In a rut
10-02-2011, 12:37 PM
#1
an asshole from florida
Thread Starter
In a rut
Does anyone else ever find their self in a rut with meeting women sometimes?
It seems like I cant speak to women and if I do, I feel like it fizzles away so quick. Ive never been a player and never have really spoken to a ton of women at a time but I always seemed to have some success with talking to em.
Now it just seems like I cant find anything in me to approach women, has this happened to anyone else. It sucks too since I moved up to Georgia two months ago and it doesnt seem like any women are remotely interested in me.
Kind of depressing honestly
It seems like I cant speak to women and if I do, I feel like it fizzles away so quick. Ive never been a player and never have really spoken to a ton of women at a time but I always seemed to have some success with talking to em.
Now it just seems like I cant find anything in me to approach women, has this happened to anyone else. It sucks too since I moved up to Georgia two months ago and it doesnt seem like any women are remotely interested in me.
Kind of depressing honestly
10-02-2011, 01:36 PM
#5
Needs more Lemon Pledge
Cheat at first. Talk to women you have NO intention of picking up/dating. Married women in the grocery line (nice melons 
), someone next to you at the magazine stand, person in line behind you at the coffee shop.
Once you get back feeling comfortable, use the same approach (easy and casual) with someone you ARE interested in.
Also, smile. A lot. Not a cheesy smile, an easygoing one.
I keep getting accused of flirting because I will and do talk to ANYONE. EVERYONE actually... If they are within 5 feet of me, I am probably having a conversation with them.
), someone next to you at the magazine stand, person in line behind you at the coffee shop.Once you get back feeling comfortable, use the same approach (easy and casual) with someone you ARE interested in.
Also, smile. A lot. Not a cheesy smile, an easygoing one.
I keep getting accused of flirting because I will and do talk to ANYONE. EVERYONE actually... If they are within 5 feet of me, I am probably having a conversation with them.
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phee (10-25-2011)
10-02-2011, 01:52 PM
#6
an asshole from florida
Thread Starter
I try to but I usually feel extremely awkward. Its funny because once I do start feeling comfortable doing that someone says something that pretty much rocks that confidence I built up. I wish i could say that someone saying something doesnt bother me but in all honesty it does at this point in time for me, at least for me talking to people. Ill be all good and talking to someone, and then a friend or something will start calling me creepy and I guess that just messes with my head...
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10-02-2011, 02:12 PM
#8
Your Friendly Canadian
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It's hard to be unfazed by comments like that, and unfortunately confidence isn't a switch that you can just turn on.
I think stogie's advice about starting with people you're not interested in is great advice. I`ve started doing the same thing, talking to random people at places like football games, in class, places where there`s an easy conversation starter.
I think stogie's advice about starting with people you're not interested in is great advice. I`ve started doing the same thing, talking to random people at places like football games, in class, places where there`s an easy conversation starter.
10-02-2011, 03:22 PM
#14
Coal
Join Date: Dec 2009
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It all starts with how you see yourself, if there is any doubt, it will magnify itself.
Are you all settled in? Got some bros to chill with, parties to go to etc.? From what i've experienced chicks love a guy they haven't met before. Just make yourself at home and enjoy yourself. They'll come.
Oh and don't bring up anything job/education wise. Bitches hate braggers
Are you all settled in? Got some bros to chill with, parties to go to etc.? From what i've experienced chicks love a guy they haven't met before. Just make yourself at home and enjoy yourself. They'll come.
Oh and don't bring up anything job/education wise. Bitches hate braggers
10-02-2011, 06:31 PM
#15
Early Shifter
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You need to go through a few confidence boosters. lol
Just kidding, I'm married so no real advice from me other than a hopefully amusing comment.
Just be yourself, look at it like this....do want to play a front if you meet a girl that you could spend forever with? Be yourself, be honest. If you're shy be shy, it's only a protection barrier that goes away shortly after meeting someone. I'd say women understand when a guy is shy but what man actually knows what women think. lol
Just kidding, I'm married so no real advice from me other than a hopefully amusing comment.
Just be yourself, look at it like this....do want to play a front if you meet a girl that you could spend forever with? Be yourself, be honest. If you're shy be shy, it's only a protection barrier that goes away shortly after meeting someone. I'd say women understand when a guy is shy but what man actually knows what women think. lol
10-03-2011, 08:30 AM
#16
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don't steal other peoples' jokes
10-03-2011, 08:31 AM
#17
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As for me, I was scared to break off my last relationship because all that I saw out there was chicks with kids, and all I found on dating sites were either chicks with kids, or chicks who lied about their physical appearance. Eventually I made the decision to just be single for a while. Then I ran into a girl that I used to admire from afar when we both were dating other people, and we've been together ever since
10-03-2011, 09:07 AM
#19
Senior Moderator
I agree with the above that you need to work on some less intimidating (read: more ugly) prospects. Not to actually find your soul mate, but to gain some confidence. That will help you enormously b/c, like stated, chicks can see that hole in your confidence.
Are you in school, do you work, what do you do in your free time? From your age, I would suggest going parties (house parties with kegs). Girls will typically show up in groups and tend to mingle in those groups. Walk up to the group, and strike up a convo with the least attractive one there. This will do three things (probably): 1) it should help you not get intimidated if she is the least attractive, 2) being next to the more attractive girls will build your experience socializing around them, & 3) the more attractive ones will see that you are at least entertaining the idea with the ugly ducklings and think that you are a sweet guy. Chances are they will jump in the convo and badda-bing badda-boom, you have a foot in the door. Walk into the party saying to yourself, "I could care less if I leave with a girl tonight, I just want to talk to as many girls as possible." If the only motivation (as far as she can tell) that you have is to get to know someone, girls will be much more inclined to open up to you. You catch more flies with honey, and chicks dig sweet guys. Well, as long as they don't cry more than they do, they dig sweet guys.
Are you in school, do you work, what do you do in your free time? From your age, I would suggest going parties (house parties with kegs). Girls will typically show up in groups and tend to mingle in those groups. Walk up to the group, and strike up a convo with the least attractive one there. This will do three things (probably): 1) it should help you not get intimidated if she is the least attractive, 2) being next to the more attractive girls will build your experience socializing around them, & 3) the more attractive ones will see that you are at least entertaining the idea with the ugly ducklings and think that you are a sweet guy. Chances are they will jump in the convo and badda-bing badda-boom, you have a foot in the door. Walk into the party saying to yourself, "I could care less if I leave with a girl tonight, I just want to talk to as many girls as possible." If the only motivation (as far as she can tell) that you have is to get to know someone, girls will be much more inclined to open up to you. You catch more flies with honey, and chicks dig sweet guys. Well, as long as they don't cry more than they do, they dig sweet guys.
10-03-2011, 09:51 AM
#20
Stage 1 Audi S5
Stogie is def right but the just don't care attitude is the way to go. Walk around like you just want to have a good time and don't worry about the girls around you, they will come. Also, it takes a bit to get settled in at a new place and it is easy to feel you will never meet anyone, that's normal.
Not to mention, you are coming from Gainesville where it is INSANELY easy to pick up hot girls and I have to assume transitioning from school to a job, etc. Relax, it comes.
Not to mention, you are coming from Gainesville where it is INSANELY easy to pick up hot girls and I have to assume transitioning from school to a job, etc. Relax, it comes.
10-03-2011, 02:09 PM
#21
an asshole from florida
Thread Starter
Well I moved from Gainesville to Miami, and now Im in north Atlanta. Not really in the area where anything is happening. Im in school again only thing is that its a med school. And Im doing a masters program there plus Im apparently much younger than everyone. Or at least thats how they make it out.
I know I need to start making more of an effort. I guess im just worried about the whole rejection thing which is going to happen every so often. I just got to push myself a bit more.
I know I need to start making more of an effort. I guess im just worried about the whole rejection thing which is going to happen every so often. I just got to push myself a bit more.
10-03-2011, 02:44 PM
#22
All About Trance
Rejections are like the first nick you receive on your brand new wheels. It hurts at first, but you learn to get over it. Go down to midtown/Buckhead if you want to see nicer girls than what you're currently seeing in your neck of the woods. Virginia Highlands/Little 5 Points have those artsy fartsy types if you're into them.
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phee (10-25-2011)
10-03-2011, 03:03 PM
#23
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10-03-2011, 03:47 PM
#24
Stage 1 Audi S5
Dude, concentrate on your masters and don't worry. Chances are you will not marry a girl you meet during school and school is WAYYY more important. Not to mention, med school is intense and a girl might take up too much time.
10-03-2011, 05:11 PM
#25
Suzuka Master
Stogie is def right but the just don't care attitude is the way to go. Walk around like you just want to have a good time and don't worry about the girls around you, they will come. Also, it takes a bit to get settled in at a new place and it is easy to feel you will never meet anyone, that's normal.
x 2OP is trying too hard. It's all about momentum and unfortunately OP has to start from scratch. Confidence is king and if you walk around with JFL (Just f-cked look) like you really don't care since you're getting your d-ck wet already, it will be much easier to meet women.
Ladies smell the stench of desperation and lack of confidence like sharks smell blood. Just ask Mizouse.
10-03-2011, 09:42 PM
#26
an asshole from florida
Thread Starter
haha well put rick. A big part of me meeting women is that school is priority. I do want to head to virginia Highlands and little 5 points since i do like the artsy types
10-03-2011, 09:53 PM
#27
Senior Moderator
I prefer the fartsy types. Maybe I could be your wingman. :wink:
10-03-2011, 10:12 PM
#28
Suzuka Master
Hells yeah man, the artsy girls sometimes are the freakiest. Plus, they can be a lot friendlier than some stuck up club bitches IMO. Just go to open mic night at the coffee shop or go study there and talk to chicks. You'll be fine.
10-03-2011, 10:45 PM
#29
All About Trance
If you want to meet chicks, Virginia-Highlands has the best bars in town. My favorite back in college was Hand In Hand. Girls to guys ratio was more like 3:1. If nothing is happening there, there's another bar right next to it and so on.
come party with me
10-04-2011, 03:42 PM
#33
Senior Moderator
Chicks dig good grammar.
10-04-2011, 05:07 PM
#35
Senior Moderator
Just the thought of initiating contact through email is funny.
10-04-2011, 08:25 PM
#36
Team Owner
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Seems like you have been trying. Maybe stop trying for a bit. Not too long....maybe just a couple weeks. Go out and just enjoy being out with your friends. Stop trying to meet someone. That was always the time I would end up finding someone.
10-04-2011, 10:04 PM
#37
an asshole from florida
Thread Starter
well from now til next tuesday I will have no life. I have a biomedical modeling test as well as a biocem/molecular bio test and I need to ace these.
But after that...its on
But after that...its on
10-04-2011, 11:05 PM
#38
Does anyone else ever find their self in a rut with meeting women sometimes?
It seems like I cant speak to women and if I do, I feel like it fizzles away so quick. Ive never been a player and never have really spoken to a ton of women at a time but I always seemed to have some success with talking to em.
Now it just seems like I cant find anything in me to approach women, has this happened to anyone else. It sucks too since I moved up to Georgia two months ago and it doesnt seem like any women are remotely interested in me.
Kind of depressing honestly
It seems like I cant speak to women and if I do, I feel like it fizzles away so quick. Ive never been a player and never have really spoken to a ton of women at a time but I always seemed to have some success with talking to em.
Now it just seems like I cant find anything in me to approach women, has this happened to anyone else. It sucks too since I moved up to Georgia two months ago and it doesnt seem like any women are remotely interested in me.
Kind of depressing honestly
I know the feeling all too well
10-05-2011, 08:23 AM
#39
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