I Hate Things Like This
12-24-2008, 01:03 AM
#1
Evil Mazda Driver
Thread Starter
I Hate Things Like This
There is this girl who lives in my neighborhood and whom I've known since I was 12 years old. Ever since I met her I found her absolutely beautiful and now that she's older, she's even more so. She's also smart and witty and what a body! 
At any rate, I asked her out two or three times (probably not the most convenient times for her) but each time I've been shot down. Over a year ago, I vowed I wouldn't do it again. I know when to catch the hint that somebody isn't interested. But today I was in a book store waiting for the dealer to finish up on my car and I was browsing through the history section. I saw this younger girl (around 14 or 15) just staring at me. At first I ignored it because I was looking for something specific in this section. But then I looked back and as it turns out, it was the girl I like and her younger sister (who had recognized me and was staring at me, trying to get my attention). They were both Christmas shopping so I said hello and she smiled and returned the greeting. We exchanged trivial stuff and both went on our separate ways.
It was at that moment that I was truly reminded of why I was attracted to her in the first place. But at the same time, it broke my heart because I know how it will end if I ask her out again.
Love sucks...end rant. Thanks.
At any rate, I asked her out two or three times (probably not the most convenient times for her) but each time I've been shot down. Over a year ago, I vowed I wouldn't do it again. I know when to catch the hint that somebody isn't interested. But today I was in a book store waiting for the dealer to finish up on my car and I was browsing through the history section. I saw this younger girl (around 14 or 15) just staring at me. At first I ignored it because I was looking for something specific in this section. But then I looked back and as it turns out, it was the girl I like and her younger sister (who had recognized me and was staring at me, trying to get my attention). They were both Christmas shopping so I said hello and she smiled and returned the greeting. We exchanged trivial stuff and both went on our separate ways.
It was at that moment that I was truly reminded of why I was attracted to her in the first place. But at the same time, it broke my heart because I know how it will end if I ask her out again.
Love sucks...end rant. Thanks.
12-24-2008, 01:04 AM
#2
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Give it another shot, she'll possibly say no. She might say yes. Until you ask its a definite no 
12-24-2008, 08:13 AM
#7
Go Giants
^^werd...
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12-24-2008, 09:29 AM
#11
Above n Beyond
OP, give up. Maybe fap to her pics or something if you cant let go but move on. Girls will start to think you're a stalker and once that sinks in, you definately dont have a shot.
12-24-2008, 09:23 PM
#18
Make a hole, coming thru!
Ask her again, nicely, sincerely, without drama. If you like her more than just lust for her, and you're honest, she'll either...
As to the little sister ... she might really like you. And you might end up liking her. Her sister has known you a while, so you're not a "dark horse."
Example. I was dating a girl in Mobile, Ellen, about 22-23. Her little sister, Nicky (17-18), was taken to the state fair by Ellen's old school chum, Ben, (her age) as a nice gesture, and they had such a good time, the little sister came home singing and dancing and lalalaing all over the house, on cloud nine. Ellen and I did a classic comedic double-take. Fast forward a few weeks, they're going steady; fast forward a few years, they're married and expecting their first child. Love is blind.
When I was in college, the film school dept's secretary's 16 yo daughter had an enormous crush on me. Some friends arranged a double-date. It was a really nice evening. No, I didn't do anything ungentlemanly. The nice thing of her being younger was that I could easily just be a gentleman, with no expectations other than that.
So ... if the younger sister wasn't just staring to get your attention ... who knows, something could blossom, and no one's in a hurry. Keep an open mind. At my age, 7 years difference is trivial. In fact, my current gf is about 11 years younger.
- Like this, and respond
- Not be into honesty, and decline again
- or be too dense to get it, in which case you might not want to proceed anyway. (Pretty, dumb girls are like buses, there's always another one coming along every five minutes.)
As to the little sister ... she might really like you. And you might end up liking her. Her sister has known you a while, so you're not a "dark horse."
Example. I was dating a girl in Mobile, Ellen, about 22-23. Her little sister, Nicky (17-18), was taken to the state fair by Ellen's old school chum, Ben, (her age) as a nice gesture, and they had such a good time, the little sister came home singing and dancing and lalalaing all over the house, on cloud nine. Ellen and I did a classic comedic double-take. Fast forward a few weeks, they're going steady; fast forward a few years, they're married and expecting their first child. Love is blind.
When I was in college, the film school dept's secretary's 16 yo daughter had an enormous crush on me. Some friends arranged a double-date. It was a really nice evening. No, I didn't do anything ungentlemanly. The nice thing of her being younger was that I could easily just be a gentleman, with no expectations other than that.
So ... if the younger sister wasn't just staring to get your attention ... who knows, something could blossom, and no one's in a hurry. Keep an open mind. At my age, 7 years difference is trivial. In fact, my current gf is about 11 years younger.
12-24-2008, 09:27 PM
#19
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
OP...maybe it's just nervousness on her part, maybe you aren't smooth enough, or maybe you just don't do it for her...but stop asking...trust me - you have fulfilled the amount of times necessary for F-A-I-L!!
12-24-2008, 09:40 PM
#20
There is this girl who lives in my neighborhood and whom I've known since I was 12 years old. Ever since I met her I found her absolutely beautiful and now that she's older, she's even more so. She's also smart and witty and what a body!
At any rate, I asked her out two or three times (probably not the most convenient times for her) but each time I've been shot down. Over a year ago, I vowed I wouldn't do it again. I know when to catch the hint that somebody isn't interested. But today I was in a book store waiting for the dealer to finish up on my car and I was browsing through the history section. I saw this younger girl (around 14 or 15) just staring at me. At first I ignored it because I was looking for something specific in this section. But then I looked back and as it turns out, it was the girl I like and her younger sister (who had recognized me and was staring at me, trying to get my attention). They were both Christmas shopping so I said hello and she smiled and returned the greeting. We exchanged trivial stuff and both went on our separate ways.
It was at that moment that I was truly reminded of why I was attracted to her in the first place. But at the same time, it broke my heart because I know how it will end if I ask her out again.
Love sucks...end rant. Thanks.
At any rate, I asked her out two or three times (probably not the most convenient times for her) but each time I've been shot down. Over a year ago, I vowed I wouldn't do it again. I know when to catch the hint that somebody isn't interested. But today I was in a book store waiting for the dealer to finish up on my car and I was browsing through the history section. I saw this younger girl (around 14 or 15) just staring at me. At first I ignored it because I was looking for something specific in this section. But then I looked back and as it turns out, it was the girl I like and her younger sister (who had recognized me and was staring at me, trying to get my attention). They were both Christmas shopping so I said hello and she smiled and returned the greeting. We exchanged trivial stuff and both went on our separate ways.
It was at that moment that I was truly reminded of why I was attracted to her in the first place. But at the same time, it broke my heart because I know how it will end if I ask her out again.
Love sucks...end rant. Thanks.
12-24-2008, 09:43 PM
#21
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
"When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years. "
12-24-2008, 10:32 PM
#24
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
12-25-2008, 01:07 AM
#25
Evil Mazda Driver
Thread Starter
I suppose it's worth mentioning that the three times I asked her out were spaced about a year apart. I have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to girls which probably explains why I've never had a GF.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
12-25-2008, 04:21 AM
#28
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
I suppose it's worth mentioning that the three times I asked her out were spaced about a year apart. I have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to girls which probably explains why I've never had a GF.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
You have given power to the female populace at large when you start saying stuff like that. "Being the man" is not a status that is handed out to you or that you get in line for. It's something that's felt. It's a byproduct of your confidence and a status that YOU give yourself inside, and subsequently earn with women as they view you.
Self-esteem will be built thru confidence, confidence thru trial and errors of initiating contact with women, and contact with women will eventually bring conquests! In short, just start talking to women. Mentally, put them on your level. Start with women that you deem inferior at this point. Then move up to ones that you think are on your level. Crash and burn will occur, but you will take away something with each one. You will know what not to do the next time. Try different methods and you will see what I mean. Want to know how to deal with women? Ask them. You want to know about your car you ask a mechanic right? Well...same thing...get the knowledge, build the confidence, and then get the girl...
This woman views you as a "lesser" being because you exude that. Women can look at your body language and the way you present yourself to them and decide within moments whether they want to take a chance on you. Give them a reason to take a chance on you. Not this one that you mentioned, she knows you for the you that you are now. No, after you build your confidence, that snooty bitch will see you as successful and may make a move on you. Maybe not, but fuck her, she won't be worth the effort later and there are much hotter chicks to conquer than the girl next door!
In fact, you have to start thinking like that. That women want you, and why shouldn't they. This may sound like something that will only happen on a movie, but I guarantee you that thru failure, you will ultimately prove to be successful! Everytime you talk to a woman, it will make it easier to talk to the next one. Women like to be talked to, so go talk to them. Now, don't waste all of the "learning curve" on the hot ones and have only the subpar ones to choose from! Hahahaha...that's why I said start with the subpar ones, gain knowledge and self-esteem, and then go thru some crash and burn with the ones on your level, and then attack the hot list!
Attitude will only take you so far, you must also look the part. Your present image is probably a reflection of how you feel inside and view yourself. When you step your game up, step your "flame" up as well. Become hot inside and out. Or, as hot as you can be. You can't build a stone house out of wood. Be you, just be a strong-willed and confident you, and dress for the attitude adjustment.
You are guaranteed to get women...or your money back champ!
Go get 'em! Remember: Don't be afraid of them or failure. Talk to them, learn, date them and then start fucking them. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THE FIRST GIRL WHO THINKS YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!! She is just a step in the right direction, I don't care how hot she is - don't fall in love with her ass! Act like you deserve to be wanted...
Peace2fingaz!
12-25-2008, 04:54 AM
#29
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^^^^ Well said.
If you think negative, then nothing will change. You have to have a good attitude about it. Forget about this chick for now. The best way to get a girl is to already have a girl. If this chick see's you with another girl it's going to kill her, and I guarantee she will be talking to you in no time.
I hung out with this chick for about a week, and then her ex came into the picture. Since she was with him for 2 years she felt she should go back and try to salvage the relationship as I was just a reboud. She admitted that she really liked me and was probably making a mistake. She must have thought I'd be devastated (it sucked) but I wasnt', and I didn't show her any emotion. Told her I understood, and that I wished her the best of luck. If she wanted to ever get in touch again she had my number.
Well, in about 3 weeks time I ended up hanging out with a girl she worked with. She was friends with a mutual friend of the first girl. Once she found out about this she lost her mind. Started treating her b/f like shit, asking friends all kinds of questions. Well to make a long story short about 2 weeks later I was banging her out in her apartment when she insisted I come over to talk to her about things.
Good luck and Merry Christmas
If you think negative, then nothing will change. You have to have a good attitude about it. Forget about this chick for now. The best way to get a girl is to already have a girl. If this chick see's you with another girl it's going to kill her, and I guarantee she will be talking to you in no time.
I hung out with this chick for about a week, and then her ex came into the picture. Since she was with him for 2 years she felt she should go back and try to salvage the relationship as I was just a reboud. She admitted that she really liked me and was probably making a mistake. She must have thought I'd be devastated (it sucked) but I wasnt', and I didn't show her any emotion. Told her I understood, and that I wished her the best of luck. If she wanted to ever get in touch again she had my number.
Well, in about 3 weeks time I ended up hanging out with a girl she worked with. She was friends with a mutual friend of the first girl. Once she found out about this she lost her mind. Started treating her b/f like shit, asking friends all kinds of questions. Well to make a long story short about 2 weeks later I was banging her out in her apartment when she insisted I come over to talk to her about things.
Good luck and Merry Christmas
12-25-2008, 10:58 AM
#30
Make a hole, coming thru!
I was shy once, too. I had to get over thinking that I had to hide something or act differently (the James Bond syndrome) for a girl to be attracted to me. Time and experience told me otherwise, I have innate qualities (like most men who don't
claim to pound girls then kick them to the curb) that some women respond to, and others don't. There's a LOT of women out there. The one you're fixated on may or may not be one of those who just can't help liking you. Give her an honest try, and if she's not one of the lucky ones who like you, move on to finding one who does.
Rent ROXANNE this weekend and really watch it. It's a classic tale -- the man who loves a woman and presumes that she won't return his feelings because of his physical nature ... and another who loves the woman, but doesn't think she'll like him unless he pretends to be something his isn't (smarter, better with words, more romantic). I'm talking about the original story here, Steve Martin did a wonderful spin on it. The very attractive guy who's clumsy and nervous around women, and can't be calm and relaxed with a gorgeous woman who finds him interesting. An all too common predicament, a guy who is hung up on a girl (like you are), and can't calm down knowing that the hard work is already done -- she already likes him. ... And in the end (something that's happened to me a few times), the one he really connects with is someone he wasn't even thinking about. I've had 2-3 gfs from women I knew, but didn't think were interested. All I had to do was ... ask. In 1-2 cases, I didn't even ask, I was pounced on.
So ask again. No drama, no pretense, no expectations. Not a date. Just ... coffee. (Or this season, an egg nog latte.) If she declines nicely, move on.
ChrisQ1980, that's just a sad story. A girl who can't decide what she wants is like a loose cannon on the gun deck -- rolling around, hurting and destroying. Stay away from those, PortlandRL.
12-25-2008, 12:42 PM
#31
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
Rent ROXANNE this weekend and really watch it. It's a classic tale -- the man who loves a woman and presumes that she won't return his feelings because of his physical nature ... and another who loves the woman, but doesn't think she'll like him unless he pretends to be something his isn't (smarter, better with words, more romantic).
The only way to be successful with women is about the same as any other problem. Believe in yourself and take the problem (weakness) head on. You are reluctant to approach women, so that is your first hurdle. Stop fearing them. They are human just like you. And they are looking for a strong, confident male to lead them. Whether it is animals or humans, this remains the same! In order to be a leader, you must at first feel you are capable of being one. And to be a good leader, you must know the troops! Talk to women you don't fear, about women and reasonable expectations. Some gal pals are invaluable assets when trying to learn about women. The rest you learn thru practical application. Because the girl in the movie, or the girl you get answers from, may not be like the girl you approach. So you need to apply what you learn. Do that and it will build your confidence up so that you WILL at least approach the hot girls, whether you are successful or not is another story. But you can't strike out from the dugout...
12-25-2008, 01:21 PM
#32
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[QUOTE=darksom1;10321594]OP...that is some ghey shit! A movie will teach you absolutely NOTHING about what's in front of you! Film imitates life, not the other way around!
Lmfao ur the mn kid.....u should start a "How 2 mack/Be the man" thread sir.
Lmfao ur the mn kid.....u should start a "How 2 mack/Be the man" thread sir.
12-25-2008, 03:17 PM
#33
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I guess it depends on what you are looking for. I'm not looking for a relationship, yet I'm not looking for any random whore. My expectations, taste, and morals keep getting better as time goes on.
12-25-2008, 07:50 PM
#34
I suppose it's worth mentioning that the three times I asked her out were spaced about a year apart. I have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to girls which probably explains why I've never had a GF.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
12-25-2008, 08:01 PM
#37
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12-25-2008, 08:03 PM
#38
That's as good a line as it gets. Just tell her you've always liked her and would like to take her out for coffee or lunch.
I was shy once, too. I had to get over thinking that I had to hide something or act differently (the James Bond syndrome) for a girl to be attracted to me. Time and experience told me otherwise, I have innate qualities (like most men who don't claim to pound girls then kick them to the curb) that some women respond to, and others don't.
There's a LOT of women out there. The one you're fixated on may or may not be one of those who just can't help liking you. Give her an honest try, and if she's not one of the lucky ones who like you, move on to finding one who does.
Rent ROXANNE this weekend and really watch it. It's a classic tale -- the man who loves a woman and presumes that she won't return his feelings because of his physical nature ... and another who loves the woman, but doesn't think she'll like him unless he pretends to be something his isn't (smarter, better with words, more romantic). I'm talking about the original story here, Steve Martin did a wonderful spin on it. The very attractive guy who's clumsy and nervous around women, and can't be calm and relaxed with a gorgeous woman who finds him interesting. An all too common predicament, a guy who is hung up on a girl (like you are), and can't calm down knowing that the hard work is already done -- she already likes him. ... And in the end (something that's happened to me a few times), the one he really connects with is someone he wasn't even thinking about. I've had 2-3 gfs from women I knew, but didn't think were interested. All I had to do was ... ask. In 1-2 cases, I didn't even ask, I was pounced on.
So ask again. No drama, no pretense, no expectations. Not a date. Just ... coffee. (Or this season, an egg nog latte.) If she declines nicely, move on.
ChrisQ1980, that's just a sad story. A girl who can't decide what she wants is like a loose cannon on the gun deck -- rolling around, hurting and destroying. Stay away from those, PortlandRL.
I was shy once, too. I had to get over thinking that I had to hide something or act differently (the James Bond syndrome) for a girl to be attracted to me. Time and experience told me otherwise, I have innate qualities (like most men who don't
claim to pound girls then kick them to the curb) that some women respond to, and others don't. There's a LOT of women out there. The one you're fixated on may or may not be one of those who just can't help liking you. Give her an honest try, and if she's not one of the lucky ones who like you, move on to finding one who does.
Rent ROXANNE this weekend and really watch it. It's a classic tale -- the man who loves a woman and presumes that she won't return his feelings because of his physical nature ... and another who loves the woman, but doesn't think she'll like him unless he pretends to be something his isn't (smarter, better with words, more romantic). I'm talking about the original story here, Steve Martin did a wonderful spin on it. The very attractive guy who's clumsy and nervous around women, and can't be calm and relaxed with a gorgeous woman who finds him interesting. An all too common predicament, a guy who is hung up on a girl (like you are), and can't calm down knowing that the hard work is already done -- she already likes him. ... And in the end (something that's happened to me a few times), the one he really connects with is someone he wasn't even thinking about. I've had 2-3 gfs from women I knew, but didn't think were interested. All I had to do was ... ask. In 1-2 cases, I didn't even ask, I was pounced on.
So ask again. No drama, no pretense, no expectations. Not a date. Just ... coffee. (Or this season, an egg nog latte.) If she declines nicely, move on.
ChrisQ1980, that's just a sad story. A girl who can't decide what she wants is like a loose cannon on the gun deck -- rolling around, hurting and destroying. Stay away from those, PortlandRL.
12-26-2008, 01:14 AM
#39
I suppose it's worth mentioning that the three times I asked her out were spaced about a year apart. I have pretty low self-esteem when it comes to girls which probably explains why I've never had a GF.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.
At this point I would be happy to do coffee or lunch with this girl. Such a sad existence I lead.