Ok, I was hoping someone else would ask this first but.....What is ATM ?

 

It's kind of like an Automated Teller Machine, only what it's paying is a lot nastier.

 

thats just weird

 

 

You never go ATM....Especially with those high fees....

 

LOL haha stinky punani. My friends and I had a discussion on that just the other day. Our hypothesis was that too much meat = stinky downstairs. No definite conclusion yet but I read that yogurt was good for the lady spot.

 

How much would a british cumdumpster charge ya for that?

 

 

Which type of MEAT are you referring to here ?

 

No I have come across a fresh and clean meaty pussy. Plus I think that is a white guy phobia, aint nothing wrong with a little lippage.

 

I STILL haven't heard what ATM is ........

 

AssToMouth

 

 

Tells us how does it taste :theghey:

 

Its more the smell

 

 

Well Oprah's guest said to think of the vag as a self cleaning oven. No douching or harsh chemicals needed. Well in order for a self cleaning oven to work it has to get really hot to burn off all the impurities. Maybe you gotta rev her engine a little to get her oven clean if you know what I mean. Take one for the team and get cookin!!!It don't mean a thang if it ain't got that twang.

 

^^ lay off the drugs.

 

Aw shucks. I thought it was a clever post.

 

lol im just messing with ya.

 

You know ya boy had to weigh in on this...

As Johnnie "Cock"ran would say about the punani:

If it stink like shit...then you must uhhhhh QUIT!!!!

Look what happened to ya boy dark once upon a time...

I dated this chick before whom I met online. Now, as I mentioned before in the "crying thread", I love a woman with passion! Bring it and mean it! So, anyway, this chick and I used to vibe online before we met. I flex the poetry when I wanna, so she used to tell me I would make her wet when I write. I was like dayuumm baby gurl (but I knew she wasn't lying because I heard it before!). Not poetry necessarily about sex, just period. You know how I do.

Ok, so I knew we had to get together and I made it happen. We met, and we had fun. Nice time. Georgia Brown's in DC if any of you have been there. Cozy lil spot. So, nothing alarming at that time. I schooled a drunk in the park, who wanted some money, about life, and rubbed her legs up/down, played with some tit and basically just worked myself up for nothing cuz she wasn't having it on the first date. I was cool, cuz I've never been a guy who wondered where his next meal was coming from sex-wise, so I knew fucking was on the horizon. So she made it happen!

Went over to her house the next time. Got comfortable, mellowed out with some drink, and proceeded eventually to "DA PORN"!! (You know your boy!) We got "in" the mood and "out" of our clothes!

At first, while she licked and sucked and I enjoyed the show (she had subpar fellatio game, but some nice ass titties that were chocolate and hung just right, plus no lie dawg - the perfect ass, I mean fucking nice!). I was so into me and receiving, that I was not aware of anything out of the ordinary in the smell spectrum at the time. I attribute that to her washing and putting on the right aromatic fragrance to hold my ass in suspense!

The moaning was getting more and more hypnotic and she told me she had to have me. So I reached in the pillowcase where I parked my Magnum, and dressed Rex for success! (as in Tyrannosaurus Rex - which means "terrible lizard" YOU KNOW YA BOY! HOLLA! -and don't even think about stealing my co-pilot's name either, we patented and shit!)

So, I'm pumping and thumping - still, no "incoming vaprs". Just a slight smell like we having fun, but nothing to make me grab my shoes and shit! Nah, in fact, I was having a ball and she was too. So we were cool for that night.

So her enjoying me and me enjoying her means what fellas? Yup...schedule another ep! So we made it happen!

Nooowwww is where things got to be a little more than your boy was built to handle. I can't remember what led to the fucking, but does it really matter? Nope, so cue in the '70s music and let's do this! Ok, we in the bed and she's laid back looking at me while your boy is doing a fake-ass break dance step in his drawws to make her laugh. So I'm doing all of this standing over her on the bed while she is wearing a sexy-ass green lace ensemble that I wanted to eat off of her! Oh yeah, my turn tonight to be "all I could eat"! So, when I look down, as I tower over her to mark my target, something sinister smacks the shit out of my nose! Now, your boy ain't no biatch, so I reel for a second, right the ship, then glance back at the sugar walls one mo'gin! Then it starts really fucking with me man, I mean like Ali-Frazier fucking with me! So, I man up, and ask her what the fuck is that smell coming from the Y?? She says what smell? I say that smell that's hooking my nose like the smell on the Pepe Le Peww cartoon! She says that it's just her natural smell. So, I say to myself, "Houston, we have a problem...but we gonna be cool, cuz we ain't no biatch!" So let me pause for the cause and make one thing clear - I ain't eat a mufuckin' thang! LOL! Fa sho!

But I strapped up, and tried to stab it...Rex wouldn't budge! He was at attention at first, but then he fell out of formation! LOL! She was like what's wrong? I said to myself bitch that's my line! Hahahaha! So we called it a night eventually cuz Rex refused to participate at that time.

But the same thing kept happening on other nights. Pungent odor - dick go down! I mean, I could pull up to her garage harder than times in '29! But once I got near her...Rex retreated. It got so that I would try to pep talk him and what not in the car, but he was like nope - she funky like a monkey! He said my name Bennett and I ain't in it! LOL!

I remember one day, I left my door open, and she came over while I was cooking. She did her Robin Givens move from Boomerang, overcoat and birthday suit! Body banging like shit dude! She took that coat off - and it was release the hounds! ROFLMAO! My shit just went limp while I held the titties in hand! Damn!

Another time, I was taking a shower. I come out dawg, and she had come in the house, and was spread over my bed with a lavender thong ensemble on with that phat ass on display! She said that I can fuck her in the ass and do whatever I wanted to do with her - no joke! I was harder than a motherfucker, and stepped out the bathroom - but the pussy was the opposite effect of Medusa - it turned my dick to noodles when I looked at it! Hahahahaha!

This happened repeatedly, so I went to my female friends to seek pussy guidance! I got the usual, and I also got these two that stuck out in my mind for some reason:
- hair down there and the sweat
- promiscuous, she fucking a lot maybe with different dudes

Now, to describe what this smelled like to me...best I could say is it smelled like severe underarm odor! Seriously! Like she just finished shooting ball, or had a steak & cheese sub in a leglock type smell! I mean dayyuuummm!!

Eventually, dawg, I just stopped trying and we had a big fallout over that. She tried to talk shit about me not getting hard. I told her that I had fucked before, and after being with her (same night) and it was no problem. In fact, cuz this was fucking with me psychologically about going soft, I did it on purpose to reassure that it wasn't me. And it wasn't. So my parting thought to her was "I got two words for you mofo - HY - GIENE"!!!!!! Grabbed my shit, and bounced! I haven't seen or heard from her since.

Moral to the story:

Confuscious say "He who falls for big butt and a smile, if he gets too close, may literally FALL cuz of big butt and a smile!!"

Peace2fingaz!

 

Actually darksom1 you are right.
Today I happen to smell it without her being around. But how? How you say. Well here goes...
I work out in the morning and I had to run some errands. So I wake up, workout for 1.5 hours then go to the grocery store, book store, target, and apple store. I had my sweater on so you couldnt smell me plus my sweat tends to only stink after its been sitting in the laundry. So this whole time my meat was marinating in sweat and after workout funk. So I dont get home till an hour or two after leaving the gym. Well after taking off my compression shorts I smell a familiar funk. So I smell the shorts and low and behold same properties of the smell sans vagina hinted flavor. So basically she has a dirty cooch which blows my mind because I have rubbed my hands through her hair and its always smelling fresh (hair on her head that is) and usually I would think someone with fresh hair would also have a fresh cooch. Either way I think she was offended by my convo with her because I havent talked to her since.

My stinky vag adventure is over...hopefully no sequel.

 

 

LOL, meat meaning eating too much of it as in red meat haha not the meaty lips downstairs. haha.

 

and at the same time... Dude next time you get a chance to hook up with her just tell her that you like to do it in the shower... maybe she might even like a "golden shower"

 

Darksom1, do you write for Black Tail magazine?

 

Never understood the golden shower. I am more into swallowing chicks then chicks who get pissed on. Hmmmm maybe I am missing out? Maybe its better.

 

Darksom1 is white and works in accounting for a mid size insurance company.

 

Just like you?

 

He works 2 cubicles over, our wives play bunko together. This weekend we are taking the kids upstate to see the fresh snow and take in ice hockey if we can.

 

Sounds delish....

 

Indeed it is, Me and the Chuckster (darksom1) are a hoot and a half.

 

yeah, I'm not into golden showers either it was just a possible suggestion... but I can tell you this... one time I was about to take a leak and my g/f at the time walked in, I jokingly said... "wanna hold 'it'..."? and so she did... BOY! What a turn-on!

 

Would have been cooler if she whipped out her own....

 

 

For a story at least....

 

- Nah man, I just tell it like it is. My life is a song worth singing...or some shit like that!

 

Went on a date with a former coworker tonight, she smelled great, extremely clean and well shaven legs. Sad Sad day that those are the first things i notice.

 

Thank god I can barely smell

 

you swallowed a chick?