Rounder

Ok here's the deal. My best friend dated this chick for almost 2 years. Over that time, it's only natural that I became her friend, since she was dating my best friend. She broke up with him 6 months ago, he's still not over her.

She got a new BF a few weeks after she broke up with him. They have been dating since.

I still kept in touch with her, but only wrote back to her emails and stuff when she asked how I was, etc. I never contacted her first.

Now, most of my friends said I shouldn't even be talking to her, because what she did to my best friend. So I felt, feel stuck in the middle. Cuz I'm not the type of guy that just drops friends like that, you know?

So now today she sent me a text saying she wants to come down and watch us in bowling league cuz she is friends with our other team mate. I told her to text her ex to see if he's cool with it.

But then, she tells me "can you keep a secret? me and [new guy] are getting engaged..." So I don't see how she doesn't expect me to tell my best friend, so he actually just called and I told him, and he's obviously upset...

So basically it's been back and forth texting and I basically told her that don't bother coming down to watch or see us, and that I shouldn't really talk to her anymore cuz I feel stuck in the middle and I should be siding with my friend, and take the advice of most everyone else and not keep in touch with her anymore.

So basically I told her just now that I don't want to be a dick but I feel like a dick saying I don't want to talk to her anymore, but she said she understands and we can still be friends and not talk, and if I need anything, to call...

So, I think I did the right thing here, even though I don't feel 100% cool with it, but I have to side with my friend, and it woulda been different if he broke up with her, but that wasn't the case.

I'm just not the kind of person to just cut friends out of my life, but in this case, I think it's warranted. Maybe I made the initial mistake of still being cordial to her after they broke up...

svtmike

I think you did the right thing under the circumstances. But your friend needs to get over her.

SG81

iTrader: (1)

that's life. people come, people go. you have to be able to cut people out of your life every now and then

Rounder

I agree that my friend needs to get over her. It's been awhile, but he's one of those guys that it's tough to let go. I worry about him, that he may do something bad to himself...

dBski11

she got engaged after 5 months?

Rounder

They picked out a ring this weekend. They are getting engaged next month... so it will be ~ 6 months. I told her that's too short a time to get to know someone and get engaged...

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Like SG said....people come and go.

I didn't see a problem with you talking to her. You became friends over the 2 years. It happens. I don't see a problem with you occationally seeing her. I think it's really shitty that she will ask you to keep things from your friend.

You did the right thing.

Infamous425

i think your friend is being a bitch. he needs to get over it, obviously she's moved on. you should be able to be friends with her if you want to.

SupaRookie

already engage 6 months after brokeup...

amisconception

Knowing how caught up guys can get over girls I can understand your best friend's point of view. However that behavior isn't always justified, certainly not forever. These guys obviously need to get over the Ex's ASAP and thus the longer they bitch and moan about how she was "the one" or how "hurt" he is the less your obligation to his feelings are justified. There's a line you should hold for your male friends (lest they turn you soft by association). I would give a friend who wasn't married about two months MAX - and that's only IF he wasn't aware of the "game" and was an ugly guy with a girl that was way hotter than he could easily pull.

However this girl is a cunt for not giving a damn about your friend and not taking his broken up behavior under considation. Drop this girl as a "friend" - she's obviously a good fucker and her new guy is wrapped around her finger, hence the short 5-month courtship and your boy's emotional devestation.

Tell your boy to sleep with more broads by the way. What kind of friend are you anyway? They've been broken up for 6 months and you haven't helped him get laid? Shame on you.

RMATIC09

^

Rock2534

I thought this was gonna be a good one about your boys ex trying to hook up with you!

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Then the title would be "Problem with best friend BECAUSE of his ex."

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

and

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

ditto, drama FTL

EuRTSX

Spot on.

Dr. Colorado

Bros>hos

phee

iTrader: (5)

chances are she has been messing around with the new guy while she was with your dude. stay away

ryder1650

You did the right thing, your best friend is much more valuable than this chick that you won't get any play from. Bros before hoes always.

love099

your friend definitely need to move on... it's not your fault if you're still communicating with her after your friend and his ex broke up. it's not even a bad thing for me... well anyway you already talked to her to back off...

darksom1

I just saw this...but it is never too late to comment in AZ...

First...

Most women that date a guy for 2 years, usually retain some emotional baggage for awhile afterwards. To fall in love after only a few weeks when that relationship is over, usually means one of two things:

1) She was cheating with this new guy prior to the relationship ending

-or-

2) The new guy is "rebound" material, an emotional rescue of sorts

I'm going to go with cheating for obvious reasons. Her new relationship is blossoming too fast toward bliss. Her 0-60 or vag "dry to wet" time is just too fast! As her actions lend credence to the perception that she has cheated on your boy, or was well on her way to doing it probably...why do you want to be friends with her anyway?

Secondly...

Your boy was not ready for this girl in the first place. Any person that comes into your life when you are supposedly a WHOLE person, and leaves you in a fractured state...then you were not whole when they came into your life. You simply were not ready emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You needed something they gave you to make you whole. Now they are gone and it's gone as well. In your boy's case, it is clearly strength. The strength to cope and deal with life's disappointments alone for one. She was his security blanket ala Linus.

A lot of people end a relationship with someone and are ripped apart. They make them their everything and feel they can't go on without them. Now, I am talking about just breakups. Not tragic losses or untimely demises. Everybody has to be emotionally torn to some degree when they lose someone they love by whatever means. I am not talking about that typical loss either.

I am strictly referring to the people like your boy who breakup with a girl and are so heartbroken they are oblivious to the world and the things they need to be able to see that will get them thru their tough times the fastest - more women. More women and sex does not erase the loss immediately. But, it is part of a process that will do it over time...getting on with your life. Your boy needs to stop being a bitch and man up. Tell him about the chick and tell him that she probably was cheating on him with this guy. It should lessen her value to him, and increase his chances of getting over her.

If you aren't trying to fuck this girl, then leave her alone. There is no reason to keep up this "friendship", as IMO, it only serves in her eyes to retain someone on her side from that previous circle who does not think she is a bad person. To validate her moves. That's part of the reason why she doesn't want your boy to know.

Bros before hos is very real. You must show loyalty to your boy, and you must also make him aware (if he doesn't know it) that you and this chick have remained friends because if you don't and it comes out, then you will be branded a traitor. Now go get your boy laid and tell him to stop acting like a lil bitch! There way more women out there than this chick and he might find one he can keep if he becomes a whole man before he seeks love again. He should just fuck for a while until he can do just that...

JS + XES

iTrader: (1)

ditch the girl