Ode to The Nice Guys
06-27-2004, 05:20 PM
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Ode to The Nice Guys
Found this pretty interesting. Definitly can relate here.
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
06-27-2004, 05:53 PM
#3
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Originally Posted by ding069
Very nice find and its so true. I can relate to it. BTW, where did you find the orig verson of this at online, post up a link for me.
06-27-2004, 05:58 PM
#4
acura-cl.com OG
06-27-2004, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by ding069
06-27-2004, 06:57 PM
#7
I don't know what is worse: the fact that it is all so damn true, or the fact that if you change the word "nice guy" to my name, it would be the story of my life. Oh well. Se la vi (or however the hell you spell that).
Trending Topics
06-27-2004, 08:46 PM
#12
acura-cl.com OG
Originally Posted by cor
^^ so true.
An Ode to me!
It seems like we have a bunch of them here. Rep points for all
06-27-2004, 09:10 PM
#17
acura-cl.com OG
Originally Posted by Minch00
NO, it's only the nice guys who come to this section of the site.......
Yeah minch your right! The assholes don't care about relationships:P
06-27-2004, 10:56 PM
#19
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seriously, i really need to learn how to be a jackass
i've heard it so many times, "ivan, you're a nice guy. you've given me hope that there are nice guys out there"...
i'm like WTF... so i kicked her off my bed
j/k my dumbass said thanks
i've heard it so many times, "ivan, you're a nice guy. you've given me hope that there are nice guys out there"...
i'm like WTF... so i kicked her off my bed
j/k my dumbass said thanks
06-28-2004, 12:54 AM
#20
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Originally Posted by Minch00
NO, it's only the nice guys who come to this section of the site.......
true...and the chicks who are predisposed to caring about shit oh and punisher to share all his crazy ass sex stories.
06-28-2004, 01:11 AM
#21
EVO IX MR
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This guy runs a regular column, it is pretty interesting.
Should I Be A Nice Guy?
--------------------------------------------------
***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***
Hi David. I appreciate the service you provide to
us single (and I'm sure some not-so-single) men out
here. I am preparing to download your book as soon
as I am done with this email. About a week ago at
work, a girl that I have known for about a year now
and I were talking about things to do in the city.
She suggested that we should maybe hang out sometime,
and all I said was "I don't think you could handle this
" -- and boom -- she was hooked! I was totally
amazed first of all that I said anything like that,
and second that it really worked!
Now my question: I was at a bar the other night and
ran into a girl that I knew and somewhat hung out with
about 4 years ago and have not seen her since. She
said she was single, and told me to get my phone out
because she was going to give me her phone number.
This is a girl that I have always [wanted], and now
that I have the chance I'm starting to get cold feet.
I've set-up a lunch for this week, but I'm not sure
since we already know each other if I should still
do the cocky+funny deal or stick with (my usual) nice
guy routine?
Thanks again!
Wussy in Wichita. (LOL)
>>>MY RESPONSE<<<
Hmmmm...
You finally, for once in your life try being cocky
and funny with a girl - and she eats it up - and
then you ask if you should do it again?
Here are a couple of great formulas for you to
remember:
1) Cold Feet = Cold Other Things Below The Waist
2) The "Usual Nice Guy Routine" = See Formula #1
Let's talk about these ideas.
If you ever hear a woman say the words "He's nice"
you can pull out all the money you have on you and
bet that she's not ATTRACTED to the guy she's talking
about.
Women don't use the word "Nice" to describe men that
they're FEELING it for.
So why would you want to use the "usual nice guy
routine"? What, you want to make SURE she never feels
anything other than friendship for you?
Hmmmmm.
What you're telling me here is that you knew this
super-babe four years ago, but the "nice guy" rap
didn't make anything happen then... so you're thinking
that if you pour it on twice as thick it might work
better this time?
Hmmmmm.
Here's a good rule of thumb:
If your behavior isn't getting you the consistent
results that you'd like to get, CHANGE IT.
Do ANYTHING different.
I'm serious here.
If what you're doing isn't working, DO SOMETHING
ELSE IMMEDIATELY!
And if you've FOUND SOMETHING that works, then KEEP
DOING IT!
(Hint: In case you haven't figured it out, I think
you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)
And I don't think it's a coincidence that the words
"nice guy" translate into "ICE-NAY UY-GAY" in Pig Latin.
Read that again, because it was pretty funny.
In summary, I think you might want to stick with
the cocky+funny personality. It's working for more
than a few guys out there, and it can work for you
(as you've seen).
On a side topic...
From the way I talk, you might start to get the
idea that I'm against being nice to women.
Quite the contrary.
I think that it's great to be nice to women.
Just do it in a way that doesn't make them think
of you as a "nice guy."
Oh, that sounds interesting.
So the question is: How can I be nice without making
her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a hundred
dollars just to have one quick dig through her dresser?
I just figured out how to say this in a simple,
concise way... so listen up:
BE COCKY AND FUNNY, AND BUST HER BALLS WITH YOUR
WORDS, BUT BE NICE TO HER WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR.
Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.
So here are a few examples:
1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom, then
open all doors for her.
2) Tell her that she's too uptight and she needs to
settle down because it's annoying, then rub her shoulders.
3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then kiss
her.
Are you with me?
One of the concepts that I talk about in my book
"Double Your Dating" is ALWAYS SEND MIXED MESSAGES.
Why would you want to send mixed messages?
Because it's interesting.
Because if it's done right, it's attractive.
Because attractive women are fascinated by it when
it's mixed with a cocky/funny personality.
I hope that those reasons work for you.
Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss
up to them, buy them things, take them out, and act
"nice".
Attractive women are looking for something different.
A challenge. A spark. Sassy, cheeky, mouthy, ballsy,
witty, charming. An unpredictable, funny guy like
yourself to take her attention, and run with it.
Now, how unpredictable is "nice"? How much of a
challenge is "nice"? How much of a spark is in "nice"?
Exactly. Not much.
So, in summary: Be nice... but do it on your own
terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY AND FUNNY
COMMUNICATION.
This magical combination with keep her interest for
as long as you'd like to have it.
Remember, attractive women are different. They
know that they can have anything they want. SO DON'T
GIVE IT TO THEM... and they'll love you.
Does this sound "counter-intuitive" to you?
Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.
Remember this:
You need to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women, and you need to do those things that keep the
ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control
yourself and your emotions. It begins with you
needing to understand the history of how and why
men and women become attracted to each other. It
begins with you learning the basics of how to
use subtle body language and communication to
make women feel ATTRACTION for you.
If you'd like a great introduction to
my ideas, then you need to go and download my
online eBook "Double Your Dating". It's jam
packed with great information, and you can go
download it right now here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/emd45/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
Should I Be A Nice Guy?
--------------------------------------------------
***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***
Hi David. I appreciate the service you provide to
us single (and I'm sure some not-so-single) men out
here. I am preparing to download your book as soon
as I am done with this email. About a week ago at
work, a girl that I have known for about a year now
and I were talking about things to do in the city.
She suggested that we should maybe hang out sometime,
and all I said was "I don't think you could handle this
" -- and boom -- she was hooked! I was totally
amazed first of all that I said anything like that,
and second that it really worked!
Now my question: I was at a bar the other night and
ran into a girl that I knew and somewhat hung out with
about 4 years ago and have not seen her since. She
said she was single, and told me to get my phone out
because she was going to give me her phone number.
This is a girl that I have always [wanted], and now
that I have the chance I'm starting to get cold feet.
I've set-up a lunch for this week, but I'm not sure
since we already know each other if I should still
do the cocky+funny deal or stick with (my usual) nice
guy routine?
Thanks again!
Wussy in Wichita. (LOL)
>>>MY RESPONSE<<<
Hmmmm...
You finally, for once in your life try being cocky
and funny with a girl - and she eats it up - and
then you ask if you should do it again?
Here are a couple of great formulas for you to
remember:
1) Cold Feet = Cold Other Things Below The Waist
2) The "Usual Nice Guy Routine" = See Formula #1
Let's talk about these ideas.
If you ever hear a woman say the words "He's nice"
you can pull out all the money you have on you and
bet that she's not ATTRACTED to the guy she's talking
about.
Women don't use the word "Nice" to describe men that
they're FEELING it for.
So why would you want to use the "usual nice guy
routine"? What, you want to make SURE she never feels
anything other than friendship for you?
Hmmmmm.
What you're telling me here is that you knew this
super-babe four years ago, but the "nice guy" rap
didn't make anything happen then... so you're thinking
that if you pour it on twice as thick it might work
better this time?
Hmmmmm.
Here's a good rule of thumb:
If your behavior isn't getting you the consistent
results that you'd like to get, CHANGE IT.
Do ANYTHING different.
I'm serious here.
If what you're doing isn't working, DO SOMETHING
ELSE IMMEDIATELY!
And if you've FOUND SOMETHING that works, then KEEP
DOING IT!
(Hint: In case you haven't figured it out, I think
you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)
And I don't think it's a coincidence that the words
"nice guy" translate into "ICE-NAY UY-GAY" in Pig Latin.
Read that again, because it was pretty funny.
In summary, I think you might want to stick with
the cocky+funny personality. It's working for more
than a few guys out there, and it can work for you
(as you've seen).
On a side topic...
From the way I talk, you might start to get the
idea that I'm against being nice to women.
Quite the contrary.
I think that it's great to be nice to women.
Just do it in a way that doesn't make them think
of you as a "nice guy."
Oh, that sounds interesting.
So the question is: How can I be nice without making
her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a hundred
dollars just to have one quick dig through her dresser?
I just figured out how to say this in a simple,
concise way... so listen up:
BE COCKY AND FUNNY, AND BUST HER BALLS WITH YOUR
WORDS, BUT BE NICE TO HER WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR.
Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.
So here are a few examples:
1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom, then
open all doors for her.
2) Tell her that she's too uptight and she needs to
settle down because it's annoying, then rub her shoulders.
3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then kiss
her.
Are you with me?
One of the concepts that I talk about in my book
"Double Your Dating" is ALWAYS SEND MIXED MESSAGES.
Why would you want to send mixed messages?
Because it's interesting.
Because if it's done right, it's attractive.
Because attractive women are fascinated by it when
it's mixed with a cocky/funny personality.
I hope that those reasons work for you.
Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss
up to them, buy them things, take them out, and act
"nice".
Attractive women are looking for something different.
A challenge. A spark. Sassy, cheeky, mouthy, ballsy,
witty, charming. An unpredictable, funny guy like
yourself to take her attention, and run with it.
Now, how unpredictable is "nice"? How much of a
challenge is "nice"? How much of a spark is in "nice"?
Exactly. Not much.
So, in summary: Be nice... but do it on your own
terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY AND FUNNY
COMMUNICATION.
This magical combination with keep her interest for
as long as you'd like to have it.
Remember, attractive women are different. They
know that they can have anything they want. SO DON'T
GIVE IT TO THEM... and they'll love you.
Does this sound "counter-intuitive" to you?
Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.
Remember this:
You need to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women, and you need to do those things that keep the
ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control
yourself and your emotions. It begins with you
needing to understand the history of how and why
men and women become attracted to each other. It
begins with you learning the basics of how to
use subtle body language and communication to
make women feel ATTRACTION for you.
If you'd like a great introduction to
my ideas, then you need to go and download my
online eBook "Double Your Dating". It's jam
packed with great information, and you can go
download it right now here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/emd45/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
06-28-2004, 08:49 AM
#23
Who's the masta?!...I AM!
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Yikes I am nice but I am not THAT nice! Jeez who would allow a girl to shit all over them like that? Grow a spine and some balls.
I have done some of those things while being disillusioned about some girl at different points in my life, but I at least made sure I was returning the favor to some other chick to balance it out.
I have done some of those things while being disillusioned about some girl at different points in my life, but I at least made sure I was returning the favor to some other chick to balance it out.
06-28-2004, 10:43 AM
#24
acura-cl.com OG
Good post 2003type s. Though i have never read about or looked at dating tipes before it makes sense. I do what he says about busting balls with the girls and stuff and it works MUCH better than being nice all the time. All my "really" nice guy friends don't kid around and i am way more successful then they are. Nice post, you get some rep points
06-28-2004, 12:01 PM
#25
I Feel Too Old Here
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This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
x2
And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should.
x 3
your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world
06-28-2004, 06:40 PM
#30
drop em like its hot
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weeee.. tribute to the assholes!! 
to those impatient bastards who can't stand
and whining from girls. but these bastards also get to tap that ass later on at night :lickit:
i dono what it is, it's probably the korean in me that makes me such an ass to women.
to those impatient bastards who can't stand
and whining from girls. but these bastards also get to tap that ass later on at night :lickit:i dono what it is, it's probably the korean in me that makes me such an ass to women.
06-30-2004, 06:32 PM
#31
COME AT ME BRO!
Originally Posted by rezurex
weeee.. tribute to the assholes!!
to those impatient bastards who can't stand and whining from girls. but these bastards also get to tap that ass later on at night :lickit:
i dono what it is, it's probably the korean in me that makes me such an ass to women.
to those impatient bastards who can't stand
and whining from girls. but these bastards also get to tap that ass later on at night :lickit:i dono what it is, it's probably the korean in me that makes me such an ass to women.
lol omg thats so funny to bad im a nice guy to girls but a dick to guys.
07-01-2004, 06:35 PM
#33
Drifting
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Originally Posted by 99CL
so true, can't be nice anymore too girls, got to be an ass to get ass....
07-02-2004, 05:51 PM
#34
Suzuka Master
Let's see...
Mandatory links about nice guys: www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
In summary, when most people think they're being "nice guys" they're really just being doormats, and then expecting sex in return.
Mandatory links about nice guys: www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
In summary, when most people think they're being "nice guys" they're really just being doormats, and then expecting sex in return.
07-02-2004, 07:53 PM
#36
COME AT ME BRO!
Originally Posted by CLean B
awesome... this is inspirational... FUCK BEING NICE... its time to be a cocky piece of shit and get laid.. starting tonight
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