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Update: Divorcing - Staying as Friends

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Old 04-14-2016, 01:51 AM   #1
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Update: Divorcing - Staying as Friends

Well, the cat is out of the bag. My wife and I are heading to splitsville.

Sad and unfortunate. It's not entirely mutual, it's mostly on her end but we haven't really lived as a couple these past few years. The 'magic' is gone. You can't make someone love you.

So yeah, I haven't been on here much. I've had a lot of shit to deal with the past six months. Fortunately, it's not a hostile situation. We still talk, we care for each other. We even went to a wedding recently as a 'couple'. Weird but I guess that's what mature people do.

We've been dragging our feet on the paperwork and finances, though it's pretty cut and dry and we're not contesting money and no kids makes it fairly easy I suppose.

We have a lot of mutual friends, none of them like this or think it's a good idea but.. the support has definitely been there for us both.
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Old 04-14-2016, 02:02 AM   #2
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Damn sorry to hear.....
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Old 04-14-2016, 02:41 AM   #3
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Very sorry to hear Ken. Feel free to hit me up if you need.
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Old 04-14-2016, 07:30 AM   #4
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Just went through all that myself. Very similar situation though, it was all on her end. We have three kids, which definitely complicates things. Trust me when I say that it is a good thing when you can remain amicable. It gets brutal, and expensive, when you argue and disagree about everything.


It is said that you never truly know a person until you sit across from them in court, but I wish you good luck.


Any marriage takes work. My parents said that for years. They have lasted over 46 years, and I have no idea how. I just think they didn't give up. Its too easy today to just give up. I know I didn't want to, but it is what it is. If both aren't committed and into it, no sense in wasting your life being unhappy.
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Old 04-14-2016, 07:47 AM   #5
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sorry to hear.......
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Old 04-14-2016, 07:58 AM   #6
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Damn, Ken. I'm sorry to hear too, man.
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Old 04-14-2016, 07:59 AM   #7
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So....You are single now?????
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Old 04-14-2016, 08:04 AM   #8
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I'm sorry to hear this Ken. Have you tried counseling? Best of luck to both of you.
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:04 AM   #9
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I have wondered a couple of times over the past few months why you weren't around. Sucks this is the reason.
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:13 AM   #10
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hey mate... i'm saddened to hear that you are going thru this rough time... please let me know if there is anything i can do for you...
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Old 04-14-2016, 12:29 PM   #11
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Quote:
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I have wondered a couple of times over the past few months why you weren't around. Sucks this is the reason.
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hey mate... i'm saddened to hear that you are going thru this rough time... please let me know if there is anything i can do for you...
Ditto, sorry to hear, but hopefully you both find more happiness in life. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
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Old 04-14-2016, 02:06 PM   #12
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Wow, sucks and sorry to hear. I hope both of you find peace and calm, at least you all can remain friends. Tough, but you will definitely bounce back.
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Old 04-14-2016, 04:10 PM   #13
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Dang sorry to hear Ken.
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Old 04-14-2016, 08:52 PM   #14
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Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
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Old 04-14-2016, 09:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken1997TL
Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
Take a shower.
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Old 04-15-2016, 11:31 AM   #16
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Does this mean you don't not look at porn anymore?
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Old 04-15-2016, 03:55 PM   #17
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Take this experience and learn from it. Enjoy the good things that come from this like freedom, reconnecting with old friends that you didn't have time for, and obviously female variety Good luck!
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Old 04-15-2016, 04:35 PM   #18
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Turn that frown upside down, brother.

The only difference between a good situation and a bad situation is perspective. And understandably, I know it's a shitty place to be right now, but rather than looking and seeing all the bad right now, look at it from the other side. There is good in this.

You have the opportunity to find that magic again. You have free time to do whatever the hell you want. Im a firm believer that there isn't just one person out there for us. And even if there is, maybe the one you found, as good as she was in the past, wasn't the one ultimately for you. And now you have about a billion different possibilities, all over the world.

At a time like this, I'd say it's more important to focus on yourself and only yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself, but rather, seize the opportunity to learn something new about yourself and better yourself in any way possible, whether physically or mentally. Or both.

Everything happens for a reason and although it's not clear right now, I guarantee you that in due time, it will make sense.
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Old 04-16-2016, 07:43 AM   #19
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Sorry to hear, hope both of you move forward in life toward happiness and of course remain friends. Although not the idea situation, at least both of you are handling the situation as mature adults. Good luck.
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:34 AM   #20
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No, he's gonna be looking at a LOT more porn now.
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Old 04-18-2016, 04:51 PM   #21
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Ken, sorry to hear. Not much to say other than if you need me, I'm here for you.

Or, if you'd like to get on a plane, come to Jacksonville, I'll take you out and get you rip-roarin' drunk.
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Old 04-19-2016, 01:51 PM   #22
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Ken sorry to hear, I think it's definitely worse if its not mutual. Hang in there buddy.
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Old 04-19-2016, 01:57 PM   #23
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Does this mean you don't not look at porn anymore?



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Old 04-19-2016, 01:58 PM   #24
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who gets the corgis?
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Old 04-19-2016, 03:02 PM   #25
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In for the nudes of the ex.
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Old 04-19-2016, 07:31 PM   #26
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You guys are brutal!
He's probably kidding. They're probably make up loving right now.
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Old 04-21-2016, 02:38 PM   #27
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Sorry to hear this. Time to hit the gym and make yourself look good again. Has she moved out?

/edit. Did you *just* buy her a car too?? wtf
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Old 04-21-2016, 04:14 PM   #28
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Sorry Ken. Hope all works out for the best.
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Old 04-23-2016, 01:16 PM   #29
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Welcome to the single life again! Been there twice before.
If you are bored take a drive down here to Corvallis. We'll go down to the campus and look at pussy that we're to old to get, drink to excess and talk about which classic rock songs are worthy of keeping a CD copy of.
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Old 04-23-2016, 10:27 PM   #30
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Sorry to hear Ken but sounds like the best solution for the both of you.
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Old 04-25-2016, 11:42 AM   #31
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Sorry to hear Ken.
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Old 04-27-2016, 12:01 PM   #32
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So sorry to hear about that Ken - there's no easy way to get through it but good to hear things at least sound civil. Hope that in time you are able to find that "magic" again.
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Old 04-28-2016, 12:49 PM   #33
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I'm sorry you're going through this, Ken. You've said things are amicable, but I know from experience that amicable doesn't equal easy. And when the person you're used to talking about all the hard shit with is the hard shit, you're left looking for someone else lean on.

I'm glad your friends have remained supportive. Hang in there - you'll get through it.
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Old 04-29-2016, 05:42 AM   #34
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Sorry to hear about the end of your marriage....
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Old 05-06-2016, 11:33 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken1997TL View Post
Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
I haven't announced this on Azine but I'm in the same boat. Wife and I separated a year ago this month. I have 2 little girls so it has been super hard. It has gotten better but the beginning was so rough. It sucks sitting alone with thoughts running through your head. Please message me if you need advice or just want to talk. I know what you're going through.
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Old 05-09-2016, 09:37 AM   #36
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^Been there Maker. I got 2 little girls too. PM me if you want to discuss.
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Old 05-09-2016, 03:03 PM   #37
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^Been there Maker. I got 2 little girls too. PM me if you want to discuss.
Thanks Doom

Still have thoughts wondering if I made the right decision to leave. I don't think that'll ever change. But we are good now. I have my girls equal or if not more than her. Communication is good. I've been dating and seeing other people. It is fucking weird after being with someone for 13 years. Sorry to thread jack Ken. You have people here if you need advice.
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Old 05-09-2016, 03:49 PM   #38
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Thanks Doom

Still have thoughts wondering if I made the right decision to leave. I don't think that'll ever change. But we are good now. I have my girls equal or if not more than her. Communication is good. I've been dating and seeing other people. It is fucking weird after being with someone for 13 years. Sorry to thread jack Ken. You have people here if you need advice.
thread jack...you made the decision???
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Old 05-09-2016, 03:52 PM   #39
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Yes.
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Old 05-09-2016, 04:30 PM   #40
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Yes.
Sorry it got to that point.
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