Corrosion

I'm sorry but I gotta say Good Luck finding a girl to date you who hasn't kissed you first. Of course she would also like to find out if you absolutely suck at kissing.

amisconception

I think you're full of shit and I don't respect your views.

You won't be happy.

TzarChasm

I'm not sure I even believe this, but just in case you are serious, here is my

I am guessing it's more of an OCD issue with you. You may not even know it, but your age is typical of the onset of mental illness. What you are doing does NOT fit into the social norm, therefore, if I were you I would be digging deeper into why you have these feelings. A therapist could be very useful.

Just be aware that by not even kissing, you are SERIOUSLY limiting your potential for finding ANY relationship. That may be ok with you, and if I were to guess, may be your goal anyway.

Dan Martin

This is probably the most insane thing I've read in weeks.

Whiskers

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Ummmm. OK. I'm going to just give you my views. I'm not saying what you think is wrong. It is a bit unrealistic.

I think that kissing and sex is one of the most important part of a relationship. Most people will agree. Being physically compatible is essential. And I also think that denying yourself those experiences until you are married is likely to lead to problems. The last thing I would need is to get married, and them find out I am not compatible. Or even worse, find out that I would like to experience those things with someone other than my wife. I felt that I experienced a lot in my single life, and I don't long for it like some people do.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

FWIW, I feel that you should talk to someone one on one. Talk to your priest. And talk to your parents. See what they say. If you plan on eventually getting married, I feel then most of them will tell you that they admire what you are thinking about doing. But more than likely, they will probably tell you some level of intimicy is good. If they don't, I would say that they are lying.

At least reading that one line, it seems like you just need to get comfortable enough. What makes life worth living are the experiences you have. Do not prevent yourself from living.

sasha

My closest cousin is a Christian minister and married someone from his church. He said they never even kissed until they got married because they wanted to remain pure and have a special honeymoon. I honestly don't fully understand their decision but it worked for them because they BOTH have the same religious beliefs.

You didn't give me the impression that you are dating someone in particular. All these inquiries are just hypothetical questions, right? And if the idea of not kissing before marriage is not due to religious beliefs nor to fear of being emotionally vulnerable, then you are just worrying over nothing. Man, just cross the bridge when you get there.

You also said that you think you feel you're violating a woman if you kiss her. Well, if a girl doesn't want to kiss you, you'll definitely know because she'll avoid it, push you away, or slap you. And if she really likes you, she'll kiss you back or she'll actually initiate the kiss. Remember, kissing is an expression of affection and does not necessarily lead to sex. True, it puts down your guard and may lead to petting and other things. But if both parties have self-control, then it does not have to end in sex.

You know what? Date a real woman first and then let us know how you feel.

Oh, and good luck!

GIBSON6594

I agree with it though

I think this kid is full of shit and is in denial

dom

+1

gr8ness97

iTrader: (5)

I dont think its a religious thing, i just think he's scared of falling in love and then getting his heart broken...


Dude, ur taking the road less traveled...because no one has ever traveled on that road before....

phipark

Sounds like someone is so revolting that a woman won't kiss him so now he makes an excuse saying that he's saving himself.

darksom1

I think the fact that he has not dated clearly makes this a social issue, more than a religious one. There is definitely fear of intimacy here. Any mention of religion is meant to mask that. At 21, by not having dated, had sex, or even kissed is putting him far behind on the social calendar in today's society.

Worth mentioning here is the fact that most of the women you run up against won't have this same problem, and will be reluctant to take on a social misfit or a rookie kisser with no confidence. Kissing is a way to channel emotion between two people. Far more intimate than intercourse. A way of establishing a connection. In other words...you won't know how to let her know how you feel in this way. But you might fall in love with the first average kisser because you have no grounds for comparison. So you need to get this important step on the social ladder if relationships are important to you. Some how, some way you missed the boat that sailed back when with "Kabota and a girl, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

You need to grow, know and learn how to communicate and express your feelings to a woman. We have evolved as a society. We don't hit them over the head with a club anymore or stone them in the town square if they cheat on us. We should, but we don't. Hahahahaha!

I think you are scared of women and don't know how to approach them. By getting the thumbs up on waiting until married from us, it would validate one of your excuses. You get none here. Be a man. Handle it, or as I said before in the last post, you will get pushed aside for the guy who does.

SakiGT

Im just wondering why all of a sudden now you decided to post this.

wndrlst

Dan Martin

Most definitely. I was laughing at what amisconception said, but my comment under it was directed to the OP.

It's crazy not to kiss before marriage. I could understand if you want to hold off kissing the chocolate starfish until you tie the knot, but abstaining from plain old kissing is just crazy.

If kissing has to wait, what are the "bases" now?
1st base - eye contact?
2nd base - talking?
3rd base - holding hands?
Home plate - the kiss?

tsxgoogs

I feel like a whore! haha not really you would have to find a girl just crazy conservative as you otherwise the relationship reach marriage. You might get through 2-3 dates and thats it then your just a friend to her.

darksom1

Nope, dating would be more like:

1st base - eye contact
2nd base - giggling
3rd base - note saying will you be my girl?
Home plate - holding hands

There is no kissing remember.

gr8ness97

iTrader: (5)

So does 99.9% of a-zine right about now

svtmike

Including miz.

darksom1

LOL @ miz saying even I kiss! Hahahaha! (you did say that right?)

I think that any woman dude approaches is going to think he is on the "dl" when he says he doesn't kiss. He might want to correct his list:

Women, before marriage:

1) No being alone with
2) No touching
3) No kissing
4) No sex

Because in his world, 1-4 they lead to each other...

Scottman111

I saw the thread title and thought it must be a typo. Just wow



To the OP: What do your friends/family think about this?

invisiblewar

I dont see much of a problem with it, i know where youre coming from and i have known people who have done this. I, personally am holding off sex til marriage. I screwed up the kissing thing but then again i dont think im THAT religious. Youll find someone who wants to hold out til marriage though, it may be a long time but youll find her.

BEETROOT

What possible benefits are there to any of this?

meaphool

I think the holding off on the physical aspect of a relationship is geared mostly towards the hopeless romantic or someone who is extremely traditional.

Do what you are comfortable doing when you are comfortable doing it.
*Not rocket science*.

If you can find a girl who believes the same as you, go ahead.

However the 1 thing worth repeating as many people on this board are alluding to:

We live in the real/modern world. Marriage is 'supposed' to be a permanent although I don't even know if that is the norm. 100 years down the road marriages could be completely abnormal.

Once you are married (I'm assuming you are against divorce), there is no turning back. What happens if you and your spouse are unhappy with the physical aspect of the relationship? Either:

1) You both accept the 'underwhelming physical activity' because in theory you have to both be married and divorce is unacceptable.

2) Once or both of you look elsewhere for what's missing in the relationship.

To me, none of these are worth aspiring for. I respect that you don't want to be a male-whore (unlike many ppl on the board haha), but you will only know what you like by trying a couple times.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

So, basically you guys are also saying that the person you end up with needs to also share this view with you? That's really shutting a lot of people out of your life because they were more open to things than you are.

Evader

The only way you'll find someone to marry you without kissing is if you sign up for mail-order bridge service

hornyleprechaun

You guys holding out until marriage.. don't you have a fucking sex drive?!? I don't see how you can wait until marriage that is unreal IMO.

cM3go

no kissing?!

dom

@ the chocolate starfish.

:ibheaskswhatachocolatestarfishis:

svtmike

I'm humming "Brown-Eyed Girl".

RMATIC09

religion , the destroyer of common sense.

SakiGT

Thats not even my problem with it.

So you find a person who meets your standards. No kissing before marriage, fine.

After you get married, its no longer an issue.

When considering someone for marriage I would think other things would be MORE important than that. Children? Finances? Common Intrests? Communication styles? So many other things are more important than the OPs concerns that assuming you find the girl of your dreams thats never made out with someone - the chances that the other things would click into place are just slim to freaking none.

1killercls

BAD NEWS:

YOU ARE GAY!

1killercls

dom

He'll end up dating and then marrying the 13 year old that goes to the same church. Have 3 kids and then divorce by 20 because they have nothing in common and don't find each other attractive.

BEETROOT

CG2PROJECT

._. I don't see a problem with OP.

Mizouse

at all the responses.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

We were all trying to be nice about it.