Update: Divorcing - Staying as Friends - AcuraZine - Acura Enthusiast Community



Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about itů

Update: Divorcing - Staying as Friends

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-14-2016, 12:51 AM   #1
Senior Moderator
Thread Starter
 
Ken1997TL's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Portlandia, Oregon
Posts: 44,459
Thanked 1,953 Times in 1,134 Posts
Update: Divorcing - Staying as Friends

Well, the cat is out of the bag. My wife and I are heading to splitsville.

Sad and unfortunate. It's not entirely mutual, it's mostly on her end but we haven't really lived as a couple these past few years. The 'magic' is gone. You can't make someone love you.

So yeah, I haven't been on here much. I've had a lot of shit to deal with the past six months. Fortunately, it's not a hostile situation. We still talk, we care for each other. We even went to a wedding recently as a 'couple'. Weird but I guess that's what mature people do.

We've been dragging our feet on the paperwork and finances, though it's pretty cut and dry and we're not contesting money and no kids makes it fairly easy I suppose.

We have a lot of mutual friends, none of them like this or think it's a good idea but.. the support has definitely been there for us both.
Ken1997TL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 01:02 AM   #2
Registered Member
iTrader: (15)
 
Flipster23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 32,035
Thanked 1,656 Times in 1,407 Posts
Damn sorry to hear.....
Flipster23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 01:41 AM   #3
The Third Ball
 
Sarlacc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Age: 38
Posts: 45,021
Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,638 Posts
Very sorry to hear Ken. Feel free to hit me up if you need.
Sarlacc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 06:30 AM   #4
Registered Member
 
damaged442's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Cuse, NY
Posts: 308
Thanked 45 Times in 41 Posts
Just went through all that myself. Very similar situation though, it was all on her end. We have three kids, which definitely complicates things. Trust me when I say that it is a good thing when you can remain amicable. It gets brutal, and expensive, when you argue and disagree about everything.


It is said that you never truly know a person until you sit across from them in court, but I wish you good luck.


Any marriage takes work. My parents said that for years. They have lasted over 46 years, and I have no idea how. I just think they didn't give up. Its too easy today to just give up. I know I didn't want to, but it is what it is. If both aren't committed and into it, no sense in wasting your life being unhappy.
damaged442 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 06:47 AM   #5
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 46
Posts: 68,685
Thanked 896 Times in 599 Posts
sorry to hear.......
Whiskers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 06:58 AM   #6
Moderator
Chapter Leader (South Florida Region)
iTrader: (6)
 
rockstar143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 57,358
Thanked 12,923 Times in 9,631 Posts
Damn, Ken. I'm sorry to hear too, man.
rockstar143 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 06:59 AM   #7
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 46
Posts: 68,685
Thanked 896 Times in 599 Posts
So....You are single now?????
Whiskers is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Whiskers For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016)
Old 04-14-2016, 07:04 AM   #8
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (1)
 
ggesq's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 12,218
Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,138 Posts
I'm sorry to hear this Ken. Have you tried counseling? Best of luck to both of you.
ggesq is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 09:04 AM   #9
Senior Moderator
 
oo7spy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,323
Thanked 3,424 Times in 2,521 Posts
I have wondered a couple of times over the past few months why you weren't around. Sucks this is the reason.
oo7spy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 09:13 AM   #10
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (5)
 
KaMLuNg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Age: 34
Posts: 15,985
Thanked 764 Times in 544 Posts
hey mate... i'm saddened to hear that you are going thru this rough time... please let me know if there is anything i can do for you...
KaMLuNg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 11:29 AM   #11
Needs more Lemon Pledge
 
stogie1020's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Age: 45
Posts: 50,209
Thanked 1,601 Times in 956 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by oo7spy View Post
I have wondered a couple of times over the past few months why you weren't around. Sucks this is the reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaMLuNg View Post
hey mate... i'm saddened to hear that you are going thru this rough time... please let me know if there is anything i can do for you...
Ditto, sorry to hear, but hopefully you both find more happiness in life. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
stogie1020 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 01:06 PM   #12
SixSpeedDreamin'
 
Willie3.5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Gawja!
Age: 32
Posts: 500
Thanked 35 Times in 33 Posts
Wow, sucks and sorry to hear. I hope both of you find peace and calm, at least you all can remain friends. Tough, but you will definitely bounce back.
Willie3.5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 03:10 PM   #13
Moderator
Regional Coordinator (Southeast)
 
CCColtsicehockey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mooresville, NC
Age: 31
Posts: 37,336
Thanked 1,772 Times in 1,236 Posts
Dang sorry to hear Ken.
CCColtsicehockey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 07:52 PM   #14
Senior Moderator
Thread Starter
 
Ken1997TL's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Portlandia, Oregon
Posts: 44,459
Thanked 1,953 Times in 1,134 Posts
Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
Ken1997TL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2016, 08:04 PM   #15
Go Giants
 
Whiskers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: PA
Age: 46
Posts: 68,685
Thanked 896 Times in 599 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken1997TL
Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
Take a shower.
Whiskers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2016, 10:31 AM   #16
Senior Moderator
 
oo7spy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,323
Thanked 3,424 Times in 2,521 Posts
Does this mean you don't not look at porn anymore?
oo7spy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2016, 02:55 PM   #17
Legend
 
Doom878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Miami, FL
Age: 39
Posts: 22,716
Thanked 681 Times in 521 Posts
Take this experience and learn from it. Enjoy the good things that come from this like freedom, reconnecting with old friends that you didn't have time for, and obviously female variety Good luck!
Doom878 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doom878 For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016)
Old 04-15-2016, 03:35 PM   #18
I love tacos
 
TacoBello's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In an igloo
Posts: 23,617
Thanked 3,380 Times in 2,535 Posts
Turn that frown upside down, brother.

The only difference between a good situation and a bad situation is perspective. And understandably, I know it's a shitty place to be right now, but rather than looking and seeing all the bad right now, look at it from the other side. There is good in this.

You have the opportunity to find that magic again. You have free time to do whatever the hell you want. Im a firm believer that there isn't just one person out there for us. And even if there is, maybe the one you found, as good as she was in the past, wasn't the one ultimately for you. And now you have about a billion different possibilities, all over the world.

At a time like this, I'd say it's more important to focus on yourself and only yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself, but rather, seize the opportunity to learn something new about yourself and better yourself in any way possible, whether physically or mentally. Or both.

Everything happens for a reason and although it's not clear right now, I guarantee you that in due time, it will make sense.
TacoBello is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TacoBello For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016), Oh Sickest TL (04-24-2016), teh CL (04-20-2016)
Old 04-16-2016, 06:43 AM   #19
Alright, alright, alright
 
Legend2TL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Maryland
Posts: 10,408
Thanked 1,287 Times in 837 Posts
Sorry to hear, hope both of you move forward in life toward happiness and of course remain friends. Although not the idea situation, at least both of you are handling the situation as mature adults. Good luck.
Legend2TL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2016, 07:34 AM   #20
Moderator
Chapter Leader (South Florida Region)
iTrader: (6)
 
rockstar143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 57,358
Thanked 12,923 Times in 9,631 Posts
No, he's gonna be looking at a LOT more porn now.
rockstar143 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2016, 03:51 PM   #21
Chapter Leader
(Northeast Florida)
 
gatrhumpy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Age: 37
Posts: 31,120
Thanked 876 Times in 571 Posts
Ken, sorry to hear. Not much to say other than if you need me, I'm here for you.

Or, if you'd like to get on a plane, come to Jacksonville, I'll take you out and get you rip-roarin' drunk.
gatrhumpy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gatrhumpy For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016)
Old 04-19-2016, 12:51 PM   #22
Senior Moderator
 
cM3go's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IL
Posts: 15,035
Thanked 95 Times in 66 Posts
Ken sorry to hear, I think it's definitely worse if its not mutual. Hang in there buddy.
cM3go is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2016, 12:57 PM   #23
Moderator
iTrader: (1)
 
justnspace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 73,363
Thanked 12,890 Times in 9,534 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by oo7spy View Post
Does this mean you don't not look at porn anymore?



justnspace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2016, 12:58 PM   #24
Moderator
iTrader: (1)
 
justnspace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 73,363
Thanked 12,890 Times in 9,534 Posts
who gets the corgis?
justnspace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2016, 02:02 PM   #25
FOUR RINGS
 
1killercls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dunedin, Fla.
Posts: 43,854
Thanked 1,253 Times in 837 Posts
In for the nudes of the ex.
1killercls is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 1killercls For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016)
Old 04-19-2016, 06:31 PM   #26
Moderator
Chapter Leader (South Florida Region)
iTrader: (6)
 
rockstar143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 57,358
Thanked 12,923 Times in 9,631 Posts
You guys are brutal!
He's probably kidding. They're probably make up loving right now.
rockstar143 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2016, 01:38 PM   #27
RAR
 
leedogg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: DC Metro
Age: 40
Posts: 10,133
Thanked 841 Times in 501 Posts
Sorry to hear this. Time to hit the gym and make yourself look good again. Has she moved out?

/edit. Did you *just* buy her a car too?? wtf
leedogg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2016, 03:14 PM   #28
Registered PW
iTrader: (4)
 
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Landisville, PA
Age: 42
Posts: 37,227
Thanked 575 Times in 405 Posts
Sorry Ken. Hope all works out for the best.
RaviNJCLs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2016, 12:16 PM   #29
Registered Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,490
Thanked 600 Times in 485 Posts
Welcome to the single life again! Been there twice before.
If you are bored take a drive down here to Corvallis. We'll go down to the campus and look at pussy that we're to old to get, drink to excess and talk about which classic rock songs are worthy of keeping a CD copy of.
Mr Marco is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mr Marco For This Useful Post:
Oh Sickest TL (04-24-2016)
Old 04-23-2016, 09:27 PM   #30
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (1)
 
NSXNEXT's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: where the weather suits my clothes
Posts: 27,616
Thanked 662 Times in 410 Posts
Sorry to hear Ken but sounds like the best solution for the both of you.
NSXNEXT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2016, 10:42 AM   #31
registered pw
 
dallison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: south central pa
Age: 42
Posts: 38,634
Thanked 239 Times in 178 Posts
Sorry to hear Ken.
dallison is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2016, 11:01 AM   #32
Get off my lawn
 
1Louder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Age: 50
Posts: 8,884
Thanked 3,153 Times in 1,620 Posts
So sorry to hear about that Ken - there's no easy way to get through it but good to hear things at least sound civil. Hope that in time you are able to find that "magic" again.
1Louder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2016, 11:49 AM   #33
Earth-bound misfit
 
wndrlst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Age: 41
Posts: 31,584
Thanked 565 Times in 285 Posts
I'm sorry you're going through this, Ken. You've said things are amicable, but I know from experience that amicable doesn't equal easy. And when the person you're used to talking about all the hard shit with is the hard shit, you're left looking for someone else lean on.

I'm glad your friends have remained supportive. Hang in there - you'll get through it.
wndrlst is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to wndrlst For This Useful Post:
Mr. Maker (05-06-2016), ttribe (05-10-2017)
Old 04-29-2016, 04:42 AM   #34
Registered Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,804
Thanked 421 Times in 331 Posts
Sorry to hear about the end of your marriage....
YeuEmMaiMai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2016, 10:33 AM   #35
Registered Member
iTrader: (4)
 
Mr. Maker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Southeast, Va
Posts: 21,548
Thanked 3,411 Times in 1,664 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken1997TL View Post
Thank you all. It's tough for sure. She was my best friend which frankly makes it even worse. You end up with a serious void and few others to confide in. On the plus side, it's really opened up my days. I'm free to do whatever I want.
I haven't announced this on Azine but I'm in the same boat. Wife and I separated a year ago this month. I have 2 little girls so it has been super hard. It has gotten better but the beginning was so rough. It sucks sitting alone with thoughts running through your head. Please message me if you need advice or just want to talk. I know what you're going through.
Mr. Maker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2016, 08:37 AM   #36
Legend
 
Doom878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Miami, FL
Age: 39
Posts: 22,716
Thanked 681 Times in 521 Posts
^Been there Maker. I got 2 little girls too. PM me if you want to discuss.
Doom878 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2016, 02:03 PM   #37
Registered Member
iTrader: (4)
 
Mr. Maker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Southeast, Va
Posts: 21,548
Thanked 3,411 Times in 1,664 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doom878 View Post
^Been there Maker. I got 2 little girls too. PM me if you want to discuss.
Thanks Doom

Still have thoughts wondering if I made the right decision to leave. I don't think that'll ever change. But we are good now. I have my girls equal or if not more than her. Communication is good. I've been dating and seeing other people. It is fucking weird after being with someone for 13 years. Sorry to thread jack Ken. You have people here if you need advice.
Mr. Maker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2016, 02:49 PM   #38
The Third Ball
 
Sarlacc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Age: 38
Posts: 45,021
Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,638 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Maker View Post
Thanks Doom

Still have thoughts wondering if I made the right decision to leave. I don't think that'll ever change. But we are good now. I have my girls equal or if not more than her. Communication is good. I've been dating and seeing other people. It is fucking weird after being with someone for 13 years. Sorry to thread jack Ken. You have people here if you need advice.
thread jack...you made the decision???
Sarlacc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2016, 02:52 PM   #39
Registered Member
iTrader: (4)
 
Mr. Maker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Southeast, Va
Posts: 21,548
Thanked 3,411 Times in 1,664 Posts
Yes.
Mr. Maker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2016, 03:30 PM   #40
The Third Ball
 
Sarlacc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Age: 38
Posts: 45,021
Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,638 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Maker View Post
Yes.
Sorry it got to that point.
Sarlacc is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2016 Brown DVD update for Nav System ptbarnett 3G RLX Audio, Bluetooth, Electronics & Navigation 8 06-06-2016 07:55 AM
Real question, how do guys make friends with other guys RDX10 Ramblings 167 04-28-2016 05:09 PM


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:05 AM.