AS3.0CL

ok so here's the deal. lately i've been getting in a little bit of trouble with my parents because of me not having a job and that i am always out ditching my brother and other things. yesterday my gf brings up that she believes that she is the problem because my parents don't like her. which isn't the case my parents like her, they really do. no matter how many times i try to tell her that it just doesn't go through. i want her to come over today since i have a pool and just hang out but she's doesn't want to because she believes she's the problem and my parents don't like her. that she also wants to take a break for a week and let everything die down which to me is stupid because no matter what, these problems will still occure now or later.

i'm asking both the guys and the girls here to give me thier opinion of what i can do to tell her that she is not the problem and get it through her head because nothing works. everyone i try to get to talk to her tells her she is not the problem but she still insists on it. i don't know what to do.

iTimmy

Get a job so your parents aren't on your ass- problem solved for everyone.

AS3.0CL

working on that, second problem is her not getting over it.

kensteele

"Working?" ....

j/k

If your g/f is 17, I don't think you'll be able to convince her that your parents don't hate her useless she spends a lot of time with your family.

AS3.0CL

yea i used it as a pun. lol. but yea she has spent time with my parents. i dunno she's strong headed but anyways she sort of out of the it's my fault thing but now she still want a FUCKING BREAK FOR A WEEK. it won't do any good though just so i can get on my parents good side. so a week from now the same shit will happen no matter what. argh sometimes i wish i could read minds.

moeronn

What does she plan on doing during this week break?

Hope I'm wrong, but it kind of sounds like she wants a break for reasons other than you or her not getting along with your parents. Has she been hanging with any other guys recently?

PsychoInDenial

really a week isn't that long... but then again in high school years it might be different.. oh btw get a job too while you're at it. You have to actively look for one and start asking around, and don't be too picky either.

AS3.0CL

well it isn't really but it is kind of strange. but the whole thing with the week is so i don't get in trouble which is rediculouse to me but she says it is for her to have time to herself. and about other guys, yes she alot of guy friends one of whom i don't personally like but umm i drove him away, oh hell no does he ask my girl out everynight. and if she is with another guy she always tell me but she's not like out with another guy when i'm not around everynight, its more like once in a blue moon. i do put trust in her i really do but yea being with other guys does sketch me out a little. and if that happened that guy will be dead.

about the job in no way in hell am i going to be picky, i just need something right now but i'm still gonna keep looking for something better.

Xenogen

Dude, dont be that guy...I hate guys that are like that with their women. You might say you "trust" her, but deep down...I think you dont.

AS3.0CL

ok so i'm pissed. i just gave her her break. i dunno anymore. she syas she doesn't want to break up. she wants to go hang out with her friends. well this means i won't hear from her until she feels like she wants to be back together with me. well her firends yea many of them are guys and yea do i get a little upset when she goes out with another guy, yea i do but i trust her, i fucking worry about her. her claim is that this will bring us closer. right now i feel like a piece of shit. and one of her friend, mind you is in college and is 20 and i really don't like him. not to mention i have not met these guys before. i dunno please give me your input i really need it. this fucking sucks i dunno what i'm gonna do.

afici0nad0

she's saying all this stuff b/c she's lost interest in you.

she needs a reason to break up, this is her game. she's waiting for you to say, "ya, maybe it would be better if we took some time apart so that i can sort this out with my family."

she in college. it's a meat market, and it's all fair game.

it's cool though, you'll get your turn.

nicholbr

is this because he's better looking then you, fucks college/high school chicks all day long and probably has a job?


honestly dude, you are young and if this girl is going to give you the runaround then fuck it. theres plenty of time/vagina out there for you to do your thing. let her have her break, if she comes back disease free then enjoy your time with her. if she keeps fucking with you then ditch the bitch and move on. its the only way.

AS3.0CL

yes exactly, i'm gonna let her have her break and let her get it all out. but when she calls me i'm gonna lay into her of how she hurt me whcih she knows that she has hurt me a bit but she doesn't know how much. it just pisses me off. i don't think that she's gonna go off and screw these kids but i don't trust that these kids won't try something which some of them are complete sleeze bags becuase i have been around them. and i'm gonna tell i don't like to be fucked with. the next time she wants a break its for good or there isn't gonna be one.

iTimmy

Come on man, I know your young but don't fall for her trap. If/when she calls act like you've just had the best week of your life and you didn't even notice she was gone. She'll be a lot more interested in spending time with you then if you lay into her about how she hurt you. She'll wonder why you didn't miss her and what you've been up to. Being mysterious and busy is far more attractive then sitting at home hating everything/everyone.

Oh and if she calls keep the call short, and cut it off, even if you have nothing to do. Woman can say all the shit they want but they want the asshole, be that asshole.

Xenogen

Good Advice and come on man...you're 17 and shes 20 what did you really think was gonna happen.

thatguy

wtf does everyone hate me for????

Anyways, don't sweat it too much. Listen to Tireguy, and make sure you have as much fun as possible that week. The break isnt only for her, it's for you too!!!!

youngTL

Whoa whoa WHOA!
Like Xenogen said, don't let on that you missed her. And under no circumstances are you to be possessive. If you're not trusting her enough (and she gives you reason not to trust her) then she is NOT WORTH BEING WITH in long run!
First she hurts your dick...that was an accident.
Then she pulls this crap...that was on purpose. So what if the guys she hangs out with are complete sleaze bags? It's NOT their fault if she sleeps with them. It's HERS, for not turning them down. If she's so weak-minded and doesn't care about your relationship enough to cheat on you, then she isn't worth it. very fast! When this break is over, TALK to her!!

And UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to get angry!
Take it easy. Decide what's best for you. There's always someone else. You're young, and I'm guessing you aren't ugly as sin, so it should be easy for you to find another girl worth your time and effort. Girls seem to get this idea in their heads that just because they are attractive, they can jerk guys around and get away with it. They can get REALLY arrogant! Some of them even think they can make me switch teams! If, when she comes back, you find out that her heart isn't really in this relationship, it's time to say goodbye to her, whether she begs or not. Then go find another girl, as fast as you can.

A good way to judge if she really does care is does SHE ever do anything for YOU (besides sex). Like does she buy you things sometimes, or go out of her way to come up with really clever/romantic gifts for special occasions, truly care about when you're not feeling good...you get the idea.

bmoreTLS

might as well see what happens when you blow her off. you're too young to stress over this chick, much more sand at the beach.

AS3.0CL

ok first off we are both the same age, some of her guy friends are older then her one is 19. i have taken all of your advice and i willl use it. but yesterday i went over my friends house and i logged onto his AIM under his SN and he was talking with her while is was in the room. she said that she doesn't want to break up at all, that sometimes she feals tied down which to me is complete bullshit because if she wants to go out then go, just tell me who your with and where your going and i'll be fine. but she also said that she thinks she hurt me which is completely true and that she didn't want to hurt me. i'm thinking of just letting her get this out of her system.

i am gonna act like a complete asshole. because lately one of her other friends who is 18 who she works with who i sort of know, the kid broke up with his gf and now is asking my gf to do things with him, i'm like hell no and i'm gonna ask her who is your bf: me or him. me and her agreeed on an open relationship, like speak our mind to each other and hold nothing in, well obviousely i tell her if i'm madd and i speak my mind and she hasn't done the same lately and this break is a big ass excuse.

when she does call i'm gonna be an asshole and tell her whats on my mind but also i'm gonna be like i had more fun without you now and i have to go and you think about what you have done to me and this relationship. she thinks that this break will bring us closer, right now i feel torn apart from her. what i also hate is that she's gonna call me when she feels ready to see me, well i will talk to her but afterwards i'm gonna say that now i'm gonna call you when i feel ready to see you and see how she likes it.well this break is only expected to last a week at most which i will get a call friday, i almost gaurantee it. well just have to see where it goes.

iTimmy

ok since you don't seem to get it, I'll try to say this as simply and bluntly as I can. DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL AND TELL HER WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND. Be laid back and cool, your a man deal with your emotions, they are not her problem or responsiblity. There's a difference a huge between being an asshole and being a whiney bitch, by complaining to her, your being the later. Woman do not want to deal with a guy who is giving them a hard time about anything, in particular if you just had the best week of your life. Be as ambiguous as possible with what you did.

AS3.0CL

well about an hour or so ago i did end up talking to her on the net. she wanted to know what i felt and mind you, me and her both agreed on an open relationship and we would talk through it. after having said that i told her whats on my mind because she wanted to know and would give up so i did and frankly she got pissed. she's like you don't trust me or my friends, well how can i when one of your friends lost his gf recently and is asking you to do things with him. i'm like all i want is for you to just tell me whats going on, i'd rather know then be left in the dark hence this break. well you know what i'm over it. i'm gonna see what happens after we get back together since she really doesn't want to break up, and if this shit still keeps happening, i'm gonna screw her one last time and be like this is not working out, and move on because i really don't need this type of bullshit.

as much as they want to know whats on your mind they really don't want to hear it, because they don't want to deal with it even though they seem like they want to help. why does everything have to be done thier way of what they want to do. i've been cheated on before so it's hard for me to see her go out with another guy friend and i told her that and she understands, the thing she doesn't get is that me being in the dark is worse then me knowing, which sucks. well i'm not gonna say shit to her when she does call nor do i want to talk to her right now. let her do her thing and get out.

skewlgirl2002

Well you are still very young and yes I know it is tough, especially having a relationship at that age. It is a good idea for your girlfriend to spend time with your family, like family BBQ's and maybe a family beach get together. But if she wants to take a break, it depends on what kind of break it is. Is it a break from seeing each other for a week or is it a complete separation (i.e. no calling or talking, nothing). If that was the case I would say "If it does not work out the first time, it won't work the second time". I have learned that the hard way. I'm not much older, but I've had my fair share of relationships and I've learned to not give people a second chance. If they know they dont have the comfort of taking "a break" in a relationship with me, they won't do it. Yes everyone needs their space and time to do their own thing, but if they want a realtionship with me, they should be able to balance something out to where they feel comfortable. If they cannot balance their life out, they should not be in a relationship and maybe a little too young to have one. Think about it sweetie, you're young. And yes get a job, make some new friends and get your mind off of this GIRL. One day you will meet a real WOMAN and look back. Trust me, I'm dealing with something different, but similar in a way. Take care!!!

youngTL

Good. Standing up for yourself is what this is all about. The people that are the happiest seem to be the ones that put themselves first (but not at too much cost to others). So yeah, don't feel guilty for putting yourself at number 1. Unless of course you have Mother Teresa mentality that makes you feel good by putting yourself last (I highly doubt it).

AS3.0CL

exactly a break where there is no talking only on the net maybe everyonce in a while. but right now it isn't working for me. and if she does bring it up next time them it's a break for good or no break at all. ok go and hang out with your frineds just don't shut me out of your life for a week. to me it's bullshit. but to her this coupls she knows been together for 4 years anf they have done it. well to me that means shit, it only works if it's mutual and right now it isn't

youngtl
u always have good advice, and thats exactly what i'm gonna do. tonight i'm going to hang out with my friends go out and do something, pick up some girls and then i'm gonna hang out with theses girls because thier "friends" and i want to see her reaction is because i haven't done this to her yet. jsu thave to see what happens. thank for the advice. i want it to work. i'll keep u guys updated.

mfkitson

you are 17, move on

Xenogen

Dude you're being way too possesive...chicks dont like that, and I KNOW you wont be fine...

And now you're being insecure

We told you NOT to do this

You're acting like a women now

Dont talk to her....have her call a couple of times...it will make her wonder what you were doing and then you can say that you were out...thats it no details.

DO NOT BE A PUSSYWHIPPED BITCH

Xenogen

Sounds like an offer to me

Xenogen

Dude....I just read everything else that you wrote....DITCH THE BITCH....you're stressing WAY too much about this chick...and you're only 20. When you do break up with her...dont let her down easy...just give her alot of shit...tell her shes dead to you, and leave.

PsychoInDenial

Hey Xeno, one clarification, he's only 17, and this is the same chick that hurt him during sex. But yeah, IMO this chick definately isn't worth the drama.

That and you have to kind of wonder what 20 year old (refering to her friends) wants to sleep with a 17 year old. That's just asking for prison time.

JimmyCarter

He's only 17, which just makes this even more true

Edit:

Xenogen

Now Im confused because he said she was 20 and they were the same age.

PsychoInDenial

He said her friends were 20...

Xenogen

OK I re read it and you guys were right....Reading>Me

youngTL

I could sleep with a 17 year old. The legal age in Canada is 14
Or 12 if your partner is between the ages of 12 and 14

Xenogen

I hope you just looked that up.

dallison

youngTL

Yeah I did.

PsychoInDenial

wow, canada's gov't is run by whores!

iTimmy

, and

Xeno and I don't always see eye to eye when it comes to dealing with relationships, but in this case I don't think I could have said it better myself.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on. You clearly learned what not to say and what not to do- or at least I hope you did. Do you really think this 17 year old girl is the one? Your young, enjoy yourself and if others want to be around while your enjoying yourself then great, if not, a wise man once said "fuck'em".

iTimmy

Your looking rather young today(reffering to your avatar), but for some reason you would be legal in Canada, eh.