I think my GF and I just broke up over religious differences
11-26-2005, 10:02 AM
#1
Race Director
Thread Starter
I think my GF and I just broke up over religious differences
She's Jewish, I'm catholic. She kept bringing up the question about if we had kids which religion would they brought up with. We both didn't want to budge on whos religion they would take. So it came up again this morning and she just left my house. We didn't say it but i think it's over. Everything else is great in our relationship; should this be enough to break two people up? If not, how would you address the problem?
I thought about putting this in R&P but this seems more appropriate IMO
I thought about putting this in R&P but this seems more appropriate IMO
11-26-2005, 10:09 AM
#2
teh Senior Instigator
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For some. this can be a very important issue. Adrienne and I have battled it for sometime, she want's to raise our kids catholic, I don't want to force any kind of religion on them. I think I'll end up sending them to sunday school, etc and teaching them lifes morals. But I doubt i'll ever speak to them about "God" and what is right about God and what isn't.
11-26-2005, 10:16 AM
#3
I shoot people
one of my clients, who's like a "mother figure" to me... (well, at least... when it comes to dating), told me that a lot people don't bring the religion thing til later in their relationship... but with her own experience AND from just knowing a lot of couples in her life time... the religion "thing" almost always comes up and becomes an issue at one point or another... some couples figure it out, some don't
11-26-2005, 10:19 AM
#4
Race Director
Thread Starter
^^ yeah i guess she thought it was best to address earlier since it could be a deal breaker type of thing. this just feels wierd. never broken up with someone when there was no personality conflict or something. we had a great night last night.
11-26-2005, 10:23 AM
#5
I shoot people
Originally Posted by zeroday
^^ yeah i guess she thought it was best to address earlier since it could be a deal breaker type of thing. this just feels wierd. never broken up with someone when there was no personality conflict or something. we had a great night last night.
11-26-2005, 10:38 AM
#6
Suzuka Master
to me, I think the child should be brought uop in the religion where one partner is more active in. If she attends service and you do not, then the child should follow her religion.
my 2 centavos!!
my 2 centavos!!
11-26-2005, 11:23 AM
#7
Originally Posted by zeroday
She's Jewish, I'm catholic. She kept bringing up the question about if we had kids which religion would they brought up with.
Religion is definitely a touchy subject, but I believe it's always best to discuss things like this before marriage and definitely before any child is born. It's something too important and personal to figure out and decide once the child is already in this world.
If it's a decision that neither of you will budge on, see it as a good thing that it's being dealt with now instead of after you two were married or faced with the situation head-on.
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11-26-2005, 11:34 AM
#8
Go Giants
Im a Jew and my wife isn't. SS is correct, in the Jewish religion, technically the child is the mothers religion. I solved my issue by becoming agnostic.
11-26-2005, 11:59 AM
#11
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Originally Posted by zeroday
She's Jewish, I'm catholic. She kept bringing up the question about if we had kids which religion would they brought up with. We both didn't want to budge on whos religion they would take. So it came up again this morning and she just left my house. We didn't say it but i think it's over. Everything else is great in our relationship; should this be enough to break two people up? If not, how would you address the problem?
I thought about putting this in R&P but this seems more appropriate IMO
I thought about putting this in R&P but this seems more appropriate IMO
A lot of the differences between minor variations between selected denominations can be overcome by careful selection of a "neutral" church - a Methodist and an Episcopaelian attending a Congregational church. But - the leap between theologies in relation to the divinity of the big guy from Nazereth is asking a lot.....
I had an engagement break off because I am Unitarian and the young woman in question was a high-church Episcopaelian...... we broke up over the arrangements for the weddning, let alone the issues of what the children would be raised.
I ended up marrying an Episcopaelian who has since converted to Quaker (Society of Friends). We were married in a Unitarian church by a minister from the UCC, who provided the homily without referencing the divinity of the nice carpenter guy.
11-26-2005, 01:20 PM
#12
GEEZER
Chaulk up another point for Religion.
11-26-2005, 01:24 PM
#14
dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ
Jews are a pain in the ass, I should know because I am one. You would not believe the doors that are opened for you simply by being jewish, kind of weird.
11-26-2005, 01:29 PM
#15
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Just because it's jewish law, why does it have to be followed ?
Driving with your seatbelt on is a law, but it is broken. Who will really know ?
I'm sure most will see my point here, but I'm not going to argue.
Here's the kicker, I was raised Catholic (mom is catholic), but because religion was forced upon me, I don't attend church very often or am involved in any catholic functions. However, I wouldn't want to be any other religion.
Driving with your seatbelt on is a law, but it is broken. Who will really know ?
I'm sure most will see my point here, but I'm not going to argue.
Here's the kicker, I was raised Catholic (mom is catholic), but because religion was forced upon me, I don't attend church very often or am involved in any catholic functions. However, I wouldn't want to be any other religion.
11-26-2005, 01:35 PM
#16
Where is my super sauce?
Religion issues often go beyond the actual religion and extend to issues of the way we're brought up and the way we expect to our offspring to be brought up. It affects the way we view the world. If there isn't a common ground, then there can be conflict.
If religion is important for her, better for both you and her to move on. IMHO... These issues become quite significant during marriage and childrearing.
If religion is important for her, better for both you and her to move on. IMHO... These issues become quite significant during marriage and childrearing.
11-26-2005, 01:37 PM
#17
I shoot people
Originally Posted by Chopper
Here's the kicker, I was raised Catholic (mom is catholic), but because religion was forced upon me, I don't attend church very often or am involved in any catholic functions. However, I wouldn't want to be any other religion.
(plus... catholic chicks are naughty
)
11-26-2005, 01:58 PM
#18
Old fart
Sorry to hear...
My gf is Catholic and I'm ~agnostic... We've allready talked about it briefly, but if we do marry I've decided to let the kids be raised Catholic if she so wishes. It really doesn't bother me much, as long as the kids don't follow it blindly.
Actually didnt' know about the whole religion goes with the mother thing too. Interesting new fact for me.
My gf is Catholic and I'm ~agnostic... We've allready talked about it briefly, but if we do marry I've decided to let the kids be raised Catholic if she so wishes. It really doesn't bother me much, as long as the kids don't follow it blindly.
Actually didnt' know about the whole religion goes with the mother thing too. Interesting new fact for me.
11-26-2005, 02:03 PM
#19
I shoot people
Originally Posted by TSX 'R' US
Actually didnt' know about the whole religion goes with the mother thing too. Interesting new fact for me.
...well, I believe that's only with the Jew's...
11-26-2005, 04:24 PM
#22
Me and my girl are the same damn religion but I don't practice (don't go to church and don't like religion that much) I just follow the rules of being good and believing in God. She was upset about this and I was like WTF?! Are you serious? I have gotten this alot since Jamaicans tend to take religion REAAAAALLLLYYYYY serious.
Meh she got over it though but seriously I enjoy the company of Jews and Athiest cause neither of them care what you do with your religion (that is unless you date them I guess)
Meh she got over it though but seriously I enjoy the company of Jews and Athiest cause neither of them care what you do with your religion (that is unless you date them I guess)
11-26-2005, 06:26 PM
#24
Crabcakes and Football!!!
Originally Posted by Chopper
Here's the kicker, I was raised Catholic (mom is catholic), but because religion was forced upon me, I don't attend church very often or am involved in any catholic functions. However, I wouldn't want to be any other religion.
i was raised catholic and while i dont really practice catholisism (sp) i still wish to be married in the catholic church, etc 
just seems rightis it possible to teach the children both religions and allow them to choose if they choose to at all? thats what my uncle and his wife did with their children
11-26-2005, 06:46 PM
#25
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luckily me and my girl are both jewish.
I was with a cathoic girl once, and the subject came up. I said I know technically the religion of the mother is taken, but I would like my children to grow up jewish (even though I practice about much as an atheist.)
But I also said (and believe) that the child should be exposed to both religions and allowed to make their own choice when they are old enough. And if that choice included neither, then so be it.
forcing religion on anyone justs drives them further from it.
I was with a cathoic girl once, and the subject came up. I said I know technically the religion of the mother is taken, but I would like my children to grow up jewish (even though I practice about much as an atheist.)
But I also said (and believe) that the child should be exposed to both religions and allowed to make their own choice when they are old enough. And if that choice included neither, then so be it.
forcing religion on anyone justs drives them further from it.
11-26-2005, 07:35 PM
#26
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Originally Posted by The Sarlacc
luckily me and my girl are both jewish.
I was with a cathoic girl once, and the subject came up. I said I know technically the religion of the mother is taken, but I would like my children to grow up jewish (even though I practice about much as an atheist.)
But I also said (and believe) that the child should be exposed to both religions and allowed to make their own choice when they are old enough. And if that choice included neither, then so be it.
forcing religion on anyone justs drives them further from it.
I was with a cathoic girl once, and the subject came up. I said I know technically the religion of the mother is taken, but I would like my children to grow up jewish (even though I practice about much as an atheist.)
But I also said (and believe) that the child should be exposed to both religions and allowed to make their own choice when they are old enough. And if that choice included neither, then so be it.
forcing religion on anyone justs drives them further from it.
11-26-2005, 08:49 PM
#27
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Can't you compromise? Are you real religious? Do you regularly attend church? If not, raise the kids Jewish. However, since obviously you celebrate Christmas, your kids would too. Once they're old enough to know what's best for them they can always choose to become Catholic.
11-26-2005, 08:58 PM
#28
I shoot people
Originally Posted by mrsteve
Can't you compromise? Are you real religious? Do you regularly attend church? If not, raise the kids Jewish. However, since obviously you celebrate Christmas, your kids would too. Once they're old enough to know what's best for them they can always choose to become Catholic.
still gets complicated though... it's like... this time of the year.... is it Christmas or Hanukah? Or both? (on that note, I've always thought it was cool about getting multi gifts for the days of Hanukah... )
11-26-2005, 08:59 PM
#29
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Originally Posted by is300eater
still gets complicated though... it's like... this time of the year.... is it Christmas or Hanukah? Or both? (on that note, I've always thought it was cool about getting multi gifts for the days of Hanukah... )
11-26-2005, 09:00 PM
#30
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I know many Jewish people that celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. Christmas has become a VERY secular holiday (unfortunately IMO) and more and more non-Christians are celebrating it each year.
11-26-2005, 09:01 PM
#31
Go Giants
Originally Posted by mrsteve
I know many Jewish people that celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. Christmas has become a VERY secular holiday (unfortunately IMO) and more and more non-Christians are celebrating it each year.
11-26-2005, 09:03 PM
#32
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Originally Posted by Whiskers
I celebrate the gifts.....
However, obviously the differences between the two religions are much deeper than which Holiday you celebrate in December.
11-26-2005, 09:15 PM
#33
Senior Moderator
I agree with Mrsteve.
Since my brother had kids, we been celebrating christmas also. When i was younger, my parents did also and they are FOBs.
Maybe convert? I know its asking a lot but if i remember you told us you were in love with this girl right from the start. I say compromise somewhere and fight the good fight!
Since my brother had kids, we been celebrating christmas also. When i was younger, my parents did also and they are FOBs.
Maybe convert? I know its asking a lot but if i remember you told us you were in love with this girl right from the start. I say compromise somewhere and fight the good fight!
11-26-2005, 09:21 PM
#34
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by 1killercls
Chaulk up another point for Religion.
Im not very religious... guess i am more for my parents. Basicly for all the wrong reasons. Sad really.
11-26-2005, 09:29 PM
#35
Interesting. Interesting.
My wife went to Catholic school when she was younger, but she has never been very religious and is not religious now.
I was never religious. I was baptized in a Catholic church, and that's about it. In fact, having never been confirmed, I had to lie to the priest that married us because the church required that I had my confirmation.
I was never religious. I was baptized in a Catholic church, and that's about it. In fact, having never been confirmed, I had to lie to the priest that married us because the church required that I had my confirmation.
11-26-2005, 09:44 PM
#36
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Originally Posted by Michiraces2much
i was raised catholic and while i dont really practice catholisism (sp) i still wish to be married in the catholic church, etc just seems right
11-26-2005, 09:50 PM
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Originally Posted by 98CLChick
I agree with you on that. I was raised Catholic (school, baptism, communion, confirmation, etc), and I want to be married in a Catholic church. I'm not as religiously active as I was when I was younger, and I don't believe in everything the Catholic church teaches, but I wouldn't consider being another religion.
x 100
11-26-2005, 10:16 PM
#40
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by Crazy Sellout
I agree with Mrsteve.
Since my brother had kids, we been celebrating christmas also. When i was younger, my parents did also and they are FOBs.
Since my brother had kids, we been celebrating christmas also. When i was younger, my parents did also and they are FOBs.
