as a Biblical directive, there are other directives in play that could lead someone to this conclusion if they chose to go there. But this would very clearly be an individual choice - biblically based, not biblically commanded.

The quick analogy is if you were a smoker and your work place put out a smoking ban on company property. Some would smoke outside the gate or other places, some would just decide to quit all together. No one is forcing them to be that "extreme", but they have their own reasons and can decide what they do with their body.

SilviaGTO

agreed and agreed.

1Louder

BTW, my original reply to you was not aimed just at you - there's pages and pages of comments on the religious context here. Just had to get that off my chest - yours was just the last post that prompted me to type. :wink:

JRFlex

i found this thread a little too late...but this kid cant be serious....i mean how long can u hold a hand...

darksom1

The "no kissing" does not have broad biblical scope. Tangential at best, and only as it deals with state of mind. It is only viewed in a negative fashion according to what is in your mind and heart at that moment you are doing it.

For instance, it is not alright to kiss, if you desire it to lead to fornication. But just to kiss someone does not fit that. If he goes on a date and kisses the girl goodbye, then that is cool. Or if they are walking along, sharing a romantic moment. But if he is on the sofa, and they start kissing, with the lights dimmed, with "smashing" intentions, that is wrong because it doesn't matter if he scores or not, it is about what is in his mind (from a biblical perspective).

Kabota does not want to kiss a girl prior to marriage. But he definitely indicated that he might if he dated more. That is a CLEAR indication that he is not at ease with intimacy with a woman, for whatever reason. In time he may be, but not now. He did not say that he was not going to do it because of religious reasons.

Again, if you alter your lifestyle because of religious reasons, then you do it based on religious guidelines/theories or scriptures that support that. There must be something in the Bible relative to that to draw strength and focus from. But there isn't. And he didn't say it for that reason initially and he knows it. You guys are making it seem that's why because religion was mentioned later by someone (post #4) asking about his faith. Once religion was mentioned, then it became all about religion. As I said before, tangential at best (fornication).

1Louder

I'd agree with most of what you have here. I was mostly reacting to the posts that seem to indicate (in one form or another) that "religion made him do it". I don't belive it did, and it would seem you agree. Kabota only mentioned it in passing, and it took on a life of it's own. However folks who make these kinds of decisions often do so in a religious context (of one religion or another...). Not always of course, but more times than not I'd imagine.

I'd agree with your first two paragraphs exactly. What's on the heart matters most, whether you followed through physically or not. However, if the OP believes he won't be able to control where his mind goes, his decisoin might simply be a means to an end. Avoid the real temptation by avoiding how it starts. His comment about maybe kissing someone if he dated more could mean that if he had more expereince, he might have the skills / judgement to keep the "line" drawn where he wants it. He can have that kiss goodnight you described and it does not lead to the other thoughts or actions.

This is a suprisingly interesting thread, but I'm more or less at the point where unless I can meet the real Kabota it would be hard to say where the line is between an intimacy issue, religious issue, fear, or something else.

I look back on my dating life and it's a fond memory. Lots of good times, no regrets, nothing I'd really change. I can't really see doing it differently - more to the point, I can't really see not doing any of it. But that's me. I think in the end, the important thing is to set yourself up so when you're 40 and looking back, you don't regret anything - because you can't go back to 18 and take a do-over. If Kabota can do that, it's all good. I'd wish that for anyone.

darksom1

Yeah...you're right 1Louder. I guess, as Silvia said, he's not hurting anyone, and it is his life...who are we to say him nay? Well, she didn't say all of that...but you get the point.

Hmm...not kissing, 7 pages. Good thing this isn't about not hugging! Don't you dare say it Kabota...don't you say it!

TS_eXpeed

Well put 1Louder

I've been in the peanut gallery for most of this thread.

gypsygirl

I didn't actually say I was offended. The point was that you are obviously not someone that is close to me in any way if you use that terminology.

Maybe you missed it too.

Believe me, I'm not that thin skinned.

In English we use "woman", or "lady", or "chick" or"bimbo" or even "bitch". All these infer that we actually are familiar with the person/gender we speak of, not like the unfamiliar or textbook term "female".

There was no stupid soap box. Just knowledge of the language and how we hear it.

By the way young man, that was cute, but you could almost be my son.

EuRTSX